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487 Responses to ““When Parker Met Guy†Page 7: Sailor Moon Lies”
I was wondering about that last comic, since it seemed unlikely Guy really meant Parker when he talked about his crush. Have to say those, this is… not any less shocking.
You know Bobby, with all this crazy ‘updating’ and stuff, it’s almost like you’re trying to make it so that I can never attain 1000 comment posts.
Btw, I think Guy -does- need to play a game of Stayed Tied Up.
Steff: “I certainly wasn’t expective Sailor Moon.”
No one ever expects Sailor Moon.
I mean cmon… Sailor Moon’s disguise is foolproof.
Tool(band)fan: “And I’m so glad people aren’t saying “first!—
Twenty-second!
Dark Chili: “SAILOR FUCKING MOON WHAT THE HELL!?”
Is that her middle name? The cartoon never really went into that. I know her first name was like… Serena or something.
Cloud’s Apprentice: “Okay, honestly, unexpected plot twist.”
It’s like the Sixth Sense!
“Seems he really WAS hallucinating.”
Or Parker really is Sailor Moon.
Which means Sailor Moon is a lesbian vampire.
I almost want to watch it now. I don’t. But almost. I wonder if there would be shower orgies if I did watch it… hrm.
Chuck: “I wonder what other anime he watches.”
Definitely hope not Vampire Hunter D, for Parker’s sake.
rgz: “You think that’s bad? I thought Parker said Oh My Goddess!”
In my mind she said, “Oh no! Moon Sailor Power ACTIVATE!”
LazerWulf: “Personally, I think Sailor Mercury is cuter.”
Sailor Jupiter.
Actually I’m pretty sure if I look on deviantart I can probably find a Sailor Scout shower orgy in a few minutes.
Dan: “SO HE WAS hallucinating Parker as someone else. Stasia must be relieved as who wants there husbands’ ex-crush now best friend hanging around?”
Waitasecond….
Sailor Moon is blond and wears skimpy clothes.
Stasia is blond and wears skimpy…. clothes…
Oh my god!!!!!!!!
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
CI: “So if Sailor Moon is a lie….does that mean the cake is real?! ”
No. But there is a spoon.
“yeah, I crossed an anime and game reference, but what can I say? I’ve had Portal on the brain lately XD”
And I upped the ante by including a movie reference.
And apparently now a poker reference.
Luneabelle: “I CAN’T BREATHE. SERIOUSLY. HELP. ”
Quick, undo her clothing! This woman can’t breathe!
@Jon Pander: Was “ay” supposed to be “eh”? If you’re going to make fun of our colloquialisms, then spell them right
Would I win back some cool points if I claimed (with no ability whatsoever to prove it on the internet) that I am at least as pretty as Danica McKellar?
How about if I pointed out that I am no longer a physics major, and am only missing it right now because I had about eight billion essays to write this semester?
Also, I would probably follow you on twitter too.
@Caity: Thanks for trying to save my cool points for me. And of course you must keep commenting!
@LazerWulf: I thought they were all prettier than Sailor Moon. I agree with Darian’s nickname of “Meatball head.” Her hair is weird. Plus she’s so freaking whiney.
Hah! Sweet! I was right about Guy hallucinating that Parker was someone else.
Pander: “Is that her middle name? The cartoon never really went into that. I know her first name was like… Serena or something.”
Actually, her name was Usagi…and I’m going to shut up about that now. :::shifty eyes:::
“And I upped the ante by including a movie reference.
And apparently now a poker reference.”
And I’m going to through in a video link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fz2_NkyTv8E
Because if you like/play portal, you should watch it. Actually, even if you haven’t you should, because it’s just plain funny.
Jessica: “Thanks for trying to save my cool points for me. And of course you must keep commenting!”
No problem! Happy to be of assistance hehe…although, perhaps, when doing the contracts, you should remember that *someone* was trying to take *away* cool points ^.~ hehe
“Actually, her name was Usagi…and I’m going to shut up about that now. :::shifty eyes:::”
Against my better judgement, thought I should clarify. Usagi (which if I remember correctly, means ‘Bunny’ more or less) is the character’s name in the original Japanese. However, when the series was dubbed to broadcast in English, whoever was doing it changed the character’s name to Serena.
And now I should really stop…although there are some other interesting changes that were made that would likely catch certain people’s interest *cough* Pander *cough*
Caity: Sailor Moon’s civilian name was changed from Usagi to Serena for a few reasons. In the original Japanese, her full name (in Eastern order of Surname Given-name) is “Tsukino Usagi” which is a pun of the phrase “tsuki no usagi” which means “The Rabbit of the Moon,” which is the Japanese version of the American Man in the Moon. Since they figured American viewers wouldn’t get the rabbit reference, they decided to name her “Serena,” which is a derivation of “Serenity” which is her (moon) mother’s name, in both versions. (Although, in the English manga adaptation, she is named “Bunny.”)
Alicia: The Sailor Moon series only contains lesbians if you go by the original Japanese version. In the American dub, they were changed to *ahem* friendly cousins. The first season had a gay male couple, too, but they dubbed the effeminate one (Zoicite) as a female to get passed the censor board. The final season has three transgendered characters (male in civilian form, but female as Sailor Senshi), which is probably why it was never dubbed.
Jessica: While I’m spouting out useless trivia, in the original Japanese, Mamoru (Darian) calls Usagi “odango-atama” (atama=head). It was changed to “meatball” because most Americans have no idea what odango is.
Pander: I always felt that the magic of their transformations clouds the judgment of all but those who actually see them transform, so that they are never able to put two and two together. And, before you ask, yes, I am Otaku.
This was spectacularly brilliant and so caught me for a loop. I love this series so much, I even bough the hardback edition, even though I already had it all on my iPhone lol
Who is Sailor Moon? And why should I care? I figure it’s an anime, but I’ve never heard of it. And I used to watch a lot of anime in the early part of the decade.
LazerWulf: Yeah, I was aware of that, but thanks for the info anyway I try not to reveal all of my geekiness, past and present, too much at a time. If I spread it out, maybe it won’t seem as bad haha ^.~ But along the lines of things changed for America, don’t forget about Fisheye, who was a guy in Japan but made a woman for the English series.
I had an anime/manga phase and still enjoy it from time to time, but when I was really into it, I always preferred subbed to dubbed, and thus I always refer to the originals, rather than the English versions.
If I had a choice, I’m like Pander here, Sailor Jupiter.
The lesbians (cousins if you watched the Americanization) are Uranus & Neptune.
The “bunny on the moon” is actually supposedly a rabbit who lives on the moon who makes rice cakes for children, the MapleStory MMORPG has a party quest where you deal with a rice-cake making bunny, DragonBall (not Z, not GT, and not the awful live-action movie) has Goku put a bunny creature on the moon as pennance for his crimes where he’ll make bunny-shaped rice cakes for a year as pennance, and that’s all I can think of that reference it.
Okay, since Guy is an anime fan (albeit different shows than I like, apparently), I am more convinced that Guy is me in a parallel universe. The glasses, the scruff, the all-around nice guy-ness…
And here I thought the twist was that Guy had a crush on Parker. This is almost like an M. Night Shyamalan movie (and I mean that in the least insulting possible way).
Every single one of Guy’s expressions on this page is awesome.
Sailor Mercury + Sailor Jupiter FTW! ^_^ Seriously, those two should have hooked up. They would have been nearly as hot as Amara and Michelle, or Haruka and Michiru for you purists.
…Sailor Moon. I… I’m not sure what to say. Certainly if Guy had any inkling that a real human being could hear him, he would never have admitted to having a crush on Sailor Moon.
I think I see why he was so embarrassed of this story. I would be.
That was AWESOME.
And rgz, your interpretation was AWESOMER.
‘You’re Sailor Moon!’
“Oh! My Goddess!’
The odd thing is I’m a girl who likes anime (what I have time to watch) and I never watched Sailor Moon. That seems like a staple of childhood for most people I know. Was I missing much?
Actually, reading all these other posts, it sounds like I did. :/
Bobby/Eisu, kudos on the mucho updating.
Pander: Guy’s wildest dreams came true! He married Sailor Moon!!!
Jessica: Of course you’re at least as pretty (or prettier) than Danica whoeverthatis. You’re an Internets poster. A canadian one, at that? Aren’t all people who hide behind a computer highly attractive?
Caity and Alicia and LazerWulf: Thanks for the SM education. Lesbians? Really? All that’s very interesting. Like the Pokemon episode with James as a woman that was never released in the US. Someone has an icon with him playing with one of his breasts that’s the awesomest thing ever.
That’s right. I’ve said awesomer and awesomest. Thus is the privilege of being an English minor.
Bill M.: Love the extra bunny info! Particularly Dragonball. Very cool.
But anyone who SAYS he’s a nice guy, isn’t.
@Caity: Unlike you, I have no “throttle” on how much geekiness I exude.
@Spider: I remember watching Sailor Moon on Toonami in the late 90s, so if your pool of anime is limited to the 21st century, it might have been just before your time. I’d say it’s definitely worth checking out, though, since it was the first “Magical Girl” anime to make it big (at least, in America). I’m sure if you look hard enough, you can find it somewhere on the internet.
Jessica: ‘Marzipan, I get the feeling you’re making fun of me ’
…Actually, I was sucking up to you in hopes of mad flirtage. Guess I kinda suck at that.
Plus, I was being sarcastic because the idea of beautiful people behind every monitor amuses me. Even though we’re all beautiful inside.
Jenn: Yay BnL! Which song is that from? It escapes me. I know it involves a lot of fast talking, though with BnL that doesn’t narrow it down much.
Kat: ‘And NOBODY expects the Spanish Enqisition!’
The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
I bet you’re wishing that we’d go away
But the Inquisition’s here and it’s here to staaaay!
<3 Mel Brooks
and omg… i seriously wasn’t expecting sailor moon. perhaps some seriously hot actress, but never sailor moon (though personally I prefer Chi for my girl crush, but that just might be because I’ve never watched SM). >.>
Marzipan Says: Bill M.: Love the extra bunny info! Particularly Dragonball. Very cool. But anyone who SAYS he’s a nice guy, isn’t.
You wound me, deeper than any weapon forged by man ever could…
Jenn: Yay BnL! Which song is that from? It escapes me. I know it involves a lot of fast talking, though with BnL that doesn’t narrow it down much.
That’s easy, One Week. I remember it was in the original Karaoke Revolution for the PS2. My copy was stolen when someone busted in my back door and took a bunch of games, my PS2 without the power cord, and passed up my over 200+ discs of anime, several hundreds worth of tools, televisions, and other stuff.
Never heard of someone having a crush on Usagi … XD! It’s usually Rei and Mako (Mars and Jupiter) people love a lot … I gotta speak up for Mina (Venus) though. Poor ignored Mina.
@Bill M.
Whoa, they seriously passed up all the anime DVDs … you could make a fortune on Amazon with those. I once put up an InuYasha boxed set and sold it within an hour. XD Must’ve been taking things for personal enjoyment. Sorry to hear that, though.
Jessica: “Was “ay†supposed to be “ehâ€? If you’re going to make fun of our colloquialisms, then spell them right”
And what makes you think I’m making fun of them, ay?
“Would I win back some cool points if I claimed (with no ability whatsoever to prove it on the internet) that I am at least as pretty as Danica McKellar?”
Yes, if you claim to be as hot as Danica in a bikini. I’ll let my imagination do the rest.
“How about if I pointed out that I am no longer a physics major, and am only missing it right now because I had about eight billion essays to write this semester?”
No, stick with the first option.
“Also, I would probably follow you on twitter too.”
Gotcha. Twitter=minion following.
“Plus she’s so freaking whiney.”
Par for the course for 80% of all anime girls.
Caity: “Actually, her name was Usagi…and I’m going to shut up about that now. :::shifty eyes:::”
Usagi, as in Usagi Yojimbo huh. Wasn’t he a ninja rabbit on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sailor Moon’s parents must have hated her.
“Because if you like/play portal, you should watch it. Actually, even if you haven’t you should, because it’s just plain funny.”
Actually, never played the game. It’s still in it’s original shrink wrap. I never have time – too busy with work, forming my church, maintaining the harem, and commenting on webcomics.
“And now I should really stop…although there are some other interesting changes that were made that would likely catch certain people’s interest *cough* Pander *cough*”
What, in the original japanese during the transformation scenes was she shown as totally nekkers instead of a sparkly silouhette or something?
Alicia: “And Pander–The Sailor Moon series does contain lesbians…”
I’m suddenly more interested in that cartoon.
LazerWulf: “Caity: Sailor Moon’s civilian name was changed from Usagi to Serena for a few reasons.”
You know waaay too much about this cartoon for a guy. Please tell me it’s just because of the lesbians?
“In the original Japanese, her full name (in Eastern order of Surname Given-name) is “Tsukino Usagi†which is a pun of the phrase “tsuki no usagi†which means “The Rabbit of the Moon,†which is the Japanese version of the American Man in the Moon.”
So basically Sailor Moon was the japanese, blond, teenage version of Andy Kaufman?
Ibbee da?
“Since they figured American viewers wouldn’t get the rabbit reference, they decided to name her “Serena,†which is a derivation of “Serenity†which is her (moon) mother’s name, in both versions.”
I hear that when Joss Whedon was planning on marketing one of his TV series in Japan, he intended on calling it Bunny Spaceship Ho!
“The Sailor Moon series only contains lesbians if you go by the original Japanese version.”
I’ve lost interest in the american version now.
“In the American dub, they were changed to *ahem* friendly cousins.”
Who have sex with each other?
Let me know so I know if I should be interested in this cartoon again.
“The first season had a gay male couple, too,”
Lost interest again.
“but they dubbed the effeminate one (Zoicite) as a female to get passed the censor board.”
Still lost interest.
“The final season has three transgendered characters (male in civilian form, but female as Sailor Senshi), which is probably why it was never dubbed.”
I’m unsure of what to say here, given that I like watching Ranma.
“While I’m spouting out useless trivia,”
Thank goodness for that!
” in the original Japanese, Mamoru (Darian) calls Usagi “odango-atama†(atama=head). It was changed to “meatball†because most Americans have no idea what odango is.”
I hear that when All in the Family was marketed in Japan, Archie would call his son-in-law odango-atama. True story. I read it on the internet.
“Pander: I always felt that the magic of their transformations clouds the judgment of all but those who actually see them transform, so that they are never able to put two and two together.”
They could at least put on glasses or something when not in Sailor costumes. It worked for superman.
So wait, is Sailor Moon a samurai rabbit, a meatball, or a werewolf from that role playing game?
“And, before you ask, yes, I am Otaku.”
1) …. I’m not sure whether I should be concerned about that or not.
2) I’m sure you can get some ointment to clear that right up.
Tool(band)fan: “I only went to bed for 8 hours and this happens how did all these comments get here!?!?!?”
1) Because Tool sucks.
2) Because of Moon Sailor Power.
3) If I heard right from some guy in the U.S. Senate…. it got here from… tubes… of some sort.
Steff: “@Jon Pander: Are you sure? There’s gotta be at least one person who can see through her.”
To what are you referring?
All-purpose answer. I guess Superman could… you know, with the X-ray vision and all.
MrGBH: “Guy’s face in that last panel. I think I might have to go to the hospital if I look at it again.”
Yknow I’m a lawyer, we might have a legal case if you do.
Name_is_Z: “THE GIRL IS A LIE!”
There is a spoon.
Mabs: “She looks more like Sailor Mars.”
Is she the hot one?
Spider money: “Who is Sailor Moon? And why should I care? I figure it’s an anime, but I’ve never heard of it. And I used to watch a lot of anime in the early part of the decade.”
It’s some sort of poorly made anime for american audiences involving, from what I’m learning, lesbian cousins as its primary redeeming value.
Bill M.: “Sadly, I knew most of this stuff already.”
Yes. That is sad.
“If I had a choice, I’m like Pander here, Sailor Jupiter.”
I approve of the fact that you wish to think like me.
You’re well on your way to becoming popular now.
Sailor Jupiter is the rowr one.
“The lesbians (cousins if you watched the Americanization) are Uranus & Neptune.”
Heh heh… he said Uranus.
Btw, to all church of pander babes, if you want to wear Sailor Uranus/Sailor Neptune outfits while in the shower orgy (during the first half of it at least), you this is now allowed as ceremonial garb.
“DragonBall (not Z, not GT, and not the awful live-action movie) has Goku put a bunny creature on the moon as pennance for his crimes where he’ll make bunny-shaped rice cakes for a year as pennance, and that’s all I can think of that reference it.”
Sailor Moon, Dragonball Z. We’re talking about all the anime greats now arent we. Btw, this is sarcasm.
“I’M ON TO YOU, MR. CROSBY!”
YEAH SO AM I!
Goatboy: “And Mars is the hottest. Or Jupiter.”
Which one was the amazonian one again?
Lunaroki: “Sailor Mercury + Sailor Jupiter FTW! ^_^ Seriously, those two should have hooked up. They would have been nearly as hot as Amara and Michelle, or Haruka and Michiru for you purists.”
I have got to read some Sailor Moon fanfic after listening to this stuff on the forums.
Marzipan: “The odd thing is I’m a girl who likes anime (what I have time to watch) and I never watched Sailor Moon.”
Which means you have taste.
“Actually, reading all these other posts, it sounds like I did. :/”
Yes I had no idea of lesbians in it.
“Pander: Guy’s wildest dreams came true! He married Sailor Moon!!!”
Yes. I found out the secret twist ending Bobby was hiding from us.
“Jessica: Of course you’re at least as pretty (or prettier) than Danica whoeverthatis. You’re an Internets poster. A canadian one, at that? Aren’t all people who hide behind a computer highly attractive?”
That’s the assumption that keeps me happy.
“That’s right. I’ve said awesomer and awesomest. Thus is the privilege of being an English minor.”
Does it mean you know a minor amount of English?
Godbot: “I did NOT see that coming.”
You heard it here. God is not omniscient.
Jessica: “Marzipan, I get the feeling you’re making fun of me”
If I tell you that she IS making fun of you, does that mean you’ll both get into a catfight involving ripping off each other’s clothes?
Charlie: “Onload of page my antivirus put alert, check pls.”
You have just downloaded the Marry Me virus. Symptoms include lots of comments and talking about the intricacies of Sailor Moon.
Mandi: “div#main{overflow:visible;}”
Wha?
Ellie: “Fighting evil by moonlight! Winning love by daylight! Never running from a real fight! She is the one named Sailor Moon!”
I’m trying to figure if you saying that means you deserve for me to start talking about puppy karate chopping again.
Nah I’ll forgive it …. this time.
Kat: “Steff: “I certainly wasn’t expective Sailor Moon.â€
Jon Pander: “No one ever expects Sailor Moon.â€
And NOBODY expects the Spanish Enqisition!”
I was wondering when someone was going to say that.
The Inquistion – lets begin
The Inquisition – look out sin.
We know you’re wishin’ that we’d go away…
But the Inquisition’s here and it’s here to staaaaaaaaaaay.
Replace ‘Inquisition’ with ‘Sailor Moon conversations’ and it’s still applicable.
Marzipans: “…Actually, I was sucking up to you in hopes of mad flirtage. Guess I kinda suck at that.”
No, she was making fun of you. catfight! cmon please?
“The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
I bet you’re wishing that we’d go away
But the Inquisition’s here and it’s here to staaaay!”
Hey Torquemada, whaddya say?
I just got back from the auto-de-fe
Auto-de-fe? What’s an auto-de-fe?
(It’s something you shouldn’t do, but you do anyway)
Vera: “Now we need some Stasia cosplay after this flashback is over. That would be awesome.”
I would approve of thi. You are a genius for suggesting it.
Bill M.: “You wound me, deeper than any weapon forged by man ever could…”
Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*
Marzipan says: Pander: Guy’s wildest dreams came true! He married Sailor Moon!!!
No. Marriage is one thing, most guys don’t dream of the marriage, they dream of what they do during the marriage, so his wildest dream would be that he impregnated Sailor Moon… and I seriously have a hard time seeing Stasia in that ridiculous hairdo.
Jon Pander says: Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*
Buffy? Never watched it. I was referencing Heroes Season 2, if I was referencing anything.
Also, I am astounded at the History of the World Part 1 song quotes here.
Mars was a damn bitch!! People only liked her because she’s a slut with her slutty little high heels. Psshh. Mercury was the best. Sailor Moon was just so very very whiny… I’m allowed to be informed about SM because I’m a girl. XD;
At any rate, I read this whole comic in like, two days, and I loved it!! Fortunately this page was the first “updated” page I’ve gotten, so I just clicked Current from the mainframe and didn’t see the title. Thus, when Guy said “You’re Sailor Moon!!” I literally laughed out loud. Fully spelled out and everything. And I STILL have to giggle whenever I reread the page.
Wow….this has to be one of the oddest pages yet, but so very pleasing to the senses. I give love to anyone who hallucinates about Senshi. Though I must agree with many others on this board, Sailor Moon is not the one I’d want to see in fever dreams, definitely Mars or Saturn.
Alicia: “as for Sailor Uranus . . . I’d hit that”
She’d hit back.
Pander: “You know waaay too much about this cartoon for a guy. Please tell me it’s just because of the lesbians?”
It’s because ALL (or at least most) of the girls are hot. Not just the lesbians. Actually it was because my parents had forbidden me to watch anime, so, in an act of typical teenage rebellion, I watched all the anime I could find, which, at the time, was limited to Toonami and whatever crap came on Saturday mornings.
And because whatever shred of non-geekiness in my image has probably defenestrated itself, I might as well admit that I have co-written fanfiction about a group called the Kuiper Belt Senshi, featuring Sailors Sedna, Eris, Ixion, Quaoar, Orcus, and Varuna.
“It’s because ALL (or at least most) of the girls are hot.”
This is true.
“Actually it was because my parents had forbidden me to watch anime, so, in an act of typical teenage rebellion, I watched all the anime I could find, which, at the time, was limited to Toonami and whatever crap came on Saturday mornings.”
That’s…. the most subdued act of rebellion I’ve ever heard. But I approve of your motivation being to watch hot girls.
Eregnon: “Just curious. Has guy EVER shaved?”
Guy has a rare condition which causes him to have a permanent 5 oclock shadow, much like Homer Simpson. It never grows more than that, and never goes away…. even if he was to shave.
ModdyPride: “Holy snap that’s funny…”
Indeed. It’s all that and a bag of chips.
Jon Pander Says: ” “Sailor Pluto:â€
I’d do her, despite being reclassified as a ‘plutoid’ sailor scout by the International Astronomical Union.
Yknow, she’s way too tall to be considered a ‘dwarf’ sailor scout.
“Sailor Moon:â€
I’d probably do her but I dunno. I’d have to have a few drinks first.
And technically she shouldn’t be considered more of a sailor scout than Sailor Pluto. I mean cmon the Moon is a SATELLITE only.
Unfair.”
Technically speaking, the Moon is the only moon in the solar system which is not actually a moon. Astronomically speaking, it’s Earth’s sister planet. It’s too big for a moon compared to our planet. It’s outside the range within which a moon should orbit our planet. The Sun has a stronger gravitational grip on it than the Earth does. It’s orbit around the sun is completely convex. It never falls away from the Sun but always toward it, just sometimes to a lesser degree that allows it’s orbit to circle around behind the Earth. In every way it’s nature and behavior fit more closely with a planet sharing Earth’s orbit around the Sun than a moon orbiting around the Earth. It’s strange to say but our Moon, the first heavenly body ever so named and from which all other moons get the name, is not a moon at all but a planet co-orbiting the Sun with us.
Sorry Pluto. Sailor Moon is the real deal and you’re not.
Oh, that’s only the most well-known BnL song EVER…
*facepalm*
I spend too much time listening to their NON-singles.
(thanks skip and Bill M.)
Bill M.: “You wound me, deeper than any weapon forged by man ever could…”
That would be because I’m a woman.
Wow, that was some badass theft. I’m sorry to hear it. I’m all pissed because my boyfriend’s car has been broken into thrice, but he only had the one stereo to steal; every other time all they’ve taken is change.
Jessica: I think Pander is striving (and falling short of) a pirate Canadian impression. Aye, eh?
Pander: “What, in the original japanese during the transformation scenes was she shown as totally nekkers instead of a sparkly silouhette or something?”
Japanese shows have all the fun.
And you are seriously going way nuts on the comments. Not that I can really criticize, with how long mine get, but seriously I am just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling… is this like compensation or something?
“Which means you have taste.”
Do not, I talk to you, don’t I?
And yes, an English minor means I am a minor expert in the English language.
Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight.
But you win major points with my boyfriend for the auto-de-fe part.
LazerWulf: You win massive points for using the word defenestrated. Even though I’m not entirely sure it was in the right context (see English minor comment above.)
Marzipan: “…Actually, I was sucking up to you in hopes of mad flirtage. Guess I kinda suck at that.”
No, I just kinda suck at recognizing mad flirtage. If that is the case, then I am flattered.
“Plus, I was being sarcastic because the idea of beautiful people behind every monitor amuses me. Even though we’re all beautiful inside. ”
Are we indeed? I think I’ll defy Godwin and use Karla Homolka (beautiful on the outside) or Robert Picton (not so much) as examples to the contrary instead.
Beech: “I gotta speak up for Mina (Venus) though. Poor ignored Mina.”
She was my favourite as a kid. Mostly because she had her own talking cat and wasn’t as annoying as Sailor Moon.
Jon Pander: “And what makes you think I’m making fun of them, ay?”
I’m just gonna sigh and roll my eyes.
“Yes, if you claim to be as hot as Danica in a bikini. I’ll let my imagination do the rest.”
I thought we already discussed the whole former-competitive-swimmer-always-wears-one-pieces thing. Couldn’t we come up with some equally sexy outfit that covers more skin? I get cold very easily. I wouldn’t be averse to dressing as cat woman, for example.
“No, stick with the first option.”
What if I mention I salsa (and other latin) dance?
“Par for the course for 80% of all anime girls.”
Golf metaphors sneaking in from Last Blood?
“too busy with work, forming my church, maintaining the harem, and commenting on webcomics.”
Aw muffin…
“If I tell you that she IS making fun of you, does that mean you’ll both get into a catfight involving ripping off each other’s clothes?”
No.
“No, she was making fun of you. catfight! cmon please?”
I said no.
“Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*”
You should lend that to Caity.
Bill M.: “so his wildest dream would be that he impregnated Sailor Moon”
Really? Men’s wildest dreams include caring for bloated, overly emotional women, and then the financial burden of children?
“Buffy? Never watched it.”
Watch it. Now. All of it. It is a requirement for all Church of Pander employees. Also, it’s amazing. (Er… the first season and a half is pretty camp, but it becomes incredible. And the camp’s really fun anyway.) And then watch Firefly.
Jon Pander: “I’d do her, despite being reclassified as a ‘plutoid’ sailor scout by the International Astronomical Union.”
I wondered how long it would take for someone to bring that up. Dare I ask what you’d like for a prize?
Lunaroki: “Technically speaking, the Moon is the only moon in the solar system which is not actually a moon.” etc.
Interesting. This is why I really want to find a way to take that darned year-long astronomy course before I finish my undergrad.
Marzipan: “I think Pander is striving (and falling short of) a pirate Canadian impression. Aye, eh?”
Haha, if that’s the case, “falling short” is the operative phrase. I like your explanation. (Have you ever heard the Arrogant Worms and their song about the Saskatchewan Pirate? Probably only funny to Canadians…)
“(Pander)“Which means you have taste.â€
Do not, I talk to you, don’t I? ”
High five for that.
“Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight. ”
Agreed.
Jessica says: “Really? Men’s wildest dreams include caring for bloated, overly emotional women, and then the financial burden of children?”
No. Men’s wildest dreams is to prove they are fertile, that their genetics will live on. Imagine if this were a farm, what was alleged was that buying the farm was the wildest dream, where as planting seed and watching it sprout and get ready for harvest is the true dream.
“Watch it. Now. All of it. It is a requirement for all Church of Pander employees. Also, it’s amazing. (Er… the first season and a half is pretty camp, but it becomes incredible. And the camp’s really fun anyway.) And then watch Firefly.”
I will watch Buffy for two reasons, because you say so, and because of Alyson Hannigan, one of the hottest redheads that hasn’t gone bleach blonde. As to Firefly, I’ve seen it. I’ve watched a ton of sci-fi stuff…
Bill M.: “I will watch Buffy for two reasons, because you say so, and because of Alyson Hannigan, one of the hottest redheads that hasn’t gone bleach blonde.”
You mean the fact that I say so isn’t reason enough? *pout*
Alyson Hannigan’s character is pretty excellent in Buffy. I’m sure Jon approves of her choices in later seasons.
“As to Firefly, I’ve seen it. I’ve watched a ton of sci-fi stuff…”
That’ll make it difficult for you to hate one of the villains in Season 7. He’s played by Nathan Fillion.
Lunaroki: “It’s strange to say but our Moon, the first heavenly body ever so named and from which all other moons get the name, is not a moon at all but a planet co-orbiting the Sun with us.”
Actually according to the IAS, to be a planet, it must be orbiting the sun. It doesn’t. It orbits the Earth. So it’s not a planet, it’s a moon. The main reason it’s so big is because, unlike most satellites, it was formed when another planet (Theta) smashed into the earth about 4.5 billion years ago, so it had a larger amount of planetary matter in its construction than most other satellites in the solar system.
Oh yeah, the Pan-Man knows astronomy! He’s not just all looks and clever wit!
“Sorry Pluto. Sailor Moon is the real deal and you’re not.”
Nah they’re both fakers. The only difference is Pluto USED to be real and Moon never was.
Rin: “I read pander’s comment and LOL’d I wasn’t allowed to watch anime either and did the same thing.”
Seriously it’s like being a rebel by using 2% fat free milk instead of skim mulk.
“My husband has the same crush on sailor moon that Guy does but she’s so annoying its a wonder how anyone can have any sexual attraction to her.”
Depending on how hot a girl is, most men will forgive quite a bit of annoying behavior. The problem is that Sailor Moon is not the hottest of the sailor scouts. In fact she’s in the bottom 2 in terms of hotness.
Definitely a conundrum.
Ro: “Then he turns around and smacks Sailor Moon in your face.”
You know, if i hadn’t read the comic before readng this comment, and tried to figure out what the comic was about, I’d have assumed that he mooned her.
Marzipan: “I’m all pissed because my boyfriend’s car has been broken into thrice, but he only had the one stereo to steal; every other time all they’ve taken is change.”
If only he had sailor moon there to protect his car.
“Jessica: I think Pander is striving (and falling short of) a pirate Canadian impression.”
How dare you call me Canadian!
To quote Bill M., you wound me!
Calling me a pirate on the other hand is cool. I’m so piratey that I wear two eyepatches.
“And you are seriously going way nuts on the comments.”
I’m thorough.
“Not that I can really criticize, with how long mine get, but seriously I am just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling… is this like compensation or something?”
For calling me canadian, I should make you scroll through much, much more.
“Do not, I talk to you, don’t I?”
Tecnically you don’t talk to me. You post on the same board as me, which still remains in the area of having good taste.
“Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight.”
okay perhaps you don’t understand the goal of every man on the planet. Ever.
All men want to see two hot babes in a catfight. Because then there’s the possibility of clothing tear-age. And the slim possibility that they might start making out.
“But you win major points with my boyfriend for the auto-de-fe part.”
Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day
Will you convert?
No, no, no, no
Will you confess?
No, no, no, no
Will you revert?
No, no, no, no
Will you say yes?
No, no, no, no
“LazerWulf: You win massive points for using the word defenestrated. Even though I’m not entirely sure it was in the right context (see English minor comment above.)”
I believe that defenestrated means to lose your fenestrate, in the past tense. Then again I wasn’t an English minor.
Tool(band)fan: “If you think tool sucks ugot mental problems honestly if you don’t like thier music that must mean that you have no life”
Hey I was just answering your question of how all these posts happened.
I have no idea what songs Tool even sings. Is it anything like Barry Manilow?
Jessica: “Plus, I was being sarcastic because the idea of beautiful people behind every monitor amuses me. Even though we’re all beautiful inside.”
At least she didn’t back up this statement by a youtube video of Susan Boyle.
“I thought we already discussed the whole former-competitive-swimmer-always-wears-one-pieces thing.”
I’ll accept a monokini as well.
“I get cold very easily.”
I’ll keep ya warm.
“I wouldn’t be averse to dressing as cat woman, for example.”
If you’re going to dress up as a comic book heroine, I insist on either Supegirl, Powergirl or Caitlin Fairchild.
Rowr to all 3.
“What if I mention I salsa (and other latin) dance?”
I do like to say ‘salsa’…
“Golf metaphors sneaking in from Last Blood?”
Hole in one.
“Aw muffin…”
Yes shnookums?
““If I tell you that she IS making fun of you, does that mean you’ll both get into a catfight involving ripping off each other’s clothes?â€
No.”
Please?
““No, she was making fun of you. catfight! cmon please?â€
I said no.”
Aw cmon! pretty please? I’ll hold the vid cam.
““Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*â€
You should lend that to Caity.”
After I’m done with it, sure.
“And then watch Firefly.”
Just don’t watch it in the order the network showed it , because then it’ll be out of order.
“I wondered how long it would take for someone to bring that up. Dare I ask what you’d like for a prize?”
Let me videotape you in a catfight. That would be a great prize.
“Interesting. This is why I really want to find a way to take that darned year-long astronomy course before I finish my undergrad.”
He’s not correct to be honest. Trust in the Pander.
“High five for that.”
Et tu Brute?
““Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight. â€
Agreed.”
Never. You gonna take her telling you what to do? Fight fight!
Bill M.: “Men’s wildest dreams is to prove they are fertile, that their genetics will live on.”
You sound like a Nietzchian. I”m calling in Kevin Zorbo to deal with you.
“I will watch Buffy for two reasons, because you say so,”
Good reason.
“and because of Alyson Hannigan, one of the hottest redheads that hasn’t gone bleach blonde.”
Plus she was in American Pie where she was a total nympho.
Jessica: “Alyson Hannigan’s character is pretty excellent in Buffy. I’m sure Jon approves of her choices in later seasons.”
Yes and no. I didn’t approve of her being with Tara, but definitely did with Kennedy. There’s a major rowr factor going on there.
Tool: Yeah, you must be totally right. It wouldn’t have anything to do with natural diversity and people’s own preference for other music… your way must be the only right way. Just shut the hell up, will you? Do the forum a favor?
Sorry for the webhate guys, I’m just sick of this idiot.
Jessica: I could live with you dressed as Catwoman. Doing the salsa. While eating salsa (and chips.) Rowr.
But I would love to hear the epic tale of the Saskatchewant pirates. Except I never want to type that word again. Whew! I’ve never heard of the Arrogant Worms. But I’m feeling the conversation might turn back to music, which isn’t a bad thing. I love finding out about bands I’ve never heard of and checking them out.
Loved Firefly, never quite had the time to watch the 50 million seasons of Buffy. I’ve heard it’s excellent, I’ve just only caught an episode hear or there. I know I could always get a marathon viewing going with my best friend, who knows whole episode scripts by heart.
And I agree with Bill M., Alyson is the rad. Yay redheads.
Pander, I think Lunaroki’s point is that the Moon and the Earth orbit each other and both of them also orbit the sun, in the way of true sister planets. I thought that was the way Pluto and Neptune worked too, actually. Planetary Astronomy was a couple of semesters ago.
Seriously! Where WAS Sailor Moon when we needed her??
It’s the next big security company. Random Anime Superhero Car Alarms! Even if they just get their asses kicked by our rather imposing mainly Mexican neighbors, at least their androgynous, emo shrieking will alert everyone!
And now I’ve got a visual of the Yu-Gi-Oh main character pulling cards while a car thief is pulling a gun.
And Canadians are rad. I wish I was one; it’d be way preferable to being a damn redneck hick Nevadan (even though I was born in ghetto L.A.)
Tool(band)fan: “Who the heck is barry manilow?”
He write the songs that makes the whole world sing.
Does TOOL write the songs that make the whole world sing?
No?
I didn’t think so.
Marzipan: “Sorry for the webhate guys, I’m just sick of this idiot.”
He writes the posts that make the whole world shrug.
“Jessica: I could live with you dressed as Catwoman. Doing the salsa. While eating salsa (and chips.)”
And if she gets messy eating the salsa, we do have a nice shower orgy available.
“Rowr.”
(tm)
“I love finding out about bands I’ve never heard of and checking them out.”
Except for Tool. Since everyone hates Tool.
“Pander, I think Lunaroki’s point is that the Moon and the Earth orbit each other and both of them also orbit the sun, in the way of true sister planets.”
But the thing is that a proper planet orbits the sun as its primary orbit. Orbiting another planet which is orbiting the sun is, by definition, not a planet – it’s a moon. Otherwise every single moon in the solar system would be considered a planet (many moons around some of the outer planets like Jupiter and Saturn are bigger than some of the inner planets, like Mercury. And Pluto’s moon is not much smaller than Pluto.
Don’t blame me for knowing this stuff, blame the History Channel and the Discovery Channel. They done poisoned my mind with facts. Who knows how many perverted things I’d be able to think of if those astronomical facts didn’t push em out.
“I thought that was the way Pluto and Neptune worked too, actually.”
No, Neptune is a planet still. Pluto isn’t because they claim it hasn’t sufficiently cleared the neighborhood around its orbit. It has to be the dominant mass in its orbit. Pluto isn’t. Neither is the Earth’s moon. So neither are planets. Pluto is more of a planet than the moon, though, because Pluto at least orbits around the sun directly.
Note to self: Stop sounding so intelligent. Everyone already envies you for being so witty, good looking and popular with the ladies. Kennedy didn’t take heed of that deadly combination and look where it got him!
“it’d be way preferable to being a damn redneck hick Nevadan (even though I was born in ghetto L.A.)”
You’re a redneck hick ghetto Los Angeles Nevadan?
I do believe this is the first time anyone has used the word ‘redneck hick’ and ‘ghetto’ in the same sentence to describe oneself.
Marzipan: I’m pretty sure I was using “defenestrate” in a metaphorical, not literal, sense. As in “whatever shred of non-geekiness in my image has probably gone out the window.”
Lunaroki/Pander: Technically, the Moon is considered a moon, not only because it orbits the Earth, but that the barycenter of that orbit lies within the Earth itself. If anything, the only moon which is not a moon would be Charon. Charon does not technically orbit Pluto, because both Charon and Pluto orbit a barycenter that lies outside either body, which would technically make it a binary (dwarf) planet-system, like the one Lunaroki is (falsely) suggesting the Earth and the Moon are. However, the IAU has yet to officially rule on the status of Charon, which is still considered only a moon of Pluto. (Smaller moons Nix and Hydra orbit the same barycenter, but are not spherical, and thus do not qualify for dwarf planet status.)
Incidentally, I have made a Sailor Charon character for a future fanfic, who is Sailor Pluto’s evil twin.
Jon Pander: “Oh yeah, the Pan-Man knows astronomy! He’s not just all looks and clever wit!”
I’ll admit to being impressed if you promise never to call yourself “the Pan-Man” again.
“okay perhaps you don’t understand the goal of every man on the planet. Ever. All men want to see two hot babes in a catfight.”
Odd, this is different from the goal stated by Bill M. But I read both of those statements on the internet…
“I’ll accept a monokini as well.”
What on earth is a monokini?
“I’ll keep ya warm.”
*sigh* Guess I did set that one up awfully nicely for you. How about I deliberately misunderstand and suggest you keep me warm by buying me a really nice coat?
“If you’re going to dress up as a comic book heroine, I insist on either Supegirl, Powergirl or Caitlin Fairchild.”
I think I’d have to go with Caitlin Fairchild since I find Superman (and therefore all of his relatives) incredibly boring. But again, I think I’d get awfully cold in that outfit. That’s where the nice new coat comes in, I suppose.
“(me)“Aw muffin…â€
(Jon)Yes shnookums?”
That was not an endearment. That was sarcastic sympathy.
“Please?”
No.
“Aw cmon! pretty please? I’ll hold the vid cam.”
Still no.
“Let me videotape you in a catfight. That would be a great prize.”
Shockingly, still no! (Look, I’m rather fond of my hair staying attached to my head.)
“Et tu Brute?”
That’s what happens when you forget I’m in the supply business, not part of the merchandise.
“Never. You gonna take her telling you what to do? Fight fight!”
So I should let you tell me what to do instead?
Hey Marzipan, if we ever DO have a catfight, let’s film it and then refuse to show it to him.
Marzipan: “While eating salsa (and chips.) Rowr.”
I’m actually not a fan of the edible type of salsa. Only the dance type. But you’re welcome to eat it while I dance.
“But I would love to hear the epic tale of the Saskatchewant pirates. Except I never want to type that word again. Whew! I’ve never heard of the Arrogant Worms.”
I don’t think it’s that epic. Seriously probably only funny to Canadians. But I’m sure you could look up the Arrogant Worms on youtube or isohunt or something. Canadian group that sings silly songs. If you want to look up Canadian music, you should look up Great Big Sea. Folk-rock group from Newfoundland. Their music is so full of happy.
“And Canadians are rad. I wish I was one; it’d be way preferable to being a damn redneck hick Nevadan (even though I was born in ghetto L.A.)”
We are pretty rad. Nathan Fillion is a Canadian. But to be perfectly honest, we have our share of rednecks. And Nevada has Vegas, which I hear is awesome, and LA has palm trees, which are definitely excellent.
Jon Pander: “And if she gets messy eating the salsa, we do have a nice shower orgy available.”
Supply, NOT merchandise.
“But the thing is that a proper planet orbits the sun as its primary orbit.” etc.
Does it occur to you that you’re engaging in a debate about whether or not sailor scouts belong to true planets, when you were just making fun of a fellow for a discussion of the physics of golf ball velocities?
Just sayin’.
“Note to self: Stop sounding so intelligent. Everyone already envies you for being so witty, good looking and popular with the ladies.”
You forgot to mention your modesty again.
LazerWulf: “Incidentally, I have made a Sailor Charon character for a future fanfic, who is Sailor Pluto’s evil twin.”
Does Sailor Charon have a goatee?
Technically, goatees do not signify “evil twins,” but rather “evil alternate dimension selves.”
The thing that makes evil twins work is that they must be able to take the good twin’s place without anyone noticing, and thus be able to ruin the good twins reputation. (Like on Friends, when Ursula used Phoebe’s name in porn films.)
Pander: “He writes the posts that make the whole world shrug.” It’s true. It’s just my shoulders hurt. From all the shrugging.
Sorry I didn’t TM, I forgot. And I don’t know how to do subscript.
Please don’t sue me. :/ I’ll put on a new and sexier negligee for you…
And I don’t hate Tool. I just don’t always love songs that last 15 frickin’ minutes, and I highly doubt that one band is the be-all and end-all of music.
Barry Manilow is.
And just think of planets as God’s balls. Perveted astronomy thought accomplished. Haha, we’re on a sweaty, hairy ball of God.
“You’re a redneck hick ghetto Los Angeles Nevadan?”
Yes. And I went to a rich-kid school. You can’t say I’m not economically and culturally diverse.
In a really white way. :/
LazerWulf: It was Charon and Pluto that I was thinking of, that orbit each other. Thank you!
And I love Sailor Charon!
Jessica: I don’t pull hair. I fight dirtier. >:D
That sounds great. Except I’d rather make love, not war.
But we should definitely not show him the film.
Great Big Sea sounds good, too. I dig the happy.
Um…
Who is Nathan Fillion?
And we’re across the state from Vegas, and an 8 hour drive from LA too, so all we have is sagebrush. Lots and lots of Sage brush. And a modestly nice downtown, but nothing like the Strip. If any Renoian tries to tell you that we don’t have Vegas envy, definitely don’t believe them.
Female twins should not have goatees, regardless of how evil they are. They shouild have magnificent bodies though, to make the good twin jealous and thus tip her into the path of evil.
“Lunaroki/Pander: Technically, the Moon is considered a moon, not only because it orbits the Earth, but that the barycenter of that orbit lies within the Earth itself.”
Correct. See Lunaroki, Lazerwulf also agrees that I’m a genius. And he’s a self-pronounced ‘geek’ and as we have all learned from revenge of the nerds, they know a LOT of stuff.
“If anything, the only moon which is not a moon would be Charon. Charon does not technically orbit Pluto, because both Charon and Pluto orbit a barycenter that lies outside either body, which would technically make it a binary (dwarf) planet-system, like the one Lunaroki is (falsely) suggesting the Earth and the Moon are.”
Again Lazerwulf is true. They did determine that Charon is not a moon, but is instead a type of dual planet system (though now it’s technically a dwarf planet/plutoid orbit, since 4 of the former ‘dwarf planets’ are now considered plutoids instead- Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris. Ceres is still just considered either a ‘dwarf planet’ or a moon (depending on the IAU’s next pow wow).
Jessica: “I’ll admit to being impressed if you promise never to call yourself “the Pan-Man†again.”
What about El Luchador Panderino?
“Odd, this is different from the goal stated by Bill M. But I read both of those statements on the internet…”
Bill M unfortunately comes under a rare exception to that rule, becaus he is a 33 year old virgin. It’s under internet law that you can’t say what women want if you ar a virgin. Hey I didn’t make it up, and I think Bill M has potential, but he’s just fallen into an internet is always right exception.
“What on earth is a monokini?”
In the interests of knowledge, I have catalogued a sample of that glorious swimsuit known as the monokini.
Because I want people to be knowledgeable, not because I wanted an excuse to find links to pictures of hot babes in skimpy swimsuits.
“*sigh* Guess I did set that one up awfully nicely for you.”
Yes. Yes you did.
“How about I deliberately misunderstand and suggest you keep me warm by buying me a really nice coat?”
It ‘buying you a nice coat’ slang for some sort of sexual euphamism I’m not familiar with? Because if so I’m in.
“I think I’d have to go with Caitlin Fairchild since I find Superman (and therefore all of his relatives) incredibly boring.”
I’d call you a blasphemer for implying that supergirl is boring, except Fairchild’s the best of those three choices.
“But again, I think I’d get awfully cold in that outfit.”
Correct.
“That’s where the nice new coat comes in, I suppose.”
The coat would be itchy. Stay warm with friction instead.
“That was not an endearment. That was sarcastic sympathy.”
… aw muffin :/
““Please?†No.”
Pretty please with sugar on top?
““Aw cmon! pretty please? I’ll hold the vid cam.†Still no.”
Fine. I’ll get someone else to hold the vidcam and I’ll join in. Happy now? Sheesh.
See I’m always willing to go the extra mile.
“So I should let you tell me what to do instead?”
I’m a deity, it’s part of the job description.
“Hey Marzipan, if we ever DO have a catfight, let’s film it and then refuse to show it to him.”
Oh that is evil. You WOULD make a good lawyer.
“I don’t think it’s that epic. Seriously probably only funny to Canadians.”
Funny Canadian Group – Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie. Look em up. Funny and informative.
“We are pretty rad. Nathan Fillion is a Canadian.”
Yeah all you Canadian nay-sayers! Nathan Fillion!
Who’s Nathan Fillian?
“Supply, NOT merchandise.”
Merchandise implies I want to sell.
“Does it occur to you that you’re engaging in a debate about whether or not sailor scouts belong to true planets, when you were just making fun of a fellow for a discussion of the physics of golf ball velocities?”
I am nothing if not consistent in my inconsistency.
“You forgot to mention your modesty again.”
Yes I know. I’m just too perfect. If it wasn’t for my incredible modesty, I’d probably brag about it.
“Does Sailor Charon have a goatee?”
Oooh I wish I thought of saying that. Evil Universe Spock, Evil Universe Cartman…. evil Universe Sailor Pluto.
Jessica: “But isn’t there some sort of law which states that all evil twins must have goatees?”
Technically that’s only if they come from an evil alternate universe, despite what Order of the Stick’s Nale shows.
The Skrilla: “Technically, goatees do not signify “evil twins,†but rather “evil alternate dimension selves.—
True. OOTS is the primary exception to this.
“The thing that makes evil twins work is that they must be able to take the good twin’s place without anyone noticing, and thus be able to ruin the good twins reputation. (Like on Friends, when Ursula used Phoebe’s name in porn films.)”
Hrm… this DID happen on Order of the Stick. Maybe Nale’s origin is being from an alternate universe too.
I believe Ursula is also from an evil universe, as she was first on the TV show ‘Mad About You’ before ‘Friends’… which as we all know is pure evil.
Marzipan: “Sorry I didn’t TM, I forgot. And I don’t know how to do subscript.”
It’s just ™. In parentheses!
“Please don’t sue me. :/”
I dunno, I take my copyrights pretty seriously….
“I’ll put on a new and sexier negligee for you…”
Deal.
Wow this girl knows me so well.
“And I don’t hate Tool. I just don’t always love songs that last 15 frickin’ minutes, and I highly doubt that one band is the be-all and end-all of music.”
Tool(band)fan is currently foaming at the mouth I suspect.
“And just think of planets as God’s balls. Perveted astronomy thought accomplished. Haha, we’re on a sweaty, hairy ball of God.”
You are so deep!
Seriously, you’re like… reader’s digest deep. I am in awe now. Put on the negligee.
“Jessica: I don’t pull hair. I fight dirtier. >:D”
Ooooooh… fight! fight!
“That sounds great. Except I’d rather make love, not war.”
Rowr.
“But we should definitely not show him the film.”
Now that’s just wrong.
“If any Renoian tries to tell you that we don’t have Vegas envy, definitely don’t believe them.”
Heck I’m a New Yorker and even I have Vegas envy.
“Female twins should not have goatees, regardless of how evil they are. They should have magnificent bodies though, to make the good twin jealous and thus tip her into the path of evil.”
This is true. Remember Uhura didn’t have a goatee. Just a hot midriff-bearing outfit.
Because of you, my sister has now started watching Sailor Moon. Not only is she the worst hero ever, not even because it is so girly, but did you know Sailor Moon has the most annoying theme song in the history of theme songs? Just the same line over and over. And they don’t play, sign, hum, or run in the background, any other song throughout the whole series! GAH!!!
I’m sorry dude. That was rude and uncalled for. I was being an unnecessary dick, I have no reason or use to provoke you, and I genuinely regret it. I just flame war’d with you once and i’m bitter or some shit.
*looks at comments* Did some one try to steal my name? Oh well, that only proves how cool it is… any way, Love the comic and am a Big Sailor Moon Fan, or should I say Bishoujo Senshi Otakou?(did I even spell that right?) Love Y’all! Byes!
I had deleted this from my bookmarks when this comic ended, prepared to never see more, until I today stumbled upon a link, clearly hinting at new material. I’m glad to see this is moving along nicely.
Caity: And now I should really stop…although there are some other interesting changes that were made that would likely catch certain people’s interest
I think I know what your talking about D:
In the Englighed dub version Sailors Neptune and Uranus were just “really cousins” while in the Japanese dub… they were lovers! They just couldn’t keep up with all the lies! Espesialy when they’re holding hands XD
And thats why I watch the Japanese dub. They’re are no lies D:<
jmkool: “No you did not…”
You’re right. It never happened.
“Because of you, my sister has now started watching Sailor Moon.”
Bobby’s fiendish goal has been completed then. It’s the entire reason he started making the webcomic in the first place, I hear.
Some Guy: “I’m sorry dude.”
You’re forgiven.
Who are you?
“That was rude and uncalled for.”
True. What are we talking about here?
“I was being an unnecessary dick, I have no reason or use to provoke you, and I genuinely regret it.”
You absolutely were, and I’m glad you regret it. Please tell me who you are and what we are referring to? Seriously.
“I just flame war’d with you once and i’m bitter or some shit.”
It was truly an epic flame war that I don’t remember, but I forgive you for it.
Now please who are you?
“Best of luck, sorry again for being a dick.”
will someone please tell me who this guy is?
spider monkey: “*looks at comments* Did some one try to steal my name?”
Heh I actually thought that was you. I’ve had similar things with ‘Jon’ being confused for me. I took quick steps to preserve my cool identity.
“Love the comic and am a Big Sailor Moon Fan, or should I say Bishoujo Senshi Otakou?”
No, no you shouldn’t.
Hanna: “I think I know what your talking about D:
In the Englighed dub version Sailors Neptune and Uranus were just “really cousins†while in the Japanese dub… they were lovers! They just couldn’t keep up with all the lies!”
Maybe they were incestuous lovers? Why can’t everyone be right?
Tirinka: “Just from all the mindless banter bouncing back and forth, I’m pretty sure I want into this community.”
Welcome. Have some pie.
Jon Pander: “I took quick steps to preserve my cool identity.”
Luckily, nonsense names that mean nothing, like mine, don’t get taken or confused very often. Though I do get a lot of strange, inaccurate nicknames like ‘Tik’ or ‘Tri’ … Very annoying. :/
And yes, I think I will have some pie. Dankedanke.
Ps alreay been said I wanna hear ana’s story ^.^ hope you don’t mind me joining in on the conversation just bought these on my I pod good work gratz. ……. Ana’s story woot!!!!! “.”
Pander: What the hell do you mean, Evil Universe Cartman?? We HAVE Evil Universe Cartman! Somewhere there is a GOOD Cartman who sings soprano and strews flowers in the path of his friends!
(TM)? Oooh…
“Heck I’m a New Yorker and even I have Vegas envy.”
That’s all right, I’m sure Vegans– wait, that’s not a good nounification of Vegas– Las Vegans? Las Vegonians? I like that. I’m sure Las Vegonians wish they lived in a hick town in Kansas with a Population: 9 and one dog the dog died.
Welcome to the madness, Tirinka! That is a good name to keep from being mistaken for someone else, but it’s a pain to type.
gd1: That’s awesome!! Nice catch.
Ukimoni: “The randomity in this is too much that I can’t post now…um…Snickerdoodle!
…Sorry I’m not funny, I know.”
Actually, it was kinda. Made ME giggle. But that’s not hard. I think Pander is funny, too.
Skyofire: The next one will be out sometime between this friday and next year. If you wanted me to be specific.
Pull up a chair and join the forum. It’s how we entertain ourselves waiting for the next one.
Marzipan – I’m certainly not a Las Vegan. I eat meats. 8d Las Vegonian certainly suits me better.
Then again, when you’re originally from Ohio, can you really call yourself a Las Vegonian?
tool. not the best band ever. so not the best band the lead singer got bored and broke it up. huh. how bout that? oh well, on to things that might maybe not matter at all slightly more than the nothing that you keep spouting out.
Marzipan: “Pander: What the hell do you mean, Evil Universe Cartman?? We HAVE Evil Universe Cartman! Somewhere there is a GOOD Cartman who sings soprano and strews flowers in the path of his friends!”
Which makes him the Cartman from the Evil Universe, who happens to be good, while the Cartman in the Good Universe happens to be evil. He’s still Evil Universe Cartman. Just not ‘Evil Cartman from another Universe.’
“(TM)? Oooh…”
Yes, I take my trademarking very seriously.
“Las Vegans?”
Sounds like spanish ultra vegetarians.
“Las Vegonians?”
Sounds too much like the Vogons from Hitchhiker’s Guide.
O freddled gruntbuggly
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee
That mordiously hath bitled out its earted jurtles
Into a rancid festering…
“I’m sure Las Vegonians wish they lived in a hick town in Kansas with a Population: 9 and one dog the dog died.”
I think I saw that Twilight Zone episode. That kid was freaky scary, sending people and things to the cornfield like that.
“Actually, it was kinda. Made ME giggle. But that’s not hard. I think Pander is funny, too.”
You compliemented me and wound me at the same time. Impressive young padawan.
“It’s how we entertain ourselves waiting for the next one. ”
You’re welcome.
Tool(band)fan: “tool rules they are the best prog metal band ever”
1) There goes my theory that ‘Some Guy’ was Tool(band)fan.
2) what is ‘prog metal’? They’re too lame to be named after a real metal, is that it?
3) I heard Tool’s next album is them pushing a pig through a fence and recording the squeals. It’s supposed to be a lot better than their usual songs
4) It’s very apt that your favorite band is a ‘tool’.
5) Tool kicks puppies.
6) I hear that they almost made Tool the theme song for sailor moon, but censors determined that even Sailor moon deserved better.
“And who the hell cares about lyrics!?”
7) Obviously not tool. They also don’t seem to care about melody, their listeners ears, or their lack of musical ability. It’s funny but I have no idea what tool is, so I listened to it.
And it does indeed suck.
Tirinka: “Marzipan – I’m certainly not a Las Vegan. I eat meats.”
Haha. it’s funny because she thinks like me.
“Las Vegonian certainly suits me better.”
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustules
Are splurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts
And living glupules frat and slipulate
Like jowling meated liverslime
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t.
Fin.
Judas: “tool. not the best band ever. so not the best band the lead singer got bored and broke it up. huh. how bout that? oh well, on to things that might maybe not matter at all slightly more than the nothing that you keep spouting out.”
Good Me! Both Judas and Pander on the same side? I heard that’s one of the signs of Ragnarok or the apocalypse or something.
I now realize that it is a good thing I don’t remember enough of Hitchhiker’s Guide to be able to quite entirely understand what Pander is saying I am.
But hey. I’m cool with teh aliens. They have a pretty sweet gig.
(Including all the Jabberwocky-ish crap.)
Oh this is great. Probably my favorite page of this Parker Met Guy story EVER.
When I was little I used to watch Sailor Moon ALL the time….one night I got really sick and started having hallucinations. I thought I was Sailor Moon. No joke. My mom gets a kick out of telling the story today. haha!
Skyofire: Yeah, might do that eventually. And I never know when the next page will come out. Haven’t written it yet, so it’ll be at least a few days, maybe a week.
U know what jon pander obviously all u know about music is crap! Tool has the best complicated rythems, insane base lines, and progressive guitar riffs that have ever been made! Idk what crap you listen to but If you can’t appriciate music shut up!
Tirinka: “Then again, when you’re originally from Ohio, can you really call yourself a Las Vegonian?”
Well, I’m originally from L.A., but I still call myself a Renoid. Nice to see another Nevadan here though!
I dunno, I just like Las Vegonian because it sounds like another planet.
Judas– nice to hear from you again!
Pander: “Which makes him the Cartman from the Evil Universe, who happens to be good, while the Cartman in the Good Universe happens to be evil. He’s still Evil Universe Cartman. Just not ‘Evil Cartman from another Universe.’”
AAUUGH BRAIN SPLODE.
“Sounds too much like the Vogons from Hitchhiker’s Guide.”
Aha, THAT’S why I was thinking Vegonian sounded alien. Thank you!
And thanks for the poetry torture, too.
“You compliemented me and wound me at the same time. Impressive young padawan.”
Did I learn that one from you?
“what is ‘prog metal’? They’re too lame to be named after a real metal, is that it?”
I believe ‘prog’ is an abbreviation of the phrase ‘pissed-off frog,’ which is roughly what the band sounds like.
By the by, did anyone else think it’s funny that that guy had to specify that he was a Tool(BAND)fan because otherwise he’s a Toolfan and quite gay?
…I dunno. I giggled.
“Good Me! Both Judas and Pander on the same side? I heard that’s one of the signs of Ragnarok or the apocalypse or something.”
Well, I’m happy you guys are playing nice. I hated the feeling that I was supposed to be picking one shtick over another, considering they’re quite equivalent.
Skyofire: (nice name.) The only thing that concerns me about Ana’s story is how PG it will or won’t be. Poor Eisu to have to draw it!
I know isn’t it just ps thx alot for the complement you people are really nice well yea I get what you mean still I want to know ps thx bobby for responding it was really cool of ya well what do you guys wanna talk about futbol …… well yea can’t wait for the next page good story reminds me of please teacher
Tool(band)fan: U know what jon pander obviously all u know about music is crap! Tool has the best complicated rythems, insane base lines, and progressive guitar riffs that have ever been made! Idk what crap you listen to but If you can’t appriciate music shut up!
Translation: I’m a closed minded 12 year old.
Listen Tool if the general consensus is that Tool sucks. Guess what? It might just suck. Now you may be one of those people who actually like Tool…like some people still like The Backstreet Boys and that’s fine. You are aloud your own tastes. But you don’t need to immediately defend Tool like Chris Crocker…Okay I’m sorry I went too far. I shouldn’t insult Chris like that.
Now I haven’t heard of Tool nor their music so I’m not going to…well hold on I listen real quick…Okay yeah not my cup of tea…which usually has lesbians and/or bisexuals in it…It’s a big cup of tea…anywho, not my thing…which I’m not saying it’s bad…but…yeah it is. It might just be the genre itself…but yeah….Shut up, you’re annoying…and I think that sums up about everyone’s thoughts. If I missed something feel free to add.
…Ok now something funny….um…Pander cover me…please.
Heh. I’m still giggling over the poor little 8-year-old over there spelling prog wrong while he defends it.
I wouldn’t call him a 12-year-old because that’s a little too close to home. Myself being 13, that is.
Marzipan – Lulz, yeah, I noticed that too. Toooooolfaaaan! 8D
The only thing I’ve heard by Tool are the three songs they have on Guitar Hero World Tour. Now, I generally like GH’s setlists, however, and the fact that they have 3 songs in a single game, while other bands usually only get 1 (Downloadable Content not withstanding), might mean something, EXCEPT that their songs are ridiculously long and repetitive to play, so I think that Tool probably paid Activision a lot of money so that they would use their songs, and then required them to give them their own set in Career Mode, the stage for which doesn’t even show your band, just this creepy eye and a psychedelic light show.
I believe “prog rock” is short for “progressive rock,” which is ironic, since after playing those songs, my eardrums wanted to REress into the back of my skull.
Jon, do not try to recruit Tirinka into the Church or Pander. The lawsuits would cut into my profits.
I will respond to your longer post later, but for now…
Jon Pander: “Good Me! Both Judas and Pander on the same side? I heard that’s one of the signs of Ragnarok or the apocalypse or something.”
By “Good Me!” you wouldn’t by any chance mean “Good God!” would you? Bravo. That made me giggle in an impressed sort of way, “El Luchador Panderino.”
And if that (agreeing with Judas) is a sign of Ragnarok, do you think you could hurry that up so that it happens before my Old Icelandic final exam? Because I’m really not looking forward to it.
Marzipan, you’ll keep him in line while I’m away writing wretched exams, won’t you?
Oh, and Nathan Fillion plays Mal in Firefly. You said you were a fan, right? Every Firefly fan I know thinks Mal’s pretty awesome. (He also plays Captain Hammer, if you’ve seen Dr. Horrible.)
Tirinka: “I now realize that it is a good thing I don’t remember enough of Hitchhiker’s Guide to be able to quite entirely understand what Pander is saying I am.”
It’s Prosthetic Vogon Jeltz’s poetry which he reads to torture his victims.
RachieRoo: “When I was little I used to watch Sailor Moon ALL the time….one night I got really sick and started having hallucinations. I thought I was Sailor Moon. No joke. My mom gets a kick out of telling the story today. haha!”
Depending on if you’re a boy or girl, that story might be utterly hilarious.
Tool(band)fan: “U know what jon pander obviously all u know about music is crap!”
So you’re saying all I know about music is Tool? Ack.
“Tool has the best complicated rythems,”
Best alternative spelling also, apparently.
And yes, it’s very complicated to figure out if Tool has a rhythm – I agree.
“insane base lines,”
I agree. Their music does cater to the insane.
“and progressive guitar riffs”
Because when I hear them play, I call my insurance company thinking it qualifies as an accident where my ears have been ‘totalled’.
“Idk what crap you listen to”
Tenacious D, and re-runs of cartoon intros. Pinky and the Brain, WildCATS, Inspector Gadget and of course Sailor Moon
“but If you can’t appriciate music”
or spelling….
“shut up!”
If I don’t, will you try to send me one of their CDs as a torture method?
Marzipan: “Well, I’m originally from L.A., but I still call myself a Renoid.”
Is it bad that when I see the word ‘renoid’ I think ‘renal hemmorhoids?’
At least Renoan makes me think of Minoan, which makes me think Minotaur, which is cool-sounding.
“I dunno, I just like Las Vegonian because it sounds like another planet.”
Vogons.
“AAUUGH BRAIN SPLODE.”
I have a chart if you’d like. I can show it to you during the shower orgies.
“Aha, THAT’S why I was thinking Vegonian sounded alien. Thank you!
And thanks for the poetry torture, too.”
Yes. it’s quite nice isnt it?
“Did I learn that one from you?”
Probably.
“I believe ‘prog’ is an abbreviation of the phrase ‘pissed-off frog,’ which is roughly what the band sounds like.”
As well as what their #1 fan there is beginning to sound like.
“By the by, did anyone else think it’s funny that that guy had to specify that he was a Tool(BAND)fan because otherwise he’s a Toolfan and quite gay?”
I think everything about Tool(band)fan is hilarious. The ease of how one can insult him, his name, his questionable taste in what he considered, falsely, music, his latent urges…. everything.
“Well, I’m happy you guys are playing nice. I hated the feeling that I was supposed to be picking one shtick over another, considering they’re quite equivalent. ”
Oh believe me, my shtick is quite mighty – women faint at the sight of it in awe.
Tool(band)fan: “If u don’t know what prof metal is u must have no life”
Wait, wait. Prof metal or prog metal?
Ukimoni: “Translation: I’m a closed minded 12 year old.”
I salute you on the accuracy of your translation.
“Listen Tool if the general consensus is that Tool sucks. Guess what? It might just suck.”
Bring it on home, mah brotha/sista (never can tell with some names)
“Now you may be one of those people who actually like Tool…like some people still like The Backstreet Boys and that’s fine.”
He probably doesn’t know what Backstreet Boys is. He didn’t know who Barry Manilow was either.
“But you don’t need to immediately defend Tool like Chris Crocker”
HEY NOW!!!
“Okay I’m sorry I went too far. I shouldn’t insult Chris like that.”
Yeah… cmon now.
(Who’s Chris Crocker?)
“Now I haven’t heard of Tool nor their music so I’m not going to…well hold on I listen real quick…Okay yeah not my cup of tea…”
It’s more like a cup of rancid swill.
“which usually has lesbians and/or bisexuals in it…”
Okay you’re officially on my cool list.
“which I’m not saying it’s bad…but…yeah it is. It might just be the genre itself…but yeah….Shut up, you’re annoying…and I think that sums up about everyone’s thoughts.”
I almost feel like passing the torch, but I have too much fun with it.
“…Ok now something funny….um…Pander cover me…please.”
What do you get when you put seven Tool fans into a freezer?
Frosted Flakes.
I know, obviously that joke needs work. As if there are seven people in the world who actually like Tool.
Tirinka: “Heh. I’m still giggling over the poor little 8-year-old over there spelling prog wrong while he defends it.”
Maybe the type of metal IS prof metal.
Like um…. maybe heavy metal songs sung by college professors…
“I wouldn’t call him a 12-year-old because that’s a little too close to home. Myself being 13, that is.”
Dangit. I have to wait years to say any of my usual stuff to this one.
TheSkrilla: “The only thing I’ve heard by Tool are the three songs they have on Guitar Hero World Tour.”
It makes sense, since Tool only learned to play their instruments by using Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Unfortunately it doesn’t translate well to using ‘real’ instruments.
“EXCEPT that their songs are ridiculously long and repetitive to play,”
Tool songs are to Guitar Hero what ‘repetitive grinding’ is to an MMORPG.
And everyone hates both.
“I believe “prog rock†is short for “progressive rock,†which is ironic, since after playing those songs, my eardrums wanted to REress into the back of my skull.”
Maybe it’s progressively horrible rock?
Each song gets worse?
Jessica: “Jon, do not try to recruit Tirinka into the Church or Pander. The lawsuits would cut into my profits.”
I know, dangit…. and she seems pretty cool too, but I’d have to wait a few years.
“By “Good Me!†you wouldn’t by any chance mean “Good God!†would you?”
Obviously.
” Bravo. That made me giggle in an impressed sort of way, “El Luchador Panderino.†”
Many women are impressed by the doings of El Luchador Panderino, my little chiquita.
“Marzipan, you’ll keep him in line while I’m away writing wretched exams, won’t you?”
She’ll probably keep part of me in line, at least.
“Oh, and Nathan Fillion plays Mal in Firefly. You said you were a fan, right?”
Yeah, but with male actors, I rarely bother to learn their real names.
Tirinka: “I wouldn’t call him a 12-year-old because that’s a little too close to home. Myself being 13, that is.
Oh sorry. My first guess was 8 but I’ve heard older kids act and talk like that so…yeah.”
Jon Pander: “I salute you on the accuracy of your translation.”
That course in Ignorancy really payed off.
“Bring it on home, mah brotha/sista (never can tell with some names)”
Brotha.
“He probably doesn’t know what Backstreet Boys is. He didn’t know who Barry Manilow was either.”
That is a very good point.
I think it’s official that jon pander has no life because he seems to post at least 1 2-hour long post a day and he honestly thinks his comebacks are good. And that’s something I’d call proof
Toolfan – A.) Congrats on capitalizing a post! 8D
B.) 2 hours? You must type very slow if you think that. Have you taken computer class yet?
C.) Who are you to say someone has no life when you’re fighting, online, with people you don’t know, over a band that no one except you really cares about – not to mention you post at least twice a day.
Also – eventually, you’re going to grow out of your love of this band. Why take so much time trying to defend it while ruining your reputation and embarrassing yourself?
Oh shoot. I just spent precious moments of my time talking to a brick wall. ;n;
Hahaha …. Why are you guys fighting over nothing, wut eves it entertating nvm keep going * pull up a chair with pop corn and foom fingure* woot let’s get this started
For 1 thing it’s impossible to embarrass yourself online, I know I’ve tried and I’m not ruining my reputation because I could change my profile and no 1 would know it’s me and appearently people do care about the subject or every1 would stop talking about immediatly
Jessica says: “You mean the fact that I say so isn’t reason enough? *pout*”
It’s reason enough, but Alyson Hannigan is also reason enough. She’s the reason I catch “How I Met Your Mother” every now and then.
Jon Pander says: “All men want to see two hot babes in a catfight. Because then there’s the possibility of clothing tear-age. And the slim possibility that they might start making out.”
You forgot the potentials of wet clothing if the fight is near the ocean or a public fountain, and in more intimate settings, that once they start making out, they allow men to join in.
“You sound like a Nietzchian. I’m calling in Kevin Zorbo to deal with you.”
Dude, f**k Nietzche. I’m one of those Judeo-Christian right-wing extremists that Janet Napolitano warns sheriffs about. I believe that there is a God, that there was a Noah, and that he told all creation to be fruitful and multiply, and that is an imperative for pregnancy.
“Bill M unfortunately comes under a rare exception to that rule, because he is a 33 year old virgin.”
32…
Marzipan says: “Whew! I’ve never heard of the Arrogant Worms.”
I’ve only heard two of their songs, “Carrot Juice is Murder” and “A Man Has Needs” but they are funny.
“And I agree with Bill M., Alyson is the rad. Yay redheads. ”
Excellent! It’s too bad Pianoman’s Redhead Gallery went the way of the dodo… he had an awesome site devoted to redheaded beauties.
Jessica says:”Odd, this is different from the goal stated by Bill M. But I read both of those statements on the internet…”
They are not different, one is the ultimate goal, one is a desire which can lead in a roundabout way to the ultimate goal.
“What on earth is a monokini?”
Ever hear of Borat? On women, monokinis just have to make sure the long straps also cover the nipples to be legal at non-topless/non-nude beaches/swimming pools.
“But isn’t there some sort of law which states that all evil twins must have goatees?”
It’s more of “distinguishing characteristic”, like a scar, facial hair, or eyepatch. Star Trek used a goatee for Alt. Universe Spock, scar for that one guy who kept switching back and forth with his antimatter self, and Doctor Who used an eyepatch for the Alt. Universe Brigadeer.
And finally, to the whole Tool debacle, I’ve only ever heard one Tool song, when their music was playing on MTV (for some of you, they originally called it Music TeleVision because they actually played music on it) and I don’t remember a single lyric or chord, but I remember the video because quite frankly it was some domo-like creature with a furnace in his chest that sold off the rainbow glow to make money, but in the end, his life ended up as gray as everyone elses. I don’t hate Tool, but I don’t like them either. I’m indifferent towards them.
Tool:”appearently people do care about the subject or every1 would stop talking about immediatly.”
No it’s just funny watching you defend Tool so fervently. And I have to say this is the first time you have actually used logic in your argument. Good job. You get a fake cookie. Now let’s work on using that more often and also lets try to use some grammar and spelling. Then people might see your side…except Tool will suck. So I’m afraid you won’t win this argument but you can learn from it…hopefully…maybe…possibly…you probably won’t.
Anyway let’s talk about something else…um…look a distraction!
Jessica: “Marzipan, you’ll keep him in line while I’m away writing wretched exams, won’t you?”
In my D&D group (AUGHT I have confessed my nerddom!) one of the characters plays a nine-foot-tall ogre with the strength of ten elephants and the mind of a three year old. I often play the hapless gnome clinging mightily to his loincloth (ew) as he rampages happily doing whatever he wants and causing loads of damage and problems for the rest of us in the process.
… It’s actually rather entertaining.
Anyways, that is what I would imagine “keeping Pander in line” would be like without you.
Plus, I have finals coming up, too. And I guess I should act like I care about my grades even though it’s my last semester and I haven’t learned ANYTHING new in five months.
Oh, crap! I do love Mal. I just don’t keep track of actor names. Nathan Fillion, huh? He’s been in a couple things since then, and we always cheer and go “Mal!” whenever we see his grim lil’ face.
Judas: “For being unemployed I find myself exceptionally busy.”
I’ve noticed how that happens. When you’re unemployed everyone assumes that you have nothing better to do and so assigns you all their errands. I know I do that to my brother ever six months or so when he becomes unemployed.
Just let us know when you leave leave, k? (Army, right?) Cause we’ll need to throw you a good-bye orgy.
Pander: “Depending on if you’re a boy or girl, that story might be utterly hilarious.”
With a name like RachieRoo, I think if that’s a boy being Sailor Moon is the least of his problems. The most of them is the fact that his name is RACHEL.
My boyfriend would love you further for loving Tenacious D. *sigh* STOP BEING LIKE MY BOYFRIEND.
…it’s creepy.
“Is it bad that when I see the word ‘renoid’ I think ‘renal hemmorhoids?’”
Probably not, considering most Renoids, but I think I’d better think of a new word when referring to myself. Renoian? Renoan would work too.
You know, I almost feel bad for making fun of the Tool, ganging up and all, but he’s (I’m assuing it’s a him) just so goddamn annoying. It’s quite amazing, but you’ll find my blood pressure unexpectedly spikes when reading his posts and yours (Pander)– and yours only because blood pressure spikes during laughter.
Teehee, prof metal– I can just see old nerds at the lectern, drawing on the blackboard… headbanging.
Tirinka: “Myself being 13, that is.”
It’s kind of a first for me to feel ancient, but… thank you Internets!
(22, baby.)
“It’s fire, of course you have fun with it.”
Actually, honey, the fire isn’t the real reason Pander loves the torch… but his love of the torch might be why the fire is THERE.
Bill M.:”Excellent! It’s too bad Pianoman’s Redhead Gallery went the way of the dodo… he had an awesome site devoted to redheaded beauties.”
Aw, man! I would love a site like that!
“(for some of you, they originally called it Music TeleVision because they actually played music on it)”
Weren’t those the days? When there was something else besides YouTube for watching music videos, and you sometimes got to see artists you’d never heard of but really like?
End rant. It just makes me sad.
Tool: “U people only dislike tool because they are not that crap on the radio known as mainstream music”
What a wonderful double standard you have. You hate it when people say you’re band is bad but you’ll turn around and call almost all other music crap…wonderful. And I do like other music besides mainstream. In fact, I don’t like a lot of what is now mainstream. Just accept the fact that Tool may not be as great as you think they are…
Ok I’m done…unless he says something really ignorant that pisses me off. Then I will combat with logic! But until then let us talk about vampire lesbians. All for say “Aye”. All against say “Nay”…and then get shot at…with a rocket launcher.
Toolfan – And you completely ignore that you’re going to grow out of it. Now, let me go listen to some of it…
Okay, it’s not the worst stuff. The guitar work’s fine, but man… I could do without the vocals… And it’s a little too repetitive for me. :/
Anyway – Everyone has their own tastes in music. Let’s not get too upset over all of this.
Other than that – I, personally, do get embarrassed online, but hey, I use the same username over and over and I’m a girl, so… Anyway, yeah. That’s pretty much it.
Tool(band)fan: When are you gonna realize that they’re not mocking Tool just because they think the band sucks? I mean, if we were to talk about which bands suck and which do not, there are a TON of bands that spring to mind. The only reason Tool is being singled out is because you are so adamant about defending them, and they’re egging you on in hopes that you’ll say something internetarded, and you keep obliging them.
Look, not everyone is going to share your opinion about Tool. Trying to force that opinion down our throats, or lashing out at people because they don’t share your taste in music is only adding fuel to this flame war.
Yes, you could come back with a different screen name and, if you did it right, we’d never know it was you. if I were you, I’d seriously think of doing that right now. If you do decide to change your name, don’t slip up by acting the same way you did as Tool(band)fan.
Hi there. Amazing comic read it all in one. You have vreated amazing bunch of interesing characters and the art is just stunnig. And of course Parker is the best
Keep up the good work
Joe
Hmm maybe I will change my screen name just to mess with you guys but not now and on the subject of growing out of tool that’s not happening at least not before I grow out of commenting here
Marzipan – Army, yes. Finally made it through all the paperwork and holdups; swore in on Monday. Both my recruiter and myself (along with some of the MEPS personnel) found a certain amusement to swearing into the army on 4/20. I ship to Fort Benning August 25 for BCT and Fort Gordon November 9 for AIT. Which means I have roughly four months to get my sorry old ass back in shape. Hurray for 2 mile runs at 0500.
Tool – Stop. Just stop. You don’t have the capability to properly ‘defend’ a band that doesn’t exist. Nor do you have the brains to change your name and ‘attempt’ to ‘mess with us’ without us knowing exactly who you are. And Ukimoni’s right, you need to practice spelling and grammar. I know those are hard subjects for children, but pay attention, they’ll benefit you in the long run. And a tip: if you see a little red line under a word you’re typing into the comments field, it means it’s spelled wrong. open up dictionary.com and find out how to spell it properly.
Y would any1 care about spelling this is online spelling and Grammer rules don’t apply here and I could definetly change my screen name and pretend to be someone else I might be doing it right now but just switching back and forth and no1 would ever know
Actually they do apply. You just choose not to abide by them, which makes you appear to be no more than a juvenile moron. Oh wait, you are. Damn, my mistake. Please continue to spout your crap about a non-existent band that no one here seems to care about at all, and further convince us all of your stupidity.
I could talk using good grammer but I’m going to do that when I change my user name and what the heck are you talking about when you say non existant band?
My posts are becoming Pander-long… I’ll make em shorter.
Ukimoni– I’m not so big on the vampire lesbians, since I don’t think anemia is terribly sexy, but I agree, we should go back to sexier topics. Shower orgy?
Judas– My brother-in-law is also doing the daily runs, to prepare for the police force. We sip tea on the porch and laugh at him.
Actually, I lie– we don’t have a porch. The rest is true.
Well, we’ll enjoy you up til August. The nice part for me is you’ll be able to wish me happy birthday before you leave.
Skyofire– “What am I shrip fried rice y does no one want to replay to me……….”
Sorry… I just reply to things when I can think of something witty to say back. :\ And what’s wrong with shrimp fried rice? I love it.
Tirinka: “… My soul weeps for our language. ;n;
… Oh! Sorry. Was that my English-major side talking? ^ ^;;”
*high five*
Tool(band)fan: “I think it’s official that jon pander has no life”
I think we found Systemz’s long lost brother…
“because he seems to post at least 1 2-hour long post a day and he honestly thinks his comebacks are good.”
If I have no life, does that mean I’m going to have to start listening to Tool? Noooooo!
Tirinka: “Toolfan – A.) Congrats on capitalizing a post! 8D”
Aside from my name, apparently
“B.) 2 hours? You must type very slow if you think that. Have you taken computer class yet?”
He doesn’t believe in computers. Tool teaches their followers that computers are unimportant, as are rhythm, musical ability, good hygeine and spelling proficiency.
“C.) Who are you to say someone has no life when you’re fighting, online, with people you don’t know, over a band that no one except you really cares about – not to mention you post at least twice a day.”
Please don’t compare his posts to mine. It’s like having Chuck Norris in a fight with Clumsy Smurf.
” Why take so much time trying to defend it while ruining your reputation and embarrassing yourself?”
It’s not his fault. The reason Tool songs suck is they’re meant to be played backwards, which is where the subliminal suggestions come in.
Skyofire: “Hahaha …. Why are you guys fighting over nothing, wut eves it entertating nvm keep going * pull up a chair with pop corn and foom fingure* woot let’s get this started ”
I hear that Tool band membes kick a puppy until it’s in a coma before each concert.
Tool(band)fan: “For 1 thing it’s impossible to embarrass yourself online,”
Doesn’t seem like it…
“I know I’ve tried”
You’re succeeding.
“and I’m not ruining my reputation because I could change my profile”
Would you be something like ‘SuckyBandFan’ next?
” and no 1 would know it’s me”
Truly you would be the master of disguise until you start ranting again.
I hear that’s how Ninjas get started.
” and appearently people do care about the subject or every1 would stop talking about immediatly”
Actually I talk about it because I have a bet going as to how many spelling errors you will make. I’ve got money riding on this, bucko.
BIll M: “Dude, f**k Nietzche. I’m one of those Judeo-Christian right-wing extremists that Janet Napolitano warns sheriffs about.”
Sorta was talking about the Sci fi show Andromeda.
“I believe that there is a God,”
*wave* Hi
““Bill M unfortunately comes under a rare exception to that rule, because he is a 33 year old virgin.†32…”
I gave you an extra one for luck.
Marzipan: “Ever hear of Borat?”
Please no, I have nightmares about scenes from that.
“On women, monokinis just have to make sure the long straps also cover the nipples to be legal at non-topless/non-nude beaches/swimming pools.”
Me bless the inventor of the monokini
Ukimoni: “No it’s just funny watching you defend Tool so fervently.”
And hilarity ensues.
Tool(band)fan: “U people only dislike tool because they are not that crap on the radio known as mainstream music”
Or perhaps because they suck.
Marzipan: “Anyways, that is what I would imagine “keeping Pander in line†would be like without you. ”
You gals have done an excellent job of ‘keeping pander in line’ so far.
“With a name like RachieRoo, I think if that’s a boy being Sailor Moon is the least of his problems. The most of them is the fact that his name is RACHEL. ”
I don’t assume such things until they tell me so.
“My boyfriend would love you further for loving Tenacious D. *sigh* STOP BEING LIKE MY BOYFRIEND.”
Nah.
“…it’s creepy.”
You wuv me.
“I almost feel bad for making fun of the Tool, ganging up and all,”
Oh cmon. He named himself ‘Tool’ He was asking for it.
“Teehee, prof metal– I can just see old nerds at the lectern, drawing on the blackboard… headbanging. ”
I can picture albert einstein on electric guitar doin the funk.
“Actually, honey, the fire isn’t the real reason Pander loves the torch… but his love of the torch might be why the fire is THERE.”
Do I even have to make a pun about ‘flames’?
Ukimoni: “Just accept the fact that Tool may not be as great as you think they are…”
I just heard that the head singer of Tool might be dead. His larynx and fingers felt the need to rip themselves ou of his body and run off in order to prevent any more Tool songs.
“Ok I’m done…unless he says something really ignorant that pisses me off. Then I will combat with logic! But until then let us talk about vampire lesbians.”
Sounds logical to me
Tirinka: “I could do without the vocals… And it’s a little too repetitive for me. :/”
It’s like metal elvator muzak, as song by a hypoglycemic tapir.
CanYouGuessWhoIAm?: “Tool(band)fan: When are you gonna realize that they’re not mocking Tool just because they think the band sucks?”
Shhhh! don’t tell him!
“I mean, if we were to talk about which bands suck and which do not, there are a TON of bands that spring to mind.”
Like Tool.
“and they’re egging you on in hopes that you’ll say something internetarded, and you keep obliging them.”
That’s my new favorite word. Internetarded. That could be Tool’s next big hit!
Tool(band)fan: “Hmm maybe I will change my screen name just to mess with you guys but not now and on the subject of growing out of tool that’s not happening at least not before I grow out of commenting here’
Okay his brain’s turned to tapioca now. Anyone know what he just said?
Judas: “Tool – Stop. Just stop.”
I hear that even though there’s an infinite amount of possible quantum universes, there’s none in which Tool does not suck. True fact – it’s quantum physics.
“And a tip: if you see a little red line under a word you’re typing into the comments field, it means it’s spelled wrong. open up dictionary.com and find out how to spell it properly.”
Judas are you -trying- to ruin my fun with him?
Oh good, he’s too stubborn to listen. Glee!
Tool(band)fan: “Y would any1 care about spelling this is online spelling and Grammer rules don’t apply here and I could definetly change my screen name and pretend to be someone else I might be doing it right now but just switching back and forth and no1 would ever know”
Sadly I think this line of his made more sense than most Tool songs.
Tool(band)fan: “I could talk using good grammer”
But under no circumstances use good spelling.
“but I’m going to do that when I change my user name”
How lon is it going to take you to do that ‘name change’ thing?
“and what the heck are you talking about when you say non existant band?”
Okay time to come clean… There…. is no band named Tool. It was all a dream. A horrible, horrible dream. We’ve been humoring you.
Marzipan: “My posts are becoming Pander-long”
Too easy. She put my name, the word long and the word post in the same sentence. No challenge there.
“On women, monokinis just have to make sure the long straps also cover the nipples to be legal at non-topless/non-nude beaches/swimming pools.â€
Me bless the inventor of the monokini
I came to see what others thought was gonna happen but instead i see a pointless discussion about some band called tool and some fan who can’t stand to see other people dislike it. can we stop chatting and comment on the comic? if you wanna argue, exchange IMs or something.
anyway, great comic, can’t wait for the next page. Guy is really cute in this one, very endearing ^_^
It is impossible to embarass yourself online because u people will never be able to contact me if I stop posting and just so you know I already am switching user names back and forth and you’ll never figure it out
Tool(band)fan: “It is impossible to embarass yourself online”
You, as a person, might not be embarrassed, but your screen name’s reputation can be ruined. Whenever you post as Tool(band)fan, nobody takes you seriously. And, if you make a new name, if it ever gets linked to your old one, that name’s reputation is ruined by association.
“because u people will never be able to contact me if I stop posting”
Yeah, umm, when’s that gonna happen?
“and just so you know I already am switching user names back and forth and you’ll never figure it out”
Unless you make a mistake, like telling us you’ve already been switching user names. In fact, I’m gonna guess that you’re Skyofire. 1) The two of you have remarkably similar spelling and grammar issues. 2) Almost all of Skyofire’s posts have come immediately before, after, or within 30 minutes of one of Tool(band)fan’s posts.
Pander: ‘Marzipan: “Ever hear of Borat?â€
Please no, I have nightmares about scenes from that.’
Stop crediting the wrong things to me! Bill M. said that. I’ve never even seen Borat.
“Do I even have to make a pun about ‘flames’?”
As in ‘flaming’? Are you confessing something?
Internetarded. Hee.
Although I would like to comment, CanYouGuessWhoIAm? showed up RIGHT after the Tool started ranting about his new secret identity. Coincidence? Probably not. Quit talking to yourself.
And I’ll be happy to shorten your ‘posts’ for you. >:D
Sierra Monroe: “Because its all about the sweet and sour.”
It’s true. Especially when covering crab wonton. Mmm. Anyone wanna feed me Chinese food?
Jessica: “It’s called dissociative identity disorder.”
YESSS. SOMEONE besides psych major nerds knows that!! Very exciting.
My boyfriend even nicknamed himself MPD, years ago, and won’t change it. He’s ruining my badass psych rep.
So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction. 1) More Whipped Cream. 2)Cherries…whole cherries. 3) It has “Cream” in the name. 4) It involves white stuff. 5) It does involve Tool. No! Bad Uki! Don’t feed the troll. Anyway, Yeah I propose this.
Jon Pander says: “Sorta was talking about the Sci fi show Andromeda.”
Ah, my bad. I usually had to work when that show was on, and I’d really been burned-out by other Roddenberry shows that his wife Majel had pushed from idea-book to production since his death.
Marzipan says: “Especially when covering crab wonton. Mmm. Anyone wanna feed me Chinese food? ”
Okay. *runs and abducts Iron Chef Chen Kenichi & makes him cook* This might take a while, I’ll bring the food when it’s done.
Ukimoni says: “So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction. 1) More Whipped Cream. 2)Cherries…whole cherries. 3) It has “Cream†in the name. 4) It involves white stuff.”
Mmm, floats, sprinkles, naughty arrangements of ice cream… good stuff.
Guitar Guy says: “When I asked someone to change the subject, I didn’t mean to change it to ice cream!”
Specifics, man. If you want to us to discuss the discus, ponder Pander, contemplate pin-up templates, or wax nostalgic about the Marry Me / Sore Thumbs crossover, you need to let us know, or we’ll degenerate into our usual discussions over the kinkiness & perverse.
Besides, ice cream is so awesome, people drive around in trucks to sell it to you, what other treat gets driven to you when you might want it?
Leah – Not mentioning the brownie points you’re getting for admiring Pander, I’m pretty sure as soon as you say you’re anything close to lesbian you’re instantly accepted.
I’ve been following the conversation and I have to admit, it’s one of the funnier ones, if not the funniest I’ve read on the Internet. Don’t know why I felt a need to post that; I succumb to random impulses way too easily…
Anyways, great job on the comic, Bobby. I can’t wait to see what the next page will bring.
Ukimoni: I like your list. Except it needs hot fudge (not burning hot, just warm and gooey and lickable.)
“And thus further proof that Bobby is awesome…as if it wasn’t obvious enough.”
Yes, thank you Bobby. Although I feel bad, you’re busy enough without needing to moderate.
Bill M.: “Okay. *runs and abducts Iron Chef Chen Kenichi & makes him cook* This might take a while, I’ll bring the food when it’s done.”
Oooh, Iron Chef. The REAL Iron Chef. Happy Marzipan. Could you abduct Morimoto and make him make me sushi?
And you get major literary points for “discuss the discus, ponder Pander…” Alliteration: awesome.
“Besides, ice cream is so awesome, people drive around in trucks to sell it to you, what other treat gets driven to you when you might want it?”
Pizza.
And Chinese.
I got a cute guy delivering me top-notch Chinese as we speak.
Leah, you’re in. Just for being bi, but Pander will love the suckuppage. Come spoon me some hot fudge.
Thanks for the props, Poru. Glad to know we’re not horribly irritating all lurkers for our not-terribly-MM-related conversation.
So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction. 1) More Whipped Cream. 2)Cherries…whole cherries. 3) It has “Cream†in the name. 4) It involves white stuff. 5) It does involve Tool. No! Bad Uki! Don’t feed the troll. Anyway, Yeah I propose this.
Marzipan says: “Oooh, Iron Chef. The REAL Iron Chef. Happy Marzipan. Could you abduct Morimoto and make him make me sushi?”
Morimoto’s giving me the slip. I can abduct Michiba and make sure he makes his notorious “broth of vigor”, though, if that will do…
“And you get major literary points for “discuss the discus, ponder Pander…†Alliteration: awesome. ”
Yes, it is vigorous to maintain a vast and varied vocabulary, without becoming vapid, for someone as verecund as myself.
It’s part of a throwback to before I understood the true meaning of “if you want to be happy in a relationship, you need to be a cunning linguist.”
“Bill: ‘Besides, ice cream is so awesome, people drive around in trucks to sell it to you, what other treat gets driven to you when you might want it? ‘
Pizza.
And Chinese.”
I forgot about pizza. Chinese is more hit or miss as to whether it’s available locally for delivery. The places here in town offer pick-up, but no delivery.
“I got a cute guy delivering me top-notch Chinese as we speak. ”
Thanks. The last time I was called cute, I was hanging Snoopy ornaments on Christmas trees.
Tool(band)fan: “It is impossible to embarass yourself online because u people will never be able to contact me if I stop posting and just so you know I already am switching user names back and forth and you’ll never figure it out”
All this and still a master of the run on sentence folks!
Btw, tool sucks.
CanYouGuessWhoIAm?:
“but your screen name’s reputation can be ruined.”
I think it was ruined as soon as he started claiming to be a Tool fan.
Tool(band)fan: “Your wrong but nice try but you won’t figure it out because I have multiple personalities”
You know, sometime when I read Toolfan’s post, I pretend it’s in the sound of an anime character, and I insert ‘HAHA!’ into every second or third word. It’s hilarious.
Your wrong haha! but nice try haha! but you won’t haha! figure it out haha! because I haha! have multple personalities haha!
Guitar guy: “Why won’t anyone change the subject?”
Because Tool sucks.
Marzipan: “As in ‘flaming’? Are you confessing something? ”
I mean as to how I attract flame wars from people like Toolfan…
“Internetarded. Hee.”
Yes, I like that word.
“And I’ll be happy to shorten your ‘posts’ for you. >:D”
Ouch. No, you can extend them instead.
Tool(band)fan: “I wouldent (haha!) call it (haha!) a secret identety (haha! I can’t spell! haha!) but more like (haha!) something to keep (haha!) from being board (haha! Truly I can’t spell! Haha!) but I (haha!) am not canyouguesswhoiam (haha!) that would be (haha!) way to obvious (haha!)”
Ukimoni: “So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction.”
Genius. Plus it means cold air, which is good for the babes.
“1) More Whipped Cream.”
rowr.
“2)Cherries…whole cherries.”
pop.
“3) It has “Cream†in the name.”
Rowr.
“4) It involves white stuff.”
Eventually anything in the church of pander does.
Ukimoni: “Aaaaand Tool is Guitar guy.”
Duh.
Bobby:”Obviously, and banned.”
I can still make fun of him now even though he’s banned, right?
Tool sucks nyaaaah hah!
Ukimoni: “And thus further proof that Bobby is awesome…as if it wasn’t obvious enough.”
He already proved it to me when he had his picture taken with girls in supergirl and wonder woman cosplay.
Leah: “I’ve been reading all these posts and I wanna join in on the fun! I’m female, i don’t like tool, I enjoy Marry Me, and I’m bisexual. Am I allowed?”
Yes you are, my dear. Put on the T-shirt while I get the hose and let the drenching commence. Then there is of course the matter of the private interview and the initial shower orgy. You came at an excellent time.
In fact, everyone in the Church of Pander comes for an excellent time.
“PS Oh and I think Jon Pander is incredible”
I like this one. She’s observant.
Tirinka: “Pander, I’m pretty sure as soon as you say you’re anything close to lesbian you’re instantly accepted.”
This is true.
RachieRoo: “Curse me and me being a girl. X3″
Fine. As punishment you must get into the shower. You may choose your wardrobe – the choices are bikini, monokini, wet t-shirt, skimpy lingerie, supergirl outfit, or, the ever popular naked.
Poru: “I succumb to random impulses way too easily…”
Succumbing to random impulses is my raison d’etre.
Marzipan: “And you get major literary points for “discuss the discus, ponder Pander…â€
I like anything which involves talking about me.
“Leah, you’re in. Just for being bi, but Pander will love the suckuppage. ”
Yes, she will be doing much suckuppage.
Sierra Monroe: “Bob dole seconds this motion. So does Sierra.”
I loved that commercial with Britney Spears and Bob Dole
Bill M. “The last time I was called cute, I was hanging Snoopy ornaments on Christmas treesâ€
The last time I was called cute I was jumping up and down with a spoonful of pasta. Creepy old men are straaaaange
Pander “Yes you are, my dear. Put on the T-shirt while I get the hose and let the drenching commence. “
Is said t-shirt white? Cause it’s no fun otherwise
“Then there is of course the matter of the private interview and the initial shower orgy.â€
And where does the interview take place? I vote for a fluffy bed. Fluffy things are fun
Leah: “I knew the suckuppage wasn’t needed but it seemed important.
*spoons Marzipan some hot fudge* I made it myself? Would you like some ice cream too?
Is your ice cream homemade too? Either way, yes please!
And suckuppage is DEFINITELY necessary, here. So you know.
Bill M.: “Morimoto’s giving me the slip. I can abduct Michiba and make sure he makes his notorious “broth of vigorâ€, though, if that will do…”
Ooh, I can live with your vigorous broth. Sounds like a good lunch for me.
“Yes, it is vigorous to maintain a vast and varied vocabulary, without becoming vapid, for someone as verecund as myself.”
Now you’re just stealing from V. Watch it. Guy Fawkes masks are scary.
“It’s part of a throwback to before I understood the true meaning of “if you want to be happy in a relationship, you need to be a cunning linguist.—
Please tell me that after you learned how to be a cunning linguist, you learned how to be a… cunning linguist.
“Thanks. The last time I was called cute, I was hanging Snoopy ornaments on Christmas trees.”
I’m gonna go kick Lucy’s ass if she was trying to take Bill off the market.
Oh, and the last time I was called cute, I was ranting about fricking-Miley-fricking-Cyrus. About ten seconds ago.
Pander, I do love the idea of Tool as obnoxious anime enemy. Haha!
…There was a commercial with Britney and Dole? Glad I missed that one.
Mandi: Oooooh… caramel. Never thought of it. I think it’s often overlooked for its orgy potential because of the car-mel vs. care-a-mel arguments. And arguments just aren’t sexy. But the advantage of the Internet is it doesn’t matter!
Marzipan: “Mandi: Oooooh… caramel. Never thought of it. I think it’s often overlooked for its orgy potential because of the car-mel vs. care-a-mel arguments. And arguments just aren’t sexy.”
I feel like I have to disagree with you there. Arguments can be incredibly sexy, so long as they involve the removal of clothing and angry make-up sex afterward. Or make-up orgies, I suppose, depending on how many people take part in said argument.
Mandi: “1. Thanks to Bobby for getting rid of an idiot (Don’t make fun of my phrasing Pander i’m from Pittsburgh)”
For me to make fun of you, you’d have to say something dumb. What you said is merely observant of the situation.
“2. Don’t forget about the Caramel sauce.”
And even if you had said something worth making fun of, this sentence would have made me forgiven you.
Leah: “Is said t-shirt white? Cause it’s no fun otherwise”
Hey I’m no amateur at this. Of course it’s white.
Put on the T-shirt.
“And where does the interview take place?”
A fluffy bed.
“I vote for a fluffy bed.”
How fortuitous!
“Fluffy things are fun”
I have no problems with you being the fluffer girl.
Mandi: “Ohh yeah, you’ll fint in here fine”
I know! Won’t she!?
I love this gig.
Marzipan: “And suckuppage is DEFINITELY necessary, here. So you know.”
It scores bonus points.
“Oh, and the last time I was called cute, I was ranting about fricking-Miley-fricking-Cyrus. About ten seconds ago.”
Aw that’s so cute.
“Pander, I do love the idea of Tool as obnoxious anime enemy. Haha!”
Haha! Yes he seems haha! to have met haha! his match! haha!
“There was a commercial with Britney and Dole? Glad I missed that one.”
Superbowl commercial for Pepsi.
Pay attention to the last few seconds of the commercial. Priceless.
Makes me want to actually vote for the guy.
Charmaine: â€I feel like I have to disagree with you there. Arguments can be incredibly sexy, so long as they involve the removal of clothing and angry make-up sex afterward.”
Yes. Catfights can be quite sexy because of the potential for clothing rippage. And the fact that there’s the potential that, amidst the fighting… they might start spontaneously making out.
” Or make-up orgies, I suppose, depending on how many people take part in said argument.”
She makes an excellent second point here.
Mandi “Ohh yeah, you’ll fint in here fine”
Of course i will. I’m like a little puzzle piece you lost.
Marzipan “Is your ice cream homemade too? Either way, yes please!”
Yes. My dog made it. Somehow he grew opposable thumbs last night and made ice cream. *spoons marzipan yummy ice cream*
Mandi “Oooooh… caramel. Never thought of it. I think it’s often overlooked for its orgy potential because of the car-mel vs. care-a-mel arguments. And arguments just aren’t sexy. But the advantage of the Internet is it doesn’t matter! ”
How in the world aren’t arguements sexy?
Pander “Put on the T-shirt.”
Yes sir! *salutes*
“It scores bonus points.”
What should i do with said bonus points.
Mandi “I was talking about the use of the word “rid.†I was made fun of in middle school for excessive use of Pittsburghese.”
I say rid and I’m not from Pittsburg.. I’ve never been to Pittsburg
Mandi: “I was talking about the use of the word “rid.†I was made fun of in middle school for excessive use of Pittsburghese.”
I’m from New York. We don’t notice that sort of stuff.
Plus most of my knowledge of Pittsburgh comes from watching Parking Wars.
Leah: “How in the world aren’t arguements sexy?”
Lets test this. Leah, Marzipan, get into see through nighties or lingerie, get your pillows, and get into an argument. Can be about anything. Obama, Rush Limbaugh. People who use the word ‘irregardless’. Anything.
“Yes sir! *salutes*”
Commence the drenching!
*SLOSH!* *kersplash*
*actions done to Leah which are probably banned in 25 states to determine her place in the Wet Tshirt contest*
Very nice. Now for the private interview.
“What should i do with said bonus points.”
As with most games, when you get enough points, you can unlock special patches. Nude patch, alternate costume patch… Alternate costume which I remove from you to create a nude patch……
Mandi “I was talking about the use of the word “rid.†I was made fun of in middle school for excessive use of Pittsburghese.â€
That is both odd and unfortunate, the combination of which causes me to giggle for some unknown reason.
Tirinka: “I’m still not sure if Americans say ‘Windshield’ or ‘Windscreen’ for the front window of their cars…”
In my little corner of America, at least, we say windshield. Windscreen makes me think of sunscreen, but for, you know, wind.
Pander: “She makes an excellent second point here.”
Why thank you, kind sir.
Tirinka: “Mandi – … normal people don’t use ‘rid’? o-o?”
I’m at a loss to explain it. New Yorkers use rid all the time. For example, I’d really like to get rid of the Governor, the Mayor, and the person in charge of the MTA for the fare hikes.
“Wow. Between living half my life overseas and half of my life in various states, my colloquial English must be pretty mismatched.”
Thirteen year olds nowadays have quite the vocabulary.
“I’m still not sure if Americans say ‘Windshield’ or ‘Windscreen’ for the front window of their cars… ”
windshield.
Charmaine: “Why thank you, kind sir.”
May I interest you in putting on this nice white t-shirt? *gets the hose*
Tirinka: “Pander – Thirteen year olds nowadays also go to college.”
… are you Doogie Howser, MD?
“Don’t you dare doubt me or I’ll throw my German textbook at your face.”
Kids today are so violent.
And so are Germans (even their books), apparently, though that’s not a surprise.
NeoDarklight: “Okay, seriously. What is wrong with this world?”
I know. I keep trying to get Rihanna, Britney, or Jessica Simpson to marry me by showing a sign, but I have no luck, because I’m not a wife beater, I have job skills, and I’m not a football player who chokes when it matters (respectively).
Myself: “Is this another marathon?”
One can hope.
“Will this webcomic be update before this section reaches 1000 comments?”
I think Bobby felt bad that I did not get to make the 1000 post mark last time.
Or maybe he’s planning on letting it hit over 900 again then updating before it can reach 1000, in some diabolically evil manner.
“Stick around to find out… =D”
Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
Pander – Luckily, it’s not sad that I had to look up who ‘Doogie Howser’ was because his show stopped airing two years before I was born, so I’ll admit that I did look it up.
I feel bad for that kid. I’ll stick to my English and my short stories.
Charmaine:”Arguments can be incredibly sexy, so long as they involve the removal of clothing and angry make-up sex afterward.”
That’s true, I always forget about that. I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex. The last thing I want someone I’m angry at to do is put their hands on me.
Pander:”I have no problems with you being the fluffer girl.”
Are you saying you need one??? The dozens of scantily clad women scattered about this forum aren’t enough for you??
“Leah, Marzipan, get into see through nighties or lingerie, get your pillows, and get into an argument. Can be about anything. Obama, Rush Limbaugh. People who use the word ‘irregardless’. Anything.”
How about the word ‘guesstimate’? Cause I think it’s a cute word and everyone always makes fun of me for it.
“I keep trying to get Rihanna, Britney, or Jessica Simpson to marry me by showing a sign, but I have no luck, because I’m not a wife beater, I have job skills, and I’m not a football player who chokes when it matters (respectively).”
…You have job skills? Does forum commenting count for that?
Judas: Bob Dole thinks you should vote for Bob Dole. Because Bob Dole says so. Bob Dole. I remember those days, that was fun.
Mandi: That’s weird. In NV we say get rid of all the time. But I’ve never heard of Yinz. That was pretty cool.
Ah, Wikipedia, how I love thee.
Leah: “Yes. My dog made it. Somehow he grew opposable thumbs last night and made ice cream. *spoons marzipan yummy ice cream*”
Oh, dear. I was trying to be all sexual and insinuating. Bringing your dog into it… that’s just wrong.
(But I’ll eat your ice cream anyways.)
Tirinka: Windshield. Windscreen? Wouldn’t that indicate holes or a weave of some kind?
Are you really in college?
*ducks* I’ve had enough of college textbooks; please don’t throw it at me.
And don’t worry, I didn’t know who Doogie Howser was either, because I never watched the show. The one time I asked, I made my boyfriend choke. He’s 5 years older than me and making him feel old never fails to amuse me.
Pander: “Lets test this. Leah, Marzipan, get into see through nighties or lingerie, get your pillows, and get into an argument. Can be about anything. Obama, Rush Limbaugh. People who use the word ‘irregardless’. Anything.”
…There are people who say ‘irregardless’? Really? O_o
“May I interest you in putting on this nice white t-shirt? *gets the hose*”
A gift! How thoughtful of you. Well, if you insist…
*commences the trying on of said t-shirt*
Wait, wh…what are you doing with that hose? Why are you looking at me like that?
Marzipan: “That’s true, I always forget about that. I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex. The last thing I want someone I’m angry at to do is put their hands on me.”
Oh…I suppose you have a point there. In that case, I suppose you could always settle for pretending to be angry with someone. In my opinion, angry make-up sex is far too enjoyable to pass up entirely, and I would hate to see you deprived of it for such trivial reasons as ‘personal space.’
Marzipan – Yes, I’m really in college. I’m one of those smart kids you see on TV, except I haven’t been on TV, and probably won’t be. :/ So I have to settle with trying to convince you guys I really am in college.
And in all honesty, I don’t care too much if you guys don’t believe me, ’cause I wouldn’t believe it either. Heck, with the way I talk, I wouldn’t even believe I was thirteen. Besides that, everyone in my classes thinks that I’m 18 until I tell them otherwise.
Also – I’m only allowed to take two classes and I have to do homeschooling on the side. Would you imagine that you have to be at least 16 to take the GED and get a high school degree without going? The nerve of those ageists astounds me. -o-
But I shouldn’t braaaag… x3 (I just love it too much to quit.)
Charmaine – You are lucky to have not yet encountered the people who say irregardless. Talk about ignorant.
Tirinka: “I feel bad for that kid. I’ll stick to my English and my short stories.”
He got Wanda. I do not feel bad for the Doog.
Then he got to kill giant bugs and develop psychic powers, apparently.
Oh and mess up people’s trips to White Castle.
Marzipan: “I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex.”
Something we must rectify immediately.
“Are you saying you need one??? The dozens of scantily clad women scattered about this forum aren’t enough for you??”
1) I like to be ready at a moment’s notice, so I need someone on call at all times.
2) Regardless of whether I need one or not, it’s nice to have one available. It’s like having car insurance. You don’t necessarily have to use it, but it becomes really useful if there was to be something unforeseen.
“How about the word ‘guesstimate’? Cause I think it’s a cute word and everyone always makes fun of me for it.”
Works for me. And… pillow fight!
“…You have job skills? Does forum commenting count for that?”
Forum commenting and attorney. Both have the same job skillset, usually.
Judas: “Bob Dole thinks you should vote for Bob Dole. Because Bob Dole says so. Bob Dole. ”
Bob Dole. Bob Dole.
Bob Dole!
“The one time I asked, I made my boyfriend choke. He’s 5 years older than me and making him feel old never fails to amuse me. ”
I don’t feel old from that, personally.
Most likely because I’m not old.
Even though I ‘get’ all the jokes on Family Guy.
Charmaine: “There are people who say ‘irregardless’? Really? O_o”
A few have so far managed to escape my elite hit-squad, yes.
“Wait, wh…what are you doing with that hose? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Don’t mind the camera. It’s there for later review of …. stuff.
*SPLOOOOOOSH*
Tirinka: “And in all honesty, I don’t care too much if you guys don’t believe me, ’cause I wouldn’t believe it either.”
I don’t believe you!
“Heck, with the way I talk, I wouldn’t even believe I was thirteen.”
Totally don’t believe you!
“Besides that, everyone in my classes thinks that I’m 18 until I tell them otherwise.”
Not one bit.
“The nerve of those ageists astounds me. -o-”
No, no no, don’t believe.
“You are lucky to have not yet encountered the people who say irregardless.”
Ok maybe I believe you. Would you like to be on my elite hit-squad?
“Talk about ignorant.”
I’m starting a ‘junior members’ chapter of it.
Leah says: “The last time I was called cute I was jumping up and down with a spoonful of pasta. Creepy old men are straaaaange”
Aww… combining food fetish with jumping/trampoline fetish… why didn’t I think of that.
“Is said t-shirt white? Cause it’s no fun otherwise.”
What? Most light colors will do, as long as the shirt is cotton. I may be a virgin, but I’m no saint.
Marzipan says: “Now you’re just stealing from V. Watch it. Guy Fawkes masks are scary. ”
I haven’t seen V for Vendetta, but I do agree that governments should fear it’s people, not the other way around, but that’s more to avoid what happened in Atlas Shrugged.
“Please tell me that after you learned how to be a cunning linguist, you learned how to be a… cunning linguist. ”
Yes, I learned how, but right now it’s only book knowledge. I’m a nerd, I never got an opportunity to practice it.
“I’m gonna go kick Lucy’s ass if she was trying to take Bill off the market.
Oh, and the last time I was called cute, I was ranting about fricking-Miley-fricking-Cyrus. About ten seconds ago.”
Thanks for the defense against a fictional character… , seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.
I used to love Guy Fawkes day when I was living in New Zealand. It was so much fun to go out to the park and watch the fireworks. Kinda like the fourth of July. :3
It’s kinda funny how they celebrate that day, though, considering he did try to blow up Parliament.
… That was kindasorta related to what you guys are talking about, right? o-o;;
Tirinka: “Pander – Only if I can be the sniper.”
If you havent been paying attention from my style of posting, I’ll let you know now – anyone affiliated with the Pander Elite Hit Corps eventually becomes a sniper.
Bill M.: “Aww… combining food fetish with jumping/trampoline fetish… why didn’t I think of that.”
You creepy old man….
“I haven’t seen V for Vendetta, but I do agree that governments should fear it’s people, not the other way around, but that’s more to avoid what happened in Atlas Shrugged.”
I think she’s referring to Varrsuvius from another comic called Order of the Stick, actually.
“Thanks for the defense against a fictional character… , seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.”
Speak for yourself bub. I”m a perfect example of how a man can be macho, smexy. ever-so-studly and cute all rolled into one deitific package.
Tirinka Says: “That was kindasorta related to what you guys are talking about, right?”
Nope.
“Australian linguist Pam Peters (The Cambridge Guide to English Usage, 2004) suggests that irregardless has become fetishized, since natural examples of this word in corpora of written and spoken English are greatly outnumbered by examples where it is in fact only cited as an incorrect term.”
As a bona-fide, born-and-raised Texan, I say with pride that I have used all three of these words, and will probably continue to do so until the day I die.
Nooooooo, LazerWulf… Please don’t use “regardless” with the unnecessary and redundant two letters in front of it. Then I’ll have to respect you less. And I had you ranked as one of the good guys! (And wikipedia is hardly a reputable source.)
Jon Pander: “Tirinka: “Pander – Only if I can be the sniper.â€
If you havent been paying attention from my style of posting, I’ll let you know now – anyone affiliated with the Pander Elite Hit Corps eventually becomes a sniper. ”
I thought I told you to leave her alone for a few years. Could have sworn there was something about lawsuits cutting into my profit margins.
Bill M.: “seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.”
You mean “women” and “men.” If you’re going to perpetuate stereotypes of gender constructs, kindly use the social terms rather than the biological ones.
Jon Pander: “Speak for yourself bub. Iâ€m a perfect example of how a man can be macho, smexy. ever-so-studly and cute all rolled into one deitific package.”
He meant MORTALS, Jon. We all know you are all the above things, and more. Including modest, which you forgot to mention yet again.
Tirinka: “I used to love Guy Fawkes day when I was living in New Zealand. It was so much fun to go out to the park and watch the fireworks. ”
I got to go to the bonfire night (Guy Fawkes) celebration at Lewes, in East Sussex, which apparently has the largest and most extravagant such celebration in England. (80,000 non-residents flock to it each year.) It struck me as a rather frighteningly angry ritual. There were five parades, all of which had 40 metre… er… 120 foot bonfires, and didn’t just burn effigies, but blew them up. And also threw firecrackers into the crowd as they went. And threw hundreds of firecrackers at these poor volunteers dressed as the Pope and Catholic priests… I mean, I knew in theory it was a rather angry holiday, but actually being there in person and seeing the merriment and drinking as the ritual violence very closely approached and sometimes overlapped with true violence was something entirely different. (Had a fab time though.)
Hey Jon, your church needs bonfires.
….and the rest of you, especially Marzipan, I promise I’ll actually write a response to the stuff you said to me. Someday. I’m in the middle of moving to a new apartment.
Lazerwulf – With regards to ‘irregardless’ – There’s no reason those of us who know what is right should dumb down the language just because the ignorant are using incorrect words. We should just teach them so they’re not ignorant anymore. Accepting irregardless as a word (oh god, they don’t even red-line it on firefox) would just be devolving the language.
I have no problem with ‘y’all’ other than it sounding weird and myself questioning the grammar.
‘Ain’t', however, I still choose to rigidly enforce as not being a word because it’s a contraction without its parts. What’s it contracting, ‘ai’ and ‘not’? :/ It doesn’t make sense.
But that’s enough of that, I don’t want to start an arguement, really I don’t. I just get annoyed, and I’m pretty obsessive over my pet peeves.
Jessica – I hope you have a nice move! 8D Don’t hurt yourself lifting boxes; don’t hurry to unpack that that isn’t neccessary.
Tirinka – Thank you for the kind wishes. I’ve got most everything in boxes now, set to carry down the three flights of stairs to the ground floor. (I am never living on an upper floor of a building without an elevator again.) As per usual, my computer will be the absolute last thing I pack.
And I take it you’re a prescriptive grammarian, not a descriptive one? The student of literature within me agrees with you, but the student of anthropology and linguistics would like to point out that languages do change over time, and that “devolution” is hardly an accurate description for that shift. Although “irregardless” is a personal pet peeve of mine (though not as annoying as people mixing up then/than) I have to say that the invention of new (redundantly constructed) words is less troublesome than the ever-decreasing spoken/written vocabulary of the average English-speaker. At least, that’s my (in all honesty, relatively uninformed) opinion.
I’m all for evolving a language and changing it over time – for example, who vs. whom is going to die out undoubtedly and very few will miss it (I actually just figured out how to use it) – but changes like ‘irregardless’ … eugh.
Charmaine: “In that case, I suppose you could always settle for pretending to be angry with someone. In my opinion, angry make-up sex is far too enjoyable to pass up entirely, and I would hate to see you deprived of it for such trivial reasons as ‘personal space.’”
I can fake anger. One of the few things I DO fake.
Tirinka: No worries, I believe you! People on the Internets always tell the truth, right? Like Pander’s statements of prowess?
I do think it’s cool that you’re actually being challenged, but they should let you graduate regardless of age. I definitely agree on damning the ageists. I have a similar problem, in that I work with a bunch of women who think you don’t know anything unless you’re at least over thirty– and I now have more formal education than the majority of them. *sigh*
/rant
V for Vendetta has a whole speech involving the overuse of V words, which is what brought up the convo. But he did blow up Parliament, finishing Guy’s work. I dunno, I think fireworks are pretty appropriate. And burning effigies are pretty. But all together, it seems like kind of a mixed message for patriotism. And I didn’t know it was celebrated in New Zealand!
Pander: “Marzipan: “I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex.â€
Something we must rectify immediately.”
You, my friend, might just be able to do that.
(on fluffers) “Regardless of whether I need one or not, it’s nice to have one available. It’s like having car insurance. You don’t necessarily have to use it, but it becomes really useful if there was to be something unforeseen.”
You just like having someone to mess around with you whenever you want. We see right through you and your silly ‘sex insurance.’
“Works for me. And… pillow fight!”
*whacks Pander in head with goose-down pillow*
…Are you really an attorney?
My gosh, the diversity here.
Bill M.: Crap, Atlas Shrugged is the only Ayn Rand I HAVEN’T read. I preferred Anthem. Much shorter. I love to read, but even I have my limits.
“Yes, I learned how, but right now it’s only book knowledge. I’m a nerd, I never got an opportunity to practice it.”
Don’t worry, we’ll take care of that. >:D
“seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.”
Hey! Quit gendering me! I’m a college-edumacated feminist, believe it or not! Just ignore the negligee I’m wearing for now.
P.S. I had no idea irregardless was a no-no word. I’ve seen it before, but not overly so. I swear I’m learning more in this forum than I am at school.
I’m a big enforcer of they’re/their/there, because there is no reason why they’re not using their words properly.
Jessica: No worries. I speak into the void and listen for an echo, but even when I don’t get one I still know someone’s listening. Good luck with moving! Don’t do what my best friend’s best friend did: packed steak knives in the bottom of the box, went to readjust the box while carrying it, and severed her right quadriceps. Or at least severely poked.
And yay for people posting and making me a make a ridiculously long comment!
I picked up on saying Irregardless from my dad, though he only said it to irritate my mom (in that joking-teasing way, mind you. My parents have been happily married for 35+ years and still going strong), and you can’t call yourself a Southerner if you don’t say Y’all or Ain’t. However, as a writer (albeit a writer of fanfiction), I do have an incredible respect for the English Language, so when I write, I hardly use any of these terms. As much as I hated writing essays in school, I am grateful that they have instilled in me that respect. (With the exception of LOL or BRB, I hardly ever use IM-ese, even on IM.)
Marzipan & Jessica: I’m a big enforcer of… well, everything in regards to the English language. It’s actually kinda humorous, I guess, looking at it from someone else’s perspective. I treat it like a religion, almost. XD;; I’m not afraid of correcting those I know on their mistakes, regardless of how old they are. I think it’s ’cause that’s how I was raised, constantly being corrected. That’s how I learned, so… *shrug*
I think I like English and guard it so vehemently because it’s the one thing I can really tell people that I’m good at. I can be confident about it. -^ ^- It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside~
Also, yes, Guy Fawkes day is celebrated in New Zealand. They’re with the Brit’s too. :3 NZ is awesome, though. Those kiwis and their mumblin’… xd
It’s a beautiful country, but I’m not sure if I’d want to live there as an adult, given that they pay about 60% in taxes. DDDDx I’m not into that.
(ohshit, this little girl knows politics too? Apocalypse in three…)
PS (and oh I hate to double post): Lazerwulf! Give me time to write my post so I don’t miss yours! XD
Not a fan of IM-ese, either, with the exception of a joking ‘nao’ or ‘moar’, and obviously the smileys. ‘Brb’ is in my repertoire, along with a few ‘lulz’ and some ‘G2g’s when I’m in a hurry. Oh, and joking ‘wut’ on occasion.
But can you blame me? XD; Jokes are jokes; so long as it doesn’t follow me everywhere, I’m fine.
You can tell that I have finally jumped on the Pander Bandwagon…
Pander: I know. I keep trying to get Rihanna, Britney, or Jessica Simpson to marry me by showing a sign, but I have no luck, because I’m not a wife beater, I have job skills, and I’m not a football player who chokes when it matters (respectively).
Jessica Simpson did have the good taste to marry Nick Lachey for a short period of time…I’m pretty sure she hypnotized him with her tits or something…he dumped her because hse was so damn stupid
Marzipan: That’s weird. In NV we say get rid of all the time. But I’ve never heard of Yinz. That was pretty cool.
Ah, Wikipedia, how I love thee.
Ok that wasn’t a blatant use of Pittsburghese…I never realized that other places used “rid” as an actual word.
Tirinka: On another note – \o/ Yay for opinions.
Where have you been?? That’s all that has been going on since the comic started.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who uses full, properly spelled language in IM and text-speak. It seemed like my boyfriend and I were the only people ON EARTH (:P) to do that, and I always got teased for it. But really, if I press the ‘u’ button on my phone and have to press the ‘next’ button three times in order to get to the letter, wouldn’t it just be more efficient to press ‘y’ ‘o’ and ‘u’ and let the autospeller get it?
Then again, my phone’s lame.
Tirinka says: “It’s kinda funny how they celebrate that day, though, considering he did try to blow up Parliament.”
They say he was the only man who ever went to Parliament without false pretenses.
Jon Pander says: “I think she’s referring to Varrsuvius from another comic called Order of the Stick, actually.”
Ah… haven’t read that one…
Marzipan says: “Crap, Atlas Shrugged is the only Ayn Rand I HAVEN’T read. I preferred Anthem. Much shorter. I love to read, but even I have my limits.”
Atlas Shrugged is long, but worth it. The only time that’s okay in it to skip ahead is during the interrupted radio broadcast, which is supposed to be a 3-hour speech. Once I got the point, I flipped forward, and was astounded at how long the speech was when written out. They’re supposedly making a movie next year.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of that. >:D”
Note to self: stock up on energy drinks
“Hey! Quit gendering me! I’m a college-edumacated feminist, believe it or not! Just ignore the negligee I’m wearing for now. ”
Sorry… I used those gender terms because by the time boys become men, they cannot 99.999999992% of the time be called cute. There are rare instances, but puberty is the cutoff for most males… Women, however, can be cute, especially in the eyes of their significant other well into their 30s.
And I’m already ignoring the negligee, I have to or Pander will send goons after me, something about “donating plasma the hard way.”
Myself says: “GO PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD.
IT’S FREE FOR TODAY.”
No it wasn’t. I tried walking out of the store with a copy, and got stopped. The misunderstanding got corrected, something similar happened at the store during the Sierra Mist Free days.
Pander: “Don’t mind the camera. It’s there for later review of …. stuff.
*SPLOOOOOOSH*”
*yelps* Ohmygoodness, so cold…hey, give me that camera!
*grumbles* You had better hope that I win, for your chance of survival hinges upon my victory.
What am I competing in, again?
“Speak for yourself bub. Iâ€m a perfect example of how a man can be macho, smexy. ever-so-studly and cute all rolled into one deitific package.”
Not to mention generous. Overlooking the drenching, you have given out a jacket and two T-shirts by my count.
“Regardless of whether I need one or not, it’s nice to have one available. It’s like having car insurance. You don’t necessarily have to use it, but it becomes really useful if there was to be something unforeseen.”
If you are above us mortals, shouldn’t there be no unforeseen occurrences for you due to your godly prowess? Or something like that, I imagine.
“Many women fake a lot of things other than anger. Well not the women I’m with, of course.”
I certainly hope not. Otherwise, I am afraid I would have to mock you relentlessly, and I do so prefer being nice to people.
Tirinka: “‘Ain’t’, however, I still choose to rigidly enforce as not being a word because it’s a contraction without its parts. What’s it contracting, ‘ai’ and ‘not’? :/ It doesn’t make sense.”
Exactly! Besides people who say ‘between you and I,’ ‘ain’t’ is perhaps my biggest pet peeve.
“I’m all for evolving a language and changing it over time – for example, who vs. whom is going to die out undoubtedly and very few will miss it (I actually just figured out how to use it) – but changes like ‘irregardless’ … eugh.”
…I will miss it. *sniff*
“I’m not afraid of correcting those I know on their mistakes, regardless of how old they are. I think it’s ’cause that’s how I was raised, constantly being corrected. That’s how I learned, so… *shrug*”
Hooray! Someone else with a grammar-happy family! *high-fives* I feel less alone.
Marzipan: “Hey! Quit gendering me! I’m a college-edumacated feminist, believe it or not! Just ignore the negligee I’m wearing for now.”
But if I ignore it, then I will feel like the most exposed person here. *shivers*
Bill M.: “Sorry… I used those gender terms because by the time boys become men, they cannot 99.999999992% of the time be called cute. There are rare instances, but puberty is the cutoff for most males… Women, however, can be cute, especially in the eyes of their significant other well into their 30s.”
Not true. Girls can call their boyfriends cute and the guys have just got to grin and bear it.
“And I’m already ignoring the negligee, I have to or Pander will send goons after me, something about “donating plasma the hard way.—
Oh, don’t worry about Pander. There’s plenty of Marzipan to go around.
Pander: “How about we compromise. Instead of bonfires, I take you all to a beach where you can get all over tans. Topless is allowed.”
Well, obviously during the days we tan at the beach and at night we have a bonfire by the shore and make s’mores. Just think of the gooey marshmallow dripping all over.
“Tirinka, don’t read this stuff. We’re all going um… to the library… Tirinka, don’t read this. We’re talking about um…. economics.”
Stop condescending to the girl just cause she’s not legal. I know I was in SHARE (sex ed.) since I was like 10 (mainly so that early bloomers weren’t freaked the hell out by their periods) so I highly doubt she DOESN’T know what we’re talking about. She’s just not allowed to play too.
“Corporate litigation and intellectual property mostly. It’s driven me quite over the edge though.”
Well I could certainly see why. Definitely explains the sex drive.
“I once proposed to a guy I know…”
I KNEW IT.
“…that they remake Anthem as a movie starring Arnold Swartzenegger. I think it would work out great. Seriously. Read it again and picture Arnie in the lead role. It works.”
…Actually, it does. He’s kind of the ideal Randian superman.
Random side note: My boyfriend wants to know if you’ve seen Cannibal: The musical. I dunno why. Good movie, though. Then he said if you haven’t, and I quote, he’s going to “go all Alfred Packer on your ass.”
Charmaine: “*yelps* Ohmygoodness, so cold…hey, give me that camera!”
I need to record this for prosterity!
“*grumbles* You had better hope that I win, for your chance of survival hinges upon my victory. ”
In any wet T-shirt contest, I always feel that I wind up being the winner because I get to judge.
“What am I competing in, again?”
Entry into the Church of Pander as a loyal minion babe, and possibly a harem girl.
“Not to mention generous. Overlooking the drenching, you have given out a jacket and two T-shirts by my count. ”
My generosity with giving clothing to babes is only matched with my need to get the clothing off them as soon as possible.
“If you are above us mortals, shouldn’t there be no unforeseen occurrences for you due to your godly prowess?”
It’s that stupid free will thing. It’s the reason I let things like ‘The Horde’ and Toolfan live.
Besides who wants to know everything that will happen. I like surprises.
“Otherwise, I am afraid I would have to mock you relentlessly, and I do so prefer being nice to people. ”
You won’t have to mock. Something else involving those last two letters are far more likely.
Tirinka, we’re talking about um…. cooking. Yeah. Cooking.
“Besides people who say ‘between you and I,’ ‘ain’t’ is perhaps my biggest pet peeve. ”
Just between you and I, do you have any other peeves I can pet?
Wait no, that didn’t sound right at all.
“Hooray! Someone else with a grammar-happy family! *high-fives* I feel less alone. ”
My mother was an english teacher and would threaten to beat me with an Oxford Dictionary if she heard me using bad grammar. *sniff*
“But if I ignore it, then I will feel like the most exposed person here.”
Believe me, everyone associated with the Church of Pander winds up being exposed.
“I need a blanket.”
No blanket for you.
Marzipan: “Not true. Girls can call their boyfriends cute and the guys have just got to grin and bear it.”
This is true.
“Oh, don’t worry about Pander. There’s plenty of Marzipan to go around.”
Hey now!
No, no. Worry about Pander. His elite hit squad is flawless.
“Well, obviously during the days we tan at the beach and at night we have a bonfire by the shore and make s’mores. Just think of the gooey marshmallow dripping all over. ”
You’re an excellent negoatiator, you realize that?
“Stop condescending to the girl just cause she’s not legal.”
No. It’s fun.
“She’s just not allowed to play too. ”
Tirinka, she’s um…. talking about our online poker games that we play.
Yeah. Poker.
Pok….er… Yes. That works on many levels.
“Well I could certainly see why. Definitely explains the sex drive.”
Actually most normal men would be too exhausted to have a sex drive after the hours I work
““I once proposed to a guy I know…†I KNEW IT.”
Unfair! taking it out of context!
Don’t worry hotties, the Pander is 100% manly hetero guy.
“…Actually, it does. He’s kind of the ideal Randian superman.”
I know! Isn’t it cool? Not sure who would play the girl though.
“Random side note: My boyfriend wants to know if you’ve seen Cannibal: The musical.”
You mean the one directed by the guy who made South Park?
“Then he said if you haven’t, and I quote, he’s going to “go all Alfred Packer on your ass.—
Ok again – I did not ‘propose’ in that way. It was as in ‘suggesting an idea’ proposal. Not an indecent proposal!
Can you please tell your boyfriend not to eat me? Erk.
“And, it’s bedtime. Who’s joining me?”
Me!
LazerWulf: “Pander: I’m still a guy.”
Ignore anything I said then.
“Check back to the earlier posts on this page, back when we were still talking about Sailor Moon.”
I wasn’t even paying attention to most of what I was saying back then.
Pesky: “*Melts at what Guy says in panel two* Oh God…. I wish my boyfriend was that romantic….”
Give him swine flu or something which gives him a high fever. When the delerium kicks in maybe he’ll become as romantic as delerious Guy.
Marzipan says: “Not true. Girls can call their boyfriends cute and the guys have just got to grin and bear it. ”
That’s why I included an exception in my percentage.
“Oh, don’t worry about Pander. There’s plenty of Marzipan to go around. ”
Okay… *checks over shoulder* When it comes to you, I’ll not worry about Pander.
@ the “ain’t” debate
Actually, it started as someone drunk trying to say aren’t, but the r got slurred, and someone then spelled out what it sounded like, eventually catching on.
Jon Pander says: “Actually yes I am. Corporate litigation and intellectual property mostly. It’s driven me quite over the edge though.”
Ahh… a lawyer. You’re used to screwing people over. Your church makes total sense now.
Hilarious. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this until yesterday! Thank goodness for the internet and for lots of free time to read hilarious shit like this!
Pander: “Entry into the Church of Pander as a loyal minion babe, and possibly a harem girl.”
Strangely enough, neither one of those sounds particularly appealing to me.
Shocking, I know.
Can I have cake, instead?
“You won’t have to mock. Something else involving those last two letters are far more likely.”
I certainly hope you are referring to…erm, backpacking. No, wait! Hijacking is much more enjoyable.
“My mother was an english teacher and would threaten to beat me with an Oxford Dictionary if she heard me using bad grammar. *sniff*”
Oh, you poor thing! *swoops down with hugs and ice cream* There, now. Ice cream fixes everything.
“No blanket for you.”
That is okay. I will just leech all of the warmth off of you.
Tirinka: “*tosses blanket* -^ ^-”
*dives under said blanket* Ah, warmth…
Pander: “You mean the one directed by the guy who made South Park?”
…Yes? I think so. The boyfriend’s asleep so I can’t ask.
“Can you please tell your boyfriend not to eat me? Erk.”
He won’t. He doesn’t swing that way, unlike Mr. Pander “100% manly hetero guy.”
*snicker* riiiiight…
“I know! Isn’t it cool? Not sure who would play the girl though.”
It would have to be someone disgustingly fawny over Ahnold. Stands out on her own as a beauty, but worships the ground he walks on. Ayn Rand had issues, I tell you.
Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill. 1) Uma Thurman already did it, and 2) I’ve not had my way with him yet. You’ll just have to learn to share.
And we actually have a sign somewhere in downtown Reno that says Poker in the front, Liquor in the back. I got in trouble when I read that aloud once.
Kori: “pander you’re a comedic genius, i’m starting to think.”
You do start to at first, but then he kind of wears on you and you get used to twenty snarky comments a day. Welcome anyway, we of the harem are great friends.
Tirinka: Glad you’re feeling better, but I hope you find your long-post voice again soon!
Charmaine: “I certainly hope you are referring to…erm, backpacking. No, wait! Hijacking is much more enjoyable.”
I think the word he was looking for is firetruck.
*snuggles in under blanket with Charmaine*
Bill M.: “Okay… *checks over shoulder* When it comes to you, I’ll not worry about Pander.”
*sound of a gun being readied*
Caity, got a job for you to do. It involves shooting a gun. Bring the new hit squad trainee while you’re at it.
“Ahh… a lawyer. You’re used to screwing people over.”
And getting money for doing so.
“Your church makes total sense now.”
Glad you approve.
Kori Umiame: “XD i have to admit i’m sometimes more entertained by the comments than the comic… sorry bobby! ^^;”
Well we do often update the comments more frequently. But that’s easy to do since there’s no artwork involved. At least not artwork that would turn this into a NSFW site.
“pander you’re a comedic genius, i’m starting to think.”
Yes. Yes I am.
“*presents homemade cheesecake* may i join your church?”
If you’re hot.
Put on the T-shirt please *gets the hose and the camera again.
(Tirinka I’m um…. documenting something about gardening)
Tirinka: “No poker for me.”
There are so many things I want to say to this but can’t due to legal restrictions.
“Being sick sucked all the long posts out of me. I’m better now, but they’re all gone”
As long as I’m here, the long posts will never be gone.
Again, I want to say something but can’t because of legal reasons.
Grow up faster, Tirinka.
The Skrilla: “Not that there’s anything wrong with Bobby taking his time.”
Bobby’s currently on a secret mission – it involves ninjas but I can’t tell you all more than that.
“these comment sections wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.”
Well they would still be quite entertaining actually… just not nearly as long.
“Pander: Poker? I ‘ardly know ‘er!”
I’m glad someone got that. Don’t let Tirinka see with her below-age-of-legality eyes though.
Charmaine: “Strangely enough, neither one of those sounds particularly appealing to me.”
Try it. You’ll like it.
Trust me, I’m a lawyer.
“Can I have cake, instead?”
No cake, pie, or other pastry-type substances unless and until you’re in the Church of Pander. Sorry.
“I certainly hope you are referring to…erm, backpacking.”
Well you will definitely want to rest after it’s done. Fortunately we have a nice relaxing shower for that.
“Oh, you poor thing! *swoops down with hugs and ice cream* There, now. Ice cream fixes everything.”
Depending on where the ice cream is placed…
“That is okay. I will just leech all of the warmth off of you.”
Yes. Body heat. That’s what you get in the Church of Pander.
“*dives under said blanket* Ah, warmth…”
Gimme that. *snatch*
“*sticks her tongue out at Pander* Nyehh ”
If you’re going to stick that out be prepared to us it too.
Marzipan: “…Yes? I think so. The boyfriend’s asleep so I can’t ask. ”
Then yeah I did.
“unlike Mr. Pander “100% manly hetero guy.†*snicker* riiiiight… ”
Yep. I’m ao macho that I drink napalm to get rid of a heartburn.
“It would have to be someone disgustingly fawny over Ahnold.”
And who is hot.
“Stands out on her own as a beauty, but worships the ground he walks on.”
Uber-hot.
“Ayn Rand had issues, I tell you.”
Make sure the babe is hot.
“Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill.”
It’s obviouisly a pseudonym, so that’s a loophole.
“1) Uma Thurman already did it, and 2) I’ve not had my way with him yet. You’ll just have to learn to share.”
Ew, so Bill is already dead and you’re gonna have your way with a dead guy? And not the ‘vampire’ dead. The ‘zombie’ type of dead, except not even a zombie?
Blecch.
“And we actually have a sign somewhere in downtown Reno that says Poker in the front, Liquor in the back.”
You sure it’s not the other way around? That way sounds awfully unsanitary.
“You do start to at first, but then he kind of wears on you and you get used to twenty snarky comments a day.”
You love me and you know it. Get back in the tequila shower.
“Welcome anyway, we of the harem are great friends.”
Beneficially speaking.
“I think the word he was looking for is firetruck.”
Well it does involve a long hose.
“*snuggles in under blanket with Charmaine*”
Seriously gimme that *yank* Into the shower with you two.
Charmaine:
“But, firetruck is not a verb…”
I’m so manly that I can make nouns into verbs.
Pander: Am I supposed to be pretending I don’t know exactly what you guys are talking about? :/ I spent sixth grade in a bus filled with pervy, bisexual high schoolers, and it was a 4 hour round trip.
I’m also on the internet. If that hasn’t corrupted me by now, I don’t think anything will.
Charmaine: Well, none of the verbs you came up with actually ended in -ck, they ended in -ing. Cause they’re verbs. Language is hard. Back to the snuggling.
Pander: ““Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill.â€
It’s obviouisly a pseudonym, so that’s a loophole.”
You mean like your name is a pseudonym?
“Ew, so Bill is already dead and you’re gonna have your way with a dead guy?”
Bill M. is not dead. And he’s not allowed to be. Stop being so greedy, there are plenty of girls with multiple harem memberships here.
“You sure it’s not the other way around? That way sounds awfully unsanitary.”
It might be. I don’t remember. But poker in the front and not the back might be preferable, because it won’t get you killed. I got frottaged once at a concert and I don’t like being poked in the back now.
“You love me and you know it. Get back in the tequila shower.”
Tequila certainly does a lot for that love…
“Seriously gimme that *yank*”
*yanks back* no freezing out the poor Charmaine! *wraps blanket tightly around us* now you’ve lost your snuggling priveleges.
I just noticed that I use a lot in posts to Pander. Coincidence?
Tirinka: “I spent sixth grade in a bus filled with pervy, bisexual high schoolers, and it was a 4 hour round trip.”
HA. I remember those days… They’ve certainly gone places only spider monkey would have here. Also places that they don’t know aren’t actually possible. We got nothing to worry about. Well, except legal liability, ISP tracing, or getting banned.
Tirinka: “Am I supposed to be pretending I don’t know exactly what you guys are talking about? :/”
For legal reasons, apparently yes.
“I spent sixth grade in a bus filled with pervy, bisexual high schoolers, and it was a 4 hour round trip.”
And if we were high schoolers too, we wouldn’t have to play this little game, now would we.
This is all your fault you know for telling us you’re a 13 year old Doogie Howser. If you lied and said you were of legal age, I wouldn’t have to be doing this. See my wonderful logic?
“I’m also on the internet. If that hasn’t corrupted me by now, I don’t think anything will.”
While it is true that, as Avenue Q aptly put it, the Internet is for porn, the Church of Pander does not want to cause too many legal hurdles for our chief finnancial officer/exculpator/whatever I’m calling her nowadays.
“… I wuv joo guys. ouo”
We wuv joo too, in a totally platonic way until 5 more years have passed.
Wern: “must have that swine flu”
No, the pig was in Dragonball Z, not in Sailor Moon.
Marzipan: “You mean like your name is a pseudonym?”
Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.
And people make fun of this name all the time anyway. heck I make fun of it. But if someone sends the ninjas after me, they will find that my kung fu is too strong, unlike Bill’s.
“Bill M. is not dead.”
Let him rest in peace, girl!
“Stop being so greedy,”
No. Me no likey sharing.
“But poker in the front and not the back might be preferable,”
But liquor in back. Ick.
“because it won’t get you killed.”
I’ll give some diagrams of how it can be accomplished without resorting to what I’m pretty sure you’re saying will get me killed.
“I got frottaged once at a concert”
Note to self, look up new word.
“and I don’t like being poked in the back now.”
Ok where’s that diagram…
“Tequila certainly does a lot for that love…”
I’m not picky about the tools I use to ensure the lovin’.
“*yanks back*”
*yanks back again* Don’t make me get mah pimpstick.
“no freezing out the poor Charmaine!”
But all sorts of grat things happen when she gets chilly!
“now you’ve lost your snuggling priveleges.”
Fine, we’ll just get straight to the orgy.
(Tirinka, I meant that to spell ogre but I’m a terrible speller. Honest)
“I just noticed that I use a lot in posts to Pander. Coincidence?”
Because conversing with me fills you with joy and other things.
Mandi: “Pander, I have officially decided that you are one of the Gods…”
That’s part of the Church of Pander charter, accepting me as a deity.
Amen.
Get in the shower.
“I had random “bisexual†girls in high school…”
Why did no one tell me about these high schools.
I want answers, and now.
“actually they were just fuggers”
Ok just lost interest. Not into the ugg-o’s.
Kori Umiame: “and alright, alright i’ll put on the shirt… *does so* even though i know what’s coming so… *ducks behind table*”
Get her from behind ! *sploosh comes from behind, very cold water*
*when you jump in surprise, sploosh comes from the front.*
Pander: “Get her from behind ! *sploosh comes from behind, very cold water*
*when you jump in surprise, sploosh comes from the front.*
Take that as you will, people.”
*shivers violently from the cold* agh dangit. >.< i was trying to avoid that. *looks at pander on the verge of a glare* are you trying to make me sick?
““I just noticed that I use a lot in posts to Pander. Coincidence?â€
Because conversing with me fills you with joy and other things.”
Aw, crap. I meant to put Emoticon typo! emotypo? No, that sounds like a kid blogging ‘i ctu myslef and it flet gr8′
Jon: “Marry Me Comic: The Internet’s favorite destination for the perennially dateless. A little sad, actually.”
I suppose he missed all of the references to boyfriends and fiances. A little sad, actually.
Ironically, I am minus one boyfriend this weekend– he’s seeing family for Mother’s Day. This should mean that I’ll be posting on here more often, but I deliberately packed my schedule so I’ll probably post less. :/ Hope you can keep the orgy going without me. Kori, I’m counting on you.
I randomly thought of something while watching tv earlier…Stasia’s bodyguard (i can’t remember his name at the moment) should be played by Shaq…that was the general consensus…that random priest that marries Guy and Stasia should be played by Ben Stein.
Marzipan says: “Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill. 1) Uma Thurman already did it, and 2) I’ve not had my way with him yet. You’ll just have to learn to share. ”
1a) The name of that movie has soured me on watching it…
1b) Wait… so I won’t die even if I’m killed? Sweet…
2a) HALLELUJAH!
2b) Pander? Share? It’d be easier to kill Sailor Moon.
“And we actually have a sign somewhere in downtown Reno that says Poker in the front, Liquor in the back. I got in trouble when I read that aloud once.”
Huh? Straight sex and a rim job? Well, if you’re up for it…
Mandi says: “I had random “bisexual†girls in high school…actually they were just fuggers so they made out with girls publicly so that guys would talk to them.”
There were a few “town bicycles” at my school, but the only “lady” I remember from my class shared a biology class with me my sophomore year. She was already married. It was also the only class the teacher graded on the curve, but went with the second or third highest score, and I ended up not needing to take a final the first semester, so the teacher told me beforehand, show up for the attendance, then go to the library for the remainder of class.
Jon Pander says: “*sound of a gun being readied*
Caity, got a job for you to do. It involves shooting a gun. Bring the new hit squad trainee while you’re at it.”
It’s okay, I won’t die, even if I’m killed.
“Bobby’s currently on a secret mission – it involves ninjas but I can’t tell you all more than that.”
Hmm… ninjas… either it’s the search for Anko, who’s gone missing for far too long, something to do with the Fairbanks 13, or a Last Blood/Dr. McNinja crossover… my money’s on Anko.
“It’s obviouisly a pseudonym, so that’s a loophole.”
Well, sorta. My legal name is Billy, I don’t peel labels from bottles of Bud, but I try not to lose people’s numbers ’cause I’m not anywhere they can find me. I miss the innocent kid I used to be that ran around with white plastic-grip pistols shot from the handlebars of my bike. People also keep telling me not to be a hero.
“Ew, so Bill is already dead and you’re gonna have your way with a dead guy? And not the ‘vampire’ dead. The ‘zombie’ type of dead, except not even a zombie?”
I couldn’t be a vampire? Hellsing Ultimate has the requirement that true vampires are virgins. That’s how Arucard was able to turn Seras Victoria.
Marzipan again says: “Bill M. is not dead. And he’s not allowed to be. Stop being so greedy, there are plenty of girls with multiple harem memberships here.”
Thanks.
“But poker in the front and not the back might be preferable, because it won’t get you killed. I got frottaged once at a concert and I don’t like being poked in the back now. ”
Gotcha, no pokey in back unless you ask for it… wait, if I’m licking in the back, isn’t my tongue poking it?
Jon Pander again says: “Let him rest in peace, girl!”
Hmm… be a dead guy like Bernie or Dracula and still attract women, or be like those who’ve been dead, but got better like Spock, Kirk, Captain Jack Sparrow, and other revived people that still attract women. Choices, choices…
“But liquor in back. Ick.”
Rim job. Besides, there are some apple booties that inspire me to repeat a line from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle… “The things I would eat out of her ass! You have no idea!”
Marzipan again says: “That’s the definition I’m familiar with. Frottage and callypagian (I hope I’m spelling that right) are my boyfriend’s favorite words. Guess what his favorite pastime is. ”
Callypygian, and rubbing your booty, if I were to combine the meanings of those two words. Marzipan, as long as you’re callypygian, things would go great… if you’re not, things will go good, just not great.
Thanks for the spelling fix. And oh believe me Bill, I’m as callipygian as they get. A black girl walked up to me once and said ‘dayam girl, I WANT that ass!’
(I know, that’s a horrible racist stereotype. What’s more horrible is that it really did happen.)
Marzipan Says: “Thanks for the spelling fix. And oh believe me Bill, I’m as callipygian as they get. A black girl walked up to me once and said ‘dayam girl, I WANT that ass!’”
If we ever meet, expect to hear that phrase again, just with a different meaning…
… unless she swung/swings that way…
Also, are you affected by lordosis (also known as swayback, colloquially)? It’s a curvature in the lumbar region of the spine that enhances the posterior profile for fanny fanatics such as myself, but has some side effects that aren’t so good…
Jon: “Marry Me Comic: The Internet’s favorite destination for the perennially dateless.”
… no, too easy.
“A little sad, actually.”
Sorta like Jon’s love life (not me Jon, that Jon)
Mandi: “Fine…but I’m throwing out there you aren’t the only god”
Never said I was the only one. I’m the most internet-savvy one, though.
And the only one who has a fixation for shower orgies and hot babes in wet-t-shirt contests. Bacchus, you ain’t got nothin on me.
Kori Umiame: “*shivers violently from the cold* agh dangit. >.< i was trying to avoid that.”
Which is why I did it. Hotties are even hotter when they look semi-angry and all cold.
“*looks at pander on the verge of a glare*”
Rowr.
“are you trying to make me sick?”
No, but if you’re feeling sick, the love doctor is in to cure you.
*queue bad 70′s music*
Marzipan: Frottage and callypagian (I hope I’m spelling that right) are my boyfriend’s favorite words.”
I’m guessing callypagian means a person who tends to call people Paige, even when its not their name. Very rude, actually.
“Guess what his favorite pastime is.”
Substitute for Nyquil?
Hrm no really. lemme think…
Probably something involving spreading the frottage on your callypagian, if he reminds you in any way of me.
“Aw, crap. I meant to put Emoticon typo!”
We all know what you meant, no worries my dear.
“emotypo?”
emo typos stare into the dep, drk absys fo hoplessness nad despir.
“I suppose he missed all of the references to boyfriends and fiances. A little sad, actually.”
Jon wants to be like me but he can’t. Some of us have excellent time management skills and can do both date and comment on a webcomic forum. I know. Amazing, isnt it?
“Hope you can keep the orgy going without me.”
Don’t worry, I’ve hired some temps.
“Kori, I’m counting on you.”
I’m counting on you too, Kori. I can count to 21.
I’ll explain this later, when Tirinka’s gone to sleep and can’t hear it.
Mandi: “I randomly thought of something while watching tv earlier…”
Random thoughts are this forum’s bread and butter, baby.
“Stasia’s bodyguard (i can’t remember his name at the moment)”
Denny
“should be played by Shaq…that was the general consensus…”
Yep. I think I’m the first one who mentioned that, actually.
“that random priest that marries Guy and Stasia should be played by Ben Stein.”
Bueller? Bueller?
Bill M.: “1b) Wait… so I won’t die even if I’m killed? Sweet…”
*points gun at Bill M.*
“2a) HALLELUJAH!”
*blam*
“2b) Pander? Share? It’d be easier to kill Sailor Moon.”
Annnnnnnnnd Boom goes the dynamite.
“It’s okay, I won’t die, even if I’m killed.”
Zombies don’t get nookie though.
“People also keep telling me not to be a hero.”
Good job.
“I couldn’t be a vampire?”
No you can’t be a vampire.
Actually you can be a Twilight-style vampire. Any women who want you then are women I do NOT want.
“Gotcha, no pokey in back unless you ask for it… wait, if I’m licking in the back, isn’t my tongue poking it?”
Bill M. has just legally changed his name to Marcal. Marcal Charmins.
Bleccch.
“Besides, there are some apple booties that inspire me to repeat a line from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle… “The things I would eat out of her ass! You have no idea!—
Whatever you say, Marcal.
Or do you prefer Mr. Charmins?
Marzipan: “they get. A black girl walked up to me once and said ‘dayam girl, I WANT that ass!’”
Um… she wasn’t saying what you think she was saying.
(S)he was obviously a trannie and wanted to have sex with you.
Which I guess is still a complement.
“I know, that’s a horrible racist stereotype.”
If I was black, I’d be more offended than when I watched a blaxploitation marathon on TV.
Nah I wouldn’t be actually.
“What’s more horrible is that it really did happen.”
Does her millkshake bring all the boys to the yard? Is your shake better than hers. Would you tell me more but you’d have to charge?
Mandi: “Also if you are God does that make Tool(band)Fan the devil??”
No. That would imply there’s somewhere that he actually belongs.
Bill M.:”Also, are you affected by lordosis (also known as swayback, colloquially)? It’s a curvature in the lumbar region of the spine that enhances the posterior profile for fanny fanatics such as myself”
Bill… that was way too wordy. Just put use simpler vocabulary (since we’ve already crossed the ‘stereotype’ line anyway):
Bill likes big butts and he cannot lie.
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she’s wearing
Bill’s hooked and he can’t stop staring
“I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung”
Pander: *glares* you are trying to get me sick…. you dirty man. XD and i hope you can count to four because that’s how many years until i’m 21… *goes and finds marzipan’s abandoned blanket*
Alex: I love how the banner says “new page every Friday!â€.
By that they mean whenever the hell they get to it…not that anyone really minds what with the 1000 posts we are trying to get to.
Pander: Actually you can be a Twilight-style vampire. Any women who want you then are women I do NOT want.
Why the hell do they sparkle and have no fangs!?! I actually read those books and own the movie…mostly because I love Robert Patterson…and people kept asking me if I read the damn things.
Pander: (S)he was obviously a trannie and wanted to have sex with you.
There is a tranny on my bus…it’s man name is Jason…I don’t think it has a woman name yet.
Kori:*glares* you are trying to get me sick…. you dirty man. XD and i hope you can count to four because that’s how many years until i’m 21… *goes and finds marzipan’s abandoned blanket*
And here is another minor…this is a first for me I’m usually younger than everyone in the room
Kori Umiame: “Pander: *glares* you are trying to get me sick….”
Of course not.
“and i hope you can count to four because that’s how many years until i’m 21… ”
Can we say 3 instead?
“*goes and finds marzipan’s abandoned blanket*”
No blankets. Hotties must warm up by using the hottub, shower orgy, or body head only.
As for the blanket, I buried it with a shovel, then I buried the shovel.
alex: “I love how the banner says “new page every Friday!â€.”
It’s to lull you into a false sense of confidence. Gotcha!
Mandi: “By that they mean whenever the hell they get to it…not that anyone really minds what with the 1000 posts we are trying to get to.”
It’s an admirable goal.
“Why the hell do they sparkle and have no fangs!?!”
They don’t need fangs. They kill you with pure angst and bad acting.
“I actually read those books and own the movie…”
Oh god no, why? You’re just encouraging them to make more movies like that.
“mostly because I love Robert Patterson…”
If you love him you’d do him a favor and beat him over the head with the shovel I buried the blanket with to knock some sense into him.
“and people kept asking me if I read the damn things.”
Please say no. Lie if you have to.
“There is a tranny on my bus…it’s man name is Jason…I don’t think it has a woman name yet.”
Amateur.
“And here is another minor…”
Nah she’s 18. She’s just trying to get me to not spray her with the hose again.
TheSkrilla: “No, I did not copy Pander. In my defense, his post was probably awaiting moderation at the time I wrote mine.”
Regardless, I like the Deadpool PSA and it still works.
TheSkrilla: In the immortal words of Sir Mix-A-Lot:
“I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprungâ€
every time I hear or see that song I immediately think of Donkey and Dragon
Myself: When are cameras EVER present during the best (and most unbelievable) moments of your life?? Of course I don’t have pictures. And I’m not sending you a picture of my butt, either.
Bill M: “If we ever meet, expect to hear that phrase again, just with a different meaning…
… unless she swung/swings that way…”
Well, you never know, in the blessedly more tolerant society we live in today…
But I just know you’ll say it with more love.
Yeah, I do have some lordosis– my lower back curves inward and my ab and back muscles have developed a bit strangely to compensate. I can’t stand still for long periods of time without some wicked aching. All the more reason to demand massage, right?
Another side effect besides the prominent ass that you might not think of is my upper back curves forward a little bit. Not quite a hunchback, but I’m tall enough to get the lumbering ‘yesss massster’ look going. *sigh*
Pander: “Bacchus, you ain’t got nothin on me.”
Actually, I do wonder if you’re some reincarnation of Bacchus. Except the whole legal thing. I highly doubt Bacchus cared much about the law. Particularly the statutory part.
“Probably something involving spreading the frottage on your callypagian, if he reminds you in any way of me.”
Ding ding ding! You win! Do you want the sportscar or the new house?
“Does her millkshake bring all the boys to the yard? Is your shake better than hers. Would you tell me more but you’d have to charge?”
Yes. On all counts.
“Bill… that was way too wordy. Just put use simpler vocabulary (since we’ve already crossed the ’stereotype’ line anyway):”
We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Or, to be slightly less obnoxious fangirl, *I* understood what he said, so bitchyer quitchin.
How DO you spell that, really?
“As for the blanket, I buried it with a shovel, then I buried the shovel.”
How did you bury the shovel without a shovel?
“If you love him you’d do him a favor and beat him over the head with the shovel I buried the blanket with to knock some sense into him.”
How? You buried it! And I don’t even know how you buried it!
TheSkrilla: Too late! Work on your timing, bro! )
*snuggles up to Kori* I’ll warm you back up!
Mandi: “Why the hell do they sparkle and have no fangs!?! I actually read those books and own the movie…mostly because I love Robert Patterson…and people kept asking me if I read the damn things.”
I thought they did have retractable fangs? I confess, I read the book too, and almost liked it. Wouldn’t watch the movie.
So how old are you? I used to always be the youngest (I started chat rooming when I was 13) but now I’m always older. My boyfriend is saying I’m old. Obviously I’m too wrinkly and saggy for him at 22. :’( He’ll just have to go rob the cradle again and I’ll teach you guys what’s what.
“every time I hear or see that song I immediately think of Donkey and Dragon”
Me too!!! And Dragon’s big pink tail swinging all over!
…And the village people doing the YMCA song.
I thought age of consent was 18? What’s this counting to 21? I admit it’ll be harder to get her DRUNK…
Marzipan: “When are cameras EVER present during the best (and most unbelievable) moments of your life??”
I have a camera crew following me around at all times.
“And I’m not sending you a picture of my butt, either.”
Again – Sir Mix-a-Lot:
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
“I can’t stand still for long periods of time without some wicked aching. All the more reason to demand massage, right?”
Take it away, Sir Mix-A-Lot:
I like ‘em round, and big
And when I’m throwin’ a gig
I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like an animal
Now here’s my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
“Another side effect besides the prominent ass that you might not think of is my upper back curves forward a little bit. Not quite a hunchback, but I’m tall enough to get the lumbering ‘yesss massster’ look going. *sigh*”
… Sir Mix-A-Lot has not prepared me for a response to this, sorry.
“Actually, I do wonder if you’re some reincarnation of Bacchus. Except the whole legal thing. I highly doubt Bacchus cared much about the law. Particularly the statutory part. ”
Even Bacchus does not want to wind up in jail as the boyfriend of a guy tattooed half-italian,half-polynesian dude named Bruno.
“Ding ding ding! You win! Do you want the sportscar or the new house?”
Yes.
“We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request.”
Sir Mixalot is more entertaining than what Bill said.
“*I* understood what he said, so bitchyer quitchin.”
No. And gimme my house and sportscar, woman.
“How did you bury the shovel without a shovel?”
I buried it with another shovel. Then I buried that shovel as well.
“How? You buried it!”
Details.
“*snuggles up to Kori* I’ll warm you back up!”
Yes. This is much better. Hug… close… that’s right…. it’s okay *gets out the videocamera* ok now…. rub her back a bit…. good, good, ok… now smell her hair.
“I confess, I read the book too, and almost liked it.”
You’re setting back the woman’s movement by saying that, you realize.
“I thought age of consent was 18? What’s this counting to 21?”
She’s 18. That’s what I’ll be telling the judge, too.
“I admit it’ll be harder to get her DRUNK…”
Jello shots.
At first I did say no then my mom bought me this special edition dvd with like 8 tons of special features and it was like $10 so I watched it…then I got the boos and read them…It’s what I do I haven’t found a job yet and really do have no life.
Marzipan: I thought they did have retractable fangs? I confess, I read the book too, and almost liked it. Wouldn’t watch the movie.
So how old are you? I used to always be the youngest (I started chat rooming when I was 13) but now I’m always older. My boyfriend is saying I’m old. Obviously I’m too wrinkly and saggy for him at 22. :’( He’ll just have to go rob the cradle again and I’ll teach you guys what’s what.
Nope, no fangs. They leave full on bite marks…it’s in the movie more than the book…plus I watched all those special features and Stephenie Meyer said they don’t have fangs. BTW I’m 19 only a few months away from 20…but I’m a November baby so at school when people found out my age at the beginning of the year they’d say stuff like “did you skip a grade” no I’m just the age curve damnit.
Marzipan: Me too!!! And Dragon’s big pink tail swinging all over!
…And the village people doing the YMCA song.
Mandi: “At first I did say no then my mom bought me this special edition dvd with like 8 tons of special features and it was like $10 so I watched it…then I got the boos and read them…It’s what I do I haven’t found a job yet and really do have no life.”
Actually, it would be quite easy to bury a shovel (without using another shovel.) The shovel is only required to dig the hole. After that, the dirt is loose enough that you don’t need the shovel to fill it back in, that is, if you’re not afraid to get a little dirty.
Kori Umiame: “and no pander we can’t say three XD that’d be a lie.”
Ok then. Just how hot are you then? I need to do a cost-benefit analysis of the jailbait vs hotness formula, invoking the Woody Allen corollary.
“mandi, heh i know how you feel being the youngest in the room XD i’m always youngest… o.o not here though i’m second youngest. ^^”
You know, even though I’m older than you, I’m extremely immature, so that should make us about even. That makes it legal. I know – I’m a lawyer. Trust me.
LazerWulf: “Actually, it would be quite easy to bury a shovel (without using another shovel.)”
And Pander wins!
“The shovel is only required to dig the hole.”
Pander really digs holes! Like … totally.
“After that, the dirt is loose enough that you don’t need the shovel to fill it back in, that is, if you’re not afraid to get a little dirty.”
Pander is not afraid to get a little dirty. Or a lot dirty.
Figuratively or literally. Cause we have a tequila shower orgy.
Kori: mandi, heh i know how you feel being the youngest in the room XD i’m always youngest… o.o not here though i’m second youngest. ^^
the weird thing is that people are extra weirded out by the fact that I don’t look my age…Like when I turned 18 I was in college and people were all like “You’re only 18!?!” It gets rather annoying
Okay first. *hands Kori Umiame an invisible blanket*
Second, the Church of Pander expands…no comment, too easy.
And finally…um…here’s some elephants! *brings in elephants*…don’t ask, I don’t know where I got them either
Ukimoni: “Okay first. *hands Kori Umiame an invisible blanket*”
*takes it away and buries it in an invisible hole with an invisible shovel, then buries the invisible shovel in another invisible hole*
No blankets unless after fornication. If you want warmth, use body heat or a nice warm shower orgy. So sayeth me.
“Second, the Church of Pander expands”
Not sure where you’re quoting…
“no comment, too easy.”
The Church of Pander fully endorses hot girls being too easy as well.
Pander: “*takes it away and buries it in an invisible hole with an invisible shovel, then buries the invisible shovel in another invisible hole*”
Really? Hmm I thought even you would be okay with that but oh well.
“Not sure where you’re quoting…”
Just in general. You know stating the obvious and such.
Mandi: Onion Carriage! We loved that.
LazerWulf: “Actually, it would be quite easy to bury a shovel (without using another shovel.) The shovel is only required to dig the hole. After that, the dirt is loose enough that you don’t need the shovel to fill it back in, that is, if you’re not afraid to get a little dirty.”
Damn you and your logic! I assumed he was digging a different hole to bury the shovel.
Pander: “You know, even though I’m older than you, I’m extremely immature, so that should make us about even.”
If we’re going by your mental age, that would make you even younger than Tirinka. And if we’re going by the fact that you’re a lawyer, then nothing you say is trustable.
Ukimoni: “Okay first. *hands Kori Umiame an invisible blanket*”
Now that is a very efficient solution. Very good.
Pander: “No blankets unless after fornication. If you want warmth, use body heat or a nice warm shower orgy. So sayeth me.”
HelLO, I’m snuggling under the invisible blanket with her! What do you THINK this is going to lead to??
At least Ukimoni is smart. She almost makes up for you definite lack of common sense.
Marzipan: “HelLO, I’m snuggling under the invisible blanket with her! What do you THINK this is going to lead to??”
Exactly!
“At least Ukimoni is smart.”
Aw, shucks. Not really.
“She almost makes up for you definite lack of common sense. ”
…Woah wait. “She”?!?! Yeah, no I’m male thank you.
Marzipan says: “Well, you never know, in the blessedly more tolerant society we live in today…
But I just know you’ll say it with more love.
Yeah, I do have some lordosis– my lower back curves inward and my ab and back muscles have developed a bit strangely to compensate. I can’t stand still for long periods of time without some wicked aching. All the more reason to demand massage, right?
Another side effect besides the prominent ass that you might not think of is my upper back curves forward a little bit. Not quite a hunchback, but I’m tall enough to get the lumbering ‘yesss massster’ look going. *sigh*”
Okay, now all that would make you the perfect woman in my view would be long, flowing red hair and cute glasses. I would definitely volunteer too give you lower-back massages to ameliorate the pain associated with your lordosis, and if I’m not the best you’ve ever had the first time out, I’ll get better with time.
“We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Or, to be slightly less obnoxious fangirl, *I* understood what he said, so bitchyer quitchin.
How DO you spell that, really? ”
Nice verbiage… and I’ve seen clothing with the Kwitcherbitchin logo which is really just a compound misspelling of quit your bitching…
“How did you bury the shovel without a shovel?”
I assumed heavy machinery was involved… any of the different types of loaders would do.
“used to always be the youngest (I started chat rooming when I was 13) but now I’m always older. My boyfriend is saying I’m old. Obviously I’m too wrinkly and saggy for him at 22. :’( He’ll just have to go rob the cradle again and I’ll teach you guys what’s what. ”
Wow… 22. So the difference in our ages is only 10 years… that’s not bad. My parents had a 17 year gap in their ages.
Pander: “You know, even though I’m older than you, I’m extremely immature, so that should make us about even. That makes it legal. I know – I’m a lawyer. Trust me.”
Since when can you trust lawyers??
“No blankets unless after fornication. If you want warmth, use body heat or a nice warm shower orgy. So sayeth me.”
Agh! Sorry Ukimoni!
Genders are tough.
It’s just so easy to assume that a smart idea came from a girl. It’s a compliment to you, really.
Bill: “Okay, now all that would make you the perfect woman in my view would be long, flowing red hair and cute glasses.”
Um, well I have the cute glasses. And flowing hair. Damn redheads steal all the glory.
“I would definitely volunteer too give you lower-back massages to ameliorate the pain associated with your lordosis”
I could live with this.
“and if I’m not the best you’ve ever had the first time out, I’ll get better with time.”
Oh, from what I’ve heard from you so far I’m sure your creativity will make up for any lack of direct experience.
“I’ve seen clothing with the Kwitcherbitchin logo which is really just a compound misspelling of quit your bitching…”
I just like bitchyer quitchin. I’m lysdexic like that.
“Wow… 22. So the difference in our ages is only 10 years… that’s not bad. My parents had a 17 year gap in their ages.”
Well, the boyfriend is five years older than me, which made old jokes a lot less relevant to you guys without knowing that. Oops. But yeah, I like older men.
Ukimoni: “Really? Hmm I thought even you would be okay with that but oh well.”
I can never resist using a running gag.
“Just in general. You know stating the obvious and such.”
Rookie mistake, I guess.
Marzipan: “Damn you and your logic! I assumed he was digging a different hole to bury the shovel. ”
Logic… the one thing you never expected from me! Ha!
“If we’re going by your mental age, that would make you even younger than Tirinka.”
Wait, does this mean I can say lewd things to her as well now?
“And if we’re going by the fact that you’re a lawyer, then nothing you say is trustable.”
Nonsense, we are a noble profession that will sue you into oblivion if you say otherwise.
“HelLO, I’m snuggling under the invisible blanket with her! What do you THINK this is going to lead to??”
…. you make a good point, young padawan.
But warming up in a nice shower orgy means you’d also be naked. Which scores bonus points.
If it was scrabble, then it would be like using a Q and Z and to make the word Quizzical on a triple word score whie using all of your tiles.
Ukimoki: “…Woah wait. “Sheâ€?!?! Yeah, no I’m male thank you.”
What you were saying didn’t seem very mannish, I guess. I, on the other hand, am utterly manly.
Bill M.: “Dude, that hurt. I may not die when I’m killed, but I’m not invulnerable.”
Don’t listen to the hype, sure you do.
“One word… necrophilia…”
You can have any of the girls who are into that, k?
“I would definitely volunteer too give you lower-back massages to ameliorate the pain associated with your lordosis,”
Bill, if she’s into necrophilia, you’re all set!
“and if I’m not the best you’ve ever had the first time out, I’ll get better with time.”
Something very funny here about the fact that this is being said by a virgin.
Mandi: “Since when can you trust lawyers??”
Since forever, come June.
“Hmmm…cuddles or shower orgy…it’s a tough decision”
You can cuddle after we’re done with the shower orgy. In the shower.
Then another orgy.
Marzipan: “Genders are tough. ”
I heard that’s one of the new things that Barbie says in her new doll, Trannie Barbie. “Genders are tough!”
“Oh, from what I’ve heard from you so far I’m sure your creativity will make up for any lack of direct experience. ”
I’m sure that you might be able to give him direct experience in other areas which he hasn’t gotten yet as well in return.
“I just like bitchyer quitchin. I’m lysdexic like that. ”
It’s like a sitcom. Lordo and the Zomb.
Or Zombie and the Lord.
no wait, that sounds like some bad religious horror movie.
Marz you realize I say this with love, right?
“Well, the boyfriend is five years older than me, which made old jokes a lot less relevant to you guys without knowing that.”
Woah woah waitasec.
Bill, she’s got a guy already. She’s just usin’ you for your massages.
Laslo: “So, seriously…when is the next page coming??”
It’s coming to a theatre near you.
Oh, Bobby, this comic was hilarious! xD “YOU’RE AN IMPOSTER!” Almost wet my pants laughing. At least I didn’t forget I was peeing, eh, Parker? -shit-eating grin- Anyways, this was a great story. I hope to read more soon!
Back to the original topic, Sailor Moon is a classic — which is another way to say it’s passe. If you want a more recent reference to anime magical girls and Japanese moon mythology, try googling “getsumen to heiki miina”. The series is jet-propelled lunacy (pardon the pun) with decidedly overendowed magical bunny-girls bashing and blasting obsessed space-alien sports-fanboys with fruit- and vegetable-based weaponry. It’s a lot more fun than the nutshell description probably makes it sound….really. On the other hand, Sailor Moon is probably more appropriate here, given that this is a flashback to the past…
Marzipan says: “Um, well I have the cute glasses. And flowing hair. Damn redheads steal all the glory. ”
Well, let’s see… epic booty, glasses w/ long hair, not a redhead. In the immortal words of Meat Loaf, “2 out of 3 ain’t bad,” and in the immortal words of Weird Al Yankovic, “I know I probably couldn’t ask for too much more, I honestly can say you’re an above-average lady, You’re almost just what I’ve been looking for…”
“I just like bitchyer quitchin. I’m lysdexic like that. ”
Oh well, pobody’s nerfect.
“Well, the boyfriend is five years older than me, which made old jokes a lot less relevant to you guys without knowing that. Oops. But yeah, I like older men. ”
Ah, I see…
Jon Pander says: “Pretty much what I already said, Bill.” I know that’s what you said, but I was proffering up the Gilbert & Sullivan version, which is much more apropos for me, due to my pigmentation.
“It’s like a sitcom. Lordo and the Zomb.
Or Zombie and the Lord.
no wait, that sounds like some bad religious horror movie.”
Hmm…
Zombies For Jesus! I get it now… that SO needs to go on a t-shirt.
Toss in Romans 12:1 on there for good measure…
“Bill, she’s got a guy already. She’s just usin’ you for your massages.”
Pander, I’m not as handsome as you. And as Red Green says, “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” I can live with just being her massagist… and before I forget, you also out-humble me…
Oh grow up Kat. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before, and it’s not like it won’t happen again. Seriously, don’t you have a life you can go live while you wait? Or is this all you’ve got? Waiting for the next page to go up in some webcomic?
Pander: “Logic… the one thing you never expected from me! Ha!”
Yeah, for def. The only other thing I’d never expect is you using your northern head first.
“Wait, does this mean I can say lewd things to her as well now?”
…oh, I’m not even touching that one. Tirinka, you’re on your own.
“…. you make a good point, young padawan.
But warming up in a nice shower orgy means you’d also be naked. Which scores bonus points.”
Showers are so annoying. After you get out it starts evaporating so I get cold, and I’m all damp, and then the wet hair starts ruining the mood…
“I, on the other hand, am utterly manly.”
*snicker*
“Marz you realize I say this with love, right?”
*snicker*
“Bill, she’s got a guy already. She’s just usin’ you for your massages.”
If he gets (theoretical internet) sex out of it, what the hell does he care???
I’m only dating my guy for his money.
And he’s watching me type this and giggling.
Mandi: “wow these conversations are getting more and more weird…NEW PAGE NEEDED!!”
I definitely agree. I’ve just been staying away from the necrophilia silliness because it’s too silly for me.
And I’ve heard on good authority that zombie rape is better than sparkly vampire rape.
Judas: I agree the jerk comment may have gone too far but I think Kat’s comment was typed with love. Even those of us who do have lives are tired of waiting.
Pander: “What you were saying didn’t seem very mannish”
Probably because it was intelligent.
“It’s coming to a theatre near you.”
In 3D no less.
“You can cuddle after we’re done with the shower orgy. In the shower.
Then another orgy.”
I thoroughly support the plan of action.
Mandi: “Wouldn’t that be a little tough…cuddling in the shower…someone could get hurt”
Hmm, this needs researching. Why don’t you practice with someone in the shower and we’ll see if anything happens.
Judas: “Seriously, don’t you have a life you can go live while you wait?”
Woah, people who comment on this have lives? Where do you get these…lives?
Mandi: “wow these conversations are getting more and more weird…”
Yes. Let us harken back to the days of pie fights and tequila shower orgies with lesbian and bi-curious vampire babes.
You know, the non-wierd stuff.
“It’s already there it just hates us right now and is hiding.”
Actually I’ve already seen the next 5 pages (because I’m awesome), and let me tell you, it’s incredible.
Though the part about the cheez whiz and the yak was slightly disturb-oh wait I shouldnt spoil the startling twist in the story.
Kat: “Really? It’s been like a month.”
It’s been 35 minutes. Your watch must be hella slow.
“Jerk.”
…. toolfan? Is that you?
You know, naming yourself a female name and calling Bobby jerk won’t protect you from the Bobby-wrath when he lays a smackdown on you, you realize. Bobby is equal opportunity when it lambasting people who whine.
“Way to string us along.”
I feel your pain. Sorta. Ok actually I don’t.
Um… are you hot? I’m conflicted if you are, because you sound whiny and annoying, but if a girl is a hottie I tend to be willing to overlook it. I have some doubts as to your gender though as well.
Girls don’t tend to talk like that, cause… they’re like… smart and stuff. I think. Right?
Judas: “Seriously, don’t you have a life you can go live while you wait?”
No she doesn’t. This is all she’s got, man! Feel her pain!
“Or is this all you’ve got?”
Yep! Her computer doesn’t even get any other websites, and she’s been stabled in front of that computer and had her eyelids taped open. Feel…her…pain.
“Waiting for the next page to go up in some webcomic?”
Ok at least feel her up if you’re not gonna feel her pain, man.
Oh my comments are typed with love as well. It’s just a bitter, angry, hateful love, but love none-the-less. And I guess I must just be more patient than others. The singular benefit to having grown up with my sister I guess. If one can learn the patience to deal with her… “uniqueness”… one can learn the patience to deal with anything. Even a webcomic that’s a month late.
Judas: “It’s just a bitter, angry, hateful love, but love none-the-less.”
I just thought of a new type of Hallmark valentine’s card!
drakfeld: “Dear God! Update already!!!!”
Never!
Bobby does not comply with terrorist demands!
Judas: “Wait a sec, haven’t we mocked this kid repeatedly for his bitchin’ about when this comic updates?”
For some people, complaint posts are like Lays Potato Chips. No one can have just one.
Btw, I wonder why my last two posts are still awaiting moderation.
Marzipan: I definitely agree. I’ve just been staying away from the necrophilia silliness because it’s too silly for me.
And I’ve heard on good authority that zombie rape is better than sparkly vampire rape.
Mandi: Ooh… the sparkles… they burn…
This one time I decided my best friend needed her own vibrator so we went to the G-Spot to buy one. The guy there was really nice and let us take them out and turn them on to decide if we like one, and we were really loving this glitzy sparkly one… until we turned it on and got a sparkle shower. And decided my best friend didn’t really want to be cleaning those things out of her vagoo for years.
I was thinking more of the increased physical strength…but ok
“This one time I decided my best friend needed her own vibrator so we went to the G-Spot to buy one. The guy there was really nice and let us take them out and turn them on to decide if we like one, and we were really loving this glitzy sparkly one… until we turned it on and got a sparkle shower. And decided my best friend didn’t really want to be cleaning those things out of her vagoo for years.”
In the words of Demetri Martin, “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies…it never really goes away and every time the sun comes out…FLARE UP!!”
Innocence dies very quickly here.
Man, I LOVE Demetri Martin and I almost never see his show. But putting vibrators, glitter, and herpes into the same conversation is a pretty surefire way of killing the mood. Judas, we ended up buying her a very functional one– the tip twisted around for G-spot maximization.
jmkool: Yes, and I’m quite curious as to what the average age is of those reading this. *raises eyebrow*
I think that we have a range of 13 to about 32…I’m not sure totally of the max age here….Its the lowest that is the problem isn’t it.
Marzipan:Man, I LOVE Demetri Martin and I almost never see his show. But putting vibrators, glitter, and herpes into the same conversation is a pretty surefire way of killing the mood. Judas, we ended up buying her a very functional one– the tip twisted around for G-spot maximization.
He had a Comedy Central skit show but it is over for the season…I’m not too sure it’s going to come back.
Also, there was talk of vibrators and no Pander comment!?!
Average age? Meh, doesn’t matter. I could be a sixteen year old girl pretending to be a thirty year old man. But no one would believe that.
Y’know, once, several years ago, I was a residential and small commercial window washer. I had a job once, in a fair sized residential home; a married couple with three young kids. That was the normal part. While I was cleaning the windows in the living room I happened to be right over the movie stand. Being a vaguely curious person, I looked at some of the titles. I admit to being quite surprised to see the hardcore porn right in there with the kids movies and everything else. I mean, I generally tend to keep stuff like that, y’know, AWAY from my daughter’s movies, cause I don’t want to answer some questions yet.
But the surprises didn’t end there. When I ventured upstairs to wash the windows in the master bedroom, I found I had to step over the bed to get to them. So I did. And stepped straight onto the squishy red gel vibe that had been left on the floor. Now, already having seen where they keep the adult movies, I was less surprised than I might otherwise have been. I was not happy however, when the damn thing stuck to my shoe. So I looked for a place to kick it, after I shook it off. I figured around the head of the bed couldn’t go wrong. Yeah, about that. My wife keeps all her fun things in a box or drawer. These people? not so much. Couple pairs of handcuffs, some leather, multiple feet or rope, more pleasure toys, and so on.
Right. I figure that’s it. What else could there be? Then I turned around and looked at the window. This window was on the second floor in a fairly nice suburban neighborhood. Facing a couple other houses, with windows in such places, that looking into this window I was standing in front of wouldn’t be overly hard. In fact, it’d be damn easy. As I pulled out my wash bar, I saw one last thing. At roughly waist height, all along this window, there were all kinds of white-ish stains. I’m sure you can figure out what that meant.
Now, why am I telling this story? Well, it came up a few days ago while swapping crappy job stories with some people I know. But then I got to thinking, with some of the people around here, and things what have been said and I wondered…
Judas, that was a VERY good deduction. Except it would involve Pander having a wife!
So you have a daughter? How old? (The curiosity of a Marzipan can never be sated.)
That’s an awesome idea though. The kids are bored and see a new movie to watch, with a really cool name… La Blue Girl. They’ll never be the same.
Mandi: I really hope Important Things comes back. I liked it a lot more than I thought it would. But between Judas and Pander, I don’t think our max (chronological) age is 32. Max mental age, I’d give a 22. Guess how old I am?
Judas: “I am intrigued by this talk of sparkly vibrat-y things.”
Who isn’t?
jmkool: “And I came along wanting to innocently ask when the next comic was due…”
And who’s fault is it that you’re naive about what really goes on in webcomic forums? Hm?
Mandi: “In the words of Demetri Martin, “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies…”
You just made my childhood arts and craft projects feel so dirty now.
“Innocence dies very quickly here.”
Thank you. Actually I prefer for it to go through a long agonizing torture first, but it’s so fragile.
jmkool: “Yes, and I’m quite curious as to what the average age is of those reading this.”
Usualy an extremely mature 13 or an extremely immature 28.
Mandi: “Also, there was talk of vibrators and no Pander comment!?!”
Sorry. Due to all the talk of vibrators and vagoo and G-spots, both of my hands were busy so I couldn’t comment right away.
Judas: “I admit to being quite surprised to see the hardcore porn right in there with the kids movies and everything else.”
Ah yes. Debbie does Barney. Good times.
They both love, after all.
“My wife keeps all her fun things in a box or drawer.”
Go on….
“Couple pairs of handcuffs, some leather, multiple feet or rope, more pleasure toys, and so on.”
Which reminds me I need to go shopping.
“Pander, was I in YOUR house?”
The white stains were only waist high right? Mine have a lot more height to them.
matthew: “so when should we epect the next update”
I’ll answer this question, people.
Matthew?
Yes.
Marzipan: “Judas, that was a VERY good deduction. Except it would involve Pander having a wife!”
When everyone know I instead have a harem of hot babes.
“So you have a daughter? How old?”
Is she as mature as Tirinka?
“(The curiosity of a Marzipan can never be sated.)”
Unlike other things about Marzipan.
“The kids are bored and see a new movie to watch, with a really cool name… La Blue Girl.”
Yeah, the kids will probably expect every pizza delivery boy, pool cleaner, and police officer to start removing their clothes when they come to the door in real life.
@Jon Panda. Thanks to the above post the last quivering vestiges of my innocence has now been fully erradicated. Are you happy now, does this give you a warm glow…….it should I was laughing my ass of the whole time.
Marzipan: “I really hope Important Things comes back. I liked it a lot more than I thought it would. But between Judas and Pander, I don’t think our max (chronological) age is 32. Max mental age, I’d give a 22. Guess how old I am? ”
I have no talent with guessing ages when I can actually see the people…no way am I guessing on here
“That’s an awesome idea though. The kids are bored and see a new movie to watch, with a really cool name… La Blue Girl. They’ll never be the same.”
The destruction of children’s brains should be left to those asshole teachers they have by 5th grade that tell them there is no Santa or Easter Bunny.
Pander: “Sorry. Due to all the talk of vibrators and vagoo and G-spots, both of my hands were busy so I couldn’t comment right away.”
Way more than I needed to know thanks.
“Yeah, the kids will probably expect every pizza delivery boy, pool cleaner, and police officer to start removing their clothes when they come to the door in real life.”
Hmmm…don’t these movies usually have child inappropriate covers on them!?!
kailuun: “Thanks to the above post the last quivering vestiges of my innocence has now been fully erradicated.”
Okay, 1) are you female.
If so, then 2) You might say I’ve deflowered you via the internet.
If not, then 3) My bad.
“Are you happy now,”
Quite.
“does this give you a warm glow…….”
Sure nuff.
“it should I was laughing my ass of the whole time.”
I’m here every Tuesday and Thursday. Try the veal.
Mandi: “The destruction of children’s brains should be left to those asshole teachers they have by 5th grade that tell them there is no Santa or Easter Bunny.”
Yknow, as a jewish person, I know why Hannukah never caught on as much as Christmas or Easter. It’s because we have not mastered the art of creating wood-animation holiday shows.
All the tin soldiers — melt them down
Wash the face of every clown
Each bouncing ball — deflate it
No, I don’t want to debate it!
The ballerinas who pirouette
Arrest their musical toes
Outlaw the dolls and sink the boats
They bring me only woes!
It’s a difficult responsibility
That you accept from the Number 1 lawmaker, me
Have it known throughout the land from sea to sea
There’ll be no more toy makers to the King!
“Way more than I needed to know thanks.”
It would have been rude for me to not respond, my dear.
“Hmmm…don’t these movies usually have child inappropriate covers on them!?!”
*shrug*
zane: “My god when will there be another update?”
1) Same answer as to Matthew. Yes.
2) Your ‘God’ can not help you now. Muhahahahaha
Matthew & Zane: Seriously, is that all you’ve got? Whining about updates? go away until you can meaningfully or at least entertainingly contribute to the conversation. Updates show when they show. Not before. And if this artist is like others, he’ll delay the update just to be spiteful since you can’t be patient like the rest of us.
Marzipan: She’s six, soon to be seven. And funny you should mention La Blue Girl. that lead to a long and amusing conversation. I walked in the door after a long day at work, and the first thing that my wife and her sister said was, “Why does it glow?” It took me a moment to realize the box with all the anime was spread out all over the floor. Ah, good times.
Pander: Honestly, after all else, I didn’t check for stains above the window. And having a harem doesn’t automatically mean not having a wife. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Man never lacked for variety. Though I note you did not deny kids.
Mandi: Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…
As far as inappropriate covers, that’s usually what makes small boys want to watch them. haven’t you noticed almost all men have this thing about women’s bodies and what things you can put where, and if you have a little creativity, how far you can take that philosophy?
Judas says: “Zombie rape, the new necrophilia. Somehow more appropriate on Last Blood. Oh well.”
Dang, I talk over there, I’m told to go here. I talk here, I’m told to go there.
Marzipan says: “Showers are so annoying. After you get out it starts evaporating so I get cold, and I’m all damp, and then the wet hair starts ruining the mood…”
Brigitte Bako’s post-bath scene in the Red Shoe Diaries movie is now springing to my mind…
drakfeld says: “Dear God! Update already!!!!”
Don’t say that! The last time God updated, we lost bikini supermodel doctors, and got Paris Hilton.
Marzipan again: “This one time I decided my best friend needed her own vibrator so we went to the G-Spot to buy one. The guy there was really nice and let us take them out and turn them on to decide if we like one, and we were really loving this glitzy sparkly one… until we turned it on and got a sparkle shower. And decided my best friend didn’t really want to be cleaning those things out of her vagoo for years.”
1) They named a store after the Grafenberg Spot?
2) The Questionable Content’s comic #1379 is springing to mind.
Jon Pander says: “Yknow, as a jewish person, I know why Hannukah never caught on as much as Christmas or Easter. It’s because we have not mastered the art of creating wood-animation holiday shows.”
Not only a lawyer, but a Jewish lawyer? Ugh, stereotype. Pander, part of why Hannukah isn’t super-appreciated is the Maccabeean uprising isn’t part of the Christian canon, but is seen as deuterocanonical. It’s hard to believe they’re not canonical while the Song of Solomon is, and Jews were forbidden to read that until they were 30. Also, the Hasmoneans were usurped by the Herodians who made a deal with the Romans for control of Judea. On top of that, the dreidel could’ve been a nice cartoon, but Adam Sandler took too long in coming up with his Hannukah song.
Judas: “Pander: Honestly, after all else, I didn’t check for stains above the window.”
Adrian Monk, you are not.
“Though I note you did not deny kids.”
I decline to say anything until the paternity test is finalized.
“Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…”
Technically, as a harem girl, she needs to start making sure my hands don’t HAVE to be busy.
Bill M.: “Dang, I talk over there, I’m told to go here. I talk here, I’m told to go there.”
Now go to Dreamless.
“The last time God updated, we lost bikini supermodel doctors, and got Paris Hilton.”
And that’s when I decided to take over the job. Enough was enough.
“1) They named a store after the Grafenberg Spot?”
Don’t kill him, people. He’s a virgin. He don’t know any better.
“Not only a lawyer, but a Jewish lawyer? Ugh, stereotype.”
But true.
And my brother is a doctor.
My mom is a very happy jewish mother, as a result.
“Pander, part of why Hannukah isn’t super-appreciated is the Maccabeean uprising isn’t part of the Christian canon, but is seen as deuterocanonical.”
No. It’s the wooden animated figure problem. Trust me.
“It’s hard to believe they’re not canonical while the Song of Solomon is, and Jews were forbidden to read that until they were 30.”
We’d even be happy with a halfway decent claymation holiday special, but nooooo…..
“Also, the Hasmoneans were usurped by the Herodians who made a deal with the Romans for control of Judea.”
I mean… the closest we’ve ever gotten was ‘Eight Crazy Nights’. But that’s just standard animation, not wooden or claymation animation.
“If that, the dreidel could’ve been a nice cartoon,”
If ZZTop was jewish, they’d probably be called Taf Taf Dreidel. They sorta look like rabbis already, at least 2 of them.
“but Adam Sandler took too long in coming up with his Hannukah song.”
Not to mention his cartoon.
Abby: “wow, the comments are just about as interesting as the comic.”
We update the comments quickly.
“if i had known what i was missing out on…”
you’d have participated in the shower orgy discussion far sooner?
Pander: “Sorry. Due to all the talk of vibrators and vagoo and G-spots, both of my hands were busy so I couldn’t comment right away.”
Well that was something we needed to know. Ewwwwww.
“’(The curiosity of a Marzipan can never be sated.)’
Unlike other things about Marzipan.”
So not true. Ask Mandi.
“Yeah, the kids will probably expect every pizza delivery boy, pool cleaner, and police officer to start removing their clothes when they come to the door in real life.”
Which could make their arrest record reeeeally interesting.
Haha, per kailuun you’re now a Panda.
“If not, then 3) My bad.”
If not then you just deflowered a guy via the internet? Now that amuses. I’ll just leave you boys alone now…
Judas: “It took me a moment to realize the box with all the anime was spread out all over the floor.”
Hahahahahahaha… nice.
Bill: “Don’t say that! The last time God updated, we lost bikini supermodel doctors, and got Paris Hilton.”
And that’s why I’m agnostic.
“They named a store after the Grafenberg Spot?”
We had a store named the G-spot. Had.
“The Questionable Content’s comic #1379 is springing to mind.”
Between this and the Red Shoe Diaries movie, I really need to know more about everything. What?
“Not only a lawyer, but a Jewish lawyer? Ugh, stereotype.”
Hey, I’m a white female social worker. I hate fulfilling stereotypes as much as the next idiot, but sometimes they’re stereotypes because they’re just really appropriate. *shrug* I’ll still have more respect for a gangsta lawyer or a dude social worker.
“On top of that, the dreidel could’ve been a nice cartoon, but Adam Sandler took too long in coming up with his Hannukah song.”
That was the only part of that whole thing I understood. Agnosticism strikes again.
Pander: “My mom is a very happy jewish mother, as a result.”
You do realize the trend of the new generation is to make parents UNhappy, right?
Crap, I graduated college. I made my parents happy.
We’re both generational failures, Panda.
Pander: “It would have been rude for me to not respond, my dear.”
I could have delt with it.
Judas: “Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…”
Newbie…so not so much
“As far as inappropriate covers, that’s usually what makes small boys want to watch them. haven’t you noticed almost all men have this thing about women’s bodies and what things you can put where, and if you have a little creativity, how far you can take that philosophy?”
This is true…also boys are about twice as likely to play with themselves while getting diaper changes then girls are.
I’ve searched there, Crow Scare, +EV, Sorethumbs, Superosity, and Wickedpowered, couldn’t find forums there anywhere.
“Don’t kill him, people. He’s a virgin. He don’t know any better.”
Seriously, you’re that into sex and you have no knowledge of the Grafenberg Spot? The spot that the Jewish German doctor Ernst Grafenberg found debunking Freud’s theory that all female orgasms were clitoral? Also, it amazed me that it was named that. Do you see any sex stores called The Vulva, the Labia, or The Quim? I could see The Grotto, the Southern Tulips, or The Gates to the Garden, but something seems off when you name stores after obvious body parts, especially the sexual ones.
Marzipan says: “Between this and the Red Shoe Diaries movie, I really need to know more about everything. What? ”
We all need to know more about everything… and the Red Shoe Diaries movie was originally called Wild Orchid 3: Red Shoe Diaries. It stars David Duchovny (X-Files & Californication), Brigitte Bako (Dark Tide), and Billy Wirth (stuntman & contestant on the original season of American Gladiators).
Judas says: “Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…”
Actually, I thought harem girls were supposed to provide what occupied the hands, but having no experience with them, I could be mistaken…
Bill M.: “Seriously, you’re that into sex and you have no knowledge of the Grafenberg Spot?”
I have enough knowledge that I know it’s distinctly not sexy if you call it the Grafenberg Spot.
“The spot that the Jewish German doctor Ernst Grafenberg found debunking Freud’s theory that all female orgasms were clitoral?”
Yes I know. You’re making it less sexy by explaining it.
Virgin mistake.
“The Vulva, the Labia, or The Quim?”
I saw a Seinfeld episode involving the vulva.
Mulva!
“I could see The Grotto, the Southern Tulips, or The Gates to the Garden, but something seems off when you name stores after obvious body parts, especially the sexual ones.”
No, it’s when you name them after the scientific nomenclature for the obvious body parts that it seems off, because it’s less sensual.
Again – Virgin mistake
“Actually, I thought harem girls were supposed to provide what occupied the hands, but having no experience with them, I could be mistaken…”
No, no you’re right as well on this. They’re supposed to occupy my hands, while at the same time doing what my hands would otherwise be doing.
Pesky: “This is like my 200th time reading just this page and I STILL bust up into hysterics!”
Wait until you’ve read it for the 2000th’ time
Absolute hilarity.
Marzipan: “Well that was something we needed to know. Ewwwwww. ”
I find it important to offer full disclosure.
“Which could make their arrest record reeeeally interesting.”
Though if all they watch is pornos, they will probably have a very different concept of what it’s like to be in jail.
“Haha, per kailuun you’re now a Panda.”
Who what in the what now?
“If not then you just deflowered a guy via the internet?”
Stop trying to make me gay. This is not ‘Sex in the City.’
“And that’s why I’m agnostic.”
Ahem? Church of Pander. Where bikini supermodel doctors still roam free.
“We had a store named the G-spot. Had.”
And it wasn’t called the Grafenberg spot because G-spot is sexy. Grafenberg spot is not.
“I’ll still have more respect for a gangsta lawyer or a dude social worker.”
I’m a very gangsta lawyer.
“That was the only part of that whole thing I understood. Agnosticism strikes again.”
Dredels are toy tops which apparently my religion decided is the toy which all jewish kiddies must play with on Hannukah.
I think they need to update it to a Playstation 3 or an Xbox 360 or a Wii.
Update the song too. Instead of:
Dreidel Dredel Dredel
I made it out of clay
And when it’s dry and ready
A dredeil I shall play
Make it:
Xbox 360,
I bought it at the store.
And when I’m done with one game
I’ll buy a hundred more
“You do realize the trend of the new generation is to make parents UNhappy, right?”
I prefer having money. Anotther jewish stereotype fulfilled.
“We’re both generational failures, Panda.”
This generation sucks anyway. Glad to be rebelling from it.
Pander: I never officially joined the Church of Pander. I just bounce from group to group. Nobody objects.
“Dredels are toy tops which apparently my religion decided is the toy which all jewish kiddies must play with on Hannukah.”
I know what dreidels are. South Park, duh. I didn’t understand the REST of that paragraph.
“No, it’s when you name them after the scientific nomenclature for the obvious body parts that it seems off, because it’s less sensual.”
It can be plenty sensual… if smart guys turn you on. Bill’s obviously going for nerd sex, and more power to him. *jumps Bill*
Marzipan: “I never officially joined the Church of Pander. I just bounce from group to group. Nobody objects.”
A part time girl in a shower orgy is better than no shower orgy girl at all.
“I know what dreidels are. South Park, duh.”
Yes, the show has been a boon to the state of education and religious knowledge, I admit.
“I didn’t understand the REST of that paragraph.”
I mean that they should update the requirement of playing with a wooden top with the requirement of playing with a video game system. I then compared the old song which is traditionally sung while playing with the dreidel with the new song that I have proposed when playing with the Xbox 360.
“It can be plenty sensual… if smart guys turn you on.”
You get hot from Stephen Hawkings, don’tcha.
“Bill’s obviously going for nerd sex, and more power to him. *jumps Bill*”
Maybe Bill M is actually Bill N.
Bill Nye.
But you know, usually the smart guys get the hot girls when the smarts have also gained money. Revenge of the Nerds is a lie.
Judas: “Ah the Jewish lawyer, left behind in preference for the nerdy smart guy.”
1) Meh I’m a smart guy who’s not a nerd. With money. Go figure.
2) Anyone on the internet can be smart thanks to Wikipedia.
“And then I laughed.”
Confuscious say, “When having safe computer sex, wear keyboard cover.”
I make it a general rule never to use the computer of someone who has a keyboard cover. Though utilitarian in principle, I believe they are ever only used for one purpose, and I just don’t need that crap on my hands.
A smart guy, but not a nerd, with money, and you still have to trawl the internet looking for women? Hrm. I’d comment, but I think pointing it out is enough.
Hey, I’d jump Bill Nye, too.
Except according to the Simpsons he’s Jewish, and thanks to Pander Jews are a turnoff.
And Revenge of the Nerds is NOT a lie, I have a nerd who proved them right– before he got a girl he spent all his time thinking of ways to please her.
Mandi: “at least you get chocolate coins out of it”
Rather have the real coins.
Then they could buy a PS3/Xbox360/Wii.
“Have you ever seen a clay dreidel?? Because I haven’t”
Apparently before they were made of wood and plastic, they were made of clay.
“I do actually have a hot pink plastic one though…I got it in like 4th grade”
Hot pink. The most religious of all the colors.
“More accurate for kids now.”
I am nothing if not forward thinking.
“Wikipedia is the awesome…as was stated earlier…also I’m surprised that post got on here.”
Which post?
Marzipan: “Hey, I’d jump Bill Nye, too.”
How about Beakman? Would you jump Beakman?
“Except according to the Simpsons he’s Jewish, and thanks to Pander Jews are a turnoff. ”
1) You’re going to make me invoke Godwin’s Law again, arent you.
2) Ok so you wouldn’t jump Beakman then.
3) How about Lester the Rat. He’s not jewish. Guy in a rat suit turn ya on?
Row-squeak?
“And Revenge of the Nerds is NOT a lie, I have a nerd who proved them right– before he got a girl he spent all his time thinking of ways to please her.”
Better way for a nerd to get a hot girl is to invent something and make lots of money.
I know I’m not up on everything that happens in this forum but I gotta say this is fairly hilarious. Hilarious indeed. I just wish there was an occasional update of story to go with the witty banter y’all are so fond of.
Jessi: “Has this comic been pushed aside for the development of the Dreamless storyline?”
It’s been pushed aside because of Bobby’s Ninja training. I thought I made this clear.
kate: “I know I’m not up on everything that happens in this forum but I gotta say this is fairly hilarious.”
This brings forth a few questions.
1) Are you hot?
2) If so, would you like to join the Church of Pander?
3) Wear this T-shirt (goes to get the hose and the videocam)
“I just wish there was an occasional update of story to go with the witty banter y’all are so fond of. ”
Respect Bobby’s ninja training.
It cuts into storytime, but he’ll learn 93 ways to kill a man with his pinky. A fair trade.
Bobby: “Never. I’m simply lazy.”
Keeping the ‘ninja’ thing under wraps, huh.
“Keep in mind that I didn’t write a single graphic novel page for six months late last year.”
Wasn’t paying attention to that. I’m far too self-involved.
Mandi: “Hmmm…I ‘m pretty sure there is a large amount of time between the two.”
He has a stunt double for the presidential gig, while he goes to his first priority, the furry convention.
“That’s Mossad not ninja…”
The Mossad is very open to allowing ninja into their fold, actually.
There are plenty of jewish ninja, in fact.
The problem is you don’t realize there are two types of jewish divisions.
The first is ashkenasi. Those are the jews you’re probably more familiar with. They are the ‘I can do your taxes,’ ‘I’m good at making a situation comedy,’ ‘I get good grades in school’ jews. And occasionally, in my case, they’re also obsessed with wet t-shirt contests and shower orgies.
The second is safardic jews. They are the ‘watch my machine gun while I take a leak’ jews. They’re the kung fu, chuck norris jews.
btw, I can say this because, in the words of Jackie Mason, it’s funny because I’m jewish, so I can say this. If I was not jewish…. not funny so much.
“but he can learn how to slice someone’s head off without leaving obvious evidence.”
That too.
Jon Pander says: “I saw a Seinfeld episode involving the vulva. Mulva!”
I never watched that episode, but when that lawsuit came about when a boss was discussing the episode with some female employee, I figured the name in question was going to be Regina or Delores. Regina was fresh on my mind from watching the second Moriarty episode of ST:TNG.
Marzipan says: “It can be plenty sensual… if smart guys turn you on. Bill’s obviously going for nerd sex, and more power to him. *jumps Bill*”
Ah… seduced by the size of my medulla oblongota. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go casserole someone…
… yes, casserole. Not in the Hannibal way, in the innuendo way. Ugh, look casserole means to do slowly for several hours…
Jon Pander again: “The second is safardic jews. They are the ‘watch my machine gun while I take a leak’ jews. They’re the kung fu, chuck norris jews.”
“The problem is you don’t realize there are two types of jewish divisions.
The first is ashkenasi. Those are the jews you’re probably more familiar with. They are the ‘I can do your taxes,’ ‘I’m good at making a situation comedy,’ ‘I get good grades in school’ jews. And occasionally, in my case, they’re also obsessed with wet t-shirt contests and shower orgies.”
Otherwise known as the creepers.
“The second is safardic jews. They are the ‘watch my machine gun while I take a leak’ jews. They’re the kung fu, chuck norris jews.”
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin…he has a third fist covered with beard.
“btw, I can say this because, in the words of Jackie Mason, it’s funny because I’m jewish, so I can say this. If I was not jewish…. not funny so much.”
Unless there are no jewish people around when you say it…just like all racist jokes.
Lol I spelled racist wrong and rapist came up as a spelling suggestion.
Wait wait wait….she’s NOT Sailor Moon? CRAP! I have been reading this comic since day one and NOW you hit me with this?! I’ve been completely wasting my time! Thanks for nothing! I THOUGHT you were doing a particularly poor job of drawing her!
Bill: “Ugh, look casserole means to do slowly for several hours…”
Yeah, even I think that casserole is a pretty unfortunate verb to use.
“Ah, yes, the Jew Jitsu masters.”
Don’t forget about Jewdo (per Christopher Moore.)
Dammit, Pander went there. Stop ruining my jokes!
Nah, just haven’t seen every episode. When a show’s about nothing, what’s the point in watching it all the time?
“What was the name of the famous jewish gunslinger?
Billy the Yid”
I was thinking of Irving, the 142nd fastest gun in the West.
141 could draw faster than he, but he was looking for #143.
He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread,
With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head.
He always followed his mother’s wishes,
Even on the range he used two sets of dishes.
“What’s the name of the best known jewish rap group?
Two live jews.”
Marzipan says: “Yeah, even I think that casserole is a pretty unfortunate verb to use.”
Well, I’d just heard some gal talk about how she wanted Pierce Brosnan (or some other suave actor) to casserole her, friends thought she meant caress, but she went to the dictionary and explained her meaning. I added more, due to Pander & my discussing “Silence of the Lambs” several comments earlier.
Mandi: “He also doesn’t sing little bunny Foofoo…referencing an earlier comment haha”
He did that because he likes his victims to have a smile on their face remembering him doing that before they die.
Marzipan: “Dammit, Pander went there. Stop ruining my jokes!”
I didn’t ruin them. It’s still funny even when you said it, because I said it first.
Bill M.: “When a show’s about nothing, what’s the point in watching it all the time?”
The forum chat we’re having is about nothing, yet you are an active participant in that as well.
“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Live_Jews”
I made them exist with the power of my mind, apparently.
‘Oy it’s so humid’ and ‘As Kosher as We Wanna Be’ are two of their songs, apparently.
“I added more, due to Pander & my discussing “Silence of the Lambs†several comments earlier.”
Jon Pander – making others add funny trivia since 2008.
Mandi: “I’m sure it’s been longer than that…and only a few more posts until we reach 400!!”
Before that was mostly gaining street cred. I wasn’t the phenom I am now.
“Are You Hot?”
Hell yes I’m fricken gorgeous. I’m six feet at tall all tits, ass and legs, do you read Menage a 3? Think Didi with curly brown hair…and I’m not lying.
“Would you like to join the church of Pander”
No thanks, I don’t believe in organized religion or God, any God…not even you, pander.
Enjoy your video camera, I’ll be far away laughing and hiding, if you can find me then you get a reward.
Bill M.: Well, I’d just heard some gal talk about how she wanted Pierce Brosnan (or some other suave actor) to casserole her, friends thought she meant caress, but she went to the dictionary and explained her meaning. I added more, due to Pander & my discussing “Silence of the Lambs†several comments earlier.
I’m pretty sure that using a type of food as a sexual innuendo doesn’t really work unless the food is involved…
kate: “I’m six feet at tall all tits, ass and legs,”
1) You qualify. Put on this T-shirt. *gets the hose*
2) Everything a woman needs. Me likey.
“do you read Menage a 3?”
Couple of times in college, but luckily it was the 2 babes one guy thi- oh wait… read?
“Think Didi with curly brown hair…and I’m not lying.”
Thank god you told me the Menage a 3 reference or I’d have been thinking of Dexter’s Laboratory, who’s all legs (not in a good way unfortunately) and lacks the other two vital aspects.
“I don’t believe in organized religion”
Don’t worry, we’re far from organized.
Put on the T-shirt.
“or God, any God…not even you, pander.”
I can promise you’d have a religious epiphany after a night with me.
“Enjoy your video camera, I’ll be far away laughing and hiding, if you can find me then you get a reward.”
I’ll send the squad out. Be right there.
kate: “Depends really, I can’t speak french and I can’t cook and I’m pretty sure I’m not bisexual”
But otherwise exactly like Didi. I need to have an actual hands-on experience to confirm though. Get in the shower.
Ellie: Only 400? After the comic hasn’t been updated for so long? I’m surprised Pander. You must be getting slow.
We’re just moving slowly because of last time we almost got to 1000 and Bobby put up a new page…It doesn’t count if there is a new page before you hit 1000.
Pander: Couple of times in college, but luckily it was the 2 babes one guy thi- oh wait… read?
Yeah I expected that when I read the Menage a 3 comment.
“[everything you said in your previous post that I'm too lazy to look at and retype]”
I’ll put on your t-shirt, fine, but I can’t promise to like it until I know what it says. And as for the hose…bring it!
Religious experience you say? I’ve had many a religious experience after a long sweaty night…what makes you think you can change my world?
My shower’s a little small for two, my bathroom as well, but I guess we could squeeze or something. Sorry I don’t have a Canadian beaver on my…Michigan beaver…you’ll have to make due, I don’t deal well with whiners.
Ellie: “Only 400? After the comic hasn’t been updated for so long? I’m surprised Pander. You must be getting slow.”
I’ve been busy with making money and stuff. Sorry.
Plus I think the last time we almost reached 1000 and fell just short has taken the wind out of our sails a bit.
Mandi: “Yeah I expected that when I read the Menage a 3 comment.”
I’ve been looking for an excuse to brag about it, also.
“Also why is there no church of pander website…”
1) Don’t know how.
2) It would probably be adrift among the millions of websites on the internet involving shower orgies and hot babes in wet t-shirts anyway.
Judas: “One would think you’d want to post faster then. The quicker you approach 1000, theoretically the faster the comic gets updated.”
Wasn’t it around this point during the 1000 post quest that you asked when Godwin’s law would be invoked btw?
kate: “I’ll put on your t-shirt, fine, but I can’t promise to like it until I know what it says. And as for the hose…bring it!”
It says nothing. Just a white T-shirt. Perfect for …..
*sploooosh*
“Religious experience you say?”
Amen.
“I’ve had many a religious experience after a long sweaty night…what makes you think you can change my world?”
I suppose I’ll have to show you in order to convince you.
“My shower’s a little small for two, my bathroom as well,”
I have a huge one.
Oh, the shower’s big too.
“but I guess we could squeeze or something.”
I like this girl.
“Sorry I don’t have a Canadian beaver on my…Michigan beaver…you’ll have to make due, I don’t deal well with whiners.”
One sec, setting up the video cam.
Kate: “Depends really, I can’t speak french and I can’t cook and I’m pretty sure I’m not bisexual lol.”
Well, up until recently Didi didn’t know she was either…
And I can live with the not speaking French, everyone (who lives so close to Mexico) knows that Spanish is the language of love.
Can’t cook though… that might be a dealbreaker. How else will we get to the kitchen orgies??
Ellie: “Only 400? After the comic hasn’t been updated for so long? I’m surprised Pander. You must be getting slow.”
Believe it or not, we ran out of stuff to talk about. Few new people and no spider monkey to push the forum rating from PG-13 to R. And Pander won’t believe this, but there is just so much talking about Pander we can do before we run out of things to talk about!
“Also why is there no church of pander website…â€
Isn’t that what this forum is?
Judas: “Actually I think it was around 600 odd. I have no desire to check and corroborate though. I don’t have that kind of care in me.”
I know, I almost went back and read from when the comments were funny… but then I didn’t want to dredge through all the pissing contests.
Marzipan: “Well, up until recently Didi didn’t know she was either… ”
She didn’t know she was french? what a ditz.
“And I can live with the not speaking French, everyone (who lives so close to Mexico) knows that Spanish is the language of love.”
German is the language of constipation.
“Can’t cook though… that might be a dealbreaker.”
There are other things that can be done with the food.
“How else will we get to the kitchen orgies??”
I sense my influence upon you.
“Believe it or not, we ran out of stuff to talk about. Few new people and no spider monkey to push the forum rating from PG-13 to R.”
I miss that girl.
“And Pander won’t believe this, but there is just so much talking about Pander we can do before we run out of things to talk about!”
I don’t believe it.
“Isn’t that what this forum is?”
All the info, none of the upkeep.
kate: “You’d be surprised how much people “like†me. I’m told it has something to do with my hip movements but lord only knows what THAT means.”
Hips don’t lie.
And you’re startin’ to feel me now
Come on let’s go,
real slow
Don’t you see baby asi es perfecto
Corinne: “I’m getting the distinct impression that Bobby’s left the room,”
Nah, he’s still watching and occasionally posting. This amuses him.
archont: “Almost 2 months now… wow, that’s a new record oO”
pfft. hardly.
You too Judas. Always nice to see my king alive and kicking…It’s also nice to know that even when I disappear for several months, my comments can still arouse responses in at least three people ^__^
Mandi: “I finally got my new laptop so I can post retarded comments from my bed room…or in this case my living room…or in like three months my dorm!!”
That’s the power of modern technology!
john: “annnnd we wait for the next installment with BAITED FUCKING BREATH!!”
I agree with one of the last three words. Guess which.
Judas: “Arouse… Nah, too easy.”
Nothing wrong with a girl being easy.
Let’s see, addressing the 2 month wait for a new strip of the non-sexual kind…
Other comics way outdo that. Staccato relaunched July 14th last year with a new layout and a new strip, we’re still waiting on new strip #2. I forget others right now that I’m still waiting on a new page from that have a longer record than that.
Pawn. ‘s been almost 2 years. Vg cats, another one that updates rarely. Chugworth Academy’s got a good sputter sputter record, with months or longer between strips. Same with the guy’s new comic Boss Noodle. Progress bar’s been stuck at 4 for over a month now. Directions of Destiny, long time no update, with a “Sorry I ‘things and stuff’ updates begin again in ‘month/day’”. You get a couple strips and he vanishes.
Man the list goes on and on.
So yeah, I’m used to it. No, I don’t care if comics don’t get updated. Hell, Neil Gaiman had a very rational take on all these people who feel so entitled to a page exactly when they think it should be there (or anything else that didn’t arrive right when expected).
Haha, I think I actually read Directions of Destiny once XDD Then I noticed it never updated. But yeah, it IS a long list. I know I can add No Rest for the Wicked up there. It updates once in a great while, but it’s always worth the wait. Same thing with Undertow. I dunno, if you know that you like a comic, then waiting for a new one isn’t too big a deal. That’s why I’m glad I read so many ^_^
Bill M., Judas, and Ellie: Yeah, but can you list off all the comics that DO update regularly?
I’m not a hardcore comic reader, so all I can list are Sinfest, Least I Could Do/Looking For Group, Menage a 3, Order of the Stick, and Sister Claire (mostly– apparently recently the author/artist tried graduating from college, moving to Belgium and updating all at once, and guess which one got left behind.) And I can’t really say that comics updated rarely makes them that much more precious when they do, because I love the plotlines of all those comics in their extreme regularity. :/
I understand Gaiman’s stance on readers feeling entitled to something which is not theirs in the first place, but on the other hand Lar Desouza and Ryan Sohmer, the creators of LICD/LFG, maintain that the number one mark of professionalism in webcomics is making a schedule and sticking to it.
…Then again, if no one cares about professionalism in webcomics, then I suppose that doesn’t matter.
Can I add to that list of regular updates? Sure. Misfile M-F. Only things that stopped him so far are a couple hurricanes and a death in the family. longest streak of away? 4 days that I remember, and fully justified. Questionable Content, M-F. Misses a day here and there, but rarely. Candi and Wapsi Square. Also regularly on time. Gunnerkrigg Court, Red String, [comic title removed by Bobby Crosby], Between Failures, Errant Story, and Flipside. Sometimes they take occasional breaks, but they let you know when, and for how long. Usually for normal real life reasons, vacation, marriages, moving, that kind of thing. Then there’s a whole host of comics that update once a week or every two, or longer, but have specific update dates, that I won’t bother to list. And that’s just the ones I bother to follow. There’s a lot more that I don’t follow that still update regularly, but meh.
Either way your point is valid. If you like the story, and are willing to wait for updates, great, all power to you. I like the story for Marry Me, and Last Blood, and Bobby has all my verbal support and kudos. He’s doing something I’ve often thought about but never wanted to dedicate the time to. And I don’t really care if he’s sporadic. the story is worth the wait, and I have all kinds of other things to do to occupy my time. So I check back on the comic once in a while, laugh at the new page, read the comments and go on my merry way.
As far as professionalism? That’s for professionals. Most webcomic artists are amateurs. Maybe not in their art or writing, but most aren’t doing this for an honest to god living. A lot of them have real jobs that take up their time, and friends and families that take up the rest. The comic is the thing they do to relax, blow of steam, be creative or what have you. And those that are doing this as a job and can’t keep to updates? Whole different can of worms.
So yeah, there’s lots of comics that keep to their schedule, and far more that don’t. That’s just life. Keep doin’ what you’re doin’ Bobby. Like your story, and the comic. When the next page goes up, I’ll be around to check on it. Unless I’m in BCT by then. In the meantime, I’ll just keep throwing out the random comment that I do on occasion.
EDIT BY BOBBY CROSBY: Removed piece of shit comic that no one should ever read.
“And those that are doing this as a job and can’t keep to updates? Whole different can of worms.”
I’m doing it as a job. What I care most about is movie deals, though, which new pages of “Marry Me” can’t help with, since the film’s story is already done and printed ages ago. Same for “Last Blood.” Which is why I’ve written 22 pages of “Dreamless” this year and far less of anything else.
Congratulations on following you dream then (At least I assume it’s your dream). It’s more than most people do.
Though I can’t help but be curious. I keep hearing about movie deals, but never anything other than the odd rumor. What are these movie deals you speak of (assuming you can tell)? Anything I should watch for, or that may have already come out but I have not heard of yet?
Fan that is. Though to know there are other works that involve movie deals and whatever goes along with that makes not updating other works make so much more sense. And gives people even less reason to complain.
And comics of completely different sort (but also updating regularly): Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic (every day save a couple for A LONG TIME), The Dreamland Chronicles (also M-F), Irregular Webcomic (Another every day, possibly more reliably than YAFGC); Evil Diva (M-W-F) has been doing as well as Order of the Stick since I found it. “Key” has been remarkably consistent also
“Aww, not a far of [removed title]? Can’t help but laugh and wonder why.”
One of their early strips (2002) made fun of one of my comics, and it’s an incredibly horrible comic obviously.
TheDeepDark: You’re talking about comics done by people who like comics and like writing. I hate writing and I hate comics. And to anyone who disgustingly asks yet again “Then why are you doing them???”: Google it, I’ve answered it 8,000 times (literally by now), and I essentially answered it in my previous comment.
Well, I have several webcomics I follow that update at least twice a week.
(Ones not mentioned yet, to my knowledge)
Sandra and Woo, which follows a girl and her raccoon.
Shadowgirls, which is about a girl and her mom dealing with fish monsters trying to take over the world.
Jefbot, a webcomic by actor Jeff Shuetze
Girl Genius, by legendary Phil & Kaja Folio, still going despite Kaja’s illness
Count Your Sheep, nice, simple webcomic (done by the guy who’s now in charge of God Mode)
The Devil’s Panties (also has Geebas on Parade and was in the Iron Man Daily Grind competition)
[REMOVED], Legostar Galactica, Sore Thumbs, And Shine Heaven Now, and Questionable Content…
I also occasionally check in on weeklies like L’il Formers, Multiplex, Joe Loves Crappy Movies, Nothing Better, Flaky Pastry, and Ansem Retort, along with others that seem to have no set schedule of updating.
However, none of them move me as much as Marry Me. I got drawn in after reading a few pages, but then again, no other webcomic makes it so easy for me to cosplay as the male lead…
EDIT BY BOBBY CROSBY: Removed a couple horrible comics by total pieces of shit. Any discussion about this will result in banning.
Beware of the normal looking posts…here there are none as can be seen by this:
Bill M.: However, none of them move me as much as Marry Me. I got drawn in after reading a few pages, but then again, no other webcomic makes it so easy for me to cosplay as the male lead…
Oh my goodness, SO MANY webcomics out there… and everyone is always ‘This one is SO GOOD you should read it!!!’ but I simply don’t have time to follow every webcomic recommended to me!!! Life sucks.
I should set up shop as a reviewer so I can just read all day.
…Except I’m sure there are about a million web reviewers already, and some of them might actually be able to form coherent thoughts and know how to spell (as opposed to the OMG TIHS COMIC ROXXXXX(or SUXXXXX) U SHUD READ IT!!!!!!!!!!)
…and I can’t believe that that’s the most obnoxious blogger typing I can pull out. Truly pathetic.
Mandi, all it takes for me to cosplay as Guy is to not shave for two days, match up my shirt color, and get some posterboard to make the sign. I’ve already got everything else down pat…
Bobby, not trying to discuss the removed webcomics, it is your forum, I shall try to refrain from talking about webcomics not written by you anymore. I realize my tastes are not everyone’s, and I’m not trying to force anyone to miss out on that good ol’ Mac goodness over at Last Blood, the awesomeness over at Dreamless, the outting of Osama Bin Laden as Jimmy Peterford’s mom over at Sore Thumbs, Harold’s antics as he annoys Corbin in +EV, the endless cycle at Wickedpowered…
I’m sorry, but no amount of money in the world will make me say anything good about Superosity… dang it, I had a chance there…
So…are there any people who randomly leave comments who are artists that would like to work on a comic that I am writing?? You won’t get paid but you can use it to build up your portfolio if you want to become a professional artist…otherwise I’m going to have to talk my cousin’s girlfriend into doing it for me…or have it become like my joke one that I haven’t updated in almost a year that no one even looks at.
Also Bobby how do you set up the pages that you give to Remy??
Just out of curiosity, since I’ve suddenly become hooked on both this and Dreamless, do you have any plans of finishing “When Parker Met Guy” before you set a new record of not updating?
I know you’re extremely busy, but you’ve got a lot of talent and you should show as much as you can.
Wow the randomness is so soothing I might just have to stay forever >D
And now a poem for Bobby
Love ya Bobby kisses and stuff,
And if that don’t make it plain enough,
Love ya cause you rock and roll,
Like awesome epic dudes of old,
Which ones you might want to ask,
Well that I fear would be quite a task,
Suffice to say you rock the world,
But what do I know I’m only a girl.
Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Try the veal.
I hate using those but it was needed…my mom went on here because she saw me reading it and she said that she liked the story but that Pander is going to go to hell…she didn’t say why however…it’s either the fact that he is calling himself god or the whole immorality thing.
Glad you liked it Bobby =D. And now cause I’m on a role here’s one for Pander,
Here let’s take a good ol gander,
At a guy by the name of Pander,
He’s got him some chops,
So lets give him his props,
He say’s he’s a god,
Which I find a bit odd,
He talks about orgies,
But claims no abilites,
Except that old immortality,
Which if you ask me is a technicality,
How does he prove it you have to ask?
Ah who cares please raise your glass,
To a man named Jon Pander,
A man who ain’t afraid of candor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to think of a ryhme for orgies?
Batgirl said: “Do you have any idea how hard it is to think of a ryhme for orgies?”
Cheese, peas, freeze, disease… seriously, rhyming is easy, especially when you’re not trying to be sleazy. Rhyming purple is dull, and finding a rhyme for orange led me to grunge, but rhyming orgies is fun on a trapeze.
It’s so nice to find a forum of intellectual people… until the topics turned to more questionable things. It definitely entertained me though. Bobby, your work is amazing. I also read Dreamless and admire your ingenuity in your scripts. Keep up the good work.
As for the amusing comments, I’ll continue reading those just for the humor. It isn’t often one can find something that actually makes them laugh. Or is that just me? Huh.
Bill M: Cheese, peas, freeze, disease… seriously, rhyming is easy, especially when you’re not trying to be sleazy. Rhyming purple is dull, and finding a rhyme for orange led me to grunge, but rhyming orgies is fun on a trapeze.
What can I say I was writing on about two hours of sleep and everything just sounded sleazy =D and as I make it a rule to not creep people out unless I have a nodding aquaintence with them, it was even harder than usual.
batgirl: orgies: more-Gees? for me?
You didn’t say it had to be a GOOD rhyme, right?
Nice vocabulary, though, to get gander and candor to rhyme with Pander.
“I make it a rule to not creep people out unless I have a nodding acquaintance with them”
Huh… I usually tend to creep people out just by being awake and present. I plan to dedicate a massive team of scientists to study what it is about being able to stand up straight and look someone in the eyes that most people find disconcerting.
”Huh… I usually tend to creep people out just by being awake and present. I plan to dedicate a massive team of scientists to study what it is about being able to stand up straight and look someone in the eyes that most people find disconcerting.”
Marzipan: You didn’t say it had to be a GOOD rhyme, right?
Nice vocabulary, though, to get gander and candor to rhyme with Pander.
It dosen’t have to be good but it does help with the return cringe factor if I can at least look myself in the eye for having written it. More people should read dictionarys is all I’m saying.
Judas: Huh… I usually tend to creep people out just by being awake and present. I plan to dedicate a massive team of scientists to study what it is about being able to stand up straight and look someone in the eyes that most people find disconcerting.
That my friend is a rare and wonderous gift, treasure it for all your days.
Ro: It doesn’t help that your eyes are on fire.
Flamin’ eyes of DOOM! On another note you might wanna get thoese looked at ^^;
Mandi: “my mom went on here because she saw me reading it and she said that she liked the story but that Pander is going to go to hell…”
Oh Mandi, I can’t stop laughing now. Think she’d mind if I quoted her in any advertisements I do for the Church of Pander?
And Jon, just look at that, you earn a stronger and more emotional opinion than the comic you use as a base for your posts. My most admiring congratulations.
Flamin’ eyes of Doom, huh? Could be. I’m wouldn’t be surprised if my internal rage at the general stupidity of the many people i must deal with on a daily basis is starting to leak out my eyes..
I love how great comis like these ones die with no warning because GREAT artists and writers add more and more comics to their to-do list. GREAT IDEA GUYS!!!! JUST FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!! -complete scarcasam if you were to retarted to tell-
Allie: You spelled retarded wrong, for one, and secondly the comic itself is finished. If you paid attention, this part “Where Parker Met Guy” is a SIDE STORY, and therefore not actually part of the comic. Bobby just started it for the readers, but he’s busy with more important things like Dreamless. Instead of complaining, why don’t you just go read that one?
Also Jessica I doubt she would…the ads could say The Church of Pander – Now with a 95% chance of going to hell!!
And I concur with Samiya…you can easily tell because 1 it says it in the descritpion of the comic and 2 no one is really pissed that there has been no update in a while.
April 13th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Ha, what a classic. the title sorta gives it away though…
April 13th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Fantastic!
April 13th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I love this page too. xD
I certainly wasn’t expective Sailor Moon.
April 13th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
April 13th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Wow I thought that would work out differently
April 13th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
And I’m so glad people aren’t saying “first!”
April 13th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Now the real question is- Does he think he’s Tuxedo Mask?
April 13th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
SAILOR FUCKING MOON WHAT THE HELL!?
April 13th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
AHAHA! Priceless!
April 13th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Okay, honestly, unexpected plot twist.
Seems he really WAS hallucinating.
Fantastic.
April 13th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I wonder what other anime he watches.
April 13th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
totally didn’t see that coming, thought he was serious in that last page. haha
April 13th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Awesome. She lies!~ She lies!
April 13th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
You think that’s bad? I thought Parker said Oh My Goddess!
April 13th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Oh that’s gonna be a classic now.
April 13th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Personally, I think Sailor Mercury is cuter.
April 13th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
I was wondering about that last comic, since it seemed unlikely Guy really meant Parker when he talked about his crush. Have to say those, this is… not any less shocking.
Never took Guy for a weeaboo.
April 13th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Hahaha I love it! This story is epic!
April 14th, 2009 at 12:03 am
SO HE WAS hallucinating Parker as someone else. Stasia must be relieved as who wants there husbands’ ex-crush now best friend hanging around?
Unless of course Guy is just messing with her.
April 14th, 2009 at 12:14 am
So if Sailor Moon is a lie….does that mean the cake is real?!
yeah, I crossed an anime and game reference, but what can I say? I’ve had Portal on the brain lately XD
April 14th, 2009 at 12:27 am
XD Oh god… Oh god… my sides…
I CAN’T BREATHE. SERIOUSLY. HELP.
XDDDDD
April 14th, 2009 at 12:41 am
You know Bobby, with all this crazy ‘updating’ and stuff, it’s almost like you’re trying to make it so that I can never attain 1000 comment posts.
Btw, I think Guy -does- need to play a game of Stayed Tied Up.
Steff: “I certainly wasn’t expective Sailor Moon.”
No one ever expects Sailor Moon.
I mean cmon… Sailor Moon’s disguise is foolproof.
Tool(band)fan: “And I’m so glad people aren’t saying “first!—
Twenty-second!
Dark Chili: “SAILOR FUCKING MOON WHAT THE HELL!?”
Is that her middle name? The cartoon never really went into that. I know her first name was like… Serena or something.
Cloud’s Apprentice: “Okay, honestly, unexpected plot twist.”
It’s like the Sixth Sense!
“Seems he really WAS hallucinating.”
Or Parker really is Sailor Moon.
Which means Sailor Moon is a lesbian vampire.
I almost want to watch it now. I don’t. But almost. I wonder if there would be shower orgies if I did watch it… hrm.
Chuck: “I wonder what other anime he watches.”
Definitely hope not Vampire Hunter D, for Parker’s sake.
rgz: “You think that’s bad? I thought Parker said Oh My Goddess!”
In my mind she said, “Oh no! Moon Sailor Power ACTIVATE!”
LazerWulf: “Personally, I think Sailor Mercury is cuter.”
Sailor Jupiter.
Actually I’m pretty sure if I look on deviantart I can probably find a Sailor Scout shower orgy in a few minutes.
Dan: “SO HE WAS hallucinating Parker as someone else. Stasia must be relieved as who wants there husbands’ ex-crush now best friend hanging around?”
Waitasecond….
Sailor Moon is blond and wears skimpy clothes.
Stasia is blond and wears skimpy…. clothes…
Oh my god!!!!!!!!
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
CI: “So if Sailor Moon is a lie….does that mean the cake is real?! ”
No. But there is a spoon.
“yeah, I crossed an anime and game reference, but what can I say? I’ve had Portal on the brain lately XD”
And I upped the ante by including a movie reference.
And apparently now a poker reference.
Luneabelle: “I CAN’T BREATHE. SERIOUSLY. HELP. ”
Quick, undo her clothing! This woman can’t breathe!
April 14th, 2009 at 12:45 am
@Jon Pander: Was “ay” supposed to be “eh”? If you’re going to make fun of our colloquialisms, then spell them right
Would I win back some cool points if I claimed (with no ability whatsoever to prove it on the internet) that I am at least as pretty as Danica McKellar?
How about if I pointed out that I am no longer a physics major, and am only missing it right now because I had about eight billion essays to write this semester?
Also, I would probably follow you on twitter too.
@Caity: Thanks for trying to save my cool points for me. And of course you must keep commenting!
@LazerWulf: I thought they were all prettier than Sailor Moon. I agree with Darian’s nickname of “Meatball head.” Her hair is weird. Plus she’s so freaking whiney.
April 14th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Ok That was different!
But Sailor Moon that wasn’t just out left field that was in the skybox bathroom.
April 14th, 2009 at 1:12 am
Hah! Sweet! I was right about Guy hallucinating that Parker was someone else.
Pander: “Is that her middle name? The cartoon never really went into that. I know her first name was like… Serena or something.”
Actually, her name was Usagi…and I’m going to shut up about that now. :::shifty eyes:::
“And I upped the ante by including a movie reference.
And apparently now a poker reference.”
And I’m going to through in a video link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fz2_NkyTv8E
Because if you like/play portal, you should watch it. Actually, even if you haven’t you should, because it’s just plain funny.
Jessica: “Thanks for trying to save my cool points for me. And of course you must keep commenting!”
No problem! Happy to be of assistance hehe…although, perhaps, when doing the contracts, you should remember that *someone* was trying to take *away* cool points ^.~ hehe
April 14th, 2009 at 1:47 am
“Actually, her name was Usagi…and I’m going to shut up about that now. :::shifty eyes:::”
Against my better judgement, thought I should clarify. Usagi (which if I remember correctly, means ‘Bunny’ more or less) is the character’s name in the original Japanese. However, when the series was dubbed to broadcast in English, whoever was doing it changed the character’s name to Serena.
And now I should really stop…although there are some other interesting changes that were made that would likely catch certain people’s interest *cough* Pander *cough*
April 14th, 2009 at 3:14 am
xD
lmao
And Pander–The Sailor Moon series does contain lesbians
But Sailor Moon herself is not one of them…
April 14th, 2009 at 3:47 am
Caity: Sailor Moon’s civilian name was changed from Usagi to Serena for a few reasons. In the original Japanese, her full name (in Eastern order of Surname Given-name) is “Tsukino Usagi” which is a pun of the phrase “tsuki no usagi” which means “The Rabbit of the Moon,” which is the Japanese version of the American Man in the Moon. Since they figured American viewers wouldn’t get the rabbit reference, they decided to name her “Serena,” which is a derivation of “Serenity” which is her (moon) mother’s name, in both versions. (Although, in the English manga adaptation, she is named “Bunny.”)
Alicia: The Sailor Moon series only contains lesbians if you go by the original Japanese version. In the American dub, they were changed to *ahem* friendly cousins. The first season had a gay male couple, too, but they dubbed the effeminate one (Zoicite) as a female to get passed the censor board. The final season has three transgendered characters (male in civilian form, but female as Sailor Senshi), which is probably why it was never dubbed.
Jessica: While I’m spouting out useless trivia, in the original Japanese, Mamoru (Darian) calls Usagi “odango-atama” (atama=head). It was changed to “meatball” because most Americans have no idea what odango is.
Pander: I always felt that the magic of their transformations clouds the judgment of all but those who actually see them transform, so that they are never able to put two and two together. And, before you ask, yes, I am Otaku.
April 14th, 2009 at 4:00 am
@Alicia: Plus, they get semi-naked almost every episode when they transform.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Hahahahaha!
April 14th, 2009 at 5:23 am
I only went to bed for 8 hours and this happens how did all these comments get here!?!?!?
April 14th, 2009 at 6:02 am
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
I watched that show when I was in like 3rd grade…after a while it got ridiculous even for an anime.
And as for some of them being lesbians I’m pretty sure that is completely true…they were ones that showed up in later seasons or something
April 14th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Hallucinating otaku FTW! ☺♥
April 14th, 2009 at 6:41 am
LMAO Ok that had me sitting here at my desk getting very strange looks from my co-workers because I was laughing so hard.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:39 am
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
This page made me gigglesnort.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:40 am
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha XD Poor Guy
April 14th, 2009 at 7:49 am
@Jon Pander: Are you sure? There’s gotta be at least one person who can see through her.
April 14th, 2009 at 8:02 am
I genuinely can’t stop giggling. Guy’s face in that last panel. I think I might have to go to the hospital if I look at it again.
April 14th, 2009 at 8:15 am
THE GIRL IS A LIE!
April 14th, 2009 at 8:15 am
The Sailor Moon part made me laugh pretty hard.
April 14th, 2009 at 9:05 am
This was spectacularly brilliant and so caught me for a loop. I love this series so much, I even bough the hardback edition, even though I already had it all on my iPhone lol
April 14th, 2009 at 11:11 am
She looks more like Sailor Mars.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Who is Sailor Moon? And why should I care? I figure it’s an anime, but I’ve never heard of it. And I used to watch a lot of anime in the early part of the decade.
April 14th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I think somebody needs a trip to there happy place.
Or a meeting with a mallet, shovel and hole in the backyard
April 14th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
LazerWulf: Yeah, I was aware of that, but thanks for the info anyway
I try not to reveal all of my geekiness, past and present, too much at a time. If I spread it out, maybe it won’t seem as bad haha ^.~ But along the lines of things changed for America, don’t forget about Fisheye, who was a guy in Japan but made a woman for the English series.
I had an anime/manga phase and still enjoy it from time to time, but when I was really into it, I always preferred subbed to dubbed, and thus I always refer to the originals, rather than the English versions.
April 14th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
All I can say is “Well Played….”
April 14th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
@ all the Sailor Moon clarifications
Sadly, I knew most of this stuff already.
If I had a choice, I’m like Pander here, Sailor Jupiter.
The lesbians (cousins if you watched the Americanization) are Uranus & Neptune.
The “bunny on the moon” is actually supposedly a rabbit who lives on the moon who makes rice cakes for children, the MapleStory MMORPG has a party quest where you deal with a rice-cake making bunny, DragonBall (not Z, not GT, and not the awful live-action movie) has Goku put a bunny creature on the moon as pennance for his crimes where he’ll make bunny-shaped rice cakes for a year as pennance, and that’s all I can think of that reference it.
Here’s some info on it (moon bunny):
http://www.dimaggio.org/AIG/Newsletters/Newsletter%207.htm
or maybe this rabbit…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_rabbit
Okay, since Guy is an anime fan (albeit different shows than I like, apparently), I am more convinced that Guy is me in a parallel universe. The glasses, the scruff, the all-around nice guy-ness…
*looks over his shoulder*
*looks over his other shoulder*
I’M ON TO YOU, MR. CROSBY!
April 14th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
And here I thought the twist was that Guy had a crush on Parker. This is almost like an M. Night Shyamalan movie (and I mean that in the least insulting possible way).
Every single one of Guy’s expressions on this page is awesome.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
This page fills me with such joy. ^_^ And Mars is the hottest. Or Jupiter. Comment closed with double flawless and a fatality.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Sailor Mercury + Sailor Jupiter FTW! ^_^ Seriously, those two should have hooked up. They would have been nearly as hot as Amara and Michelle, or Haruka and Michiru for you purists.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
…Sailor Moon. I… I’m not sure what to say. Certainly if Guy had any inkling that a real human being could hear him, he would never have admitted to having a crush on Sailor Moon.
I think I see why he was so embarrassed of this story. I would be.
April 14th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Bahahahaha, Bobby, that’s freaking hilarious!
April 14th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
That was AWESOME.
And rgz, your interpretation was AWESOMER.
‘You’re Sailor Moon!’
“Oh! My Goddess!’
The odd thing is I’m a girl who likes anime (what I have time to watch) and I never watched Sailor Moon. That seems like a staple of childhood for most people I know. Was I missing much?
Actually, reading all these other posts, it sounds like I did. :/
Bobby/Eisu, kudos on the mucho updating.
Pander: Guy’s wildest dreams came true! He married Sailor Moon!!!
Jessica: Of course you’re at least as pretty (or prettier) than Danica whoeverthatis. You’re an Internets poster. A canadian one, at that? Aren’t all people who hide behind a computer highly attractive?
Caity and Alicia and LazerWulf: Thanks for the SM education.
Lesbians? Really? All that’s very interesting. Like the Pokemon episode with James as a woman that was never released in the US. Someone has an icon with him playing with one of his breasts that’s the awesomest thing ever.
That’s right. I’ve said awesomer and awesomest. Thus is the privilege of being an English minor.
Bill M.: Love the extra bunny info! Particularly Dragonball. Very cool.
But anyone who SAYS he’s a nice guy, isn’t.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Epic. XD
I did NOT see that coming.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
hahahahaha!!! i have to admit that was funny. wasent expecting that and i can relat to guy here i used to have a crush on sailor mercury.
April 14th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Marzipan, I get the feeling you’re making fun of me
April 14th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
You’re not sailor moon your an imposter!!
April 14th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
O____O HAHAHAHAHA OMG….so ridiculous! I love it!
April 15th, 2009 at 1:04 am
Hello,
Onload of page my antivirus put alert, check pls.
Thanks
Charlie
April 15th, 2009 at 2:29 am
@Caity: Unlike you, I have no “throttle” on how much geekiness I exude.
@Spider: I remember watching Sailor Moon on Toonami in the late 90s, so if your pool of anime is limited to the 21st century, it might have been just before your time. I’d say it’s definitely worth checking out, though, since it was the first “Magical Girl” anime to make it big (at least, in America). I’m sure if you look hard enough, you can find it somewhere on the internet.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:42 am
this one had me in stitches. tres bien!
April 15th, 2009 at 3:24 am
….ah.
April 15th, 2009 at 10:02 am
div#main{overflow:visible;}
April 15th, 2009 at 10:03 am
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=163101089933a30dba15507510270a06
For the enjoyment of all
April 15th, 2009 at 11:01 am
hahahahahahahahaha
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
Sailor Moon…
Why Doesn’t That Surprise Me….
XD It’s hilarious…
All I can Say is I Agree.. as well as .. some others:
“Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
‘Cause the cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing”
-Barenaked Ladies <3
April 15th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Hm. I’m genuinely surprised. Did NOT see it going that way. xD Epic though
April 15th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Oh, right. Forgot something in that last comment..
*clears throat*
Fighting evil by moonlight! Winning love by daylight! Never running from a real fight! She is the one named Sailor Moon!
…Sad that I still know that? xD
April 15th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Update!
April 15th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Steff: “I certainly wasn’t expective Sailor Moon.â€
Jon Pander: “No one ever expects Sailor Moon.”
And NOBODY expects the Spanish Enqisition!
What? And btw… This page made me all giggly and laugh.
April 15th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Jessica: ‘Marzipan, I get the feeling you’re making fun of me
’
Guess I kinda suck at that.
…Actually, I was sucking up to you in hopes of mad flirtage.
Plus, I was being sarcastic because the idea of beautiful people behind every monitor amuses me. Even though we’re all beautiful inside.
Jenn: Yay BnL! Which song is that from? It escapes me. I know it involves a lot of fast talking, though with BnL that doesn’t narrow it down much.
Kat: ‘And NOBODY expects the Spanish Enqisition!’
The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
I bet you’re wishing that we’d go away
But the Inquisition’s here and it’s here to staaaay!
<3 Mel Brooks
April 15th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
@ marzipan: one week.
and omg… i seriously wasn’t expecting sailor moon. perhaps some seriously hot actress, but never sailor moon (though personally I prefer Chi for my girl crush, but that just might be because I’ve never watched SM). >.>
April 15th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Now we need some Stasia cosplay after this flashback is over. That would be awesome. I can almost hear her singing the English theme song…
April 15th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Marzipan Says: Bill M.: Love the extra bunny info! Particularly Dragonball. Very cool.
But anyone who SAYS he’s a nice guy, isn’t. 
You wound me, deeper than any weapon forged by man ever could…
Jenn: Yay BnL! Which song is that from? It escapes me. I know it involves a lot of fast talking, though with BnL that doesn’t narrow it down much.
That’s easy, One Week. I remember it was in the original Karaoke Revolution for the PS2. My copy was stolen when someone busted in my back door and took a bunch of games, my PS2 without the power cord, and passed up my over 200+ discs of anime, several hundreds worth of tools, televisions, and other stuff.
April 15th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Never heard of someone having a crush on Usagi … XD! It’s usually Rei and Mako (Mars and Jupiter) people love a lot … I gotta speak up for Mina (Venus) though. Poor ignored Mina.
@Bill M.
Whoa, they seriously passed up all the anime DVDs … you could make a fortune on Amazon with those. I once put up an InuYasha boxed set and sold it within an hour. XD Must’ve been taking things for personal enjoyment. Sorry to hear that, though.
April 15th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
I love and am still obsessed with Sailor Moon, so this page made me very happy, haha. Love you guys. Hope to see some more updates soon.
April 16th, 2009 at 2:26 am
Jessica: “Was “ay†supposed to be “ehâ€? If you’re going to make fun of our colloquialisms, then spell them right”
And what makes you think I’m making fun of them, ay?
“Would I win back some cool points if I claimed (with no ability whatsoever to prove it on the internet) that I am at least as pretty as Danica McKellar?”
Yes, if you claim to be as hot as Danica in a bikini. I’ll let my imagination do the rest.
“How about if I pointed out that I am no longer a physics major, and am only missing it right now because I had about eight billion essays to write this semester?”
No, stick with the first option.
“Also, I would probably follow you on twitter too.”
Gotcha. Twitter=minion following.
“Plus she’s so freaking whiney.”
Par for the course for 80% of all anime girls.
Caity: “Actually, her name was Usagi…and I’m going to shut up about that now. :::shifty eyes:::”
Usagi, as in Usagi Yojimbo huh. Wasn’t he a ninja rabbit on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sailor Moon’s parents must have hated her.
“Because if you like/play portal, you should watch it. Actually, even if you haven’t you should, because it’s just plain funny.”
Actually, never played the game. It’s still in it’s original shrink wrap. I never have time – too busy with work, forming my church, maintaining the harem, and commenting on webcomics.
“And now I should really stop…although there are some other interesting changes that were made that would likely catch certain people’s interest *cough* Pander *cough*”
What, in the original japanese during the transformation scenes was she shown as totally nekkers instead of a sparkly silouhette or something?
Alicia: “And Pander–The Sailor Moon series does contain lesbians…”
I’m suddenly more interested in that cartoon.
LazerWulf: “Caity: Sailor Moon’s civilian name was changed from Usagi to Serena for a few reasons.”
You know waaay too much about this cartoon for a guy. Please tell me it’s just because of the lesbians?
“In the original Japanese, her full name (in Eastern order of Surname Given-name) is “Tsukino Usagi†which is a pun of the phrase “tsuki no usagi†which means “The Rabbit of the Moon,†which is the Japanese version of the American Man in the Moon.”
So basically Sailor Moon was the japanese, blond, teenage version of Andy Kaufman?
Ibbee da?
“Since they figured American viewers wouldn’t get the rabbit reference, they decided to name her “Serena,†which is a derivation of “Serenity†which is her (moon) mother’s name, in both versions.”
I hear that when Joss Whedon was planning on marketing one of his TV series in Japan, he intended on calling it Bunny Spaceship Ho!
“The Sailor Moon series only contains lesbians if you go by the original Japanese version.”
I’ve lost interest in the american version now.
“In the American dub, they were changed to *ahem* friendly cousins.”
Who have sex with each other?
Let me know so I know if I should be interested in this cartoon again.
“The first season had a gay male couple, too,”
Lost interest again.
“but they dubbed the effeminate one (Zoicite) as a female to get passed the censor board.”
Still lost interest.
“The final season has three transgendered characters (male in civilian form, but female as Sailor Senshi), which is probably why it was never dubbed.”
I’m unsure of what to say here, given that I like watching Ranma.
“While I’m spouting out useless trivia,”
Thank goodness for that!
” in the original Japanese, Mamoru (Darian) calls Usagi “odango-atama†(atama=head). It was changed to “meatball†because most Americans have no idea what odango is.”
I hear that when All in the Family was marketed in Japan, Archie would call his son-in-law odango-atama. True story. I read it on the internet.
“Pander: I always felt that the magic of their transformations clouds the judgment of all but those who actually see them transform, so that they are never able to put two and two together.”
They could at least put on glasses or something when not in Sailor costumes. It worked for superman.
So wait, is Sailor Moon a samurai rabbit, a meatball, or a werewolf from that role playing game?
“And, before you ask, yes, I am Otaku.”
1) …. I’m not sure whether I should be concerned about that or not.
2) I’m sure you can get some ointment to clear that right up.
Tool(band)fan: “I only went to bed for 8 hours and this happens how did all these comments get here!?!?!?”
1) Because Tool sucks.
2) Because of Moon Sailor Power.
3) If I heard right from some guy in the U.S. Senate…. it got here from… tubes… of some sort.
Steff: “@Jon Pander: Are you sure? There’s gotta be at least one person who can see through her.”
To what are you referring?
All-purpose answer. I guess Superman could… you know, with the X-ray vision and all.
MrGBH: “Guy’s face in that last panel. I think I might have to go to the hospital if I look at it again.”
Yknow I’m a lawyer, we might have a legal case if you do.
Name_is_Z: “THE GIRL IS A LIE!”
There is a spoon.
Mabs: “She looks more like Sailor Mars.”
Is she the hot one?
Spider money: “Who is Sailor Moon? And why should I care? I figure it’s an anime, but I’ve never heard of it. And I used to watch a lot of anime in the early part of the decade.”
It’s some sort of poorly made anime for american audiences involving, from what I’m learning, lesbian cousins as its primary redeeming value.
Bill M.: “Sadly, I knew most of this stuff already.”
Yes. That is sad.
“If I had a choice, I’m like Pander here, Sailor Jupiter.”
I approve of the fact that you wish to think like me.
You’re well on your way to becoming popular now.
Sailor Jupiter is the rowr one.
“The lesbians (cousins if you watched the Americanization) are Uranus & Neptune.”
Heh heh… he said Uranus.
Btw, to all church of pander babes, if you want to wear Sailor Uranus/Sailor Neptune outfits while in the shower orgy (during the first half of it at least), you this is now allowed as ceremonial garb.
“DragonBall (not Z, not GT, and not the awful live-action movie) has Goku put a bunny creature on the moon as pennance for his crimes where he’ll make bunny-shaped rice cakes for a year as pennance, and that’s all I can think of that reference it.”
Sailor Moon, Dragonball Z. We’re talking about all the anime greats now arent we. Btw, this is sarcasm.
“I’M ON TO YOU, MR. CROSBY!”
YEAH SO AM I!
Goatboy: “And Mars is the hottest. Or Jupiter.”
Which one was the amazonian one again?
Lunaroki: “Sailor Mercury + Sailor Jupiter FTW! ^_^ Seriously, those two should have hooked up. They would have been nearly as hot as Amara and Michelle, or Haruka and Michiru for you purists.”
I have got to read some Sailor Moon fanfic after listening to this stuff on the forums.
Marzipan: “The odd thing is I’m a girl who likes anime (what I have time to watch) and I never watched Sailor Moon.”
Which means you have taste.
“Actually, reading all these other posts, it sounds like I did. :/”
Yes I had no idea of lesbians in it.
“Pander: Guy’s wildest dreams came true! He married Sailor Moon!!!”
Yes. I found out the secret twist ending Bobby was hiding from us.
“Jessica: Of course you’re at least as pretty (or prettier) than Danica whoeverthatis. You’re an Internets poster. A canadian one, at that? Aren’t all people who hide behind a computer highly attractive?”
That’s the assumption that keeps me happy.
“That’s right. I’ve said awesomer and awesomest. Thus is the privilege of being an English minor.”
Does it mean you know a minor amount of English?
Godbot: “I did NOT see that coming.”
You heard it here. God is not omniscient.
Jessica: “Marzipan, I get the feeling you’re making fun of me”
If I tell you that she IS making fun of you, does that mean you’ll both get into a catfight involving ripping off each other’s clothes?
Charlie: “Onload of page my antivirus put alert, check pls.”
You have just downloaded the Marry Me virus. Symptoms include lots of comments and talking about the intricacies of Sailor Moon.
Mandi: “div#main{overflow:visible;}”
Wha?
Ellie: “Fighting evil by moonlight! Winning love by daylight! Never running from a real fight! She is the one named Sailor Moon!”
I’m trying to figure if you saying that means you deserve for me to start talking about puppy karate chopping again.
Nah I’ll forgive it …. this time.
Kat: “Steff: “I certainly wasn’t expective Sailor Moon.â€
Jon Pander: “No one ever expects Sailor Moon.â€
And NOBODY expects the Spanish Enqisition!”
I was wondering when someone was going to say that.
The Inquistion – lets begin
The Inquisition – look out sin.
We know you’re wishin’ that we’d go away…
But the Inquisition’s here and it’s here to staaaaaaaaaaay.
Replace ‘Inquisition’ with ‘Sailor Moon conversations’ and it’s still applicable.
Marzipans: “…Actually, I was sucking up to you in hopes of mad flirtage. Guess I kinda suck at that.”
No, she was making fun of you. catfight! cmon please?
“The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
I bet you’re wishing that we’d go away
But the Inquisition’s here and it’s here to staaaay!”
Hey Torquemada, whaddya say?
I just got back from the auto-de-fe
Auto-de-fe? What’s an auto-de-fe?
(It’s something you shouldn’t do, but you do anyway)
Vera: “Now we need some Stasia cosplay after this flashback is over. That would be awesome.”
I would approve of thi. You are a genius for suggesting it.
Bill M.: “You wound me, deeper than any weapon forged by man ever could…”
Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*
April 16th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Mandi: “div#main{overflow:visible;}â€
Wha?
watch the link under that…i pasted the wrong one
April 16th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Because I had to >.>;;
Sailor Mars:
http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/img/s/SailorMars.jpg
Sailor Jupitor:
http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u157/ihateniki/Jupiter1.jpg
Sailor Uranus (the butch):
http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o168/Diosa_Eos/sailoruranus9.jpg
Sailor Neptune (the bitch):
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/de/Sailorneptune.jpg/220px-Sailorneptune.jpg
Sailor Mercury:
http://www.freewebs.com/sailormaz/Mercury.jpg
Sailor Venus:
http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/img/s/SailorVenus.jpg
Sailor Saturn:
http://www.freewebs.com/sailormaz/sailor%20saturn.jpg
Sailor Pluto:
http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n112/sailorplutofan/Sailor%20Moon/Sailor%20Pluto/Sailor_Pluto-255.jpg
Sailor Chibi Moon:
http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x292/emoxchickxkiss/sailor%20moon/Sailor_Chibi_Moon-1.jpg
Sailor Moon:
http://www.cccp-project.net/wiki/images/3/3e/Sailormoon1.jpg
There…u can has sailor senshi
My favs are Mercury and Mars :heart:
as for Sailor Uranus . . . I’d hit that
April 16th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Marzipan says: Pander: Guy’s wildest dreams came true! He married Sailor Moon!!!
No. Marriage is one thing, most guys don’t dream of the marriage, they dream of what they do during the marriage, so his wildest dream would be that he impregnated Sailor Moon… and I seriously have a hard time seeing Stasia in that ridiculous hairdo.
Jon Pander says: Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*
Buffy? Never watched it. I was referencing Heroes Season 2, if I was referencing anything.
Also, I am astounded at the History of the World Part 1 song quotes here.
April 16th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Mars was a damn bitch!! People only liked her because she’s a slut with her slutty little high heels. Psshh. Mercury was the best. Sailor Moon was just so very very whiny… I’m allowed to be informed about SM because I’m a girl. XD;
At any rate, I read this whole comic in like, two days, and I loved it!! Fortunately this page was the first “updated” page I’ve gotten, so I just clicked Current from the mainframe and didn’t see the title. Thus, when Guy said “You’re Sailor Moon!!” I literally laughed out loud. Fully spelled out and everything. And I STILL have to giggle whenever I reread the page.
April 16th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Wow….this has to be one of the oddest pages yet, but so very pleasing to the senses. I give love to anyone who hallucinates about Senshi. Though I must agree with many others on this board, Sailor Moon is not the one I’d want to see in fever dreams, definitely Mars or Saturn.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Awesome twist
April 16th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Alicia: “Because I had to >.>;;”
For my viewing pleasure.
“Sailor Mars:”
I’d do her….
“Sailor Jupiter:”
I’d do her….
“Sailor Uranus:”
Wouldn’t do her….
“Sailor Neptune (the bitch):”
Don’t care, I’d do her.
“Sailor Mercury:”
I’d do her. Reminds me of a naughty librarian but without glasses.
“Sailor Venus:”
I’d do her…. despite her being way too peppy.
“Sailor Saturn:”
I’d do her…. despite her being way too emo.
“Sailor Pluto:”
I’d do her, despite being reclassified as a ‘plutoid’ sailor scout by the International Astronomical Union.
Yknow, she’s way too tall to be considered a ‘dwarf’ sailor scout.
“Sailor Chibi Moon:”
No. I draw the lines at Chibis. Just… no.
“Sailor Moon:”
I’d probably do her but I dunno. I’d have to have a few drinks first.
And technically she shouldn’t be considered more of a sailor scout than Sailor Pluto. I mean cmon the Moon is a SATELLITE only.
Unfair.
April 17th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Alicia: “as for Sailor Uranus . . . I’d hit that”
She’d hit back.
Pander: “You know waaay too much about this cartoon for a guy. Please tell me it’s just because of the lesbians?”
It’s because ALL (or at least most) of the girls are hot. Not just the lesbians. Actually it was because my parents had forbidden me to watch anime, so, in an act of typical teenage rebellion, I watched all the anime I could find, which, at the time, was limited to Toonami and whatever crap came on Saturday mornings.
And because whatever shred of non-geekiness in my image has probably defenestrated itself, I might as well admit that I have co-written fanfiction about a group called the Kuiper Belt Senshi, featuring Sailors Sedna, Eris, Ixion, Quaoar, Orcus, and Varuna.
April 17th, 2009 at 2:13 am
Oh my fakkin’ lord! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bobby and Remy; Brilliant, guys! Bravo, mates, Bravo! I couldn’t stop laughing when i saw this page… ^_^
April 17th, 2009 at 5:08 am
That’s too cute! Poor Guy, lol.
April 17th, 2009 at 5:10 am
Wait… does Daisy’s “Hospital Visit = No Pay” rule include Guy?
April 17th, 2009 at 6:04 am
Just curious. Has guy EVER shaved?
April 17th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Guy has shaved for the wedding. Personally I think He just paints over it for photos.
For Guy Is like Chuck Norris……….
April 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Holy snap that’s funny…
April 17th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
LazerWulf: “She’d hit back.”
Catfight. Rowr.
“It’s because ALL (or at least most) of the girls are hot.”
This is true.
“Actually it was because my parents had forbidden me to watch anime, so, in an act of typical teenage rebellion, I watched all the anime I could find, which, at the time, was limited to Toonami and whatever crap came on Saturday mornings.”
That’s…. the most subdued act of rebellion I’ve ever heard. But I approve of your motivation being to watch hot girls.
Eregnon: “Just curious. Has guy EVER shaved?”
Guy has a rare condition which causes him to have a permanent 5 oclock shadow, much like Homer Simpson. It never grows more than that, and never goes away…. even if he was to shave.
ModdyPride: “Holy snap that’s funny…”
Indeed. It’s all that and a bag of chips.
April 17th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Jon Pander Says: ” “Sailor Pluto:â€
I’d do her, despite being reclassified as a ‘plutoid’ sailor scout by the International Astronomical Union.
Yknow, she’s way too tall to be considered a ‘dwarf’ sailor scout.
“Sailor Moon:â€
I’d probably do her but I dunno. I’d have to have a few drinks first.
And technically she shouldn’t be considered more of a sailor scout than Sailor Pluto. I mean cmon the Moon is a SATELLITE only.
Unfair.”
Technically speaking, the Moon is the only moon in the solar system which is not actually a moon. Astronomically speaking, it’s Earth’s sister planet. It’s too big for a moon compared to our planet. It’s outside the range within which a moon should orbit our planet. The Sun has a stronger gravitational grip on it than the Earth does. It’s orbit around the sun is completely convex. It never falls away from the Sun but always toward it, just sometimes to a lesser degree that allows it’s orbit to circle around behind the Earth. In every way it’s nature and behavior fit more closely with a planet sharing Earth’s orbit around the Sun than a moon orbiting around the Earth. It’s strange to say but our Moon, the first heavenly body ever so named and from which all other moons get the name, is not a moon at all but a planet co-orbiting the Sun with us.
Sorry Pluto. Sailor Moon is the real deal and you’re not.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
I read pander’s comment and LOL’d I wasn’t allowed to watch anime either and did the same thing.
My husband has the same crush on sailor moon that Guy does but she’s so annoying its a wonder how anyone can have any sexual attraction to her.
April 17th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Bobby likes to make you think you’re about to watch the most juicy awkward moment that can happen between friends.
Then he turns around and smacks Sailor Moon in your face.
….I’m impressed.
April 17th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Well…
Never expected that. XD lol.
The brilliance is too much.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Oh, that’s only the most well-known BnL song EVER…
*facepalm*
I spend too much time listening to their NON-singles.
(thanks skip and Bill M.)
Bill M.: “You wound me, deeper than any weapon forged by man ever could…”
That would be because I’m a woman.
Wow, that was some badass theft. I’m sorry to hear it. I’m all pissed because my boyfriend’s car has been broken into thrice, but he only had the one stereo to steal; every other time all they’ve taken is change.
Jessica: I think Pander is striving (and falling short of) a pirate Canadian impression. Aye, eh?
Pander: “What, in the original japanese during the transformation scenes was she shown as totally nekkers instead of a sparkly silouhette or something?”
Japanese shows have all the fun.
And you are seriously going way nuts on the comments. Not that I can really criticize, with how long mine get, but seriously I am just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling… is this like compensation or something?
“Which means you have taste.”
Do not, I talk to you, don’t I?
And yes, an English minor means I am a minor expert in the English language.
Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight.
But you win major points with my boyfriend for the auto-de-fe part.
LazerWulf: You win massive points for using the word defenestrated. Even though I’m not entirely sure it was in the right context (see English minor comment above.)
April 17th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
If you think tool sucks ugot mental problems honestly if you don’t like thier music that must mean that you have no life
April 17th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Marzipan: “…Actually, I was sucking up to you in hopes of mad flirtage. Guess I kinda suck at that.”
No, I just kinda suck at recognizing mad flirtage. If that is the case, then I am flattered.
“Plus, I was being sarcastic because the idea of beautiful people behind every monitor amuses me. Even though we’re all beautiful inside. ”
Are we indeed? I think I’ll defy Godwin and use Karla Homolka (beautiful on the outside) or Robert Picton (not so much) as examples to the contrary instead.
Beech: “I gotta speak up for Mina (Venus) though. Poor ignored Mina.”
She was my favourite as a kid. Mostly because she had her own talking cat and wasn’t as annoying as Sailor Moon.
Jon Pander: “And what makes you think I’m making fun of them, ay?”
I’m just gonna sigh and roll my eyes.
“Yes, if you claim to be as hot as Danica in a bikini. I’ll let my imagination do the rest.”
I thought we already discussed the whole former-competitive-swimmer-always-wears-one-pieces thing. Couldn’t we come up with some equally sexy outfit that covers more skin? I get cold very easily. I wouldn’t be averse to dressing as cat woman, for example.
“No, stick with the first option.”
What if I mention I salsa (and other latin) dance?
“Par for the course for 80% of all anime girls.”
Golf metaphors sneaking in from Last Blood?
“too busy with work, forming my church, maintaining the harem, and commenting on webcomics.”
Aw muffin…
“If I tell you that she IS making fun of you, does that mean you’ll both get into a catfight involving ripping off each other’s clothes?”
No.
“No, she was making fun of you. catfight! cmon please?”
I said no.
“Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*”
You should lend that to Caity.
Bill M.: “so his wildest dream would be that he impregnated Sailor Moon”
Really? Men’s wildest dreams include caring for bloated, overly emotional women, and then the financial burden of children?
“Buffy? Never watched it.”
Watch it. Now. All of it. It is a requirement for all Church of Pander employees. Also, it’s amazing. (Er… the first season and a half is pretty camp, but it becomes incredible. And the camp’s really fun anyway.) And then watch Firefly.
Jon Pander: “I’d do her, despite being reclassified as a ‘plutoid’ sailor scout by the International Astronomical Union.”
I wondered how long it would take for someone to bring that up. Dare I ask what you’d like for a prize?
Lunaroki: “Technically speaking, the Moon is the only moon in the solar system which is not actually a moon.” etc.
Interesting. This is why I really want to find a way to take that darned year-long astronomy course before I finish my undergrad.
Marzipan: “I think Pander is striving (and falling short of) a pirate Canadian impression. Aye, eh?”
Haha, if that’s the case, “falling short” is the operative phrase. I like your explanation. (Have you ever heard the Arrogant Worms and their song about the Saskatchewan Pirate? Probably only funny to Canadians…)
“(Pander)“Which means you have taste.â€
Do not, I talk to you, don’t I? ”
High five for that.
“Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight. ”
Agreed.
April 18th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Jessica says: “Really? Men’s wildest dreams include caring for bloated, overly emotional women, and then the financial burden of children?”
No. Men’s wildest dreams is to prove they are fertile, that their genetics will live on. Imagine if this were a farm, what was alleged was that buying the farm was the wildest dream, where as planting seed and watching it sprout and get ready for harvest is the true dream.
“Watch it. Now. All of it. It is a requirement for all Church of Pander employees. Also, it’s amazing. (Er… the first season and a half is pretty camp, but it becomes incredible. And the camp’s really fun anyway.) And then watch Firefly.”
I will watch Buffy for two reasons, because you say so, and because of Alyson Hannigan, one of the hottest redheads that hasn’t gone bleach blonde. As to Firefly, I’ve seen it. I’ve watched a ton of sci-fi stuff…
April 18th, 2009 at 12:47 am
Bill M.: “I will watch Buffy for two reasons, because you say so, and because of Alyson Hannigan, one of the hottest redheads that hasn’t gone bleach blonde.”
You mean the fact that I say so isn’t reason enough? *pout*
Alyson Hannigan’s character is pretty excellent in Buffy. I’m sure Jon approves of her choices in later seasons.
“As to Firefly, I’ve seen it. I’ve watched a ton of sci-fi stuff…”
That’ll make it difficult for you to hate one of the villains in Season 7. He’s played by Nathan Fillion.
April 18th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Lunaroki: “It’s strange to say but our Moon, the first heavenly body ever so named and from which all other moons get the name, is not a moon at all but a planet co-orbiting the Sun with us.”
Actually according to the IAS, to be a planet, it must be orbiting the sun. It doesn’t. It orbits the Earth. So it’s not a planet, it’s a moon. The main reason it’s so big is because, unlike most satellites, it was formed when another planet (Theta) smashed into the earth about 4.5 billion years ago, so it had a larger amount of planetary matter in its construction than most other satellites in the solar system.
Oh yeah, the Pan-Man knows astronomy! He’s not just all looks and clever wit!
“Sorry Pluto. Sailor Moon is the real deal and you’re not.”
Nah they’re both fakers. The only difference is Pluto USED to be real and Moon never was.
Rin: “I read pander’s comment and LOL’d I wasn’t allowed to watch anime either and did the same thing.”
Seriously it’s like being a rebel by using 2% fat free milk instead of skim mulk.
“My husband has the same crush on sailor moon that Guy does but she’s so annoying its a wonder how anyone can have any sexual attraction to her.”
Depending on how hot a girl is, most men will forgive quite a bit of annoying behavior. The problem is that Sailor Moon is not the hottest of the sailor scouts. In fact she’s in the bottom 2 in terms of hotness.
Definitely a conundrum.
Ro: “Then he turns around and smacks Sailor Moon in your face.”
You know, if i hadn’t read the comic before readng this comment, and tried to figure out what the comic was about, I’d have assumed that he mooned her.
Marzipan: “I’m all pissed because my boyfriend’s car has been broken into thrice, but he only had the one stereo to steal; every other time all they’ve taken is change.”
If only he had sailor moon there to protect his car.
“Jessica: I think Pander is striving (and falling short of) a pirate Canadian impression.”
How dare you call me Canadian!
To quote Bill M., you wound me!
Calling me a pirate on the other hand is cool. I’m so piratey that I wear two eyepatches.
“And you are seriously going way nuts on the comments.”
I’m thorough.
“Not that I can really criticize, with how long mine get, but seriously I am just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling… is this like compensation or something?”
For calling me canadian, I should make you scroll through much, much more.
“Do not, I talk to you, don’t I?”
Tecnically you don’t talk to me. You post on the same board as me, which still remains in the area of having good taste.
“Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight.”
okay perhaps you don’t understand the goal of every man on the planet. Ever.
All men want to see two hot babes in a catfight. Because then there’s the possibility of clothing tear-age. And the slim possibility that they might start making out.
“But you win major points with my boyfriend for the auto-de-fe part.”
Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day
Will you convert?
No, no, no, no
Will you confess?
No, no, no, no
Will you revert?
No, no, no, no
Will you say yes?
No, no, no, no
“LazerWulf: You win massive points for using the word defenestrated. Even though I’m not entirely sure it was in the right context (see English minor comment above.)”
I believe that defenestrated means to lose your fenestrate, in the past tense. Then again I wasn’t an English minor.
Tool(band)fan: “If you think tool sucks ugot mental problems honestly if you don’t like thier music that must mean that you have no life”
Hey I was just answering your question of how all these posts happened.
I have no idea what songs Tool even sings. Is it anything like Barry Manilow?
Jessica: “Plus, I was being sarcastic because the idea of beautiful people behind every monitor amuses me. Even though we’re all beautiful inside.”
At least she didn’t back up this statement by a youtube video of Susan Boyle.
“I thought we already discussed the whole former-competitive-swimmer-always-wears-one-pieces thing.”
I’ll accept a monokini as well.
“I get cold very easily.”
I’ll keep ya warm.
“I wouldn’t be averse to dressing as cat woman, for example.”
If you’re going to dress up as a comic book heroine, I insist on either Supegirl, Powergirl or Caitlin Fairchild.
Rowr to all 3.
“What if I mention I salsa (and other latin) dance?”
I do like to say ‘salsa’…
“Golf metaphors sneaking in from Last Blood?”
Hole in one.
“Aw muffin…”
Yes shnookums?
““If I tell you that she IS making fun of you, does that mean you’ll both get into a catfight involving ripping off each other’s clothes?â€
No.”
Please?
““No, she was making fun of you. catfight! cmon please?â€
I said no.”
Aw cmon! pretty please? I’ll hold the vid cam.
““Ah. Buffy reference. *takes out rocket launcher*â€
You should lend that to Caity.”
After I’m done with it, sure.
“And then watch Firefly.”
Just don’t watch it in the order the network showed it , because then it’ll be out of order.
“I wondered how long it would take for someone to bring that up. Dare I ask what you’d like for a prize?”
Let me videotape you in a catfight. That would be a great prize.
“Interesting. This is why I really want to find a way to take that darned year-long astronomy course before I finish my undergrad.”
He’s not correct to be honest. Trust in the Pander.
“High five for that.”
Et tu Brute?
““Now stop trying to get me and Jessica to fight. â€
Agreed.”
Never. You gonna take her telling you what to do? Fight fight!
Bill M.: “Men’s wildest dreams is to prove they are fertile, that their genetics will live on.”
You sound like a Nietzchian. I”m calling in Kevin Zorbo to deal with you.
“I will watch Buffy for two reasons, because you say so,”
Good reason.
“and because of Alyson Hannigan, one of the hottest redheads that hasn’t gone bleach blonde.”
Plus she was in American Pie where she was a total nympho.
Jessica: “Alyson Hannigan’s character is pretty excellent in Buffy. I’m sure Jon approves of her choices in later seasons.”
Yes and no. I didn’t approve of her being with Tara, but definitely did with Kennedy. There’s a major rowr factor going on there.
April 18th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Hey, I had a crush on Sailor Moon, too.
God, I love this webcomic.
April 18th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Tool: Yeah, you must be totally right. It wouldn’t have anything to do with natural diversity and people’s own preference for other music… your way must be the only right way. Just shut the hell up, will you? Do the forum a favor?
Sorry for the webhate guys, I’m just sick of this idiot.
Jessica: I could live with you dressed as Catwoman.
Doing the salsa. While eating salsa (and chips.) Rowr.
But I would love to hear the epic tale of the Saskatchewant pirates. Except I never want to type that word again. Whew! I’ve never heard of the Arrogant Worms. But I’m feeling the conversation might turn back to music, which isn’t a bad thing. I love finding out about bands I’ve never heard of and checking them out.
Loved Firefly, never quite had the time to watch the 50 million seasons of Buffy. I’ve heard it’s excellent, I’ve just only caught an episode hear or there. I know I could always get a marathon viewing going with my best friend, who knows whole episode scripts by heart.
And I agree with Bill M., Alyson is the rad. Yay redheads.
Pander, I think Lunaroki’s point is that the Moon and the Earth orbit each other and both of them also orbit the sun, in the way of true sister planets. I thought that was the way Pluto and Neptune worked too, actually. Planetary Astronomy was a couple of semesters ago.
Seriously! Where WAS Sailor Moon when we needed her??
It’s the next big security company. Random Anime Superhero Car Alarms! Even if they just get their asses kicked by our rather imposing mainly Mexican neighbors, at least their androgynous, emo shrieking will alert everyone!
And now I’ve got a visual of the Yu-Gi-Oh main character pulling cards while a car thief is pulling a gun.
And Canadians are rad. I wish I was one; it’d be way preferable to being a damn redneck hick Nevadan (even though I was born in ghetto L.A.)
April 18th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Who the heck is barry manilow?
April 18th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Oh
My
Goddesses
I’m still laughing and it’s been ten minuets.
Better than what I came up with by a mile >.<
Though, personally, I had more of a thing for Jupiter (I love fighters ^_^) and later on Pluto, just like the character better than most.
April 18th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Tool(band)fan: “Who the heck is barry manilow?”
He write the songs that makes the whole world sing.
Does TOOL write the songs that make the whole world sing?
No?
I didn’t think so.
Marzipan: “Sorry for the webhate guys, I’m just sick of this idiot.”
He writes the posts that make the whole world shrug.
“Jessica: I could live with you dressed as Catwoman. Doing the salsa. While eating salsa (and chips.)”
And if she gets messy eating the salsa, we do have a nice shower orgy available.
“Rowr.”
(tm)
“I love finding out about bands I’ve never heard of and checking them out.”
Except for Tool. Since everyone hates Tool.
“Pander, I think Lunaroki’s point is that the Moon and the Earth orbit each other and both of them also orbit the sun, in the way of true sister planets.”
But the thing is that a proper planet orbits the sun as its primary orbit. Orbiting another planet which is orbiting the sun is, by definition, not a planet – it’s a moon. Otherwise every single moon in the solar system would be considered a planet (many moons around some of the outer planets like Jupiter and Saturn are bigger than some of the inner planets, like Mercury. And Pluto’s moon is not much smaller than Pluto.
Don’t blame me for knowing this stuff, blame the History Channel and the Discovery Channel. They done poisoned my mind with facts. Who knows how many perverted things I’d be able to think of if those astronomical facts didn’t push em out.
“I thought that was the way Pluto and Neptune worked too, actually.”
No, Neptune is a planet still. Pluto isn’t because they claim it hasn’t sufficiently cleared the neighborhood around its orbit. It has to be the dominant mass in its orbit. Pluto isn’t. Neither is the Earth’s moon. So neither are planets. Pluto is more of a planet than the moon, though, because Pluto at least orbits around the sun directly.
Note to self: Stop sounding so intelligent. Everyone already envies you for being so witty, good looking and popular with the ladies. Kennedy didn’t take heed of that deadly combination and look where it got him!
“it’d be way preferable to being a damn redneck hick Nevadan (even though I was born in ghetto L.A.)”
You’re a redneck hick ghetto Los Angeles Nevadan?
I do believe this is the first time anyone has used the word ‘redneck hick’ and ‘ghetto’ in the same sentence to describe oneself.
April 19th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Marzipan: I’m pretty sure I was using “defenestrate” in a metaphorical, not literal, sense. As in “whatever shred of non-geekiness in my image has probably gone out the window.”
Lunaroki/Pander: Technically, the Moon is considered a moon, not only because it orbits the Earth, but that the barycenter of that orbit lies within the Earth itself. If anything, the only moon which is not a moon would be Charon. Charon does not technically orbit Pluto, because both Charon and Pluto orbit a barycenter that lies outside either body, which would technically make it a binary (dwarf) planet-system, like the one Lunaroki is (falsely) suggesting the Earth and the Moon are. However, the IAU has yet to officially rule on the status of Charon, which is still considered only a moon of Pluto. (Smaller moons Nix and Hydra orbit the same barycenter, but are not spherical, and thus do not qualify for dwarf planet status.)
Incidentally, I have made a Sailor Charon character for a future fanfic, who is Sailor Pluto’s evil twin.
April 19th, 2009 at 2:41 am
Wow, I obviously need to brush up on my astronomy. Maybe there’s a used textbook or two I can pick up at the campus bookshop…
April 19th, 2009 at 3:15 am
Jon Pander: “Oh yeah, the Pan-Man knows astronomy! He’s not just all looks and clever wit!”
I’ll admit to being impressed if you promise never to call yourself “the Pan-Man” again.
“okay perhaps you don’t understand the goal of every man on the planet. Ever. All men want to see two hot babes in a catfight.”
Odd, this is different from the goal stated by Bill M. But I read both of those statements on the internet…
“I’ll accept a monokini as well.”
What on earth is a monokini?
“I’ll keep ya warm.”
*sigh* Guess I did set that one up awfully nicely for you. How about I deliberately misunderstand and suggest you keep me warm by buying me a really nice coat?
“If you’re going to dress up as a comic book heroine, I insist on either Supegirl, Powergirl or Caitlin Fairchild.”
I think I’d have to go with Caitlin Fairchild since I find Superman (and therefore all of his relatives) incredibly boring. But again, I think I’d get awfully cold in that outfit. That’s where the nice new coat comes in, I suppose.
“(me)“Aw muffin…â€
(Jon)Yes shnookums?”
That was not an endearment. That was sarcastic sympathy.
“Please?”
No.
“Aw cmon! pretty please? I’ll hold the vid cam.”
Still no.
“Let me videotape you in a catfight. That would be a great prize.”
Shockingly, still no! (Look, I’m rather fond of my hair staying attached to my head.)
“Et tu Brute?”
That’s what happens when you forget I’m in the supply business, not part of the merchandise.
“Never. You gonna take her telling you what to do? Fight fight!”
So I should let you tell me what to do instead?
Hey Marzipan, if we ever DO have a catfight, let’s film it and then refuse to show it to him.
Marzipan: “While eating salsa (and chips.) Rowr.”
I’m actually not a fan of the edible type of salsa. Only the dance type. But you’re welcome to eat it while I dance.
“But I would love to hear the epic tale of the Saskatchewant pirates. Except I never want to type that word again. Whew! I’ve never heard of the Arrogant Worms.”
I don’t think it’s that epic. Seriously probably only funny to Canadians. But I’m sure you could look up the Arrogant Worms on youtube or isohunt or something. Canadian group that sings silly songs. If you want to look up Canadian music, you should look up Great Big Sea. Folk-rock group from Newfoundland. Their music is so full of happy.
“And Canadians are rad. I wish I was one; it’d be way preferable to being a damn redneck hick Nevadan (even though I was born in ghetto L.A.)”
We are pretty rad. Nathan Fillion is a Canadian. But to be perfectly honest, we have our share of rednecks. And Nevada has Vegas, which I hear is awesome, and LA has palm trees, which are definitely excellent.
Jon Pander: “And if she gets messy eating the salsa, we do have a nice shower orgy available.”
Supply, NOT merchandise.
“But the thing is that a proper planet orbits the sun as its primary orbit.” etc.
Does it occur to you that you’re engaging in a debate about whether or not sailor scouts belong to true planets, when you were just making fun of a fellow for a discussion of the physics of golf ball velocities?
Just sayin’.
“Note to self: Stop sounding so intelligent. Everyone already envies you for being so witty, good looking and popular with the ladies.”
You forgot to mention your modesty again.
LazerWulf: “Incidentally, I have made a Sailor Charon character for a future fanfic, who is Sailor Pluto’s evil twin.”
Does Sailor Charon have a goatee?
April 19th, 2009 at 3:39 am
Jessica: No, but she is a raging nymphomaniac out to ruin her sister’s reputation.
April 19th, 2009 at 3:45 am
LazerWulf: But isn’t there some sort of law which states that all evil twins must have goatees?
April 19th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Technically, goatees do not signify “evil twins,” but rather “evil alternate dimension selves.”
The thing that makes evil twins work is that they must be able to take the good twin’s place without anyone noticing, and thus be able to ruin the good twins reputation. (Like on Friends, when Ursula used Phoebe’s name in porn films.)
April 19th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Pander: “He writes the posts that make the whole world shrug.” It’s true. It’s just my shoulders hurt. From all the shrugging.
Sorry I didn’t TM, I forgot. And I don’t know how to do subscript.
Please don’t sue me. :/ I’ll put on a new and sexier negligee for you…
And I don’t hate Tool. I just don’t always love songs that last 15 frickin’ minutes, and I highly doubt that one band is the be-all and end-all of music.
Barry Manilow is.
And just think of planets as God’s balls. Perveted astronomy thought accomplished. Haha, we’re on a sweaty, hairy ball of God.
“You’re a redneck hick ghetto Los Angeles Nevadan?”
Yes. And I went to a rich-kid school. You can’t say I’m not economically and culturally diverse.
In a really white way. :/
LazerWulf: It was Charon and Pluto that I was thinking of, that orbit each other. Thank you!
And I love Sailor Charon!
Jessica: I don’t pull hair. I fight dirtier. >:D
That sounds great. Except I’d rather make love, not war.
But we should definitely not show him the film.
Great Big Sea sounds good, too. I dig the happy.
Um…
Who is Nathan Fillion?
And we’re across the state from Vegas, and an 8 hour drive from LA too, so all we have is sagebrush. Lots and lots of Sage brush. And a modestly nice downtown, but nothing like the Strip. If any Renoian tries to tell you that we don’t have Vegas envy, definitely don’t believe them.
Female twins should not have goatees, regardless of how evil they are. They shouild have magnificent bodies though, to make the good twin jealous and thus tip her into the path of evil.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I wonder if he ever makes Stasia cosplay with him. XD
April 19th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
LazerWulf:
“Lunaroki/Pander: Technically, the Moon is considered a moon, not only because it orbits the Earth, but that the barycenter of that orbit lies within the Earth itself.”
Correct. See Lunaroki, Lazerwulf also agrees that I’m a genius. And he’s a self-pronounced ‘geek’ and as we have all learned from revenge of the nerds, they know a LOT of stuff.
“If anything, the only moon which is not a moon would be Charon. Charon does not technically orbit Pluto, because both Charon and Pluto orbit a barycenter that lies outside either body, which would technically make it a binary (dwarf) planet-system, like the one Lunaroki is (falsely) suggesting the Earth and the Moon are.”
Again Lazerwulf is true. They did determine that Charon is not a moon, but is instead a type of dual planet system (though now it’s technically a dwarf planet/plutoid orbit, since 4 of the former ‘dwarf planets’ are now considered plutoids instead- Pluto, Haumea, Makemake, and Eris. Ceres is still just considered either a ‘dwarf planet’ or a moon (depending on the IAU’s next pow wow).
Jessica: “I’ll admit to being impressed if you promise never to call yourself “the Pan-Man†again.”
What about El Luchador Panderino?
“Odd, this is different from the goal stated by Bill M. But I read both of those statements on the internet…”
Bill M unfortunately comes under a rare exception to that rule, becaus he is a 33 year old virgin. It’s under internet law that you can’t say what women want if you ar a virgin. Hey I didn’t make it up, and I think Bill M has potential, but he’s just fallen into an internet is always right exception.
“What on earth is a monokini?”
In the interests of knowledge, I have catalogued a sample of that glorious swimsuit known as the monokini.
Because I want people to be knowledgeable, not because I wanted an excuse to find links to pictures of hot babes in skimpy swimsuits.
http://images.flirtcatalog.com/images/product/icon/76HYDRA.jpg
http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/wickedtemptations/c7-gwc513a1.jpg
http://a248.e.akamai.net/f/248/37952/1h/image.shopping.yahoo.co.jp/i/j/askt_wwt-sringshot-
http://cn1.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/e2/0/AAAAAp74S3wAAAAAAOIF_w.jpg
http://www.sexyelite.co.uk/auctions/uk/ebay/stock_photos/Teddie-Body/y2358/photo.jpg
http://s7d3.scene7.com/is/image/eFashion/BP-S6U620WHBP_front?$BP-ex$
http://images.flirtcatalog.com/images/product/icon/76CATENA.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/coolspotters2_development/photos/5215/69CbeBC9e5caeece__profile.jpg
http://i3.iofferphoto.com/img/item/579/912/76/o_yDrYDzKwxQiw9yO.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BYUb6Wh1Ybc/SHNqX2NOPBI/AAAAAAAABPY/ZpKvrTbjhf4/s400/vs+swimsuit1a.JPG
“*sigh* Guess I did set that one up awfully nicely for you.”
Yes. Yes you did.
“How about I deliberately misunderstand and suggest you keep me warm by buying me a really nice coat?”
It ‘buying you a nice coat’ slang for some sort of sexual euphamism I’m not familiar with? Because if so I’m in.
“I think I’d have to go with Caitlin Fairchild since I find Superman (and therefore all of his relatives) incredibly boring.”
I’d call you a blasphemer for implying that supergirl is boring, except Fairchild’s the best of those three choices.
“But again, I think I’d get awfully cold in that outfit.”
Correct.
“That’s where the nice new coat comes in, I suppose.”
The coat would be itchy. Stay warm with friction instead.
“That was not an endearment. That was sarcastic sympathy.”
… aw muffin :/
““Please?†No.”
Pretty please with sugar on top?
““Aw cmon! pretty please? I’ll hold the vid cam.†Still no.”
Fine. I’ll get someone else to hold the vidcam and I’ll join in. Happy now? Sheesh.
See I’m always willing to go the extra mile.
“So I should let you tell me what to do instead?”
I’m a deity, it’s part of the job description.
“Hey Marzipan, if we ever DO have a catfight, let’s film it and then refuse to show it to him.”
Oh that is evil. You WOULD make a good lawyer.
“I don’t think it’s that epic. Seriously probably only funny to Canadians.”
Funny Canadian Group – Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie. Look em up. Funny and informative.
In fact I’ll do it for you. Here’s the link for 3 of their best creations:
http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/video/how2buy.html~content
http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/video/helldeskcable.html~content
http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/video/behindms.html~content
Digital pants… ACTIVATE!
“We are pretty rad. Nathan Fillion is a Canadian.”
Yeah all you Canadian nay-sayers! Nathan Fillion!
Who’s Nathan Fillian?
“Supply, NOT merchandise.”
Merchandise implies I want to sell.
“Does it occur to you that you’re engaging in a debate about whether or not sailor scouts belong to true planets, when you were just making fun of a fellow for a discussion of the physics of golf ball velocities?”
I am nothing if not consistent in my inconsistency.
“You forgot to mention your modesty again.”
Yes I know. I’m just too perfect. If it wasn’t for my incredible modesty, I’d probably brag about it.
“Does Sailor Charon have a goatee?”
Oooh I wish I thought of saying that. Evil Universe Spock, Evil Universe Cartman…. evil Universe Sailor Pluto.
Jessica: “But isn’t there some sort of law which states that all evil twins must have goatees?”
Technically that’s only if they come from an evil alternate universe, despite what Order of the Stick’s Nale shows.
The Skrilla: “Technically, goatees do not signify “evil twins,†but rather “evil alternate dimension selves.—
True. OOTS is the primary exception to this.
“The thing that makes evil twins work is that they must be able to take the good twin’s place without anyone noticing, and thus be able to ruin the good twins reputation. (Like on Friends, when Ursula used Phoebe’s name in porn films.)”
Hrm… this DID happen on Order of the Stick. Maybe Nale’s origin is being from an alternate universe too.
I believe Ursula is also from an evil universe, as she was first on the TV show ‘Mad About You’ before ‘Friends’… which as we all know is pure evil.
Marzipan: “Sorry I didn’t TM, I forgot. And I don’t know how to do subscript.”
It’s just ™. In parentheses!
“Please don’t sue me. :/”
I dunno, I take my copyrights pretty seriously….
“I’ll put on a new and sexier negligee for you…”
Deal.
Wow this girl knows me so well.
“And I don’t hate Tool. I just don’t always love songs that last 15 frickin’ minutes, and I highly doubt that one band is the be-all and end-all of music.”
Tool(band)fan is currently foaming at the mouth I suspect.
“And just think of planets as God’s balls. Perveted astronomy thought accomplished. Haha, we’re on a sweaty, hairy ball of God.”
You are so deep!
Seriously, you’re like… reader’s digest deep. I am in awe now. Put on the negligee.
“Jessica: I don’t pull hair. I fight dirtier. >:D”
Ooooooh… fight! fight!
“That sounds great. Except I’d rather make love, not war.”
Rowr.
“But we should definitely not show him the film.”
Now that’s just wrong.
“If any Renoian tries to tell you that we don’t have Vegas envy, definitely don’t believe them.”
Heck I’m a New Yorker and even I have Vegas envy.
“Female twins should not have goatees, regardless of how evil they are. They should have magnificent bodies though, to make the good twin jealous and thus tip her into the path of evil.”
This is true. Remember Uhura didn’t have a goatee. Just a hot midriff-bearing outfit.
I love evil universes.
April 19th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
No you did not…
Because of you, my sister has now started watching Sailor Moon. Not only is she the worst hero ever, not even because it is so girly, but did you know Sailor Moon has the most annoying theme song in the history of theme songs? Just the same line over and over. And they don’t play, sign, hum, or run in the background, any other song throughout the whole series! GAH!!!
April 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I’m sorry dude. That was rude and uncalled for. I was being an unnecessary dick, I have no reason or use to provoke you, and I genuinely regret it. I just flame war’d with you once and i’m bitter or some shit.
Best of luck, sorry again for being a dick.
April 19th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
*looks at comments* Did some one try to steal my name? Oh well, that only proves how cool it is… any way, Love the comic and am a Big Sailor Moon Fan, or should I say Bishoujo Senshi Otakou?(did I even spell that right?) Love Y’all! Byes!
April 19th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I had deleted this from my bookmarks when this comic ended, prepared to never see more, until I today stumbled upon a link, clearly hinting at new material. I’m glad to see this is moving along nicely.
April 19th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Caity: And now I should really stop…although there are some other interesting changes that were made that would likely catch certain people’s interest
I think I know what your talking about D:
In the Englighed dub version Sailors Neptune and Uranus were just “really cousins” while in the Japanese dub… they were lovers! They just couldn’t keep up with all the lies! Espesialy when they’re holding hands XD
And thats why I watch the Japanese dub. They’re are no lies D:<
April 19th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
o-o Just from all the mindless banter bouncing back and forth, I’m pretty sure I want into this community.
Just finished reading the comic in about an hour, and laughed out loud. x3 Guy FTMFW.
April 19th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
jmkool: “No you did not…”
You’re right. It never happened.
“Because of you, my sister has now started watching Sailor Moon.”
Bobby’s fiendish goal has been completed then. It’s the entire reason he started making the webcomic in the first place, I hear.
Some Guy: “I’m sorry dude.”
You’re forgiven.
Who are you?
“That was rude and uncalled for.”
True. What are we talking about here?
“I was being an unnecessary dick, I have no reason or use to provoke you, and I genuinely regret it.”
You absolutely were, and I’m glad you regret it. Please tell me who you are and what we are referring to? Seriously.
“I just flame war’d with you once and i’m bitter or some shit.”
It was truly an epic flame war that I don’t remember, but I forgive you for it.
Now please who are you?
“Best of luck, sorry again for being a dick.”
will someone please tell me who this guy is?
spider monkey: “*looks at comments* Did some one try to steal my name?”
Heh I actually thought that was you. I’ve had similar things with ‘Jon’ being confused for me. I took quick steps to preserve my cool identity.
“Love the comic and am a Big Sailor Moon Fan, or should I say Bishoujo Senshi Otakou?”
No, no you shouldn’t.
Hanna: “I think I know what your talking about D:
In the Englighed dub version Sailors Neptune and Uranus were just “really cousins†while in the Japanese dub… they were lovers! They just couldn’t keep up with all the lies!”
Maybe they were incestuous lovers? Why can’t everyone be right?
Tirinka: “Just from all the mindless banter bouncing back and forth, I’m pretty sure I want into this community.”
Welcome. Have some pie.
April 19th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Jon Pander: “I took quick steps to preserve my cool identity.”
Luckily, nonsense names that mean nothing, like mine, don’t get taken or confused very often. Though I do get a lot of strange, inaccurate nicknames like ‘Tik’ or ‘Tri’ … Very annoying. :/
And yes, I think I will have some pie. Dankedanke.
April 19th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Now I know where I’ve seen her face before… parker is really Mai Hasegawa from Oni… she just dyed her hair black is all
http://wiki.oni2.net/w/images/thumb/d/db/TXMPKONnametag.png/120px-TXMPKONnametag.png
April 20th, 2009 at 12:31 am
The randomity in this is too much that I can’t post now…um…Snickerdoodle!
…Sorry I’m not funny, I know.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@ gd1 – Ohshit, you’re right. o-o
April 20th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
ust wondering when does the next one come out?
April 20th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
ps so funny……. so …. sup every1?
April 20th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Ps alreay been said I wanna hear ana’s story ^.^ hope you don’t mind me joining in on the conversation just bought these on my I pod good work gratz. ……. Ana’s story woot!!!!! “.”
April 20th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Pander: What the hell do you mean, Evil Universe Cartman?? We HAVE Evil Universe Cartman! Somewhere there is a GOOD Cartman who sings soprano and strews flowers in the path of his friends!
(TM)? Oooh…
“Heck I’m a New Yorker and even I have Vegas envy.”
That’s all right, I’m sure Vegans– wait, that’s not a good nounification of Vegas– Las Vegans? Las Vegonians? I like that. I’m sure Las Vegonians wish they lived in a hick town in Kansas with a Population: 9 and one dog the dog died.
Welcome to the madness, Tirinka!
That is a good name to keep from being mistaken for someone else, but it’s a pain to type. 
gd1: That’s awesome!! Nice catch.
Ukimoni: “The randomity in this is too much that I can’t post now…um…Snickerdoodle!
But that’s not hard. I think Pander is funny, too. 
…Sorry I’m not funny, I know.”
Actually, it was kinda. Made ME giggle.
Skyofire: The next one will be out sometime between this friday and next year. If you wanted me to be specific.
Pull up a chair and join the forum. It’s how we entertain ourselves waiting for the next one.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Dammit, the “one dog” part was supposed to have a line through it. HTML doesn’t work?
April 20th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
tool rules they are the best prog metal band ever
April 20th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
And who the hell cares about lyrics!?
April 20th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Marzipan – I’m certainly not a Las Vegan. I eat meats. 8d Las Vegonian certainly suits me better.
Then again, when you’re originally from Ohio, can you really call yourself a Las Vegonian?
April 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
tool. not the best band ever. so not the best band the lead singer got bored and broke it up. huh. how bout that? oh well, on to things that might maybe not matter at all slightly more than the nothing that you keep spouting out.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:22 am
Marzipan: “Pander: What the hell do you mean, Evil Universe Cartman?? We HAVE Evil Universe Cartman! Somewhere there is a GOOD Cartman who sings soprano and strews flowers in the path of his friends!”
Which makes him the Cartman from the Evil Universe, who happens to be good, while the Cartman in the Good Universe happens to be evil. He’s still Evil Universe Cartman. Just not ‘Evil Cartman from another Universe.’
“(TM)? Oooh…”
Yes, I take my trademarking very seriously.
“Las Vegans?”
Sounds like spanish ultra vegetarians.
“Las Vegonians?”
Sounds too much like the Vogons from Hitchhiker’s Guide.
O freddled gruntbuggly
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee
That mordiously hath bitled out its earted jurtles
Into a rancid festering…
“I’m sure Las Vegonians wish they lived in a hick town in Kansas with a Population: 9 and one dog the dog died.”
I think I saw that Twilight Zone episode. That kid was freaky scary, sending people and things to the cornfield like that.
“Actually, it was kinda. Made ME giggle. But that’s not hard. I think Pander is funny, too.”
You compliemented me and wound me at the same time. Impressive young padawan.
“It’s how we entertain ourselves waiting for the next one. ”
You’re welcome.
Tool(band)fan: “tool rules they are the best prog metal band ever”
1) There goes my theory that ‘Some Guy’ was Tool(band)fan.
2) what is ‘prog metal’? They’re too lame to be named after a real metal, is that it?
3) I heard Tool’s next album is them pushing a pig through a fence and recording the squeals. It’s supposed to be a lot better than their usual songs
4) It’s very apt that your favorite band is a ‘tool’.
5) Tool kicks puppies.
6) I hear that they almost made Tool the theme song for sailor moon, but censors determined that even Sailor moon deserved better.
“And who the hell cares about lyrics!?”
It’s funny but I have no idea what tool is, so I listened to it.
7) Obviously not tool. They also don’t seem to care about melody, their listeners ears, or their lack of musical ability.
And it does indeed suck.
Tirinka: “Marzipan – I’m certainly not a Las Vegan. I eat meats.”
Haha. it’s funny because she thinks like me.
“Las Vegonian certainly suits me better.”
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustules
Are splurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts
And living glupules frat and slipulate
Like jowling meated liverslime
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t.
Fin.
Judas: “tool. not the best band ever. so not the best band the lead singer got bored and broke it up. huh. how bout that? oh well, on to things that might maybe not matter at all slightly more than the nothing that you keep spouting out.”
Good Me! Both Judas and Pander on the same side? I heard that’s one of the signs of Ragnarok or the apocalypse or something.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:10 am
I now realize that it is a good thing I don’t remember enough of Hitchhiker’s Guide to be able to quite entirely understand what Pander is saying I am.
But hey. I’m cool with teh aliens. They have a pretty sweet gig.
(Including all the Jabberwocky-ish crap.)
April 21st, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Oh this is great. Probably my favorite page of this Parker Met Guy story EVER.
When I was little I used to watch Sailor Moon ALL the time….one night I got really sick and started having hallucinations. I thought I was Sailor Moon. No joke. My mom gets a kick out of telling the story today. haha!
April 21st, 2009 at 3:42 pm
What about ana’s story I wanna read what kind of dirt she has on him
can you write that story …. Ps thx for the chair it’s comfy 
April 21st, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Skyofire: Yeah, might do that eventually. And I never know when the next page will come out. Haven’t written it yet, so it’ll be at least a few days, maybe a week.
April 21st, 2009 at 4:12 pm
U know what jon pander obviously all u know about music is crap! Tool has the best complicated rythems, insane base lines, and progressive guitar riffs that have ever been made! Idk what crap you listen to but If you can’t appriciate music shut up!
April 21st, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I wonder if Parker still gets paid if it’s GUY who has to go to the hospital.
April 21st, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Tirinka: “Then again, when you’re originally from Ohio, can you really call yourself a Las Vegonian?”
Nice to see another Nevadan here though!
Well, I’m originally from L.A., but I still call myself a Renoid.
I dunno, I just like Las Vegonian because it sounds like another planet.
Judas– nice to hear from you again!
Pander: “Which makes him the Cartman from the Evil Universe, who happens to be good, while the Cartman in the Good Universe happens to be evil. He’s still Evil Universe Cartman. Just not ‘Evil Cartman from another Universe.’”
AAUUGH BRAIN SPLODE.
“Sounds too much like the Vogons from Hitchhiker’s Guide.”
Aha, THAT’S why I was thinking Vegonian sounded alien. Thank you!
And thanks for the poetry torture, too.
“You compliemented me and wound me at the same time. Impressive young padawan.”
Did I learn that one from you?
“what is ‘prog metal’? They’re too lame to be named after a real metal, is that it?”
I believe ‘prog’ is an abbreviation of the phrase ‘pissed-off frog,’ which is roughly what the band sounds like.
By the by, did anyone else think it’s funny that that guy had to specify that he was a Tool(BAND)fan because otherwise he’s a Toolfan and quite gay?
…I dunno. I giggled.
“Good Me! Both Judas and Pander on the same side? I heard that’s one of the signs of Ragnarok or the apocalypse or something.”
Well, I’m happy you guys are playing nice. I hated the feeling that I was supposed to be picking one shtick over another, considering they’re quite equivalent.
Skyofire: (nice name.) The only thing that concerns me about Ana’s story is how PG it will or won’t be. Poor Eisu to have to draw it!
April 21st, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I know isn’t it just ps thx alot for the complement you people are really nice
well yea I get what you mean still I want to know ps thx bobby for responding it was really cool of ya well what do you guys wanna talk about futbol …… 
well yea can’t wait for the next page good story reminds me of please teacher
April 21st, 2009 at 8:01 pm
If u don’t know what prof metal is u must have no life
April 21st, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Tool(band)fan: U know what jon pander obviously all u know about music is crap! Tool has the best complicated rythems, insane base lines, and progressive guitar riffs that have ever been made! Idk what crap you listen to but If you can’t appriciate music shut up!
Translation: I’m a closed minded 12 year old.
Listen Tool if the general consensus is that Tool sucks. Guess what? It might just suck. Now you may be one of those people who actually like Tool…like some people still like The Backstreet Boys and that’s fine. You are aloud your own tastes. But you don’t need to immediately defend Tool like Chris Crocker…Okay I’m sorry I went too far. I shouldn’t insult Chris like that.
Now I haven’t heard of Tool nor their music so I’m not going to…well hold on I listen real quick…Okay yeah not my cup of tea…which usually has lesbians and/or bisexuals in it…It’s a big cup of tea…anywho, not my thing…which I’m not saying it’s bad…but…yeah it is. It might just be the genre itself…but yeah….Shut up, you’re annoying…and I think that sums up about everyone’s thoughts. If I missed something feel free to add.
…Ok now something funny….um…Pander cover me…please.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Heh. I’m still giggling over the poor little 8-year-old over there spelling prog wrong while he defends it.
I wouldn’t call him a 12-year-old because that’s a little too close to home. Myself being 13, that is.
Marzipan – Lulz, yeah, I noticed that too. Toooooolfaaaan! 8D
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:13 am
The only thing I’ve heard by Tool are the three songs they have on Guitar Hero World Tour. Now, I generally like GH’s setlists, however, and the fact that they have 3 songs in a single game, while other bands usually only get 1 (Downloadable Content not withstanding), might mean something, EXCEPT that their songs are ridiculously long and repetitive to play, so I think that Tool probably paid Activision a lot of money so that they would use their songs, and then required them to give them their own set in Career Mode, the stage for which doesn’t even show your band, just this creepy eye and a psychedelic light show.
I believe “prog rock” is short for “progressive rock,” which is ironic, since after playing those songs, my eardrums wanted to REress into the back of my skull.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:15 am
I meant “regress”. Stupid G key.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:03 am
Jon, do not try to recruit Tirinka into the Church or Pander. The lawsuits would cut into my profits.
I will respond to your longer post later, but for now…
Jon Pander: “Good Me! Both Judas and Pander on the same side? I heard that’s one of the signs of Ragnarok or the apocalypse or something.”
By “Good Me!” you wouldn’t by any chance mean “Good God!” would you? Bravo. That made me giggle in an impressed sort of way, “El Luchador Panderino.”
And if that (agreeing with Judas) is a sign of Ragnarok, do you think you could hurry that up so that it happens before my Old Icelandic final exam? Because I’m really not looking forward to it.
Marzipan, you’ll keep him in line while I’m away writing wretched exams, won’t you?
Oh, and Nathan Fillion plays Mal in Firefly. You said you were a fan, right? Every Firefly fan I know thinks Mal’s pretty awesome. (He also plays Captain Hammer, if you’ve seen Dr. Horrible.)
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:56 am
I discovered something awesome!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v115/loverofstrider/Picture009.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v115/loverofstrider/Picture008.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v115/loverofstrider/Picture007.jpg
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:54 am
yeah just ignore the second one it’s the same thing
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 am
Marzipan – I’m always around. Sort of. Just not always commenting. For being unemployed I find myself exceptionally busy.
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Tirinka: “I now realize that it is a good thing I don’t remember enough of Hitchhiker’s Guide to be able to quite entirely understand what Pander is saying I am.”
It’s Prosthetic Vogon Jeltz’s poetry which he reads to torture his victims.
RachieRoo: “When I was little I used to watch Sailor Moon ALL the time….one night I got really sick and started having hallucinations. I thought I was Sailor Moon. No joke. My mom gets a kick out of telling the story today. haha!”
Depending on if you’re a boy or girl, that story might be utterly hilarious.
Tool(band)fan: “U know what jon pander obviously all u know about music is crap!”
So you’re saying all I know about music is Tool? Ack.
“Tool has the best complicated rythems,”
Best alternative spelling also, apparently.
And yes, it’s very complicated to figure out if Tool has a rhythm – I agree.
“insane base lines,”
I agree. Their music does cater to the insane.
“and progressive guitar riffs”
Because when I hear them play, I call my insurance company thinking it qualifies as an accident where my ears have been ‘totalled’.
“Idk what crap you listen to”
Tenacious D, and re-runs of cartoon intros. Pinky and the Brain, WildCATS, Inspector Gadget and of course Sailor Moon
“but If you can’t appriciate music”
or spelling….
“shut up!”
If I don’t, will you try to send me one of their CDs as a torture method?
Marzipan: “Well, I’m originally from L.A., but I still call myself a Renoid.”
Is it bad that when I see the word ‘renoid’ I think ‘renal hemmorhoids?’
At least Renoan makes me think of Minoan, which makes me think Minotaur, which is cool-sounding.
“I dunno, I just like Las Vegonian because it sounds like another planet.”
Vogons.
“AAUUGH BRAIN SPLODE.”
I have a chart if you’d like. I can show it to you during the shower orgies.
“Aha, THAT’S why I was thinking Vegonian sounded alien. Thank you!
And thanks for the poetry torture, too.”
Yes. it’s quite nice isnt it?
“Did I learn that one from you?”
Probably.
“I believe ‘prog’ is an abbreviation of the phrase ‘pissed-off frog,’ which is roughly what the band sounds like.”
As well as what their #1 fan there is beginning to sound like.
“By the by, did anyone else think it’s funny that that guy had to specify that he was a Tool(BAND)fan because otherwise he’s a Toolfan and quite gay?”
I think everything about Tool(band)fan is hilarious. The ease of how one can insult him, his name, his questionable taste in what he considered, falsely, music, his latent urges…. everything.
“Well, I’m happy you guys are playing nice. I hated the feeling that I was supposed to be picking one shtick over another, considering they’re quite equivalent. ”
Oh believe me, my shtick is quite mighty – women faint at the sight of it in awe.
Tool(band)fan: “If u don’t know what prof metal is u must have no life”
Wait, wait. Prof metal or prog metal?
Ukimoni: “Translation: I’m a closed minded 12 year old.”
I salute you on the accuracy of your translation.
“Listen Tool if the general consensus is that Tool sucks. Guess what? It might just suck.”
Bring it on home, mah brotha/sista (never can tell with some names)
“Now you may be one of those people who actually like Tool…like some people still like The Backstreet Boys and that’s fine.”
He probably doesn’t know what Backstreet Boys is. He didn’t know who Barry Manilow was either.
“But you don’t need to immediately defend Tool like Chris Crocker”
HEY NOW!!!
“Okay I’m sorry I went too far. I shouldn’t insult Chris like that.”
Yeah… cmon now.
(Who’s Chris Crocker?)
“Now I haven’t heard of Tool nor their music so I’m not going to…well hold on I listen real quick…Okay yeah not my cup of tea…”
It’s more like a cup of rancid swill.
“which usually has lesbians and/or bisexuals in it…”
Okay you’re officially on my cool list.
“which I’m not saying it’s bad…but…yeah it is. It might just be the genre itself…but yeah….Shut up, you’re annoying…and I think that sums up about everyone’s thoughts.”
I almost feel like passing the torch, but I have too much fun with it.
“…Ok now something funny….um…Pander cover me…please.”
What do you get when you put seven Tool fans into a freezer?
Frosted Flakes.
I know, obviously that joke needs work. As if there are seven people in the world who actually like Tool.
Tirinka: “Heh. I’m still giggling over the poor little 8-year-old over there spelling prog wrong while he defends it.”
Maybe the type of metal IS prof metal.
Like um…. maybe heavy metal songs sung by college professors…
“I wouldn’t call him a 12-year-old because that’s a little too close to home. Myself being 13, that is.”
Dangit. I have to wait years to say any of my usual stuff to this one.
TheSkrilla: “The only thing I’ve heard by Tool are the three songs they have on Guitar Hero World Tour.”
It makes sense, since Tool only learned to play their instruments by using Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Unfortunately it doesn’t translate well to using ‘real’ instruments.
“EXCEPT that their songs are ridiculously long and repetitive to play,”
Tool songs are to Guitar Hero what ‘repetitive grinding’ is to an MMORPG.
And everyone hates both.
“I believe “prog rock†is short for “progressive rock,†which is ironic, since after playing those songs, my eardrums wanted to REress into the back of my skull.”
Maybe it’s progressively horrible rock?
Each song gets worse?
Jessica: “Jon, do not try to recruit Tirinka into the Church or Pander. The lawsuits would cut into my profits.”
I know, dangit…. and she seems pretty cool too, but I’d have to wait a few years.
“By “Good Me!†you wouldn’t by any chance mean “Good God!†would you?”
Obviously.
” Bravo. That made me giggle in an impressed sort of way, “El Luchador Panderino.†”
Many women are impressed by the doings of El Luchador Panderino, my little chiquita.
“Marzipan, you’ll keep him in line while I’m away writing wretched exams, won’t you?”
She’ll probably keep part of me in line, at least.
“Oh, and Nathan Fillion plays Mal in Firefly. You said you were a fan, right?”
Yeah, but with male actors, I rarely bother to learn their real names.
Mandi: ”
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v115/loverofstrider/Picture009.jpg”
Think Bobby’s gonna sue?
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Oh my god, this comic is BRILLIANT!!!! Just read through the WHOLE thing! I LOVE PARKER XD!!!
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Tirinka: “I wouldn’t call him a 12-year-old because that’s a little too close to home. Myself being 13, that is.
Oh sorry. My first guess was 8 but I’ve heard older kids act and talk like that so…yeah.”
Jon Pander: “I salute you on the accuracy of your translation.”
That course in Ignorancy really payed off.
“Bring it on home, mah brotha/sista (never can tell with some names)”
Brotha.
“He probably doesn’t know what Backstreet Boys is. He didn’t know who Barry Manilow was either.”
That is a very good point.
“(Who’s Chris Crocker?)”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZAr9E8i3ng&feature=PlayList&p=26D2B9BB0DD3BD42&index=0&playnext=1
“Okay you’re officially on my cool list.”
Yay, and that’s step one of global conquest completed.
“I almost feel like passing the torch, but I have too much fun with it.”
It’s fire, of course you have fun with it.
“Dangit. I have to wait years to say any of my usual stuff to this one.”
But warping people is fun.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I think it’s official that jon pander has no life because he seems to post at least 1 2-hour long post a day and he honestly thinks his comebacks are good. And that’s something I’d call proof
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Toolfan – A.) Congrats on capitalizing a post! 8D
B.) 2 hours? You must type very slow if you think that. Have you taken computer class yet?
C.) Who are you to say someone has no life when you’re fighting, online, with people you don’t know, over a band that no one except you really cares about – not to mention you post at least twice a day.
Also – eventually, you’re going to grow out of your love of this band. Why take so much time trying to defend it while ruining your reputation and embarrassing yourself?
Oh shoot. I just spent precious moments of my time talking to a brick wall. ;n;
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Hahaha …. Why are you guys fighting over nothing, wut eves it entertating nvm keep going * pull up a chair with pop corn and foom fingure* woot let’s get this started
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:22 pm
For 1 thing it’s impossible to embarrass yourself online, I know I’ve tried and I’m not ruining my reputation because I could change my profile and no 1 would know it’s me and appearently people do care about the subject or every1 would stop talking about immediatly
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:49 pm
……….,,,,,, ohhhhhhhh what is going to be tinkas responce I wonder….. Bored cat you guys have a cat fight?
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Jessica says: “You mean the fact that I say so isn’t reason enough? *pout*”
It’s reason enough, but Alyson Hannigan is also reason enough. She’s the reason I catch “How I Met Your Mother” every now and then.
Jon Pander says: “All men want to see two hot babes in a catfight. Because then there’s the possibility of clothing tear-age. And the slim possibility that they might start making out.”
You forgot the potentials of wet clothing if the fight is near the ocean or a public fountain, and in more intimate settings, that once they start making out, they allow men to join in.
“You sound like a Nietzchian. I’m calling in Kevin Zorbo to deal with you.”
Dude, f**k Nietzche. I’m one of those Judeo-Christian right-wing extremists that Janet Napolitano warns sheriffs about. I believe that there is a God, that there was a Noah, and that he told all creation to be fruitful and multiply, and that is an imperative for pregnancy.
“Bill M unfortunately comes under a rare exception to that rule, because he is a 33 year old virgin.”
32…
Marzipan says: “Whew! I’ve never heard of the Arrogant Worms.”
I’ve only heard two of their songs, “Carrot Juice is Murder” and “A Man Has Needs” but they are funny.
“And I agree with Bill M., Alyson is the rad. Yay redheads.
”
Excellent! It’s too bad Pianoman’s Redhead Gallery went the way of the dodo… he had an awesome site devoted to redheaded beauties.
Jessica says:”Odd, this is different from the goal stated by Bill M. But I read both of those statements on the internet…”
They are not different, one is the ultimate goal, one is a desire which can lead in a roundabout way to the ultimate goal.
“What on earth is a monokini?”
Ever hear of Borat? On women, monokinis just have to make sure the long straps also cover the nipples to be legal at non-topless/non-nude beaches/swimming pools.
“But isn’t there some sort of law which states that all evil twins must have goatees?”
It’s more of “distinguishing characteristic”, like a scar, facial hair, or eyepatch. Star Trek used a goatee for Alt. Universe Spock, scar for that one guy who kept switching back and forth with his antimatter self, and Doctor Who used an eyepatch for the Alt. Universe Brigadeer.
And finally, to the whole Tool debacle, I’ve only ever heard one Tool song, when their music was playing on MTV (for some of you, they originally called it Music TeleVision because they actually played music on it) and I don’t remember a single lyric or chord, but I remember the video because quite frankly it was some domo-like creature with a furnace in his chest that sold off the rainbow glow to make money, but in the end, his life ended up as gray as everyone elses. I don’t hate Tool, but I don’t like them either. I’m indifferent towards them.
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Tool:”appearently people do care about the subject or every1 would stop talking about immediatly.”
No it’s just funny watching you defend Tool so fervently. And I have to say this is the first time you have actually used logic in your argument. Good job. You get a fake cookie. Now let’s work on using that more often and also lets try to use some grammar and spelling. Then people might see your side…except Tool will suck. So I’m afraid you won’t win this argument but you can learn from it…hopefully…maybe…possibly…you probably won’t.
Anyway let’s talk about something else…um…look a distraction!
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
U people only dislike tool because they are not that crap on the radio known as mainstream music
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Jessica: “Marzipan, you’ll keep him in line while I’m away writing wretched exams, won’t you?”
In my D&D group (AUGHT I have confessed my nerddom!) one of the characters plays a nine-foot-tall ogre with the strength of ten elephants and the mind of a three year old. I often play the hapless gnome clinging mightily to his loincloth (ew) as he rampages happily doing whatever he wants and causing loads of damage and problems for the rest of us in the process.
… It’s actually rather entertaining.
Anyways, that is what I would imagine “keeping Pander in line” would be like without you.
Plus, I have finals coming up, too. And I guess I should act like I care about my grades even though it’s my last semester and I haven’t learned ANYTHING new in five months.
Oh, crap! I do love Mal. I just don’t keep track of actor names. Nathan Fillion, huh? He’s been in a couple things since then, and we always cheer and go “Mal!” whenever we see his grim lil’ face.
Judas: “For being unemployed I find myself exceptionally busy.”
I’ve noticed how that happens. When you’re unemployed everyone assumes that you have nothing better to do and so assigns you all their errands. I know I do that to my brother ever six months or so when he becomes unemployed.
Just let us know when you leave leave, k? (Army, right?) Cause we’ll need to throw you a good-bye orgy.
Pander: “Depending on if you’re a boy or girl, that story might be utterly hilarious.”
With a name like RachieRoo, I think if that’s a boy being Sailor Moon is the least of his problems. The most of them is the fact that his name is RACHEL.
My boyfriend would love you further for loving Tenacious D. *sigh* STOP BEING LIKE MY BOYFRIEND.
…it’s creepy.
“Is it bad that when I see the word ‘renoid’ I think ‘renal hemmorhoids?’”
Probably not, considering most Renoids, but I think I’d better think of a new word when referring to myself. Renoian? Renoan would work too.
You know, I almost feel bad for making fun of the Tool, ganging up and all, but he’s (I’m assuing it’s a him) just so goddamn annoying. It’s quite amazing, but you’ll find my blood pressure unexpectedly spikes when reading his posts and yours (Pander)– and yours only because blood pressure spikes during laughter.
Teehee, prof metal– I can just see old nerds at the lectern, drawing on the blackboard… headbanging.
Tirinka: “Myself being 13, that is.”
It’s kind of a first for me to feel ancient, but… thank you Internets!
(22, baby.)
“It’s fire, of course you have fun with it.”
Actually, honey, the fire isn’t the real reason Pander loves the torch… but his love of the torch might be why the fire is THERE.
Bill M.:”Excellent! It’s too bad Pianoman’s Redhead Gallery went the way of the dodo… he had an awesome site devoted to redheaded beauties.”
Aw, man! I would love a site like that!
“(for some of you, they originally called it Music TeleVision because they actually played music on it)”
Weren’t those the days? When there was something else besides YouTube for watching music videos, and you sometimes got to see artists you’d never heard of but really like?
End rant. It just makes me sad.
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Tool: “U people only dislike tool because they are not that crap on the radio known as mainstream music”
What a wonderful double standard you have. You hate it when people say you’re band is bad but you’ll turn around and call almost all other music crap…wonderful. And I do like other music besides mainstream. In fact, I don’t like a lot of what is now mainstream. Just accept the fact that Tool may not be as great as you think they are…
Ok I’m done…unless he says something really ignorant that pisses me off. Then I will combat with logic! But until then let us talk about vampire lesbians. All for say “Aye”. All against say “Nay”…and then get shot at…with a rocket launcher.
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Toolfan – And you completely ignore that you’re going to grow out of it. Now, let me go listen to some of it…
Okay, it’s not the worst stuff. The guitar work’s fine, but man… I could do without the vocals… And it’s a little too repetitive for me. :/
Anyway – Everyone has their own tastes in music. Let’s not get too upset over all of this.
Other than that – I, personally, do get embarrassed online, but hey, I use the same username over and over and I’m a girl, so… Anyway, yeah. That’s pretty much it.
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:51 am
Tool(band)fan: When are you gonna realize that they’re not mocking Tool just because they think the band sucks? I mean, if we were to talk about which bands suck and which do not, there are a TON of bands that spring to mind. The only reason Tool is being singled out is because you are so adamant about defending them, and they’re egging you on in hopes that you’ll say something internetarded, and you keep obliging them.
Look, not everyone is going to share your opinion about Tool. Trying to force that opinion down our throats, or lashing out at people because they don’t share your taste in music is only adding fuel to this flame war.
Yes, you could come back with a different screen name and, if you did it right, we’d never know it was you. if I were you, I’d seriously think of doing that right now. If you do decide to change your name, don’t slip up by acting the same way you did as Tool(band)fan.
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:21 am
Hi there. Amazing comic read it all in one. You have vreated amazing bunch of interesing characters and the art is just stunnig. And of course Parker is the best
Keep up the good work
Joe
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:34 am
Hmm maybe I will change my screen name just to mess with you guys but not now and on the subject of growing out of tool that’s not happening at least not before I grow out of commenting here
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:57 am
Think Bobby’s gonna sue?
Not me…I just found it
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
xD oi…I can’t even hope to catch up right now xD
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Marzipan – Army, yes. Finally made it through all the paperwork and holdups; swore in on Monday. Both my recruiter and myself (along with some of the MEPS personnel) found a certain amusement to swearing into the army on 4/20. I ship to Fort Benning August 25 for BCT and Fort Gordon November 9 for AIT. Which means I have roughly four months to get my sorry old ass back in shape. Hurray for 2 mile runs at 0500.
Tool – Stop. Just stop. You don’t have the capability to properly ‘defend’ a band that doesn’t exist. Nor do you have the brains to change your name and ‘attempt’ to ‘mess with us’ without us knowing exactly who you are. And Ukimoni’s right, you need to practice spelling and grammar. I know those are hard subjects for children, but pay attention, they’ll benefit you in the long run. And a tip: if you see a little red line under a word you’re typing into the comments field, it means it’s spelled wrong. open up dictionary.com and find out how to spell it properly.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Y would any1 care about spelling this is online spelling and Grammer rules don’t apply here and I could definetly change my screen name and pretend to be someone else I might be doing it right now but just switching back and forth and no1 would ever know
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
What am I shrip fried rice y does no one want to replay to me……….
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Actually they do apply. You just choose not to abide by them, which makes you appear to be no more than a juvenile moron. Oh wait, you are. Damn, my mistake. Please continue to spout your crap about a non-existent band that no one here seems to care about at all, and further convince us all of your stupidity.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:36 pm
… My soul weeps for our language. ;n;
… Oh! Sorry. Was that my English-major side talking? ^ ^;;
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 pm
I could talk using good grammer but I’m going to do that when I change my user name and what the heck are you talking about when you say non existant band?
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:33 pm
My posts are becoming Pander-long… I’ll make em shorter.
Ukimoni– I’m not so big on the vampire lesbians, since I don’t think anemia is terribly sexy, but I agree, we should go back to sexier topics. Shower orgy?
Judas– My brother-in-law is also doing the daily runs, to prepare for the police force. We sip tea on the porch and laugh at him.
Actually, I lie– we don’t have a porch. The rest is true.
Well, we’ll enjoy you up til August. The nice part for me is you’ll be able to wish me happy birthday before you leave.
Skyofire– “What am I shrip fried rice y does no one want to replay to me……….”
Sorry… I just reply to things when I can think of something witty to say back. :\ And what’s wrong with shrimp fried rice? I love it.
Tirinka: “… My soul weeps for our language. ;n;
… Oh! Sorry. Was that my English-major side talking? ^ ^;;”
*high five*
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Marizipan – *high five back* 8D
And yes, better topics please! Dx
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Great comic, I love the storyline.
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Tool(band)fan: “I think it’s official that jon pander has no life”
I think we found Systemz’s long lost brother…
“because he seems to post at least 1 2-hour long post a day and he honestly thinks his comebacks are good.”
If I have no life, does that mean I’m going to have to start listening to Tool? Noooooo!
Tirinka: “Toolfan – A.) Congrats on capitalizing a post! 8D”
Aside from my name, apparently
“B.) 2 hours? You must type very slow if you think that. Have you taken computer class yet?”
He doesn’t believe in computers. Tool teaches their followers that computers are unimportant, as are rhythm, musical ability, good hygeine and spelling proficiency.
“C.) Who are you to say someone has no life when you’re fighting, online, with people you don’t know, over a band that no one except you really cares about – not to mention you post at least twice a day.”
Please don’t compare his posts to mine. It’s like having Chuck Norris in a fight with Clumsy Smurf.
” Why take so much time trying to defend it while ruining your reputation and embarrassing yourself?”
It’s not his fault. The reason Tool songs suck is they’re meant to be played backwards, which is where the subliminal suggestions come in.
Skyofire: “Hahaha …. Why are you guys fighting over nothing, wut eves it entertating nvm keep going * pull up a chair with pop corn and foom fingure* woot let’s get this started ”
I hear that Tool band membes kick a puppy until it’s in a coma before each concert.
Tool(band)fan: “For 1 thing it’s impossible to embarrass yourself online,”
Doesn’t seem like it…
“I know I’ve tried”
You’re succeeding.
“and I’m not ruining my reputation because I could change my profile”
Would you be something like ‘SuckyBandFan’ next?
” and no 1 would know it’s me”
Truly you would be the master of disguise until you start ranting again.
I hear that’s how Ninjas get started.
” and appearently people do care about the subject or every1 would stop talking about immediatly”
Actually I talk about it because I have a bet going as to how many spelling errors you will make. I’ve got money riding on this, bucko.
BIll M: “Dude, f**k Nietzche. I’m one of those Judeo-Christian right-wing extremists that Janet Napolitano warns sheriffs about.”
Sorta was talking about the Sci fi show Andromeda.
“I believe that there is a God,”
*wave* Hi
““Bill M unfortunately comes under a rare exception to that rule, because he is a 33 year old virgin.†32…”
I gave you an extra one for luck.
Marzipan: “Ever hear of Borat?”
Please no, I have nightmares about scenes from that.
“On women, monokinis just have to make sure the long straps also cover the nipples to be legal at non-topless/non-nude beaches/swimming pools.”
Me bless the inventor of the monokini
Ukimoni: “No it’s just funny watching you defend Tool so fervently.”
And hilarity ensues.
Tool(band)fan: “U people only dislike tool because they are not that crap on the radio known as mainstream music”
Or perhaps because they suck.
Marzipan: “Anyways, that is what I would imagine “keeping Pander in line†would be like without you. ”
You gals have done an excellent job of ‘keeping pander in line’ so far.
“With a name like RachieRoo, I think if that’s a boy being Sailor Moon is the least of his problems. The most of them is the fact that his name is RACHEL. ”
I don’t assume such things until they tell me so.
“My boyfriend would love you further for loving Tenacious D. *sigh* STOP BEING LIKE MY BOYFRIEND.”
Nah.
“…it’s creepy.”
You wuv me.
“I almost feel bad for making fun of the Tool, ganging up and all,”
Oh cmon. He named himself ‘Tool’ He was asking for it.
“Teehee, prof metal– I can just see old nerds at the lectern, drawing on the blackboard… headbanging. ”
I can picture albert einstein on electric guitar doin the funk.
“Actually, honey, the fire isn’t the real reason Pander loves the torch… but his love of the torch might be why the fire is THERE.”
Do I even have to make a pun about ‘flames’?
Ukimoni: “Just accept the fact that Tool may not be as great as you think they are…”
I just heard that the head singer of Tool might be dead. His larynx and fingers felt the need to rip themselves ou of his body and run off in order to prevent any more Tool songs.
“Ok I’m done…unless he says something really ignorant that pisses me off. Then I will combat with logic! But until then let us talk about vampire lesbians.”
Sounds logical to me
Tirinka: “I could do without the vocals… And it’s a little too repetitive for me. :/”
It’s like metal elvator muzak, as song by a hypoglycemic tapir.
CanYouGuessWhoIAm?: “Tool(band)fan: When are you gonna realize that they’re not mocking Tool just because they think the band sucks?”
Shhhh! don’t tell him!
“I mean, if we were to talk about which bands suck and which do not, there are a TON of bands that spring to mind.”
Like Tool.
“and they’re egging you on in hopes that you’ll say something internetarded, and you keep obliging them.”
That’s my new favorite word. Internetarded. That could be Tool’s next big hit!
Tool(band)fan: “Hmm maybe I will change my screen name just to mess with you guys but not now and on the subject of growing out of tool that’s not happening at least not before I grow out of commenting here’
Okay his brain’s turned to tapioca now. Anyone know what he just said?
Judas: “Tool – Stop. Just stop.”
I hear that even though there’s an infinite amount of possible quantum universes, there’s none in which Tool does not suck. True fact – it’s quantum physics.
“And a tip: if you see a little red line under a word you’re typing into the comments field, it means it’s spelled wrong. open up dictionary.com and find out how to spell it properly.”
Judas are you -trying- to ruin my fun with him?
Oh good, he’s too stubborn to listen. Glee!
Tool(band)fan: “Y would any1 care about spelling this is online spelling and Grammer rules don’t apply here and I could definetly change my screen name and pretend to be someone else I might be doing it right now but just switching back and forth and no1 would ever know”
Sadly I think this line of his made more sense than most Tool songs.
Tool(band)fan: “I could talk using good grammer”
But under no circumstances use good spelling.
“but I’m going to do that when I change my user name”
How lon is it going to take you to do that ‘name change’ thing?
“and what the heck are you talking about when you say non existant band?”
Okay time to come clean… There…. is no band named Tool. It was all a dream. A horrible, horrible dream. We’ve been humoring you.
Marzipan: “My posts are becoming Pander-long”
Too easy. She put my name, the word long and the word post in the same sentence. No challenge there.
“I’ll make em shorter.”
Ouch.
April 24th, 2009 at 12:02 am
Yep, gonna leave the mocking of the Tool kid to Pander. I just don’t have the patience for it.
Go Pander, I cheer for your absurdity in this rather childish internet war!
Actually I just watch for my own entertainment.
But really. Vampire lesbians, come on. Get back to the important stuff.
April 24th, 2009 at 1:03 am
” “I believe in god” *waves* Hi ”
XD You win everything. Yes. EVERYTHING.
It was a pleasant surpise to come back and see this little continuation! Marvelous! -throws cake-
April 24th, 2009 at 1:06 am
What am I shrip fried rice y does no one want to replay to me……….
—-
Because its all about the sweet and sour.
April 24th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
“On women, monokinis just have to make sure the long straps also cover the nipples to be legal at non-topless/non-nude beaches/swimming pools.â€
Me bless the inventor of the monokini
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monokini
enjoy
April 24th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I came to see what others thought was gonna happen but instead i see a pointless discussion about some band called tool and some fan who can’t stand to see other people dislike it. can we stop chatting and comment on the comic? if you wanna argue, exchange IMs or something.
anyway, great comic, can’t wait for the next page. Guy is really cute in this one, very endearing ^_^
April 24th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
It is impossible to embarass yourself online because u people will never be able to contact me if I stop posting and just so you know I already am switching user names back and forth and you’ll never figure it out
April 24th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Tool(band)fan: “It is impossible to embarass yourself online”
You, as a person, might not be embarrassed, but your screen name’s reputation can be ruined. Whenever you post as Tool(band)fan, nobody takes you seriously. And, if you make a new name, if it ever gets linked to your old one, that name’s reputation is ruined by association.
“because u people will never be able to contact me if I stop posting”
Yeah, umm, when’s that gonna happen?
“and just so you know I already am switching user names back and forth and you’ll never figure it out”
Unless you make a mistake, like telling us you’ve already been switching user names. In fact, I’m gonna guess that you’re Skyofire. 1) The two of you have remarkably similar spelling and grammar issues. 2) Almost all of Skyofire’s posts have come immediately before, after, or within 30 minutes of one of Tool(band)fan’s posts.
April 24th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Your wrong but nice try but you won’t figure it out because I have multiple personalities
April 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
It’s called dissociative identity disorder. Though you do get points for not calling it “split personality.”
taly: “Guy is really cute in this one, very endearing ^_^”
Really? I’m not sure I find the whole raving and hallucinating lunatic thing endearing. Certainly amusing though.
April 24th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Why won’t anyone change the subject?
April 24th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Pander: ‘Marzipan: “Ever hear of Borat?â€
Please no, I have nightmares about scenes from that.’
Stop crediting the wrong things to me! Bill M. said that. I’ve never even seen Borat.
“Do I even have to make a pun about ‘flames’?”
As in ‘flaming’? Are you confessing something?
Internetarded. Hee.
Although I would like to comment, CanYouGuessWhoIAm? showed up RIGHT after the Tool started ranting about his new secret identity. Coincidence? Probably not. Quit talking to yourself.
And I’ll be happy to shorten your ‘posts’ for you. >:D
Sierra Monroe: “Because its all about the sweet and sour.”
It’s true. Especially when covering crab wonton. Mmm. Anyone wanna feed me Chinese food?
Jessica: “It’s called dissociative identity disorder.”
YESSS. SOMEONE besides psych major nerds knows that!! Very exciting.
My boyfriend even nicknamed himself MPD, years ago, and won’t change it. He’s ruining my badass psych rep.
April 24th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
I wouldent call it a secret identety but more like something to keep from being board but I am not canyouguesswhoiam that would be way to obvious
April 24th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction. 1) More Whipped Cream. 2)Cherries…whole cherries. 3) It has “Cream” in the name. 4) It involves white stuff. 5) It does involve Tool. No! Bad Uki! Don’t feed the troll. Anyway, Yeah I propose this.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
When I asked someone to change the subject, I didn’t mean to change it to ice cream!
April 24th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Aaaaand Tool is Guitar guy.
April 24th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Obviously, and banned.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
And thus further proof that Bobby is awesome…as if it wasn’t obvious enough.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Jon Pander says: “Sorta was talking about the Sci fi show Andromeda.”
Ah, my bad. I usually had to work when that show was on, and I’d really been burned-out by other Roddenberry shows that his wife Majel had pushed from idea-book to production since his death.
Marzipan says: “Especially when covering crab wonton. Mmm. Anyone wanna feed me Chinese food?
”
Okay. *runs and abducts Iron Chef Chen Kenichi & makes him cook* This might take a while, I’ll bring the food when it’s done.
Ukimoni says: “So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction. 1) More Whipped Cream. 2)Cherries…whole cherries. 3) It has “Cream†in the name. 4) It involves white stuff.”
Mmm, floats, sprinkles, naughty arrangements of ice cream… good stuff.
Guitar Guy says: “When I asked someone to change the subject, I didn’t mean to change it to ice cream!”
Specifics, man. If you want to us to discuss the discus, ponder Pander, contemplate pin-up templates, or wax nostalgic about the Marry Me / Sore Thumbs crossover, you need to let us know, or we’ll degenerate into our usual discussions over the kinkiness & perverse.
Besides, ice cream is so awesome, people drive around in trucks to sell it to you, what other treat gets driven to you when you might want it?
April 24th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
I’ve been reading all these posts and I wanna join in on the fun! I’m female, i don’t like tool, I enjoy Marry Me, and I’m bisexual. Am I allowed?
PS Oh and I think Jon Pander is incredible
April 24th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Leah – Not mentioning the brownie points you’re getting for admiring Pander, I’m pretty sure as soon as you say you’re anything close to lesbian you’re instantly accepted.
This could be seen as a good or a bad thing.
April 25th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Fortunately, I am not a boy with the name Rachel.
Though that would make my story that much more hilarious. Curse me and me being a girl. X3
April 25th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
I’ve been following the conversation and I have to admit, it’s one of the funnier ones, if not the funniest I’ve read on the Internet. Don’t know why I felt a need to post that; I succumb to random impulses way too easily…
Anyways, great job on the comic, Bobby. I can’t wait to see what the next page will bring.
April 26th, 2009 at 12:20 am
Ukimoni: I like your list. Except it needs hot fudge (not burning hot, just warm and gooey and lickable.)
Although I feel bad, you’re busy enough without needing to moderate.
Happy Marzipan. Could you abduct Morimoto and make him make me sushi?
“And thus further proof that Bobby is awesome…as if it wasn’t obvious enough.”
Yes, thank you Bobby.
Bill M.: “Okay. *runs and abducts Iron Chef Chen Kenichi & makes him cook* This might take a while, I’ll bring the food when it’s done.”
Oooh, Iron Chef. The REAL Iron Chef.
And you get major literary points for “discuss the discus, ponder Pander…” Alliteration: awesome.
“Besides, ice cream is so awesome, people drive around in trucks to sell it to you, what other treat gets driven to you when you might want it?”
Pizza.
And Chinese.
I got a cute guy delivering me top-notch Chinese as we speak.
Leah, you’re in. Just for being bi, but Pander will love the suckuppage. Come spoon me some hot fudge.
Thanks for the props, Poru. Glad to know we’re not horribly irritating all lurkers for our not-terribly-MM-related conversation.
April 26th, 2009 at 5:42 am
More character backgrounds, wheee! Wow… I didn’t know Guy’s an otaku XD
April 26th, 2009 at 11:25 am
So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction. 1) More Whipped Cream. 2)Cherries…whole cherries. 3) It has “Cream†in the name. 4) It involves white stuff. 5) It does involve Tool. No! Bad Uki! Don’t feed the troll. Anyway, Yeah I propose this.
—–
Bob dole seconds this motion.
So does Sierra.
April 26th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Yah so this was great… XD the best part being the whole tender doting look Guy is giving Parker in the 2nd panel… priceless.
April 26th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
I knew the suckuppage wasn’t needed but it seemed important.
*spoons Marzipan some hot fudge* I made it myself? Would you like some ice cream too?
April 26th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Marzipan says: “Oooh, Iron Chef. The REAL Iron Chef.
Happy Marzipan. Could you abduct Morimoto and make him make me sushi?”
Morimoto’s giving me the slip. I can abduct Michiba and make sure he makes his notorious “broth of vigor”, though, if that will do…
“And you get major literary points for “discuss the discus, ponder Pander…†Alliteration: awesome.
”
Yes, it is vigorous to maintain a vast and varied vocabulary, without becoming vapid, for someone as verecund as myself.
It’s part of a throwback to before I understood the true meaning of “if you want to be happy in a relationship, you need to be a cunning linguist.”
“Bill: ‘Besides, ice cream is so awesome, people drive around in trucks to sell it to you, what other treat gets driven to you when you might want it? ‘
Pizza.
And Chinese.”
I forgot about pizza. Chinese is more hit or miss as to whether it’s available locally for delivery. The places here in town offer pick-up, but no delivery.
“I got a cute guy delivering me top-notch Chinese as we speak.
”
Thanks. The last time I was called cute, I was hanging Snoopy ornaments on Christmas trees.
April 26th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Tool(band)fan: “It is impossible to embarass yourself online because u people will never be able to contact me if I stop posting and just so you know I already am switching user names back and forth and you’ll never figure it out”
All this and still a master of the run on sentence folks!
Btw, tool sucks.
CanYouGuessWhoIAm?:
“but your screen name’s reputation can be ruined.”
I think it was ruined as soon as he started claiming to be a Tool fan.
Tool(band)fan: “Your wrong but nice try but you won’t figure it out because I have multiple personalities”
You know, sometime when I read Toolfan’s post, I pretend it’s in the sound of an anime character, and I insert ‘HAHA!’ into every second or third word. It’s hilarious.
Your wrong haha! but nice try haha! but you won’t haha! figure it out haha! because I haha! have multple personalities haha!
Guitar guy: “Why won’t anyone change the subject?”
Because Tool sucks.
Marzipan: “As in ‘flaming’? Are you confessing something? ”
I mean as to how I attract flame wars from people like Toolfan…
“Internetarded. Hee.”
Yes, I like that word.
“And I’ll be happy to shorten your ‘posts’ for you. >:D”
Ouch. No, you can extend them instead.
Tool(band)fan: “I wouldent (haha!) call it (haha!) a secret identety (haha! I can’t spell! haha!) but more like (haha!) something to keep (haha!) from being board (haha! Truly I can’t spell! Haha!) but I (haha!) am not canyouguesswhoiam (haha!) that would be (haha!) way to obvious (haha!)”
Ukimoni: “So. Lesbians…and bisexuals…and shower orgies….and bakeries…I motion we add an Ice Cream Parlor into this concoction.”
Genius. Plus it means cold air, which is good for the babes.
“1) More Whipped Cream.”
rowr.
“2)Cherries…whole cherries.”
pop.
“3) It has “Cream†in the name.”
Rowr.
“4) It involves white stuff.”
Eventually anything in the church of pander does.
Ukimoni: “Aaaaand Tool is Guitar guy.”
Duh.
Bobby:”Obviously, and banned.”
I can still make fun of him now even though he’s banned, right?
Tool sucks nyaaaah hah!
Ukimoni: “And thus further proof that Bobby is awesome…as if it wasn’t obvious enough.”
He already proved it to me when he had his picture taken with girls in supergirl and wonder woman cosplay.
Leah: “I’ve been reading all these posts and I wanna join in on the fun! I’m female, i don’t like tool, I enjoy Marry Me, and I’m bisexual. Am I allowed?”
Yes you are, my dear. Put on the T-shirt while I get the hose and let the drenching commence. Then there is of course the matter of the private interview and the initial shower orgy. You came at an excellent time.
In fact, everyone in the Church of Pander comes for an excellent time.
“PS Oh and I think Jon Pander is incredible”
I like this one. She’s observant.
Tirinka: “Pander, I’m pretty sure as soon as you say you’re anything close to lesbian you’re instantly accepted.”
This is true.
RachieRoo: “Curse me and me being a girl. X3″
Fine. As punishment you must get into the shower. You may choose your wardrobe – the choices are bikini, monokini, wet t-shirt, skimpy lingerie, supergirl outfit, or, the ever popular naked.
Poru: “I succumb to random impulses way too easily…”
Succumbing to random impulses is my raison d’etre.
Marzipan: “And you get major literary points for “discuss the discus, ponder Pander…â€
I like anything which involves talking about me.
“Leah, you’re in. Just for being bi, but Pander will love the suckuppage. ”
Yes, she will be doing much suckuppage.
Sierra Monroe: “Bob dole seconds this motion. So does Sierra.”
I loved that commercial with Britney Spears and Bob Dole
April 27th, 2009 at 8:25 am
I have 2 things that need to be officially said…
1. Thanks to Bobby for getting rid of an idiot (Don’t make fun of my phrasing Pander i’m from Pittsburgh)
2. Don’t forget about the Caramel sauce.
April 27th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Bill M. “The last time I was called cute, I was hanging Snoopy ornaments on Christmas treesâ€
The last time I was called cute I was jumping up and down with a spoonful of pasta. Creepy old men are straaaaange
Pander “Yes you are, my dear. Put on the T-shirt while I get the hose and let the drenching commence. “
Is said t-shirt white? Cause it’s no fun otherwise
“Then there is of course the matter of the private interview and the initial shower orgy.â€
And where does the interview take place? I vote for a fluffy bed. Fluffy things are fun
April 27th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Leah: And where does the interview take place? I vote for a fluffy bed. Fluffy things are fun
Ohh yeah, you’ll fint in here fine
April 27th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Leah: “I knew the suckuppage wasn’t needed but it seemed important.
*spoons Marzipan some hot fudge* I made it myself? Would you like some ice cream too?
Is your ice cream homemade too? Either way, yes please!
And suckuppage is DEFINITELY necessary, here. So you know.
Bill M.: “Morimoto’s giving me the slip. I can abduct Michiba and make sure he makes his notorious “broth of vigorâ€, though, if that will do…”
Ooh, I can live with your vigorous broth. Sounds like a good lunch for me.
“Yes, it is vigorous to maintain a vast and varied vocabulary, without becoming vapid, for someone as verecund as myself.”
Now you’re just stealing from V. Watch it. Guy Fawkes masks are scary.
“It’s part of a throwback to before I understood the true meaning of “if you want to be happy in a relationship, you need to be a cunning linguist.—
Please tell me that after you learned how to be a cunning linguist, you learned how to be a… cunning linguist.
“Thanks. The last time I was called cute, I was hanging Snoopy ornaments on Christmas trees.”
I’m gonna go kick Lucy’s ass if she was trying to take Bill off the market.
Oh, and the last time I was called cute, I was ranting about fricking-Miley-fricking-Cyrus. About ten seconds ago.
Pander, I do love the idea of Tool as obnoxious anime enemy. Haha!
…There was a commercial with Britney and Dole? Glad I missed that one.
Mandi: Oooooh… caramel. Never thought of it. I think it’s often overlooked for its orgy potential because of the car-mel vs. care-a-mel arguments. And arguments just aren’t sexy. But the advantage of the Internet is it doesn’t matter!
April 27th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Marzipan: “Mandi: Oooooh… caramel. Never thought of it. I think it’s often overlooked for its orgy potential because of the car-mel vs. care-a-mel arguments. And arguments just aren’t sexy.”
I feel like I have to disagree with you there. Arguments can be incredibly sexy, so long as they involve the removal of clothing and angry make-up sex afterward. Or make-up orgies, I suppose, depending on how many people take part in said argument.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Mandi: “1. Thanks to Bobby for getting rid of an idiot (Don’t make fun of my phrasing Pander i’m from Pittsburgh)”
For me to make fun of you, you’d have to say something dumb. What you said is merely observant of the situation.
“2. Don’t forget about the Caramel sauce.”
And even if you had said something worth making fun of, this sentence would have made me forgiven you.
Leah: “Is said t-shirt white? Cause it’s no fun otherwise”
Hey I’m no amateur at this. Of course it’s white.
Put on the T-shirt.
“And where does the interview take place?”
A fluffy bed.
“I vote for a fluffy bed.”
How fortuitous!
“Fluffy things are fun”
I have no problems with you being the fluffer girl.
Mandi: “Ohh yeah, you’ll fint in here fine”
I know! Won’t she!?
I love this gig.
Marzipan: “And suckuppage is DEFINITELY necessary, here. So you know.”
It scores bonus points.
“Oh, and the last time I was called cute, I was ranting about fricking-Miley-fricking-Cyrus. About ten seconds ago.”
Aw that’s so cute.
“Pander, I do love the idea of Tool as obnoxious anime enemy. Haha!”
Haha! Yes he seems haha! to have met haha! his match! haha!
“There was a commercial with Britney and Dole? Glad I missed that one.”
Superbowl commercial for Pepsi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt8uNG02ixA
Pay attention to the last few seconds of the commercial. Priceless.
Makes me want to actually vote for the guy.
Charmaine: â€I feel like I have to disagree with you there. Arguments can be incredibly sexy, so long as they involve the removal of clothing and angry make-up sex afterward.”
Yes. Catfights can be quite sexy because of the potential for clothing rippage. And the fact that there’s the potential that, amidst the fighting… they might start spontaneously making out.
” Or make-up orgies, I suppose, depending on how many people take part in said argument.”
She makes an excellent second point here.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:33 am
Bob Dole likes Bob Dole.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:38 am
Pander: For me to make fun of you, you’d have to say something dumb. What you said is merely observant of the situation.
I was talking about the use of the word “rid.” I was made fun of in middle school for excessive use of Pittsburghese.
For those of you who have no idea what that is:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pittsburghese
April 28th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Mandi “Ohh yeah, you’ll fint in here fine”
Of course i will. I’m like a little puzzle piece you lost.
Marzipan “Is your ice cream homemade too? Either way, yes please!”
Yes. My dog made it. Somehow he grew opposable thumbs last night and made ice cream. *spoons marzipan yummy ice cream*
Mandi “Oooooh… caramel. Never thought of it. I think it’s often overlooked for its orgy potential because of the car-mel vs. care-a-mel arguments. And arguments just aren’t sexy. But the advantage of the Internet is it doesn’t matter! ”
How in the world aren’t arguements sexy?
Pander “Put on the T-shirt.”
Yes sir! *salutes*
“It scores bonus points.”
What should i do with said bonus points.
Mandi “I was talking about the use of the word “rid.†I was made fun of in middle school for excessive use of Pittsburghese.”
I say rid and I’m not from Pittsburg.. I’ve never been to Pittsburg
April 28th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Seriously, it’s been OVER 2 WEEKS since you last updated. Are there going to be any more any time soon? I really do like this series.
April 28th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Mandi: “I was talking about the use of the word “rid.†I was made fun of in middle school for excessive use of Pittsburghese.”
I’m from New York. We don’t notice that sort of stuff.
Plus most of my knowledge of Pittsburgh comes from watching Parking Wars.
Leah: “How in the world aren’t arguements sexy?”
Lets test this. Leah, Marzipan, get into see through nighties or lingerie, get your pillows, and get into an argument. Can be about anything. Obama, Rush Limbaugh. People who use the word ‘irregardless’. Anything.
“Yes sir! *salutes*”
Commence the drenching!
*SLOSH!* *kersplash*
*actions done to Leah which are probably banned in 25 states to determine her place in the Wet Tshirt contest*
Very nice. Now for the private interview.
“What should i do with said bonus points.”
As with most games, when you get enough points, you can unlock special patches. Nude patch, alternate costume patch… Alternate costume which I remove from you to create a nude patch……
You’ll see in the private interview.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Mandi – … normal people don’t use ‘rid’? o-o?
Wow. Between living half my life overseas and half of my life in various states, my colloquial English must be pretty mismatched.
I’m still not sure if Americans say ‘Windshield’ or ‘Windscreen’ for the front window of their cars…
Btw – I used to live in Pittsburgh. Pretty awesome. 8D
April 28th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Mandi “I was talking about the use of the word “rid.†I was made fun of in middle school for excessive use of Pittsburghese.â€
That is both odd and unfortunate, the combination of which causes me to giggle for some unknown reason.
Tirinka: “I’m still not sure if Americans say ‘Windshield’ or ‘Windscreen’ for the front window of their cars…”
In my little corner of America, at least, we say windshield. Windscreen makes me think of sunscreen, but for, you know, wind.
Pander: “She makes an excellent second point here.”
Why thank you, kind sir.
April 28th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Tirinka: “Mandi – … normal people don’t use ‘rid’? o-o?”
I’m at a loss to explain it. New Yorkers use rid all the time. For example, I’d really like to get rid of the Governor, the Mayor, and the person in charge of the MTA for the fare hikes.
“Wow. Between living half my life overseas and half of my life in various states, my colloquial English must be pretty mismatched.”
Thirteen year olds nowadays have quite the vocabulary.
“I’m still not sure if Americans say ‘Windshield’ or ‘Windscreen’ for the front window of their cars… ”
windshield.
Charmaine: “Why thank you, kind sir.”
May I interest you in putting on this nice white t-shirt? *gets the hose*
April 28th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Pander – Thirteen year olds nowadays also go to college.
(True d’at. Don’t you dare doubt me or I’ll throw my German textbook at your face.)
April 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Okay, seriously. What is wrong with this world?
April 29th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Is this another marathon?
Will this webcomic be update before this section reaches 1000 comments?
Stick around to find out… =D
April 29th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Tirinka: “Pander – Thirteen year olds nowadays also go to college.”
… are you Doogie Howser, MD?
“Don’t you dare doubt me or I’ll throw my German textbook at your face.”
Kids today are so violent.
And so are Germans (even their books), apparently, though that’s not a surprise.
NeoDarklight: “Okay, seriously. What is wrong with this world?”
I know. I keep trying to get Rihanna, Britney, or Jessica Simpson to marry me by showing a sign, but I have no luck, because I’m not a wife beater, I have job skills, and I’m not a football player who chokes when it matters (respectively).
Myself: “Is this another marathon?”
One can hope.
“Will this webcomic be update before this section reaches 1000 comments?”
I think Bobby felt bad that I did not get to make the 1000 post mark last time.
Or maybe he’s planning on letting it hit over 900 again then updating before it can reach 1000, in some diabolically evil manner.
“Stick around to find out… =D”
Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Pander – Luckily, it’s not sad that I had to look up who ‘Doogie Howser’ was because his show stopped airing two years before I was born, so I’ll admit that I did look it up.
I feel bad for that kid. I’ll stick to my English and my short stories.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Charmaine:”Arguments can be incredibly sexy, so long as they involve the removal of clothing and angry make-up sex afterward.”
That’s true, I always forget about that. I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex. The last thing I want someone I’m angry at to do is put their hands on me.
Pander:”I have no problems with you being the fluffer girl.”
Are you saying you need one??? The dozens of scantily clad women scattered about this forum aren’t enough for you??
“Leah, Marzipan, get into see through nighties or lingerie, get your pillows, and get into an argument. Can be about anything. Obama, Rush Limbaugh. People who use the word ‘irregardless’. Anything.”
How about the word ‘guesstimate’? Cause I think it’s a cute word and everyone always makes fun of me for it.
“I keep trying to get Rihanna, Britney, or Jessica Simpson to marry me by showing a sign, but I have no luck, because I’m not a wife beater, I have job skills, and I’m not a football player who chokes when it matters (respectively).”
…You have job skills? Does forum commenting count for that?
Judas: Bob Dole thinks you should vote for Bob Dole. Because Bob Dole says so. Bob Dole.
I remember those days, that was fun. 
Mandi: That’s weird. In NV we say get rid of all the time. But I’ve never heard of Yinz. That was pretty cool.
Ah, Wikipedia, how I love thee.
Leah: “Yes. My dog made it. Somehow he grew opposable thumbs last night and made ice cream. *spoons marzipan yummy ice cream*”
Oh, dear. I was trying to be all sexual and insinuating. Bringing your dog into it… that’s just wrong.
(But I’ll eat your ice cream anyways.)
Tirinka: Windshield.
Windscreen? Wouldn’t that indicate holes or a weave of some kind? 
Are you really in college?
*ducks* I’ve had enough of college textbooks; please don’t throw it at me.
And don’t worry, I didn’t know who Doogie Howser was either, because I never watched the show. The one time I asked, I made my boyfriend choke. He’s 5 years older than me and making him feel old never fails to amuse me.
April 29th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Pander: “Lets test this. Leah, Marzipan, get into see through nighties or lingerie, get your pillows, and get into an argument. Can be about anything. Obama, Rush Limbaugh. People who use the word ‘irregardless’. Anything.”
…There are people who say ‘irregardless’? Really? O_o
“May I interest you in putting on this nice white t-shirt? *gets the hose*”
A gift! How thoughtful of you. Well, if you insist…
*commences the trying on of said t-shirt*
Wait, wh…what are you doing with that hose? Why are you looking at me like that?
Marzipan: “That’s true, I always forget about that. I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex. The last thing I want someone I’m angry at to do is put their hands on me.”
Oh…I suppose you have a point there. In that case, I suppose you could always settle for pretending to be angry with someone. In my opinion, angry make-up sex is far too enjoyable to pass up entirely, and I would hate to see you deprived of it for such trivial reasons as ‘personal space.’
April 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Marzipan – Yes, I’m really in college. I’m one of those smart kids you see on TV, except I haven’t been on TV, and probably won’t be. :/ So I have to settle with trying to convince you guys I really am in college.
And in all honesty, I don’t care too much if you guys don’t believe me, ’cause I wouldn’t believe it either. Heck, with the way I talk, I wouldn’t even believe I was thirteen. Besides that, everyone in my classes thinks that I’m 18 until I tell them otherwise.
Also – I’m only allowed to take two classes and I have to do homeschooling on the side. Would you imagine that you have to be at least 16 to take the GED and get a high school degree without going? The nerve of those ageists astounds me. -o-
But I shouldn’t braaaag… x3 (I just love it too much to quit.)
Charmaine – You are lucky to have not yet encountered the people who say irregardless. Talk about ignorant.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Tirinka: “I feel bad for that kid. I’ll stick to my English and my short stories.”
He got Wanda. I do not feel bad for the Doog.
Then he got to kill giant bugs and develop psychic powers, apparently.
Oh and mess up people’s trips to White Castle.
Marzipan: “I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex.”
Something we must rectify immediately.
“Are you saying you need one??? The dozens of scantily clad women scattered about this forum aren’t enough for you??”
1) I like to be ready at a moment’s notice, so I need someone on call at all times.
2) Regardless of whether I need one or not, it’s nice to have one available. It’s like having car insurance. You don’t necessarily have to use it, but it becomes really useful if there was to be something unforeseen.
“How about the word ‘guesstimate’? Cause I think it’s a cute word and everyone always makes fun of me for it.”
Works for me. And… pillow fight!
“…You have job skills? Does forum commenting count for that?”
Forum commenting and attorney. Both have the same job skillset, usually.
Judas: “Bob Dole thinks you should vote for Bob Dole. Because Bob Dole says so. Bob Dole. ”
Bob Dole. Bob Dole.
Bob Dole!
“The one time I asked, I made my boyfriend choke. He’s 5 years older than me and making him feel old never fails to amuse me. ”
I don’t feel old from that, personally.
Most likely because I’m not old.
Even though I ‘get’ all the jokes on Family Guy.
Charmaine: “There are people who say ‘irregardless’? Really? O_o”
A few have so far managed to escape my elite hit-squad, yes.
“Wait, wh…what are you doing with that hose? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Don’t mind the camera. It’s there for later review of …. stuff.
*SPLOOOOOOSH*
Tirinka: “And in all honesty, I don’t care too much if you guys don’t believe me, ’cause I wouldn’t believe it either.”
I don’t believe you!
“Heck, with the way I talk, I wouldn’t even believe I was thirteen.”
Totally don’t believe you!
“Besides that, everyone in my classes thinks that I’m 18 until I tell them otherwise.”
Not one bit.
“The nerve of those ageists astounds me. -o-”
No, no no, don’t believe.
“You are lucky to have not yet encountered the people who say irregardless.”
Ok maybe I believe you. Would you like to be on my elite hit-squad?
“Talk about ignorant.”
I’m starting a ‘junior members’ chapter of it.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Pander – Only if I can be the sniper.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Leah says: “The last time I was called cute I was jumping up and down with a spoonful of pasta. Creepy old men are straaaaange”
Aww… combining food fetish with jumping/trampoline fetish… why didn’t I think of that.
“Is said t-shirt white? Cause it’s no fun otherwise.”
What? Most light colors will do, as long as the shirt is cotton. I may be a virgin, but I’m no saint.
Marzipan says: “Now you’re just stealing from V. Watch it. Guy Fawkes masks are scary.
”
I haven’t seen V for Vendetta, but I do agree that governments should fear it’s people, not the other way around, but that’s more to avoid what happened in Atlas Shrugged.
“Please tell me that after you learned how to be a cunning linguist, you learned how to be a… cunning linguist.
”
Yes, I learned how, but right now it’s only book knowledge. I’m a nerd, I never got an opportunity to practice it.
“I’m gonna go kick Lucy’s ass if she was trying to take Bill off the market.
Oh, and the last time I was called cute, I was ranting about fricking-Miley-fricking-Cyrus. About ten seconds ago.”
Thanks for the defense against a fictional character…
, seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.
April 29th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
I used to love Guy Fawkes day when I was living in New Zealand. It was so much fun to go out to the park and watch the fireworks. Kinda like the fourth of July. :3
It’s kinda funny how they celebrate that day, though, considering he did try to blow up Parliament.
… That was kindasorta related to what you guys are talking about, right? o-o;;
April 29th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Tirinka: “Pander – Only if I can be the sniper.”
If you havent been paying attention from my style of posting, I’ll let you know now – anyone affiliated with the Pander Elite Hit Corps eventually becomes a sniper.
Bill M.: “Aww… combining food fetish with jumping/trampoline fetish… why didn’t I think of that.”
You creepy old man….
“I haven’t seen V for Vendetta, but I do agree that governments should fear it’s people, not the other way around, but that’s more to avoid what happened in Atlas Shrugged.”
I think she’s referring to Varrsuvius from another comic called Order of the Stick, actually.
“Thanks for the defense against a fictional character… , seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.”
Speak for yourself bub. I”m a perfect example of how a man can be macho, smexy. ever-so-studly and cute all rolled into one deitific package.
Tirinka Says: “That was kindasorta related to what you guys are talking about, right?”
Nope.
April 29th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irregardless
“Australian linguist Pam Peters (The Cambridge Guide to English Usage, 2004) suggests that irregardless has become fetishized, since natural examples of this word in corpora of written and spoken English are greatly outnumbered by examples where it is in fact only cited as an incorrect term.”
See Also:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ain't
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y'all
As a bona-fide, born-and-raised Texan, I say with pride that I have used all three of these words, and will probably continue to do so until the day I die.
April 30th, 2009 at 2:12 am
Nooooooo, LazerWulf… Please don’t use “regardless” with the unnecessary and redundant two letters in front of it. Then I’ll have to respect you less. And I had you ranked as one of the good guys! (And wikipedia is hardly a reputable source.)
Jon Pander: “Tirinka: “Pander – Only if I can be the sniper.â€
If you havent been paying attention from my style of posting, I’ll let you know now – anyone affiliated with the Pander Elite Hit Corps eventually becomes a sniper. ”
I thought I told you to leave her alone for a few years. Could have sworn there was something about lawsuits cutting into my profit margins.
Bill M.: “seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.”
You mean “women” and “men.” If you’re going to perpetuate stereotypes of gender constructs, kindly use the social terms rather than the biological ones.
Jon Pander: “Speak for yourself bub. Iâ€m a perfect example of how a man can be macho, smexy. ever-so-studly and cute all rolled into one deitific package.”
He meant MORTALS, Jon. We all know you are all the above things, and more. Including modest, which you forgot to mention yet again.
Tirinka: “I used to love Guy Fawkes day when I was living in New Zealand. It was so much fun to go out to the park and watch the fireworks. ”
I got to go to the bonfire night (Guy Fawkes) celebration at Lewes, in East Sussex, which apparently has the largest and most extravagant such celebration in England. (80,000 non-residents flock to it each year.) It struck me as a rather frighteningly angry ritual. There were five parades, all of which had 40 metre… er… 120 foot bonfires, and didn’t just burn effigies, but blew them up. And also threw firecrackers into the crowd as they went. And threw hundreds of firecrackers at these poor volunteers dressed as the Pope and Catholic priests… I mean, I knew in theory it was a rather angry holiday, but actually being there in person and seeing the merriment and drinking as the ritual violence very closely approached and sometimes overlapped with true violence was something entirely different. (Had a fab time though.)
Hey Jon, your church needs bonfires.
….and the rest of you, especially Marzipan, I promise I’ll actually write a response to the stuff you said to me. Someday. I’m in the middle of moving to a new apartment.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Lazerwulf – With regards to ‘irregardless’ – There’s no reason those of us who know what is right should dumb down the language just because the ignorant are using incorrect words. We should just teach them so they’re not ignorant anymore. Accepting irregardless as a word (oh god, they don’t even red-line it on firefox) would just be devolving the language.
I have no problem with ‘y’all’ other than it sounding weird and myself questioning the grammar.
‘Ain’t', however, I still choose to rigidly enforce as not being a word because it’s a contraction without its parts. What’s it contracting, ‘ai’ and ‘not’? :/ It doesn’t make sense.
But that’s enough of that, I don’t want to start an arguement, really I don’t. I just get annoyed, and I’m pretty obsessive over my pet peeves.
Jessica – I hope you have a nice move! 8D Don’t hurt yourself lifting boxes; don’t hurry to unpack that that isn’t neccessary.
April 30th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Tirinka – Thank you for the kind wishes. I’ve got most everything in boxes now, set to carry down the three flights of stairs to the ground floor. (I am never living on an upper floor of a building without an elevator again.) As per usual, my computer will be the absolute last thing I pack.
And I take it you’re a prescriptive grammarian, not a descriptive one? The student of literature within me agrees with you, but the student of anthropology and linguistics would like to point out that languages do change over time, and that “devolution” is hardly an accurate description for that shift. Although “irregardless” is a personal pet peeve of mine (though not as annoying as people mixing up then/than) I have to say that the invention of new (redundantly constructed) words is less troublesome than the ever-decreasing spoken/written vocabulary of the average English-speaker. At least, that’s my (in all honesty, relatively uninformed) opinion.
April 30th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I’m all for evolving a language and changing it over time – for example, who vs. whom is going to die out undoubtedly and very few will miss it (I actually just figured out how to use it) – but changes like ‘irregardless’ … eugh.
On another note – \o/ Yay for opinions.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Charmaine: “In that case, I suppose you could always settle for pretending to be angry with someone. In my opinion, angry make-up sex is far too enjoyable to pass up entirely, and I would hate to see you deprived of it for such trivial reasons as ‘personal space.’”
I can fake anger. One of the few things I DO fake.
Tirinka: No worries, I believe you! People on the Internets always tell the truth, right? Like Pander’s statements of prowess?
I do think it’s cool that you’re actually being challenged, but they should let you graduate regardless of age. I definitely agree on damning the ageists. I have a similar problem, in that I work with a bunch of women who think you don’t know anything unless you’re at least over thirty– and I now have more formal education than the majority of them. *sigh*
/rant
V for Vendetta has a whole speech involving the overuse of V words, which is what brought up the convo. But he did blow up Parliament, finishing Guy’s work. I dunno, I think fireworks are pretty appropriate. And burning effigies are pretty. But all together, it seems like kind of a mixed message for patriotism. And I didn’t know it was celebrated in New Zealand!
Pander: “Marzipan: “I’m possibly the only person in the world who does not do angry sex.â€
Something we must rectify immediately.”
You, my friend, might just be able to do that.
(on fluffers) “Regardless of whether I need one or not, it’s nice to have one available. It’s like having car insurance. You don’t necessarily have to use it, but it becomes really useful if there was to be something unforeseen.”
You just like having someone to mess around with you whenever you want. We see right through you and your silly ‘sex insurance.’
“Works for me. And… pillow fight!”
*whacks Pander in head with goose-down pillow*
…Are you really an attorney?
My gosh, the diversity here.
Bill M.: Crap, Atlas Shrugged is the only Ayn Rand I HAVEN’T read. I preferred Anthem. Much shorter.
I love to read, but even I have my limits.
“Yes, I learned how, but right now it’s only book knowledge. I’m a nerd, I never got an opportunity to practice it.”
Don’t worry, we’ll take care of that. >:D
“seriously, though, females such as yourself are cute way longer than males are.”
Hey! Quit gendering me! I’m a college-edumacated feminist, believe it or not! Just ignore the negligee I’m wearing for now.
P.S. I had no idea irregardless was a no-no word. I’ve seen it before, but not overly so. I swear I’m learning more in this forum than I am at school.
I’m a big enforcer of they’re/their/there, because there is no reason why they’re not using their words properly.
Jessica: No worries. I speak into the void and listen for an echo, but even when I don’t get one I still know someone’s listening.
Good luck with moving! Don’t do what my best friend’s best friend did: packed steak knives in the bottom of the box, went to readjust the box while carrying it, and severed her right quadriceps. Or at least severely poked.
And yay for people posting and making me a make a ridiculously long comment!
May 1st, 2009 at 12:06 am
I picked up on saying Irregardless from my dad, though he only said it to irritate my mom (in that joking-teasing way, mind you. My parents have been happily married for 35+ years and still going strong), and you can’t call yourself a Southerner if you don’t say Y’all or Ain’t. However, as a writer (albeit a writer of fanfiction), I do have an incredible respect for the English Language, so when I write, I hardly use any of these terms. As much as I hated writing essays in school, I am grateful that they have instilled in me that respect. (With the exception of LOL or BRB, I hardly ever use IM-ese, even on IM.)
May 1st, 2009 at 12:17 am
Marzipan & Jessica: I’m a big enforcer of… well, everything in regards to the English language. It’s actually kinda humorous, I guess, looking at it from someone else’s perspective. I treat it like a religion, almost. XD;; I’m not afraid of correcting those I know on their mistakes, regardless of how old they are. I think it’s ’cause that’s how I was raised, constantly being corrected. That’s how I learned, so… *shrug*
I think I like English and guard it so vehemently because it’s the one thing I can really tell people that I’m good at. I can be confident about it. -^ ^- It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside~
Also, yes, Guy Fawkes day is celebrated in New Zealand. They’re with the Brit’s too. :3 NZ is awesome, though. Those kiwis and their mumblin’… xd
It’s a beautiful country, but I’m not sure if I’d want to live there as an adult, given that they pay about 60% in taxes. DDDDx I’m not into that.
(ohshit, this little girl knows politics too? Apocalypse in three…)
May 1st, 2009 at 12:21 am
PS (and oh I hate to double post): Lazerwulf! Give me time to write my post so I don’t miss yours! XD
Not a fan of IM-ese, either, with the exception of a joking ‘nao’ or ‘moar’, and obviously the smileys. ‘Brb’ is in my repertoire, along with a few ‘lulz’ and some ‘G2g’s when I’m in a hurry. Oh, and joking ‘wut’ on occasion.
But can you blame me? XD; Jokes are jokes; so long as it doesn’t follow me everywhere, I’m fine.
(Ohnoes, hypocrite alert? You be the judge.)
May 1st, 2009 at 6:10 am
You can tell that I have finally jumped on the Pander Bandwagon…
Pander: I know. I keep trying to get Rihanna, Britney, or Jessica Simpson to marry me by showing a sign, but I have no luck, because I’m not a wife beater, I have job skills, and I’m not a football player who chokes when it matters (respectively).
Jessica Simpson did have the good taste to marry Nick Lachey for a short period of time…I’m pretty sure she hypnotized him with her tits or something…he dumped her because hse was so damn stupid
Marzipan: That’s weird. In NV we say get rid of all the time. But I’ve never heard of Yinz. That was pretty cool.
Ah, Wikipedia, how I love thee.
Ok that wasn’t a blatant use of Pittsburghese…I never realized that other places used “rid” as an actual word.
Tirinka: On another note – \o/ Yay for opinions.
Where have you been?? That’s all that has been going on since the comic started.
May 1st, 2009 at 8:05 am
Mandi: I’ve been off. At college. :3 Belated celebrations and exclamations are A-okay to me. -^ ^-
May 1st, 2009 at 4:24 pm
GO PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD.
IT’S FREE FOR TODAY.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who uses full, properly spelled language in IM and text-speak. It seemed like my boyfriend and I were the only people ON EARTH (:P) to do that, and I always got teased for it.
But really, if I press the ‘u’ button on my phone and have to press the ‘next’ button three times in order to get to the letter, wouldn’t it just be more efficient to press ‘y’ ‘o’ and ‘u’ and let the autospeller get it?
Then again, my phone’s lame.
May 1st, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Tirinka says: “It’s kinda funny how they celebrate that day, though, considering he did try to blow up Parliament.”
They say he was the only man who ever went to Parliament without false pretenses.
Jon Pander says: “I think she’s referring to Varrsuvius from another comic called Order of the Stick, actually.”
Ah… haven’t read that one…
Marzipan says: “Crap, Atlas Shrugged is the only Ayn Rand I HAVEN’T read. I preferred Anthem. Much shorter.
I love to read, but even I have my limits.”
Atlas Shrugged is long, but worth it. The only time that’s okay in it to skip ahead is during the interrupted radio broadcast, which is supposed to be a 3-hour speech. Once I got the point, I flipped forward, and was astounded at how long the speech was when written out. They’re supposedly making a movie next year.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of that. >:D”
Note to self: stock up on energy drinks
“Hey! Quit gendering me! I’m a college-edumacated feminist, believe it or not! Just ignore the negligee I’m wearing for now.
”
Sorry… I used those gender terms because by the time boys become men, they cannot 99.999999992% of the time be called cute. There are rare instances, but puberty is the cutoff for most males… Women, however, can be cute, especially in the eyes of their significant other well into their 30s.
And I’m already ignoring the negligee, I have to or Pander will send goons after me, something about “donating plasma the hard way.”
Myself says: “GO PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD.
IT’S FREE FOR TODAY.”
No it wasn’t. I tried walking out of the store with a copy, and got stopped. The misunderstanding got corrected, something similar happened at the store during the Sierra Mist Free days.
May 3rd, 2009 at 11:36 am
Jessica: “I thought I told you to leave her alone for a few
years. Could have sworn there was something about lawsuits
cutting into my profit margins.”
No, technically I’m supposed to leave her alone for
sexual-based stuff, which I have been. This is clearly
violence based, which is perfectly acceptable for young
teens to watch in our culture.
“You mean “women†and “men.†If you’re going to perpetuate
stereotypes of gender constructs, kindly use the social
terms rather than the biological ones.”
Or as I call em, ‘babes’ and ‘guys’.
“He meant MORTALS, Jon. We all know you are all the above
things, and more.”
This is true. This is all true.
“Including modest, which you forgot to mention yet again.”
I forget to mention it specifically -because- of my modest
demeanor.
“Hey Jon, your church needs bonfires.”
How about we compromise. Instead of bonfires, I take you all
to a beach where you can get all over tans. Topless is
allowed.
Tirinka, don’t read this stuff. We’re all going um… to
the library.
Tirinka: “‘Ain’t’, however, I still choose to rigidly
enforce as not being a word because it’s a contraction
without its parts. What’s it contracting, ‘ai’ and ‘not’? :/
It doesn’t make sense.”
You know, since Lazerwulf is from Texas, she (she, right?)
might have to find y’all and shoot y’all now.
Jessica: “I have to say that the invention of new
(redundantly constructed) words is less troublesome than the
ever-decreasing spoken/written vocabulary of the average
English-speaker.”
Apparently Oxford accepts d’oh as a word now. Hrm.
Everybody thank Homer. D’oh!
Marzipan: “I can fake anger. One of the few things I DO
fake.”
Many women fake a lot of things other than anger.
Well not the women I’m with, of course.
Tirinka, don’t read this. We’re talking about um….
economics.
” Like Pander’s statements of prowess?”
It’s a fact. I hear they’re planning on making a wikipedia
entry about it, in fact.
“You, my friend, might just be able to do that.”
Re angry sex: Go in angry, come out happy.
Take that as you will.
“You just like having someone to mess around with you
whenever you want.”
You know me so well.
“…Are you really an attorney?”
Actually yes I am. Corporate litigation and intellectual
property mostly. It’s driven me quite over the edge though.
“I preferred Anthem.”
I once proposed to a guy I know that they remake Anthem as a
movie starring Arnold Swartzenegger. I think it would work
out great. Seriously.
Read it again and picture Arnie in the lead role. It works.
Once he discovers the word ‘I’ he can even utter his catch
phrase.
Tirinka: “this little girl knows politics too?”
Not that impressive, actually. Most politicians know less
about politics than the average 13 year old to begin with.
Mandi: “You can tell that I have finally jumped on the
Pander Bandwagon…”
As is evidenced by the white, soon-to-be-drenched T-shirt.
“I’m pretty sure she hypnotized him with her tits or
something…”
Indeed it would be a powerful spell.
“he dumped her because she was so damn stupid”
Confuscious say, If boobies big, brain needs not be so. For
Man may think with one of two heads to woman with either.
Myself:”GO PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD. IT’S FREE FOR TODAY.”
Um. where?
May 3rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
It’s too late now… Nevermind.
Keep up the excelent comments! =D
May 3rd, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Pander: “Don’t mind the camera. It’s there for later review of …. stuff.
*SPLOOOOOOSH*”
*yelps* Ohmygoodness, so cold…hey, give me that camera!
*grumbles* You had better hope that I win, for your chance of survival hinges upon my victory.
What am I competing in, again?
“Speak for yourself bub. Iâ€m a perfect example of how a man can be macho, smexy. ever-so-studly and cute all rolled into one deitific package.”
Not to mention generous. Overlooking the drenching, you have given out a jacket and two T-shirts by my count.
“Regardless of whether I need one or not, it’s nice to have one available. It’s like having car insurance. You don’t necessarily have to use it, but it becomes really useful if there was to be something unforeseen.”
If you are above us mortals, shouldn’t there be no unforeseen occurrences for you due to your godly prowess? Or something like that, I imagine.
“Many women fake a lot of things other than anger. Well not the women I’m with, of course.”
I certainly hope not. Otherwise, I am afraid I would have to mock you relentlessly, and I do so prefer being nice to people.
Tirinka: “‘Ain’t’, however, I still choose to rigidly enforce as not being a word because it’s a contraction without its parts. What’s it contracting, ‘ai’ and ‘not’? :/ It doesn’t make sense.”
Exactly! Besides people who say ‘between you and I,’ ‘ain’t’ is perhaps my biggest pet peeve.
“I’m all for evolving a language and changing it over time – for example, who vs. whom is going to die out undoubtedly and very few will miss it (I actually just figured out how to use it) – but changes like ‘irregardless’ … eugh.”
…I will miss it. *sniff*
“I’m not afraid of correcting those I know on their mistakes, regardless of how old they are. I think it’s ’cause that’s how I was raised, constantly being corrected. That’s how I learned, so… *shrug*”
Hooray! Someone else with a grammar-happy family! *high-fives* I feel less alone.
Marzipan: “Hey! Quit gendering me! I’m a college-edumacated feminist, believe it or not! Just ignore the negligee I’m wearing for now.”
But if I ignore it, then I will feel like the most exposed person here. *shivers*
I need a blanket.
May 3rd, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Bill M.: “Sorry… I used those gender terms because by the time boys become men, they cannot 99.999999992% of the time be called cute. There are rare instances, but puberty is the cutoff for most males… Women, however, can be cute, especially in the eyes of their significant other well into their 30s.”
Not true. Girls can call their boyfriends cute and the guys have just got to grin and bear it.
“And I’m already ignoring the negligee, I have to or Pander will send goons after me, something about “donating plasma the hard way.—
Oh, don’t worry about Pander. There’s plenty of Marzipan to go around.
Pander: “How about we compromise. Instead of bonfires, I take you all to a beach where you can get all over tans. Topless is allowed.”
Well, obviously during the days we tan at the beach and at night we have a bonfire by the shore and make s’mores. Just think of the gooey marshmallow dripping all over.
“Tirinka, don’t read this stuff. We’re all going um… to the library… Tirinka, don’t read this. We’re talking about um…. economics.”
Stop condescending to the girl just cause she’s not legal. I know I was in SHARE (sex ed.) since I was like 10 (mainly so that early bloomers weren’t freaked the hell out by their periods) so I highly doubt she DOESN’T know what we’re talking about. She’s just not allowed to play too.
“Corporate litigation and intellectual property mostly. It’s driven me quite over the edge though.”
Well I could certainly see why. Definitely explains the sex drive.
“I once proposed to a guy I know…”
I KNEW IT.
“…that they remake Anthem as a movie starring Arnold Swartzenegger. I think it would work out great. Seriously. Read it again and picture Arnie in the lead role. It works.”
…Actually, it does. He’s kind of the ideal Randian superman.
Random side note: My boyfriend wants to know if you’ve seen Cannibal: The musical. I dunno why. Good movie, though. Then he said if you haven’t, and I quote, he’s going to “go all Alfred Packer on your ass.”
…And, it’s bedtime. Who’s joining me?
May 4th, 2009 at 5:59 am
Pander: I’m still a guy. Check back to the earlier posts on this page, back when we were still talking about Sailor Moon.
May 4th, 2009 at 11:54 am
HAHA x] Brilliant.
Sailor Moon FTW! :]
May 4th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
*Melts at what Guy says in panel two* Oh God…. I wish my boyfriend was that romantic….
May 4th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Oh God! *Dies laughing*
May 5th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Charmaine: “*yelps* Ohmygoodness, so cold…hey, give me that camera!”
I need to record this for prosterity!
“*grumbles* You had better hope that I win, for your chance of survival hinges upon my victory. ”
In any wet T-shirt contest, I always feel that I wind up being the winner because I get to judge.
“What am I competing in, again?”
Entry into the Church of Pander as a loyal minion babe, and possibly a harem girl.
“Not to mention generous. Overlooking the drenching, you have given out a jacket and two T-shirts by my count. ”
My generosity with giving clothing to babes is only matched with my need to get the clothing off them as soon as possible.
“If you are above us mortals, shouldn’t there be no unforeseen occurrences for you due to your godly prowess?”
It’s that stupid free will thing. It’s the reason I let things like ‘The Horde’ and Toolfan live.
Besides who wants to know everything that will happen. I like surprises.
“Otherwise, I am afraid I would have to mock you relentlessly, and I do so prefer being nice to people. ”
You won’t have to mock. Something else involving those last two letters are far more likely.
Tirinka, we’re talking about um…. cooking. Yeah. Cooking.
“Besides people who say ‘between you and I,’ ‘ain’t’ is perhaps my biggest pet peeve. ”
Just between you and I, do you have any other peeves I can pet?
Wait no, that didn’t sound right at all.
“Hooray! Someone else with a grammar-happy family! *high-fives* I feel less alone. ”
My mother was an english teacher and would threaten to beat me with an Oxford Dictionary if she heard me using bad grammar. *sniff*
“But if I ignore it, then I will feel like the most exposed person here.”
Believe me, everyone associated with the Church of Pander winds up being exposed.
“I need a blanket.”
No blanket for you.
Marzipan: “Not true. Girls can call their boyfriends cute and the guys have just got to grin and bear it.”
This is true.
“Oh, don’t worry about Pander. There’s plenty of Marzipan to go around.”
Hey now!
No, no. Worry about Pander. His elite hit squad is flawless.
“Well, obviously during the days we tan at the beach and at night we have a bonfire by the shore and make s’mores. Just think of the gooey marshmallow dripping all over. ”
You’re an excellent negoatiator, you realize that?
“Stop condescending to the girl just cause she’s not legal.”
No. It’s fun.
“She’s just not allowed to play too. ”
Tirinka, she’s um…. talking about our online poker games that we play.
Yeah. Poker.
Pok….er… Yes. That works on many levels.
“Well I could certainly see why. Definitely explains the sex drive.”
Actually most normal men would be too exhausted to have a sex drive after the hours I work
““I once proposed to a guy I know…†I KNEW IT.”
Unfair! taking it out of context!
Don’t worry hotties, the Pander is 100% manly hetero guy.
“…Actually, it does. He’s kind of the ideal Randian superman.”
I know! Isn’t it cool? Not sure who would play the girl though.
“Random side note: My boyfriend wants to know if you’ve seen Cannibal: The musical.”
You mean the one directed by the guy who made South Park?
“Then he said if you haven’t, and I quote, he’s going to “go all Alfred Packer on your ass.—
Ok again – I did not ‘propose’ in that way. It was as in ‘suggesting an idea’ proposal. Not an indecent proposal!
Can you please tell your boyfriend not to eat me? Erk.
“And, it’s bedtime. Who’s joining me?”
Me!
LazerWulf: “Pander: I’m still a guy.”
Ignore anything I said then.
“Check back to the earlier posts on this page, back when we were still talking about Sailor Moon.”
I wasn’t even paying attention to most of what I was saying back then.
Pesky: “*Melts at what Guy says in panel two* Oh God…. I wish my boyfriend was that romantic….”
Give him swine flu or something which gives him a high fever. When the delerium kicks in maybe he’ll become as romantic as delerious Guy.
May 5th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Marzipan says: “Not true. Girls can call their boyfriends cute and the guys have just got to grin and bear it.
”
That’s why I included an exception in my percentage.
“Oh, don’t worry about Pander. There’s plenty of Marzipan to go around.
”
Okay… *checks over shoulder* When it comes to you, I’ll not worry about Pander.
@ the “ain’t” debate
Actually, it started as someone drunk trying to say aren’t, but the r got slurred, and someone then spelled out what it sounded like, eventually catching on.
Jon Pander says: “Actually yes I am. Corporate litigation and intellectual property mostly. It’s driven me quite over the edge though.”
Ahh… a lawyer. You’re used to screwing people over. Your church makes total sense now.
May 5th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
XD i have to admit i’m sometimes more entertained by the comments than the comic… sorry bobby! ^^;
pander you’re a comedic genius, i’m starting to think. *presents homemade cheesecake* may i join your church?
May 6th, 2009 at 12:34 am
@ Godknowswho (Hey, Pander probably does): Darn. I’m out of the loop. No poker for me.
Charmaine: *tosses blanket* -^ ^-
(Being sick sucked all the long posts out of me. I’m better now, but they’re all gone. ;n; )
May 6th, 2009 at 1:18 am
Kori: That can happen when the people on the comment page update more frequently than the comic itself.
Not that there’s anything wrong with Bobby taking his time. If he didn’t, these comment sections wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.
Pander: Poker? I ‘ardly know ‘er!
May 6th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Hilarious. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this until yesterday! Thank goodness for the internet and for lots of free time to read hilarious shit like this!
May 6th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Pander: “Entry into the Church of Pander as a loyal minion babe, and possibly a harem girl.”
Strangely enough, neither one of those sounds particularly appealing to me.
Shocking, I know.
Can I have cake, instead?
“You won’t have to mock. Something else involving those last two letters are far more likely.”
I certainly hope you are referring to…erm, backpacking. No, wait! Hijacking is much more enjoyable.
“My mother was an english teacher and would threaten to beat me with an Oxford Dictionary if she heard me using bad grammar. *sniff*”
Oh, you poor thing! *swoops down with hugs and ice cream* There, now. Ice cream fixes everything.
“No blanket for you.”
That is okay. I will just leech all of the warmth off of you.
Tirinka: “*tosses blanket* -^ ^-”
*dives under said blanket* Ah, warmth…
*sticks her tongue out at Pander* Nyehh
May 6th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Pander: “You mean the one directed by the guy who made South Park?”
…Yes? I think so. The boyfriend’s asleep so I can’t ask.
“Can you please tell your boyfriend not to eat me? Erk.”
He won’t. He doesn’t swing that way, unlike Mr. Pander “100% manly hetero guy.”
*snicker* riiiiight…
“I know! Isn’t it cool? Not sure who would play the girl though.”
It would have to be someone disgustingly fawny over Ahnold. Stands out on her own as a beauty, but worships the ground he walks on. Ayn Rand had issues, I tell you.
Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill. 1) Uma Thurman already did it, and 2) I’ve not had my way with him yet. You’ll just have to learn to share.
And we actually have a sign somewhere in downtown Reno that says Poker in the front, Liquor in the back. I got in trouble when I read that aloud once.
Kori: “pander you’re a comedic genius, i’m starting to think.”
Welcome anyway, we of the harem are great friends. 
You do start to at first, but then he kind of wears on you and you get used to twenty snarky comments a day.
Tirinka: Glad you’re feeling better, but I hope you find your long-post voice again soon!
Charmaine: “I certainly hope you are referring to…erm, backpacking. No, wait! Hijacking is much more enjoyable.”
I think the word he was looking for is firetruck.
*snuggles in under blanket with Charmaine*
May 6th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Lies!! Lies!! [falls over laughing]
Guy’s expression is priceless.
May 6th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Marzipan: “I think the word he was looking for is firetruck.
”
But, firetruck is not a verb…
“*snuggles in under blanket with Charmaine*”
Oh, well. Verbs, nouns…same difference, really. *snuggles happily*
May 6th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Bill M.: “Okay… *checks over shoulder* When it comes to you, I’ll not worry about Pander.”
*sound of a gun being readied*
Caity, got a job for you to do. It involves shooting a gun. Bring the new hit squad trainee while you’re at it.
“Ahh… a lawyer. You’re used to screwing people over.”
And getting money for doing so.
“Your church makes total sense now.”
Glad you approve.
Kori Umiame: “XD i have to admit i’m sometimes more entertained by the comments than the comic… sorry bobby! ^^;”
Well we do often update the comments more frequently. But that’s easy to do since there’s no artwork involved. At least not artwork that would turn this into a NSFW site.
“pander you’re a comedic genius, i’m starting to think.”
Yes. Yes I am.
“*presents homemade cheesecake* may i join your church?”
If you’re hot.
Put on the T-shirt please *gets the hose and the camera again.
(Tirinka I’m um…. documenting something about gardening)
Tirinka: “No poker for me.”
There are so many things I want to say to this but can’t due to legal restrictions.
“Being sick sucked all the long posts out of me. I’m better now, but they’re all gone”
As long as I’m here, the long posts will never be gone.
Again, I want to say something but can’t because of legal reasons.
Grow up faster, Tirinka.
The Skrilla: “Not that there’s anything wrong with Bobby taking his time.”
Bobby’s currently on a secret mission – it involves ninjas but I can’t tell you all more than that.
“these comment sections wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.”
Well they would still be quite entertaining actually… just not nearly as long.
“Pander: Poker? I ‘ardly know ‘er!”
I’m glad someone got that. Don’t let Tirinka see with her below-age-of-legality eyes though.
Charmaine: “Strangely enough, neither one of those sounds particularly appealing to me.”
Try it. You’ll like it.
Trust me, I’m a lawyer.
“Can I have cake, instead?”
No cake, pie, or other pastry-type substances unless and until you’re in the Church of Pander. Sorry.
“I certainly hope you are referring to…erm, backpacking.”
Well you will definitely want to rest after it’s done. Fortunately we have a nice relaxing shower for that.
“Oh, you poor thing! *swoops down with hugs and ice cream* There, now. Ice cream fixes everything.”
Depending on where the ice cream is placed…
“That is okay. I will just leech all of the warmth off of you.”
Yes. Body heat. That’s what you get in the Church of Pander.
“*dives under said blanket* Ah, warmth…”
Gimme that. *snatch*
“*sticks her tongue out at Pander* Nyehh ”
If you’re going to stick that out be prepared to us it too.
Marzipan: “…Yes? I think so. The boyfriend’s asleep so I can’t ask. ”
Then yeah I did.
“unlike Mr. Pander “100% manly hetero guy.†*snicker* riiiiight… ”
Yep. I’m ao macho that I drink napalm to get rid of a heartburn.
“It would have to be someone disgustingly fawny over Ahnold.”
And who is hot.
“Stands out on her own as a beauty, but worships the ground he walks on.”
Uber-hot.
“Ayn Rand had issues, I tell you.”
Make sure the babe is hot.
“Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill.”
It’s obviouisly a pseudonym, so that’s a loophole.
“1) Uma Thurman already did it, and 2) I’ve not had my way with him yet. You’ll just have to learn to share.”
Ew, so Bill is already dead and you’re gonna have your way with a dead guy? And not the ‘vampire’ dead. The ‘zombie’ type of dead, except not even a zombie?
Blecch.
“And we actually have a sign somewhere in downtown Reno that says Poker in the front, Liquor in the back.”
You sure it’s not the other way around? That way sounds awfully unsanitary.
“You do start to at first, but then he kind of wears on you and you get used to twenty snarky comments a day.”
You love me and you know it. Get back in the tequila shower.
“Welcome anyway, we of the harem are great friends.”
Beneficially speaking.
“I think the word he was looking for is firetruck.”
Well it does involve a long hose.
“*snuggles in under blanket with Charmaine*”
Seriously gimme that *yank* Into the shower with you two.
Charmaine:
“But, firetruck is not a verb…”
I’m so manly that I can make nouns into verbs.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Pander: Am I supposed to be pretending I don’t know exactly what you guys are talking about? :/ I spent sixth grade in a bus filled with pervy, bisexual high schoolers, and it was a 4 hour round trip.
I’m also on the internet. If that hasn’t corrupted me by now, I don’t think anything will.
… I wuv joo guys. ouo
May 7th, 2009 at 12:41 am
must have that swine flu
May 7th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Charmaine: Well, none of the verbs you came up with actually ended in -ck, they ended in -ing. Cause they’re verbs.
Language is hard. Back to the snuggling.
Pander: ““Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill.â€
a lot in posts to Pander. Coincidence?
It’s obviouisly a pseudonym, so that’s a loophole.”
You mean like your name is a pseudonym?
“Ew, so Bill is already dead and you’re gonna have your way with a dead guy?”
Bill M. is not dead. And he’s not allowed to be. Stop being so greedy, there are plenty of girls with multiple harem memberships here.
“You sure it’s not the other way around? That way sounds awfully unsanitary.”
It might be. I don’t remember. But poker in the front and not the back might be preferable, because it won’t get you killed. I got frottaged once at a concert and I don’t like being poked in the back now.
“You love me and you know it. Get back in the tequila shower.”
Tequila certainly does a lot for that love…
“Seriously gimme that *yank*”
*yanks back* no freezing out the poor Charmaine! *wraps blanket tightly around us* now you’ve lost your snuggling priveleges.
I just noticed that I use
Tirinka: “I spent sixth grade in a bus filled with pervy, bisexual high schoolers, and it was a 4 hour round trip.”
HA. I remember those days… They’ve certainly gone places only spider monkey would have here. Also places that they don’t know aren’t actually possible. We got nothing to worry about. Well, except legal liability, ISP tracing, or getting banned.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Pander, I have officially decided that you are one of the Gods…The others will be figured out at a later date.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I had random “bisexual” girls in high school…actually they were just fuggers so they made out with girls publicly so that guys would talk to them.
fuggers – noun; so damn ugly it is hard to stand; f*****g ugly
May 7th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Pander: *holds t-shirt in hand and hesitates for a minute, grinning* ha yay i’m welcome. XD
and alright, alright i’ll put on the shirt… *does so* even though i know what’s coming so… *ducks behind table*
Marizpan: i’m sure we’ll all be great friends! ^^
May 7th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Tirinka: “Am I supposed to be pretending I don’t know exactly what you guys are talking about? :/”
For legal reasons, apparently yes.
“I spent sixth grade in a bus filled with pervy, bisexual high schoolers, and it was a 4 hour round trip.”
And if we were high schoolers too, we wouldn’t have to play this little game, now would we.
This is all your fault you know for telling us you’re a 13 year old Doogie Howser. If you lied and said you were of legal age, I wouldn’t have to be doing this. See my wonderful logic?
“I’m also on the internet. If that hasn’t corrupted me by now, I don’t think anything will.”
While it is true that, as Avenue Q aptly put it, the Internet is for porn, the Church of Pander does not want to cause too many legal hurdles for our chief finnancial officer/exculpator/whatever I’m calling her nowadays.
“… I wuv joo guys. ouo”
We wuv joo too, in a totally platonic way until 5 more years have passed.
Wern: “must have that swine flu”
No, the pig was in Dragonball Z, not in Sailor Moon.
Marzipan: “You mean like your name is a pseudonym?”
Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.
And people make fun of this name all the time anyway. heck I make fun of it. But if someone sends the ninjas after me, they will find that my kung fu is too strong, unlike Bill’s.
“Bill M. is not dead.”
Let him rest in peace, girl!
“Stop being so greedy,”
No. Me no likey sharing.
“But poker in the front and not the back might be preferable,”
But liquor in back. Ick.
“because it won’t get you killed.”
I’ll give some diagrams of how it can be accomplished without resorting to what I’m pretty sure you’re saying will get me killed.
“I got frottaged once at a concert”
Note to self, look up new word.
“and I don’t like being poked in the back now.”
Ok where’s that diagram…
“Tequila certainly does a lot for that love…”
I’m not picky about the tools I use to ensure the lovin’.
“*yanks back*”
*yanks back again* Don’t make me get mah pimpstick.
“no freezing out the poor Charmaine!”
But all sorts of grat things happen when she gets chilly!
“now you’ve lost your snuggling priveleges.”
Fine, we’ll just get straight to the orgy.
(Tirinka, I meant that to spell ogre but I’m a terrible speller. Honest)
“I just noticed that I use
a lot in posts to Pander. Coincidence?”
Because conversing with me fills you with joy and other things.
Mandi: “Pander, I have officially decided that you are one of the Gods…”
That’s part of the Church of Pander charter, accepting me as a deity.
Amen.
Get in the shower.
“I had random “bisexual†girls in high school…”
Why did no one tell me about these high schools.
I want answers, and now.
“actually they were just fuggers”
Ok just lost interest. Not into the ugg-o’s.
Kori Umiame: “and alright, alright i’ll put on the shirt… *does so* even though i know what’s coming so… *ducks behind table*”
Get her from behind ! *sploosh comes from behind, very cold water*
*when you jump in surprise, sploosh comes from the front.*
Take that as you will, people.
May 8th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Marry Me Comic: The Internet’s favorite destination for the perennially dateless. A little sad, actually.
May 8th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Pander: That’s part of the Church of Pander charter, accepting me as a deity.
Amen.
Get in the shower.
Fine…but I’m throwing out there you aren’t the only god
May 8th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Pander: “Get her from behind ! *sploosh comes from behind, very cold water*
*when you jump in surprise, sploosh comes from the front.*
Take that as you will, people.”
*shivers violently from the cold* agh dangit. >.< i was trying to avoid that. *looks at pander on the verge of a glare* are you trying to make me sick?
May 8th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Pander: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frottage
Actually, http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=frottage
That’s the definition I’m familiar with. Frottage and callypagian (I hope I’m spelling that right) are my boyfriend’s favorite words. Guess what his favorite pastime is.
““I just noticed that I use
a lot in posts to Pander. Coincidence?â€
Emoticon typo! emotypo? No, that sounds like a kid blogging ‘i ctu myslef and it flet gr8′
Because conversing with me fills you with joy and other things.”
Aw, crap. I meant to put
Jon: “Marry Me Comic: The Internet’s favorite destination for the perennially dateless. A little sad, actually.”
I suppose he missed all of the references to boyfriends and fiances. A little sad, actually.
Ironically, I am minus one boyfriend this weekend– he’s seeing family for Mother’s Day. This should mean that I’ll be posting on here more often, but I deliberately packed my schedule so I’ll probably post less. :/ Hope you can keep the orgy going without me. Kori, I’m counting on you.
May 8th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
I randomly thought of something while watching tv earlier…Stasia’s bodyguard (i can’t remember his name at the moment) should be played by Shaq…that was the general consensus…that random priest that marries Guy and Stasia should be played by Ben Stein.
May 9th, 2009 at 12:58 am
Marzipan says: “Pander, you’re not allowed to kill Bill. 1) Uma Thurman already did it, and 2) I’ve not had my way with him yet. You’ll just have to learn to share.
”
1a) The name of that movie has soured me on watching it…
1b) Wait… so I won’t die even if I’m killed? Sweet…
2a) HALLELUJAH!
2b) Pander? Share? It’d be easier to kill Sailor Moon.
“And we actually have a sign somewhere in downtown Reno that says Poker in the front, Liquor in the back. I got in trouble when I read that aloud once.”
Huh? Straight sex and a rim job? Well, if you’re up for it…
Mandi says: “I had random “bisexual†girls in high school…actually they were just fuggers so they made out with girls publicly so that guys would talk to them.”
There were a few “town bicycles” at my school, but the only “lady” I remember from my class shared a biology class with me my sophomore year. She was already married. It was also the only class the teacher graded on the curve, but went with the second or third highest score, and I ended up not needing to take a final the first semester, so the teacher told me beforehand, show up for the attendance, then go to the library for the remainder of class.
Jon Pander says: “*sound of a gun being readied*
Caity, got a job for you to do. It involves shooting a gun. Bring the new hit squad trainee while you’re at it.”
It’s okay, I won’t die, even if I’m killed.
“Bobby’s currently on a secret mission – it involves ninjas but I can’t tell you all more than that.”
Hmm… ninjas… either it’s the search for Anko, who’s gone missing for far too long, something to do with the Fairbanks 13, or a Last Blood/Dr. McNinja crossover… my money’s on Anko.
“It’s obviouisly a pseudonym, so that’s a loophole.”
Well, sorta. My legal name is Billy, I don’t peel labels from bottles of Bud, but I try not to lose people’s numbers ’cause I’m not anywhere they can find me. I miss the innocent kid I used to be that ran around with white plastic-grip pistols shot from the handlebars of my bike. People also keep telling me not to be a hero.
“Ew, so Bill is already dead and you’re gonna have your way with a dead guy? And not the ‘vampire’ dead. The ‘zombie’ type of dead, except not even a zombie?”
I couldn’t be a vampire? Hellsing Ultimate has the requirement that true vampires are virgins. That’s how Arucard was able to turn Seras Victoria.
Marzipan again says: “Bill M. is not dead. And he’s not allowed to be. Stop being so greedy, there are plenty of girls with multiple harem memberships here.”
Thanks.
“But poker in the front and not the back might be preferable, because it won’t get you killed. I got frottaged once at a concert and I don’t like being poked in the back now.
”
Gotcha, no pokey in back unless you ask for it… wait, if I’m licking in the back, isn’t my tongue poking it?
Jon Pander again says: “Let him rest in peace, girl!”
Hmm… be a dead guy like Bernie or Dracula and still attract women, or be like those who’ve been dead, but got better like Spock, Kirk, Captain Jack Sparrow, and other revived people that still attract women. Choices, choices…
“But liquor in back. Ick.”
Rim job. Besides, there are some apple booties that inspire me to repeat a line from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle… “The things I would eat out of her ass! You have no idea!”
Marzipan again says: “That’s the definition I’m familiar with. Frottage and callypagian (I hope I’m spelling that right) are my boyfriend’s favorite words. Guess what his favorite pastime is.
”
Callypygian, and rubbing your booty, if I were to combine the meanings of those two words. Marzipan, as long as you’re callypygian, things would go great… if you’re not, things will go good, just not great.
May 9th, 2009 at 1:05 am
Actually, i stand corrected, it’s callipygian, not callypygian.
May 9th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Thanks for the spelling fix.
And oh believe me Bill, I’m as callipygian as they get. A black girl walked up to me once and said ‘dayam girl, I WANT that ass!’
(I know, that’s a horrible racist stereotype. What’s more horrible is that it really did happen.)
May 9th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Pics or didn’t happen!
May 9th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Marzipan: “Hope you can keep the orgy going without me. Kori, I’m counting on you.”
*grins* no worries marzipan! ^^ it’ll still be intact when you return.
May 10th, 2009 at 7:22 am
Lol @ CI. Nope, the cake still isn’t real, and you still have no friends.
May 10th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
It’s pretty funny that everyone just skipped over my not on topic statement…also isn’t Ben Stein Jewish…that might make him disagree to play a priest
May 10th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Pander: That’s part of the Church of Pander charter, accepting me as a deity.
Amen.
Get in the shower.
Also if you are God does that make Tool(band)Fan the devil??
May 10th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Marzipan Says: “Thanks for the spelling fix.
And oh believe me Bill, I’m as callipygian as they get. A black girl walked up to me once and said ‘dayam girl, I WANT that ass!’”
If we ever meet, expect to hear that phrase again, just with a different meaning…
… unless she swung/swings that way…
Also, are you affected by lordosis (also known as swayback, colloquially)? It’s a curvature in the lumbar region of the spine that enhances the posterior profile for fanny fanatics such as myself, but has some side effects that aren’t so good…
May 11th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Jon: “Marry Me Comic: The Internet’s favorite destination for the perennially dateless.”
… no, too easy.
“A little sad, actually.”
Sorta like Jon’s love life (not me Jon, that Jon)
Mandi: “Fine…but I’m throwing out there you aren’t the only god”
Never said I was the only one. I’m the most internet-savvy one, though.
And the only one who has a fixation for shower orgies and hot babes in wet-t-shirt contests. Bacchus, you ain’t got nothin on me.
Kori Umiame: “*shivers violently from the cold* agh dangit. >.< i was trying to avoid that.”
Which is why I did it. Hotties are even hotter when they look semi-angry and all cold.
“*looks at pander on the verge of a glare*”
Rowr.
“are you trying to make me sick?”
No, but if you’re feeling sick, the love doctor is in to cure you.
*queue bad 70′s music*
Marzipan: Frottage and callypagian (I hope I’m spelling that right) are my boyfriend’s favorite words.”
I’m guessing callypagian means a person who tends to call people Paige, even when its not their name. Very rude, actually.
“Guess what his favorite pastime is.”
Substitute for Nyquil?
Hrm no really. lemme think…
Probably something involving spreading the frottage on your callypagian, if he reminds you in any way of me.
“Aw, crap. I meant to put Emoticon typo!”
We all know what you meant, no worries my dear.
“emotypo?”
emo typos stare into the dep, drk absys fo hoplessness nad despir.
“I suppose he missed all of the references to boyfriends and fiances. A little sad, actually.”
Jon wants to be like me but he can’t. Some of us have excellent time management skills and can do both date and comment on a webcomic forum. I know. Amazing, isnt it?
“Hope you can keep the orgy going without me.”
Don’t worry, I’ve hired some temps.
“Kori, I’m counting on you.”
I’m counting on you too, Kori. I can count to 21.
I’ll explain this later, when Tirinka’s gone to sleep and can’t hear it.
Mandi: “I randomly thought of something while watching tv earlier…”
Random thoughts are this forum’s bread and butter, baby.
“Stasia’s bodyguard (i can’t remember his name at the moment)”
Denny
“should be played by Shaq…that was the general consensus…”
Yep. I think I’m the first one who mentioned that, actually.
“that random priest that marries Guy and Stasia should be played by Ben Stein.”
Bueller? Bueller?
Bill M.: “1b) Wait… so I won’t die even if I’m killed? Sweet…”
*points gun at Bill M.*
“2a) HALLELUJAH!”
*blam*
“2b) Pander? Share? It’d be easier to kill Sailor Moon.”
Annnnnnnnnd Boom goes the dynamite.
(that’s my new catch phrase, stolen from Deadpool)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1R5PhReY5k
“It’s okay, I won’t die, even if I’m killed.”
Zombies don’t get nookie though.
“People also keep telling me not to be a hero.”
Good job.
“I couldn’t be a vampire?”
No you can’t be a vampire.
Actually you can be a Twilight-style vampire. Any women who want you then are women I do NOT want.
“Gotcha, no pokey in back unless you ask for it… wait, if I’m licking in the back, isn’t my tongue poking it?”
Bill M. has just legally changed his name to Marcal. Marcal Charmins.
Bleccch.
“Besides, there are some apple booties that inspire me to repeat a line from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle… “The things I would eat out of her ass! You have no idea!—
Whatever you say, Marcal.
Or do you prefer Mr. Charmins?
Marzipan: “they get. A black girl walked up to me once and said ‘dayam girl, I WANT that ass!’”
Um… she wasn’t saying what you think she was saying.
(S)he was obviously a trannie and wanted to have sex with you.
Which I guess is still a complement.
“I know, that’s a horrible racist stereotype.”
If I was black, I’d be more offended than when I watched a blaxploitation marathon on TV.
Nah I wouldn’t be actually.
“What’s more horrible is that it really did happen.”
Does her millkshake bring all the boys to the yard? Is your shake better than hers. Would you tell me more but you’d have to charge?
Mandi: “Also if you are God does that make Tool(band)Fan the devil??”
No. That would imply there’s somewhere that he actually belongs.
Bill M.:”Also, are you affected by lordosis (also known as swayback, colloquially)? It’s a curvature in the lumbar region of the spine that enhances the posterior profile for fanny fanatics such as myself”
Bill… that was way too wordy. Just put use simpler vocabulary (since we’ve already crossed the ‘stereotype’ line anyway):
Bill likes big butts and he cannot lie.
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she’s wearing
Bill’s hooked and he can’t stop staring
May 11th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
In the immortal words of Sir Mix-A-Lot:
“I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung”
May 11th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Pander: *glares* you are trying to get me sick…. you dirty man. XD and i hope you can count to four because that’s how many years until i’m 21… *goes and finds marzipan’s abandoned blanket*
May 11th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I love how the banner says “new page every Friday!”.
May 11th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Alex: I love how the banner says “new page every Friday!â€.
By that they mean whenever the hell they get to it…not that anyone really minds what with the 1000 posts we are trying to get to.
Pander: Actually you can be a Twilight-style vampire. Any women who want you then are women I do NOT want.
Why the hell do they sparkle and have no fangs!?! I actually read those books and own the movie…mostly because I love Robert Patterson…and people kept asking me if I read the damn things.
Pander: (S)he was obviously a trannie and wanted to have sex with you.
There is a tranny on my bus…it’s man name is Jason…I don’t think it has a woman name yet.
Kori:*glares* you are trying to get me sick…. you dirty man. XD and i hope you can count to four because that’s how many years until i’m 21… *goes and finds marzipan’s abandoned blanket*
And here is another minor…this is a first for me I’m usually younger than everyone in the room
May 11th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
No, I did not copy Pander. In my defense, his post was probably awaiting moderation at the time I wrote mine.
May 12th, 2009 at 12:45 am
TheSkrilla: “In the immortal words of Sir Mix-A-Lot:”
Ahem. I came up with that first.
Lets have a public service announcement on this fact from our favorite psychopathic hero, Deadpool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn6xBlzqGGE
Amen.
Annnnnnnnnnnnd …. Boom goes the dynamite.
Kori Umiame: “Pander: *glares* you are trying to get me sick….”
Of course not.
“and i hope you can count to four because that’s how many years until i’m 21… ”
Can we say 3 instead?
“*goes and finds marzipan’s abandoned blanket*”
No blankets. Hotties must warm up by using the hottub, shower orgy, or body head only.
As for the blanket, I buried it with a shovel, then I buried the shovel.
alex: “I love how the banner says “new page every Friday!â€.”
It’s to lull you into a false sense of confidence. Gotcha!
Mandi: “By that they mean whenever the hell they get to it…not that anyone really minds what with the 1000 posts we are trying to get to.”
It’s an admirable goal.
“Why the hell do they sparkle and have no fangs!?!”
They don’t need fangs. They kill you with pure angst and bad acting.
“I actually read those books and own the movie…”
Oh god no, why? You’re just encouraging them to make more movies like that.
“mostly because I love Robert Patterson…”
If you love him you’d do him a favor and beat him over the head with the shovel I buried the blanket with to knock some sense into him.
“and people kept asking me if I read the damn things.”
Please say no. Lie if you have to.
“There is a tranny on my bus…it’s man name is Jason…I don’t think it has a woman name yet.”
Amateur.
“And here is another minor…”
Nah she’s 18. She’s just trying to get me to not spray her with the hose again.
TheSkrilla: “No, I did not copy Pander. In my defense, his post was probably awaiting moderation at the time I wrote mine.”
Regardless, I like the Deadpool PSA and it still works.
May 12th, 2009 at 6:55 am
TheSkrilla: In the immortal words of Sir Mix-A-Lot:
“I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprungâ€
every time I hear or see that song I immediately think of Donkey and Dragon
May 12th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Myself: When are cameras EVER present during the best (and most unbelievable) moments of your life?? Of course I don’t have pictures. And I’m not sending you a picture of my butt, either.
Bill M: “If we ever meet, expect to hear that phrase again, just with a different meaning…
All the more reason to demand massage, right?
… unless she swung/swings that way…”
Well, you never know, in the blessedly more tolerant society we live in today…
But I just know you’ll say it with more love.
Yeah, I do have some lordosis– my lower back curves inward and my ab and back muscles have developed a bit strangely to compensate. I can’t stand still for long periods of time without some wicked aching.
Another side effect besides the prominent ass that you might not think of is my upper back curves forward a little bit. Not quite a hunchback, but I’m tall enough to get the lumbering ‘yesss massster’ look going. *sigh*
Pander: “Bacchus, you ain’t got nothin on me.”
Actually, I do wonder if you’re some reincarnation of Bacchus. Except the whole legal thing. I highly doubt Bacchus cared much about the law. Particularly the statutory part.
“Probably something involving spreading the frottage on your callypagian, if he reminds you in any way of me.”
Ding ding ding! You win! Do you want the sportscar or the new house?
“Does her millkshake bring all the boys to the yard? Is your shake better than hers. Would you tell me more but you’d have to charge?”
Yes. On all counts.
“Bill… that was way too wordy. Just put use simpler vocabulary (since we’ve already crossed the ’stereotype’ line anyway):”
We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Or, to be slightly less obnoxious fangirl, *I* understood what he said, so bitchyer quitchin.
How DO you spell that, really?
“As for the blanket, I buried it with a shovel, then I buried the shovel.”
How did you bury the shovel without a shovel?
“If you love him you’d do him a favor and beat him over the head with the shovel I buried the blanket with to knock some sense into him.”
How? You buried it! And I don’t even know how you buried it!
TheSkrilla: Too late! Work on your timing, bro!
)
*snuggles up to Kori* I’ll warm you back up!
Mandi: “Why the hell do they sparkle and have no fangs!?! I actually read those books and own the movie…mostly because I love Robert Patterson…and people kept asking me if I read the damn things.”
My boyfriend is saying I’m old. Obviously I’m too wrinkly and saggy for him at 22. :’( He’ll just have to go rob the cradle again and I’ll teach you guys what’s what. 
I thought they did have retractable fangs? I confess, I read the book too, and almost liked it. Wouldn’t watch the movie.
So how old are you? I used to always be the youngest (I started chat rooming when I was 13) but now I’m always older.
“every time I hear or see that song I immediately think of Donkey and Dragon”
Me too!!! And Dragon’s big pink tail swinging all over!
…And the village people doing the YMCA song.
I thought age of consent was 18? What’s this counting to 21? I admit it’ll be harder to get her DRUNK…
May 12th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Marzipan: “When are cameras EVER present during the best (and most unbelievable) moments of your life??”
I have a camera crew following me around at all times.
“And I’m not sending you a picture of my butt, either.”
Again – Sir Mix-a-Lot:
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
“I can’t stand still for long periods of time without some wicked aching. All the more reason to demand massage, right?”
Take it away, Sir Mix-A-Lot:
I like ‘em round, and big
And when I’m throwin’ a gig
I just can’t help myself, I’m actin’ like an animal
Now here’s my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
“Another side effect besides the prominent ass that you might not think of is my upper back curves forward a little bit. Not quite a hunchback, but I’m tall enough to get the lumbering ‘yesss massster’ look going. *sigh*”
… Sir Mix-A-Lot has not prepared me for a response to this, sorry.
“Actually, I do wonder if you’re some reincarnation of Bacchus. Except the whole legal thing. I highly doubt Bacchus cared much about the law. Particularly the statutory part. ”
Even Bacchus does not want to wind up in jail as the boyfriend of a guy tattooed half-italian,half-polynesian dude named Bruno.
“Ding ding ding! You win! Do you want the sportscar or the new house?”
Yes.
“We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request.”
Sir Mixalot is more entertaining than what Bill said.
“*I* understood what he said, so bitchyer quitchin.”
No. And gimme my house and sportscar, woman.
“How did you bury the shovel without a shovel?”
I buried it with another shovel. Then I buried that shovel as well.
“How? You buried it!”
Details.
“*snuggles up to Kori* I’ll warm you back up!”
Yes. This is much better. Hug… close… that’s right…. it’s okay *gets out the videocamera* ok now…. rub her back a bit…. good, good, ok… now smell her hair.
“I confess, I read the book too, and almost liked it.”
You’re setting back the woman’s movement by saying that, you realize.
“I thought age of consent was 18? What’s this counting to 21?”
She’s 18. That’s what I’ll be telling the judge, too.
“I admit it’ll be harder to get her DRUNK…”
Jello shots.
May 13th, 2009 at 12:29 am
And yet… yeah, no.
May 13th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Pander:Please say no. Lie if you have to.
At first I did say no then my mom bought me this special edition dvd with like 8 tons of special features and it was like $10 so I watched it…then I got the boos and read them…It’s what I do I haven’t found a job yet and really do have no life.
Marzipan: I thought they did have retractable fangs? I confess, I read the book too, and almost liked it. Wouldn’t watch the movie.
My boyfriend is saying I’m old. Obviously I’m too wrinkly and saggy for him at 22. :’( He’ll just have to go rob the cradle again and I’ll teach you guys what’s what. 
So how old are you? I used to always be the youngest (I started chat rooming when I was 13) but now I’m always older.
Nope, no fangs. They leave full on bite marks…it’s in the movie more than the book…plus I watched all those special features and Stephenie Meyer said they don’t have fangs. BTW I’m 19 only a few months away from 20…but I’m a November baby so at school when people found out my age at the beginning of the year they’d say stuff like “did you skip a grade” no I’m just the age curve damnit.
Marzipan: Me too!!! And Dragon’s big pink tail swinging all over!
…And the village people doing the YMCA song.
2 words – Onion Carriage
May 13th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Mandi: “At first I did say no then my mom bought me this special edition dvd with like 8 tons of special features and it was like $10 so I watched it…then I got the boos and read them…It’s what I do I haven’t found a job yet and really do have no life.”
Annnnnd… boom goes the dynamite.
May 14th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
*hides behind marzipan* thank goodness i thought i was gonna get sick >.<
and no pander we can’t say three XD that’d be a lie.
mandi, heh i know how you feel being the youngest in the room XD i’m always youngest… o.o not here though i’m second youngest. ^^
May 15th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Actually, it would be quite easy to bury a shovel (without using another shovel.) The shovel is only required to dig the hole. After that, the dirt is loose enough that you don’t need the shovel to fill it back in, that is, if you’re not afraid to get a little dirty.
May 15th, 2009 at 2:13 am
Kori Umiame: “and no pander we can’t say three XD that’d be a lie.”
Ok then. Just how hot are you then? I need to do a cost-benefit analysis of the jailbait vs hotness formula, invoking the Woody Allen corollary.
“mandi, heh i know how you feel being the youngest in the room XD i’m always youngest… o.o not here though i’m second youngest. ^^”
You know, even though I’m older than you, I’m extremely immature, so that should make us about even. That makes it legal. I know – I’m a lawyer. Trust me.
LazerWulf: “Actually, it would be quite easy to bury a shovel (without using another shovel.)”
And Pander wins!
“The shovel is only required to dig the hole.”
Pander really digs holes! Like … totally.
“After that, the dirt is loose enough that you don’t need the shovel to fill it back in, that is, if you’re not afraid to get a little dirty.”
Pander is not afraid to get a little dirty. Or a lot dirty.
Figuratively or literally. Cause we have a tequila shower orgy.
And….. boom goes the dynamite.
May 15th, 2009 at 5:56 am
Kori: mandi, heh i know how you feel being the youngest in the room XD i’m always youngest… o.o not here though i’m second youngest. ^^
the weird thing is that people are extra weirded out by the fact that I don’t look my age…Like when I turned 18 I was in college and people were all like “You’re only 18!?!” It gets rather annoying
May 15th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Wow I’ve been gone for a while.
Okay first. *hands Kori Umiame an invisible blanket*
Second, the Church of Pander expands…no comment, too easy.
And finally…um…here’s some elephants! *brings in elephants*…don’t ask, I don’t know where I got them either
May 15th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
More more more? <3
May 15th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Ukimoni: “Okay first. *hands Kori Umiame an invisible blanket*”
*takes it away and buries it in an invisible hole with an invisible shovel, then buries the invisible shovel in another invisible hole*
No blankets unless after fornication. If you want warmth, use body heat or a nice warm shower orgy. So sayeth me.
“Second, the Church of Pander expands”
Not sure where you’re quoting…
“no comment, too easy.”
The Church of Pander fully endorses hot girls being too easy as well.
May 15th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Pander: “*takes it away and buries it in an invisible hole with an invisible shovel, then buries the invisible shovel in another invisible hole*”
Really? Hmm I thought even you would be okay with that but oh well.
“Not sure where you’re quoting…”
Just in general. You know stating the obvious and such.
May 15th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Mandi: Onion Carriage! We loved that.
LazerWulf: “Actually, it would be quite easy to bury a shovel (without using another shovel.) The shovel is only required to dig the hole. After that, the dirt is loose enough that you don’t need the shovel to fill it back in, that is, if you’re not afraid to get a little dirty.”
Damn you and your logic! I assumed he was digging a different hole to bury the shovel.
Pander: “You know, even though I’m older than you, I’m extremely immature, so that should make us about even.”
If we’re going by your mental age, that would make you even younger than Tirinka. And if we’re going by the fact that you’re a lawyer, then nothing you say is trustable.
Ukimoni: “Okay first. *hands Kori Umiame an invisible blanket*”
Now that is a very efficient solution. Very good.
Pander: “No blankets unless after fornication. If you want warmth, use body heat or a nice warm shower orgy. So sayeth me.”
HelLO, I’m snuggling under the invisible blanket with her! What do you THINK this is going to lead to??
At least Ukimoni is smart. She almost makes up for you definite lack of common sense.
May 15th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Marzipan: “HelLO, I’m snuggling under the invisible blanket with her! What do you THINK this is going to lead to??”
”
Exactly!
“At least Ukimoni is smart.”
Aw, shucks. Not really.
“She almost makes up for you definite lack of common sense.
…Woah wait. “She”?!?! Yeah, no I’m male thank you.
May 16th, 2009 at 12:43 am
Jon Pander says: “*points gun at Bill M.* *blam* Annnnnnnnnd Boom goes the dynamite.”
Dude, that hurt. I may not die when I’m killed, but I’m not invulnerable.
“Zombies don’t get nookie though.”
One word… necrophilia…
“Bill… that was way too wordy. Just put use simpler vocabulary”
Okay, so in the immortal words of Sir Mix-A-Lot (â„¢)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkJdEFf_Qg4
Marzipan says: “Well, you never know, in the blessedly more tolerant society we live in today…
All the more reason to demand massage, right?
But I just know you’ll say it with more love.
Yeah, I do have some lordosis– my lower back curves inward and my ab and back muscles have developed a bit strangely to compensate. I can’t stand still for long periods of time without some wicked aching.
Another side effect besides the prominent ass that you might not think of is my upper back curves forward a little bit. Not quite a hunchback, but I’m tall enough to get the lumbering ‘yesss massster’ look going. *sigh*”
Okay, now all that would make you the perfect woman in my view would be long, flowing red hair and cute glasses. I would definitely volunteer too give you lower-back massages to ameliorate the pain associated with your lordosis, and if I’m not the best you’ve ever had the first time out, I’ll get better with time.
“We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Or, to be slightly less obnoxious fangirl, *I* understood what he said, so bitchyer quitchin.
”
How DO you spell that, really?
Nice verbiage… and I’ve seen clothing with the Kwitcherbitchin logo which is really just a compound misspelling of quit your bitching…
“How did you bury the shovel without a shovel?”
I assumed heavy machinery was involved… any of the different types of loaders would do.
“used to always be the youngest (I started chat rooming when I was 13) but now I’m always older.
My boyfriend is saying I’m old. Obviously I’m too wrinkly and saggy for him at 22. :’( He’ll just have to go rob the cradle again and I’ll teach you guys what’s what. 
”
Wow… 22. So the difference in our ages is only 10 years… that’s not bad. My parents had a 17 year gap in their ages.
May 16th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Pander: “You know, even though I’m older than you, I’m extremely immature, so that should make us about even. That makes it legal. I know – I’m a lawyer. Trust me.”
Since when can you trust lawyers??
“No blankets unless after fornication. If you want warmth, use body heat or a nice warm shower orgy. So sayeth me.”
Hmmm…cuddles or shower orgy…it’s a tough decision
May 17th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Agh! Sorry Ukimoni!
Genders are tough.
It’s just so easy to assume that a smart idea came from a girl. It’s a compliment to you, really.
Bill: “Okay, now all that would make you the perfect woman in my view would be long, flowing red hair and cute glasses.”
But yeah, I like older men. 
Um, well I have the cute glasses. And flowing hair. Damn redheads steal all the glory.
“I would definitely volunteer too give you lower-back massages to ameliorate the pain associated with your lordosis”
I could live with this.
“and if I’m not the best you’ve ever had the first time out, I’ll get better with time.”
Oh, from what I’ve heard from you so far I’m sure your creativity will make up for any lack of direct experience.
“I’ve seen clothing with the Kwitcherbitchin logo which is really just a compound misspelling of quit your bitching…”
I just like bitchyer quitchin. I’m lysdexic like that.
“Wow… 22. So the difference in our ages is only 10 years… that’s not bad. My parents had a 17 year gap in their ages.”
Well, the boyfriend is five years older than me, which made old jokes a lot less relevant to you guys without knowing that. Oops.
May 17th, 2009 at 11:53 am
So, seriously…when is the next page coming??
May 17th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Ukimoni: “Really? Hmm I thought even you would be okay with that but oh well.”
I can never resist using a running gag.
“Just in general. You know stating the obvious and such.”
Rookie mistake, I guess.
Marzipan: “Damn you and your logic! I assumed he was digging a different hole to bury the shovel. ”
Logic… the one thing you never expected from me! Ha!
“If we’re going by your mental age, that would make you even younger than Tirinka.”
Wait, does this mean I can say lewd things to her as well now?
“And if we’re going by the fact that you’re a lawyer, then nothing you say is trustable.”
Nonsense, we are a noble profession that will sue you into oblivion if you say otherwise.
“HelLO, I’m snuggling under the invisible blanket with her! What do you THINK this is going to lead to??”
…. you make a good point, young padawan.
But warming up in a nice shower orgy means you’d also be naked. Which scores bonus points.
If it was scrabble, then it would be like using a Q and Z and to make the word Quizzical on a triple word score whie using all of your tiles.
Ukimoki: “…Woah wait. “Sheâ€?!?! Yeah, no I’m male thank you.”
What you were saying didn’t seem very mannish, I guess. I, on the other hand, am utterly manly.
Bill M.: “Dude, that hurt. I may not die when I’m killed, but I’m not invulnerable.”
Don’t listen to the hype, sure you do.
“One word… necrophilia…”
You can have any of the girls who are into that, k?
“Okay, so in the immortal words of Sir Mix-A-Lot (â„¢)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkJdEFf_Qg4”
Pretty much what I already said, Bill.
“I would definitely volunteer too give you lower-back massages to ameliorate the pain associated with your lordosis,”
Bill, if she’s into necrophilia, you’re all set!
“and if I’m not the best you’ve ever had the first time out, I’ll get better with time.”
Something very funny here about the fact that this is being said by a virgin.
Mandi: “Since when can you trust lawyers??”
Since forever, come June.
“Hmmm…cuddles or shower orgy…it’s a tough decision”
You can cuddle after we’re done with the shower orgy. In the shower.
Then another orgy.
Marzipan: “Genders are tough. ”
I heard that’s one of the new things that Barbie says in her new doll, Trannie Barbie. “Genders are tough!”
“Oh, from what I’ve heard from you so far I’m sure your creativity will make up for any lack of direct experience. ”
I’m sure that you might be able to give him direct experience in other areas which he hasn’t gotten yet as well in return.
“I just like bitchyer quitchin. I’m lysdexic like that. ”
It’s like a sitcom. Lordo and the Zomb.
Or Zombie and the Lord.
no wait, that sounds like some bad religious horror movie.
Marz you realize I say this with love, right?
“Well, the boyfriend is five years older than me, which made old jokes a lot less relevant to you guys without knowing that.”
Woah woah waitasec.
Bill, she’s got a guy already. She’s just usin’ you for your massages.
Laslo: “So, seriously…when is the next page coming??”
It’s coming to a theatre near you.
May 17th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Oh, Bobby, this comic was hilarious! xD “YOU’RE AN IMPOSTER!” Almost wet my pants laughing. At least I didn’t forget I was peeing, eh, Parker? -shit-eating grin- Anyways, this was a great story. I hope to read more soon!
May 18th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Pander: “You can cuddle after we’re done with the shower orgy. In the shower. Then another orgy.”
Wouldn’t that be a little tough…cuddling in the shower…someone could get hurt
“Or Zombie and the Lord. no wait, that sounds like some bad religious horror movie.”
or a random part of Family Guy
May 18th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Back to the original topic, Sailor Moon is a classic — which is another way to say it’s passe. If you want a more recent reference to anime magical girls and Japanese moon mythology, try googling “getsumen to heiki miina”. The series is jet-propelled lunacy (pardon the pun) with decidedly overendowed magical bunny-girls bashing and blasting obsessed space-alien sports-fanboys with fruit- and vegetable-based weaponry. It’s a lot more fun than the nutshell description probably makes it sound….really. On the other hand, Sailor Moon is probably more appropriate here, given that this is a flashback to the past…
May 18th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Marzipan says: “Um, well I have the cute glasses. And flowing hair. Damn redheads steal all the glory.
”
Well, let’s see… epic booty, glasses w/ long hair, not a redhead. In the immortal words of Meat Loaf, “2 out of 3 ain’t bad,” and in the immortal words of Weird Al Yankovic, “I know I probably couldn’t ask for too much more, I honestly can say you’re an above-average lady, You’re almost just what I’ve been looking for…”
“I just like bitchyer quitchin. I’m lysdexic like that.
”
Oh well, pobody’s nerfect.
“Well, the boyfriend is five years older than me, which made old jokes a lot less relevant to you guys without knowing that. Oops.
But yeah, I like older men. 
”
Ah, I see…
Jon Pander says: “Pretty much what I already said, Bill.” I know that’s what you said, but I was proffering up the Gilbert & Sullivan version, which is much more apropos for me, due to my pigmentation.
“It’s like a sitcom. Lordo and the Zomb.
Or Zombie and the Lord.
no wait, that sounds like some bad religious horror movie.”
Hmm…
Zombies For Jesus! I get it now… that SO needs to go on a t-shirt.
Toss in Romans 12:1 on there for good measure…
“Bill, she’s got a guy already. She’s just usin’ you for your massages.”
Pander, I’m not as handsome as you. And as Red Green says, “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” I can live with just being her massagist… and before I forget, you also out-humble me…
May 18th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Zombie rape, the new necrophilia. Somehow more appropriate on Last Blood. Oh well.
May 18th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Mandi: “Wouldn’t that be a little tough…cuddling in the shower…someone could get hurt”
I’m willing to take the risk.
“sounds like some bad religious horror movie.â€
“or a random part of Family Guy”
The two need not be mutually exclusive.
Judas: “Zombie rape, the new necrophilia. Somehow more appropriate on Last Blood. Oh well.”
Anything to get to that 1000 post mark, I guess.
May 19th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Judas: Zombie rape, the new necrophilia. Somehow more appropriate on Last Blood. Oh well.
Zombies, yes…rape, no….necrophilia, for some unfortunate reason, yes…wow these conversations are getting more and more weird…NEW PAGE NEEDED!!
Laslo: “So, seriously…when is the next page coming??â€
Pander: It’s coming to a theatre near you.
It’s already there it just hates us right now and is hiding. Plus it wants to see where this is going.
May 19th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Really? It’s been like a month.
Not a single update?
Jerk.
Way to string us along.
May 19th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Oh grow up Kat. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before, and it’s not like it won’t happen again. Seriously, don’t you have a life you can go live while you wait? Or is this all you’ve got? Waiting for the next page to go up in some webcomic?
May 19th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Pander: “Logic… the one thing you never expected from me! Ha!”
Yeah, for def. The only other thing I’d never expect is you using your northern head first.
“Wait, does this mean I can say lewd things to her as well now?”
…oh, I’m not even touching that one. Tirinka, you’re on your own.
“…. you make a good point, young padawan.
But warming up in a nice shower orgy means you’d also be naked. Which scores bonus points.”
Showers are so annoying. After you get out it starts evaporating so I get cold, and I’m all damp, and then the wet hair starts ruining the mood…
“I, on the other hand, am utterly manly.”
*snicker*
“Marz you realize I say this with love, right?”
*snicker*
“Bill, she’s got a guy already. She’s just usin’ you for your massages.”
If he gets (theoretical internet) sex out of it, what the hell does he care???
I’m only dating my guy for his money.
And he’s watching me type this and giggling.
Mandi: “wow these conversations are getting more and more weird…NEW PAGE NEEDED!!”
I definitely agree. I’ve just been staying away from the necrophilia silliness because it’s too silly for me.
And I’ve heard on good authority that zombie rape is better than sparkly vampire rape.
Judas: I agree the jerk comment may have gone too far but I think Kat’s comment was typed with love. Even those of us who do have lives are tired of waiting.
May 19th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Pander: “What you were saying didn’t seem very mannish”
Probably because it was intelligent.
“It’s coming to a theatre near you.”
In 3D no less.
“You can cuddle after we’re done with the shower orgy. In the shower.
Then another orgy.”
I thoroughly support the plan of action.
Mandi: “Wouldn’t that be a little tough…cuddling in the shower…someone could get hurt”
Hmm, this needs researching. Why don’t you practice with someone in the shower and we’ll see if anything happens.
Judas: “Seriously, don’t you have a life you can go live while you wait?”
Woah, people who comment on this have lives? Where do you get these…lives?
May 19th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Mandi: “wow these conversations are getting more and more weird…”
Yes. Let us harken back to the days of pie fights and tequila shower orgies with lesbian and bi-curious vampire babes.
You know, the non-wierd stuff.
“It’s already there it just hates us right now and is hiding.”
Actually I’ve already seen the next 5 pages (because I’m awesome), and let me tell you, it’s incredible.
Though the part about the cheez whiz and the yak was slightly disturb-oh wait I shouldnt spoil the startling twist in the story.
Kat: “Really? It’s been like a month.”
It’s been 35 minutes. Your watch must be hella slow.
“Jerk.”
…. toolfan? Is that you?
You know, naming yourself a female name and calling Bobby jerk won’t protect you from the Bobby-wrath when he lays a smackdown on you, you realize. Bobby is equal opportunity when it lambasting people who whine.
“Way to string us along.”
I feel your pain. Sorta. Ok actually I don’t.
Um… are you hot? I’m conflicted if you are, because you sound whiny and annoying, but if a girl is a hottie I tend to be willing to overlook it. I have some doubts as to your gender though as well.
Girls don’t tend to talk like that, cause… they’re like… smart and stuff. I think. Right?
Judas: “Seriously, don’t you have a life you can go live while you wait?”
No she doesn’t. This is all she’s got, man! Feel her pain!
“Or is this all you’ve got?”
Yep! Her computer doesn’t even get any other websites, and she’s been stabled in front of that computer and had her eyelids taped open. Feel…her…pain.
“Waiting for the next page to go up in some webcomic?”
Ok at least feel her up if you’re not gonna feel her pain, man.
May 20th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Oh my comments are typed with love as well. It’s just a bitter, angry, hateful love, but love none-the-less. And I guess I must just be more patient than others. The singular benefit to having grown up with my sister I guess. If one can learn the patience to deal with her… “uniqueness”… one can learn the patience to deal with anything. Even a webcomic that’s a month late.
http://midnightpodcast.com/forum/zombies/zombie-motivators/page-1/
Zombies for the masses.
May 20th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Dear God! Update already!!!!
May 20th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Wait a sec, haven’t we mocked this kid repeatedly for his bitchin’ about when this comic updates? Meh, I’ll leave it to someone else this time around.
May 21st, 2009 at 8:31 am
Judas: “It’s just a bitter, angry, hateful love, but love none-the-less.”
I just thought of a new type of Hallmark valentine’s card!
drakfeld: “Dear God! Update already!!!!”
Never!
Bobby does not comply with terrorist demands!
Judas: “Wait a sec, haven’t we mocked this kid repeatedly for his bitchin’ about when this comic updates?”
For some people, complaint posts are like Lays Potato Chips. No one can have just one.
Btw, I wonder why my last two posts are still awaiting moderation.
Comedy gold.
May 21st, 2009 at 10:07 am
Marzipan: I definitely agree. I’ve just been staying away from the necrophilia silliness because it’s too silly for me.
And I’ve heard on good authority that zombie rape is better than sparkly vampire rape.
It would probably hurt less too
May 21st, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Mandi: Ooh… the sparkles… they burn…
This one time I decided my best friend needed her own vibrator so we went to the G-Spot to buy one. The guy there was really nice and let us take them out and turn them on to decide if we like one, and we were really loving this glitzy sparkly one… until we turned it on and got a sparkle shower. And decided my best friend didn’t really want to be cleaning those things out of her vagoo for years.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:18 am
I am intrigued by this talk of sparkly vibrat-y things. Please do go on…
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:49 am
…
…
…
And I came along wanting to innocently ask when the next comic was due…
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:41 am
Marzipan: “Ooh… the sparkles… they burn…”
I was thinking more of the increased physical strength…but ok
“This one time I decided my best friend needed her own vibrator so we went to the G-Spot to buy one. The guy there was really nice and let us take them out and turn them on to decide if we like one, and we were really loving this glitzy sparkly one… until we turned it on and got a sparkle shower. And decided my best friend didn’t really want to be cleaning those things out of her vagoo for years.”
In the words of Demetri Martin, “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies…it never really goes away and every time the sun comes out…FLARE UP!!”
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:42 am
jmkool: And I came along wanting to innocently ask when the next comic was due…
yeah that dies quickly here
May 22nd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Innocence dies very quickly here.
But putting vibrators, glitter, and herpes into the same conversation is a pretty surefire way of killing the mood. Judas, we ended up buying her a very functional one– the tip twisted around for G-spot maximization. 
Man, I LOVE Demetri Martin and I almost never see his show.
May 23rd, 2009 at 12:27 am
“Innocence dies very quickly here.”
Yes, and I’m quite curious as to what the average age is of those reading this. *raises eyebrow*
May 23rd, 2009 at 9:39 am
jmkool: Yes, and I’m quite curious as to what the average age is of those reading this. *raises eyebrow*
I think that we have a range of 13 to about 32…I’m not sure totally of the max age here….Its the lowest that is the problem isn’t it.
Marzipan:Man, I LOVE Demetri Martin and I almost never see his show.
But putting vibrators, glitter, and herpes into the same conversation is a pretty surefire way of killing the mood. Judas, we ended up buying her a very functional one– the tip twisted around for G-spot maximization. 
He had a Comedy Central skit show but it is over for the season…I’m not too sure it’s going to come back.
Also, there was talk of vibrators and no Pander comment!?!
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:07 am
Average age? Meh, doesn’t matter. I could be a sixteen year old girl pretending to be a thirty year old man. But no one would believe that.
Y’know, once, several years ago, I was a residential and small commercial window washer. I had a job once, in a fair sized residential home; a married couple with three young kids. That was the normal part. While I was cleaning the windows in the living room I happened to be right over the movie stand. Being a vaguely curious person, I looked at some of the titles. I admit to being quite surprised to see the hardcore porn right in there with the kids movies and everything else. I mean, I generally tend to keep stuff like that, y’know, AWAY from my daughter’s movies, cause I don’t want to answer some questions yet.
But the surprises didn’t end there. When I ventured upstairs to wash the windows in the master bedroom, I found I had to step over the bed to get to them. So I did. And stepped straight onto the squishy red gel vibe that had been left on the floor. Now, already having seen where they keep the adult movies, I was less surprised than I might otherwise have been. I was not happy however, when the damn thing stuck to my shoe. So I looked for a place to kick it, after I shook it off. I figured around the head of the bed couldn’t go wrong. Yeah, about that. My wife keeps all her fun things in a box or drawer. These people? not so much. Couple pairs of handcuffs, some leather, multiple feet or rope, more pleasure toys, and so on.
Right. I figure that’s it. What else could there be? Then I turned around and looked at the window. This window was on the second floor in a fairly nice suburban neighborhood. Facing a couple other houses, with windows in such places, that looking into this window I was standing in front of wouldn’t be overly hard. In fact, it’d be damn easy. As I pulled out my wash bar, I saw one last thing. At roughly waist height, all along this window, there were all kinds of white-ish stains. I’m sure you can figure out what that meant.
Now, why am I telling this story? Well, it came up a few days ago while swapping crappy job stories with some people I know. But then I got to thinking, with some of the people around here, and things what have been said and I wondered…
Pander, was I in YOUR house?
May 23rd, 2009 at 5:46 pm
so when should we epect the next update
May 23rd, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Probably sometime between now and the 2nd coming would be a good guess matthew…. That or the end of the universe. Take your pick.
On a side note we need 153 more posts to reach 500. Come on fans you know we can do before an update.
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Judas, that was a VERY good deduction. Except it would involve Pander having a wife!
So you have a daughter? How old? (The curiosity of a Marzipan can never be sated.)
That’s an awesome idea though. The kids are bored and see a new movie to watch, with a really cool name… La Blue Girl. They’ll never be the same.
Mandi: I really hope Important Things comes back. I liked it a lot more than I thought it would. But between Judas and Pander, I don’t think our max (chronological) age is 32. Max mental age, I’d give a 22. Guess how old I am?
May 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Judas: “I am intrigued by this talk of sparkly vibrat-y things.”
Who isn’t?
jmkool: “And I came along wanting to innocently ask when the next comic was due…”
And who’s fault is it that you’re naive about what really goes on in webcomic forums? Hm?
Mandi: “In the words of Demetri Martin, “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies…”
You just made my childhood arts and craft projects feel so dirty now.
“Innocence dies very quickly here.”
Thank you. Actually I prefer for it to go through a long agonizing torture first, but it’s so fragile.
jmkool: “Yes, and I’m quite curious as to what the average age is of those reading this.”
Usualy an extremely mature 13 or an extremely immature 28.
Mandi: “Also, there was talk of vibrators and no Pander comment!?!”
Sorry. Due to all the talk of vibrators and vagoo and G-spots, both of my hands were busy so I couldn’t comment right away.
Judas: “I admit to being quite surprised to see the hardcore porn right in there with the kids movies and everything else.”
Ah yes. Debbie does Barney. Good times.
They both love, after all.
“My wife keeps all her fun things in a box or drawer.”
Go on….
“Couple pairs of handcuffs, some leather, multiple feet or rope, more pleasure toys, and so on.”
Which reminds me I need to go shopping.
“Pander, was I in YOUR house?”
The white stains were only waist high right? Mine have a lot more height to them.
matthew: “so when should we epect the next update”
I’ll answer this question, people.
Matthew?
Yes.
Marzipan: “Judas, that was a VERY good deduction. Except it would involve Pander having a wife!”
When everyone know I instead have a harem of hot babes.
“So you have a daughter? How old?”
Is she as mature as Tirinka?
“(The curiosity of a Marzipan can never be sated.)”
Unlike other things about Marzipan.
“The kids are bored and see a new movie to watch, with a really cool name… La Blue Girl.”
Yeah, the kids will probably expect every pizza delivery boy, pool cleaner, and police officer to start removing their clothes when they come to the door in real life.
May 24th, 2009 at 3:07 am
@Jon Panda. Thanks to the above post the last quivering vestiges of my innocence has now been fully erradicated. Are you happy now, does this give you a warm glow…….it should I was laughing my ass of the whole time.
May 24th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Marzipan: “I really hope Important Things comes back. I liked it a lot more than I thought it would. But between Judas and Pander, I don’t think our max (chronological) age is 32. Max mental age, I’d give a 22. Guess how old I am?
”
I have no talent with guessing ages when I can actually see the people…no way am I guessing on here
“That’s an awesome idea though. The kids are bored and see a new movie to watch, with a really cool name… La Blue Girl. They’ll never be the same.”
The destruction of children’s brains should be left to those asshole teachers they have by 5th grade that tell them there is no Santa or Easter Bunny.
Pander: “Sorry. Due to all the talk of vibrators and vagoo and G-spots, both of my hands were busy so I couldn’t comment right away.”
Way more than I needed to know thanks.
“Yeah, the kids will probably expect every pizza delivery boy, pool cleaner, and police officer to start removing their clothes when they come to the door in real life.”
Hmmm…don’t these movies usually have child inappropriate covers on them!?!
May 24th, 2009 at 11:53 am
My god when will there be another update?
May 24th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
kailuun: “Thanks to the above post the last quivering vestiges of my innocence has now been fully erradicated.”
Okay, 1) are you female.
If so, then 2) You might say I’ve deflowered you via the internet.
If not, then 3) My bad.
“Are you happy now,”
Quite.
“does this give you a warm glow…….”
Sure nuff.
“it should I was laughing my ass of the whole time.”
I’m here every Tuesday and Thursday. Try the veal.
Mandi: “The destruction of children’s brains should be left to those asshole teachers they have by 5th grade that tell them there is no Santa or Easter Bunny.”
Yknow, as a jewish person, I know why Hannukah never caught on as much as Christmas or Easter. It’s because we have not mastered the art of creating wood-animation holiday shows.
All the tin soldiers — melt them down
Wash the face of every clown
Each bouncing ball — deflate it
No, I don’t want to debate it!
The ballerinas who pirouette
Arrest their musical toes
Outlaw the dolls and sink the boats
They bring me only woes!
It’s a difficult responsibility
That you accept from the Number 1 lawmaker, me
Have it known throughout the land from sea to sea
There’ll be no more toy makers to the King!
“Way more than I needed to know thanks.”
It would have been rude for me to not respond, my dear.
“Hmmm…don’t these movies usually have child inappropriate covers on them!?!”
*shrug*
zane: “My god when will there be another update?”
1) Same answer as to Matthew. Yes.
2) Your ‘God’ can not help you now. Muhahahahaha
May 24th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Matthew & Zane: Seriously, is that all you’ve got? Whining about updates? go away until you can meaningfully or at least entertainingly contribute to the conversation. Updates show when they show. Not before. And if this artist is like others, he’ll delay the update just to be spiteful since you can’t be patient like the rest of us.
Marzipan: She’s six, soon to be seven. And funny you should mention La Blue Girl. that lead to a long and amusing conversation. I walked in the door after a long day at work, and the first thing that my wife and her sister said was, “Why does it glow?” It took me a moment to realize the box with all the anime was spread out all over the floor. Ah, good times.
Pander: Honestly, after all else, I didn’t check for stains above the window. And having a harem doesn’t automatically mean not having a wife. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Man never lacked for variety. Though I note you did not deny kids.
Mandi: Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…
As far as inappropriate covers, that’s usually what makes small boys want to watch them. haven’t you noticed almost all men have this thing about women’s bodies and what things you can put where, and if you have a little creativity, how far you can take that philosophy?
May 25th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Judas says: “Zombie rape, the new necrophilia. Somehow more appropriate on Last Blood. Oh well.”
Dang, I talk over there, I’m told to go here. I talk here, I’m told to go there.
Marzipan says: “Showers are so annoying. After you get out it starts evaporating so I get cold, and I’m all damp, and then the wet hair starts ruining the mood…”
Brigitte Bako’s post-bath scene in the Red Shoe Diaries movie is now springing to my mind…
drakfeld says: “Dear God! Update already!!!!”
Don’t say that! The last time God updated, we lost bikini supermodel doctors, and got Paris Hilton.
Marzipan again: “This one time I decided my best friend needed her own vibrator so we went to the G-Spot to buy one. The guy there was really nice and let us take them out and turn them on to decide if we like one, and we were really loving this glitzy sparkly one… until we turned it on and got a sparkle shower. And decided my best friend didn’t really want to be cleaning those things out of her vagoo for years.”
1) They named a store after the Grafenberg Spot?
2) The Questionable Content’s comic #1379 is springing to mind.
Jon Pander says: “Yknow, as a jewish person, I know why Hannukah never caught on as much as Christmas or Easter. It’s because we have not mastered the art of creating wood-animation holiday shows.”
Not only a lawyer, but a Jewish lawyer? Ugh, stereotype. Pander, part of why Hannukah isn’t super-appreciated is the Maccabeean uprising isn’t part of the Christian canon, but is seen as deuterocanonical. It’s hard to believe they’re not canonical while the Song of Solomon is, and Jews were forbidden to read that until they were 30. Also, the Hasmoneans were usurped by the Herodians who made a deal with the Romans for control of Judea. On top of that, the dreidel could’ve been a nice cartoon, but Adam Sandler took too long in coming up with his Hannukah song.
May 25th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
wow, the comments are just about as interesting as the comic. if i had known what i was missing out on…
May 25th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Judas: “Pander: Honestly, after all else, I didn’t check for stains above the window.”
Adrian Monk, you are not.
“Though I note you did not deny kids.”
I decline to say anything until the paternity test is finalized.
“Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…”
Technically, as a harem girl, she needs to start making sure my hands don’t HAVE to be busy.
Bill M.: “Dang, I talk over there, I’m told to go here. I talk here, I’m told to go there.”
Now go to Dreamless.
“The last time God updated, we lost bikini supermodel doctors, and got Paris Hilton.”
And that’s when I decided to take over the job. Enough was enough.
“1) They named a store after the Grafenberg Spot?”
Don’t kill him, people. He’s a virgin. He don’t know any better.
“Not only a lawyer, but a Jewish lawyer? Ugh, stereotype.”
But true.
And my brother is a doctor.
My mom is a very happy jewish mother, as a result.
“Pander, part of why Hannukah isn’t super-appreciated is the Maccabeean uprising isn’t part of the Christian canon, but is seen as deuterocanonical.”
No. It’s the wooden animated figure problem. Trust me.
“It’s hard to believe they’re not canonical while the Song of Solomon is, and Jews were forbidden to read that until they were 30.”
We’d even be happy with a halfway decent claymation holiday special, but nooooo…..
“Also, the Hasmoneans were usurped by the Herodians who made a deal with the Romans for control of Judea.”
I mean… the closest we’ve ever gotten was ‘Eight Crazy Nights’. But that’s just standard animation, not wooden or claymation animation.
“If that, the dreidel could’ve been a nice cartoon,”
If ZZTop was jewish, they’d probably be called Taf Taf Dreidel. They sorta look like rabbis already, at least 2 of them.
“but Adam Sandler took too long in coming up with his Hannukah song.”
Not to mention his cartoon.
Abby: “wow, the comments are just about as interesting as the comic.”
We update the comments quickly.
“if i had known what i was missing out on…”
you’d have participated in the shower orgy discussion far sooner?
May 26th, 2009 at 12:53 am
This is like my 200th time reading just this page and I STILL bust up into hysterics!
May 26th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Pander: “Sorry. Due to all the talk of vibrators and vagoo and G-spots, both of my hands were busy so I couldn’t comment right away.”
Well that was something we needed to know. Ewwwwww.
“’(The curiosity of a Marzipan can never be sated.)’
Unlike other things about Marzipan.”
So not true. Ask Mandi.
“Yeah, the kids will probably expect every pizza delivery boy, pool cleaner, and police officer to start removing their clothes when they come to the door in real life.”
Which could make their arrest record reeeeally interesting.
Haha, per kailuun you’re now a Panda.
“If not, then 3) My bad.”
If not then you just deflowered a guy via the internet? Now that amuses. I’ll just leave you boys alone now…
Judas: “It took me a moment to realize the box with all the anime was spread out all over the floor.”
Hahahahahahaha… nice.
Bill: “Don’t say that! The last time God updated, we lost bikini supermodel doctors, and got Paris Hilton.”
And that’s why I’m agnostic.
“They named a store after the Grafenberg Spot?”
We had a store named the G-spot. Had.
“The Questionable Content’s comic #1379 is springing to mind.”
Between this and the Red Shoe Diaries movie, I really need to know more about everything. What?
“Not only a lawyer, but a Jewish lawyer? Ugh, stereotype.”
Hey, I’m a white female social worker. I hate fulfilling stereotypes as much as the next idiot, but sometimes they’re stereotypes because they’re just really appropriate. *shrug* I’ll still have more respect for a gangsta lawyer or a dude social worker.
“On top of that, the dreidel could’ve been a nice cartoon, but Adam Sandler took too long in coming up with his Hannukah song.”
That was the only part of that whole thing I understood. Agnosticism strikes again.
Pander: “My mom is a very happy jewish mother, as a result.”
You do realize the trend of the new generation is to make parents UNhappy, right?
Crap, I graduated college. I made my parents happy.
We’re both generational failures, Panda.
May 26th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Pander: “It would have been rude for me to not respond, my dear.”
I could have delt with it.
Judas: “Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…”
Newbie…so not so much
“As far as inappropriate covers, that’s usually what makes small boys want to watch them. haven’t you noticed almost all men have this thing about women’s bodies and what things you can put where, and if you have a little creativity, how far you can take that philosophy?”
This is true…also boys are about twice as likely to play with themselves while getting diaper changes then girls are.
May 26th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Mandi: “”I could have dealt with it.”
You still can.
“Newbie…so not so much”
Don’t underestimate yourself. You gotta start your harem girl training some time. Might as well be now, live for the moment!
“This is true…also boys are about twice as likely to play with themselves while getting diaper changes then girls are.”
We’re fast learners.
May 26th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I spin round round round!
May 26th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Jon Pander says: “Now go to Dreamless.”
I’ve searched there, Crow Scare, +EV, Sorethumbs, Superosity, and Wickedpowered, couldn’t find forums there anywhere.
“Don’t kill him, people. He’s a virgin. He don’t know any better.”
Seriously, you’re that into sex and you have no knowledge of the Grafenberg Spot? The spot that the Jewish German doctor Ernst Grafenberg found debunking Freud’s theory that all female orgasms were clitoral? Also, it amazed me that it was named that. Do you see any sex stores called The Vulva, the Labia, or The Quim? I could see The Grotto, the Southern Tulips, or The Gates to the Garden, but something seems off when you name stores after obvious body parts, especially the sexual ones.
Marzipan says: “Between this and the Red Shoe Diaries movie, I really need to know more about everything. What?
”
We all need to know more about everything… and the Red Shoe Diaries movie was originally called Wild Orchid 3: Red Shoe Diaries. It stars David Duchovny (X-Files & Californication), Brigitte Bako (Dark Tide), and Billy Wirth (stuntman & contestant on the original season of American Gladiators).
Judas says: “Funny, as a harem girl, I thought you’d want to know a lot more about what occupied Pander’s hands…”
Actually, I thought harem girls were supposed to provide what occupied the hands, but having no experience with them, I could be mistaken…
Myself says: “I spin round round round!”
Um… like a record, right round?
May 27th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I found this and thought you all would enjoy it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Vibration-is-life.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibrator_(sex_toy)#Types_of_erotic_vibrators
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dream_of_the_fishermans_wife_hokusai.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fantasy#Common_fantasies
Gotta live the Wikipedia!!
May 27th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Bill M.: “Seriously, you’re that into sex and you have no knowledge of the Grafenberg Spot?”
I have enough knowledge that I know it’s distinctly not sexy if you call it the Grafenberg Spot.
“The spot that the Jewish German doctor Ernst Grafenberg found debunking Freud’s theory that all female orgasms were clitoral?”
Yes I know. You’re making it less sexy by explaining it.
Virgin mistake.
“The Vulva, the Labia, or The Quim?”
I saw a Seinfeld episode involving the vulva.
Mulva!
“I could see The Grotto, the Southern Tulips, or The Gates to the Garden, but something seems off when you name stores after obvious body parts, especially the sexual ones.”
No, it’s when you name them after the scientific nomenclature for the obvious body parts that it seems off, because it’s less sensual.
Again – Virgin mistake
“Actually, I thought harem girls were supposed to provide what occupied the hands, but having no experience with them, I could be mistaken…”
No, no you’re right as well on this. They’re supposed to occupy my hands, while at the same time doing what my hands would otherwise be doing.
Pesky: “This is like my 200th time reading just this page and I STILL bust up into hysterics!”
Wait until you’ve read it for the 2000th’ time
Absolute hilarity.
Marzipan: “Well that was something we needed to know. Ewwwwww. ”
I find it important to offer full disclosure.
“Which could make their arrest record reeeeally interesting.”
Though if all they watch is pornos, they will probably have a very different concept of what it’s like to be in jail.
“Haha, per kailuun you’re now a Panda.”
Who what in the what now?
“If not then you just deflowered a guy via the internet?”
Stop trying to make me gay. This is not ‘Sex in the City.’
“And that’s why I’m agnostic.”
Ahem? Church of Pander. Where bikini supermodel doctors still roam free.
“We had a store named the G-spot. Had.”
And it wasn’t called the Grafenberg spot because G-spot is sexy. Grafenberg spot is not.
“I’ll still have more respect for a gangsta lawyer or a dude social worker.”
I’m a very gangsta lawyer.
“That was the only part of that whole thing I understood. Agnosticism strikes again.”
Dredels are toy tops which apparently my religion decided is the toy which all jewish kiddies must play with on Hannukah.
I think they need to update it to a Playstation 3 or an Xbox 360 or a Wii.
Update the song too. Instead of:
Dreidel Dredel Dredel
I made it out of clay
And when it’s dry and ready
A dredeil I shall play
Make it:
Xbox 360,
I bought it at the store.
And when I’m done with one game
I’ll buy a hundred more
“You do realize the trend of the new generation is to make parents UNhappy, right?”
I prefer having money. Anotther jewish stereotype fulfilled.
“We’re both generational failures, Panda.”
This generation sucks anyway. Glad to be rebelling from it.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Pander: I never officially joined the Church of Pander. I just bounce from group to group. Nobody objects.
I didn’t understand the REST of that paragraph.
“Dredels are toy tops which apparently my religion decided is the toy which all jewish kiddies must play with on Hannukah.”
I know what dreidels are. South Park, duh.
“No, it’s when you name them after the scientific nomenclature for the obvious body parts that it seems off, because it’s less sensual.”
*jumps Bill*
It can be plenty sensual… if smart guys turn you on. Bill’s obviously going for nerd sex, and more power to him.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Ah the Jewish lawyer, left behind in preference for the nerdy smart guy. Score: Pander/Fail, Bill/Win.
And then I laughed.
May 27th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Marzipan: “I never officially joined the Church of Pander. I just bounce from group to group. Nobody objects.”
A part time girl in a shower orgy is better than no shower orgy girl at all.
“I know what dreidels are. South Park, duh.”
Yes, the show has been a boon to the state of education and religious knowledge, I admit.
“I didn’t understand the REST of that paragraph.”
I mean that they should update the requirement of playing with a wooden top with the requirement of playing with a video game system. I then compared the old song which is traditionally sung while playing with the dreidel with the new song that I have proposed when playing with the Xbox 360.
“It can be plenty sensual… if smart guys turn you on.”
You get hot from Stephen Hawkings, don’tcha.
“Bill’s obviously going for nerd sex, and more power to him. *jumps Bill*”
Maybe Bill M is actually Bill N.
Bill Nye.
But you know, usually the smart guys get the hot girls when the smarts have also gained money. Revenge of the Nerds is a lie.
Judas: “Ah the Jewish lawyer, left behind in preference for the nerdy smart guy.”
1) Meh I’m a smart guy who’s not a nerd. With money. Go figure.
2) Anyone on the internet can be smart thanks to Wikipedia.
“And then I laughed.”
Confuscious say, “When having safe computer sex, wear keyboard cover.”
May 28th, 2009 at 2:42 am
I make it a general rule never to use the computer of someone who has a keyboard cover. Though utilitarian in principle, I believe they are ever only used for one purpose, and I just don’t need that crap on my hands.
A smart guy, but not a nerd, with money, and you still have to trawl the internet looking for women? Hrm. I’d comment, but I think pointing it out is enough.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Pander: “Dredels are toy tops which apparently my religion decided is the toy which all jewish kiddies must play with on Hannukah.”
at least you get chocolate coins out of it
“I think they need to update it to a Playstation 3 or an Xbox 360 or a Wii.”
Probably…
“Update the song too. Instead of:
Dreidel Dredel Dredel
I made it out of clay
And when it’s dry and ready
A dredeil I shall play”
Have you ever seen a clay dreidel?? Because I haven’t…I do actually have a hot pink plastic one though…I got it in like 4th grade
“Make it:
Xbox 360,
I bought it at the store.
And when I’m done with one game
I’ll buy a hundred more”
More accurate for kids now.
“1) Meh I’m a smart guy who’s not a nerd. With money. Go figure.
2) Anyone on the internet can be smart thanks to Wikipedia.”
Wikipedia is the awesome…as was stated earlier…also I’m surprised that post got on here.
May 28th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
I are too smart…
The people didn’t understand why I say:
“I spin round round round!”
O_O -> Nº
May 28th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Hey, I’d jump Bill Nye, too.
Except according to the Simpsons he’s Jewish, and thanks to Pander Jews are a turnoff.
And Revenge of the Nerds is NOT a lie, I have a nerd who proved them right– before he got a girl he spent all his time thinking of ways to please her.
May 28th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Mandi: “at least you get chocolate coins out of it”
Rather have the real coins.
Then they could buy a PS3/Xbox360/Wii.
“Have you ever seen a clay dreidel?? Because I haven’t”
Apparently before they were made of wood and plastic, they were made of clay.
“I do actually have a hot pink plastic one though…I got it in like 4th grade”
Hot pink. The most religious of all the colors.
“More accurate for kids now.”
I am nothing if not forward thinking.
“Wikipedia is the awesome…as was stated earlier…also I’m surprised that post got on here.”
Which post?
Marzipan: “Hey, I’d jump Bill Nye, too.”
How about Beakman? Would you jump Beakman?
“Except according to the Simpsons he’s Jewish, and thanks to Pander Jews are a turnoff. ”
1) You’re going to make me invoke Godwin’s Law again, arent you.
2) Ok so you wouldn’t jump Beakman then.
3) How about Lester the Rat. He’s not jewish. Guy in a rat suit turn ya on?
Row-squeak?
“And Revenge of the Nerds is NOT a lie, I have a nerd who proved them right– before he got a girl he spent all his time thinking of ways to please her.”
Better way for a nerd to get a hot girl is to invent something and make lots of money.
Or become famous. Fame trumps nerdiness.
May 29th, 2009 at 8:58 am
Pander:Which post?
This one
# Mandi Says:
May 27th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I found this and thought you all would enjoy it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Vibration-is-life.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibrator_(sex_toy)#Types_of_erotic_vibrators
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dream_of_the_fishermans_wife_hokusai.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fantasy#Common_fantasies
Gotta live the Wikipedia!!
May 29th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I just discovered two very different things are happening in Pittsburgh this summer…
1. The G20 Summit…politicians and the president
2. The Furry Convention…WTF!?!
May 29th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Mandi: “1. The G20 Summit…politicians and the president
2. The Furry Convention”
There’s some hidden connection between the two.
Obama is a furry, obviously.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:33 am
Hey Bobby
Question…
Has this comic been pushed aside for the development of the Dreamless storyline?
May 30th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I know I’m not up on everything that happens in this forum but I gotta say this is fairly hilarious. Hilarious indeed. I just wish there was an occasional update of story to go with the witty banter y’all are so fond of.
Whateves
May 30th, 2009 at 11:14 am
“Has this comic been pushed aside for the development of the Dreamless storyline?”
Never. I’m simply lazy. Keep in mind that I didn’t write a single graphic novel page for six months late last year.
May 31st, 2009 at 12:13 am
Jessi: “Has this comic been pushed aside for the development of the Dreamless storyline?”
It’s been pushed aside because of Bobby’s Ninja training. I thought I made this clear.
kate: “I know I’m not up on everything that happens in this forum but I gotta say this is fairly hilarious.”
This brings forth a few questions.
1) Are you hot?
2) If so, would you like to join the Church of Pander?
3) Wear this T-shirt (goes to get the hose and the videocam)
“I just wish there was an occasional update of story to go with the witty banter y’all are so fond of. ”
Respect Bobby’s ninja training.
It cuts into storytime, but he’ll learn 93 ways to kill a man with his pinky. A fair trade.
Bobby: “Never. I’m simply lazy.”
Keeping the ‘ninja’ thing under wraps, huh.
“Keep in mind that I didn’t write a single graphic novel page for six months late last year.”
Wasn’t paying attention to that. I’m far too self-involved.
May 31st, 2009 at 8:05 am
Pander: “There’s some hidden connection between the two.
Obama is a furry, obviously.”
Hmmm…I ‘m pretty sure there is a large amount of time between the two.
“Respect Bobby’s ninja training.
It cuts into storytime, but he’ll learn 93 ways to kill a man with his pinky. A fair trade.”
That’s Mossad not ninja…but he can learn how to slice someone’s head off without leaving obvious evidence.
June 1st, 2009 at 5:50 am
Mandi: “Hmmm…I ‘m pretty sure there is a large amount of time between the two.”
He has a stunt double for the presidential gig, while he goes to his first priority, the furry convention.
“That’s Mossad not ninja…”
The Mossad is very open to allowing ninja into their fold, actually.
There are plenty of jewish ninja, in fact.
The problem is you don’t realize there are two types of jewish divisions.
The first is ashkenasi. Those are the jews you’re probably more familiar with. They are the ‘I can do your taxes,’ ‘I’m good at making a situation comedy,’ ‘I get good grades in school’ jews. And occasionally, in my case, they’re also obsessed with wet t-shirt contests and shower orgies.
The second is safardic jews. They are the ‘watch my machine gun while I take a leak’ jews. They’re the kung fu, chuck norris jews.
btw, I can say this because, in the words of Jackie Mason, it’s funny because I’m jewish, so I can say this. If I was not jewish…. not funny so much.
“but he can learn how to slice someone’s head off without leaving obvious evidence.”
That too.
June 1st, 2009 at 10:09 am
Jon Pander says: “I saw a Seinfeld episode involving the vulva. Mulva!”
I never watched that episode, but when that lawsuit came about when a boss was discussing the episode with some female employee, I figured the name in question was going to be Regina or Delores. Regina was fresh on my mind from watching the second Moriarty episode of ST:TNG.
Marzipan says: “It can be plenty sensual… if smart guys turn you on. Bill’s obviously going for nerd sex, and more power to him.
*jumps Bill*”
Ah… seduced by the size of my medulla oblongota. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go casserole someone…
… yes, casserole. Not in the Hannibal way, in the innuendo way. Ugh, look casserole means to do slowly for several hours…
Jon Pander again: “The second is safardic jews. They are the ‘watch my machine gun while I take a leak’ jews. They’re the kung fu, chuck norris jews.”
Ah, yes, the Jew Jitsu masters.
June 1st, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Pander:”The Mossad is very open to allowing ninja into their fold, actually.”
I imagine they would enjoy that what with their wicked killing skills.
“There are plenty of jewish ninja, in fact.”
That’s an image.
http://www.humourjuif.com/images/images/jewish_ninja.jpg
“The problem is you don’t realize there are two types of jewish divisions.
The first is ashkenasi. Those are the jews you’re probably more familiar with. They are the ‘I can do your taxes,’ ‘I’m good at making a situation comedy,’ ‘I get good grades in school’ jews. And occasionally, in my case, they’re also obsessed with wet t-shirt contests and shower orgies.”
Otherwise known as the creepers.
“The second is safardic jews. They are the ‘watch my machine gun while I take a leak’ jews. They’re the kung fu, chuck norris jews.”
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin…he has a third fist covered with beard.
“btw, I can say this because, in the words of Jackie Mason, it’s funny because I’m jewish, so I can say this. If I was not jewish…. not funny so much.”
Unless there are no jewish people around when you say it…just like all racist jokes.
Lol I spelled racist wrong and rapist came up as a spelling suggestion.
June 1st, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Wait wait wait….she’s NOT Sailor Moon? CRAP! I have been reading this comic since day one and NOW you hit me with this?! I’ve been completely wasting my time! Thanks for nothing! I THOUGHT you were doing a particularly poor job of drawing her!
June 1st, 2009 at 7:35 pm
ok just asking! I would hat to see either comic stop
June 2nd, 2009 at 12:31 am
Bill M.: “I never watched that episode,”
A Seinfeld virgin too?
“Ah, yes, the Jew Jitsu masters.”
What would Homer be if he converted to Judaism, and learned martial arts?
a Jew-d’oh! Master
What was the name of the famous jewish gunslinger?
Billy the Yid
What was the name of the famous jewish barbarian?
Cohen the barbarian
What’s the name of the best known jewish rap group?
Two live jews.
wokka wokka wokka
Mandi: “I imagine they would enjoy that what with their wicked killing skills.”
The mossad has a name for ninja. Amateurs.
“Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin…he has a third fist covered with beard.”
Chuck Norris doesn’t play God.
Playing is for children.
While we’re at it….
Only God knows everything…. and he works for Mossad.
He plays pinball on Tuesdays with Zohan.
“Lol I spelled racist wrong and rapist came up as a spelling suggestion.”
So are you saying all racists are rapists?
Wraith: “Wait wait wait….she’s NOT Sailor Moon?”
You havent seen the twist ending. She’s Sailor Mercury actually.
June 2nd, 2009 at 7:46 am
Pander: “The mossad has a name for ninja. Amateurs.”
And now we’re done with that.
“Chuck Norris doesn’t play God.
Playing is for children.”
He also doesn’t sing little bunny Foofoo…referencing an earlier comment haha
June 2nd, 2009 at 9:54 am
Bill: “Ugh, look casserole means to do slowly for several hours…”
Yeah, even I think that casserole is a pretty unfortunate verb to use.
“Ah, yes, the Jew Jitsu masters.”
Don’t forget about Jewdo (per Christopher Moore.)
Dammit, Pander went there. Stop ruining my jokes!
Wraith: Lol.
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Jon Pander says: “A Seinfeld virgin too?”
Nah, just haven’t seen every episode. When a show’s about nothing, what’s the point in watching it all the time?
“What was the name of the famous jewish gunslinger?
Billy the Yid”
I was thinking of Irving, the 142nd fastest gun in the West.
141 could draw faster than he, but he was looking for #143.
He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread,
With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head.
He always followed his mother’s wishes,
Even on the range he used two sets of dishes.
“What’s the name of the best known jewish rap group?
Two live jews.”
Ahh… I’ve heard of them…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Live_Jews
Marzipan says: “Yeah, even I think that casserole is a pretty unfortunate verb to use.”
Well, I’d just heard some gal talk about how she wanted Pierce Brosnan (or some other suave actor) to casserole her, friends thought she meant caress, but she went to the dictionary and explained her meaning. I added more, due to Pander & my discussing “Silence of the Lambs” several comments earlier.
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:31 am
Mandi: “He also doesn’t sing little bunny Foofoo…referencing an earlier comment haha”
He did that because he likes his victims to have a smile on their face remembering him doing that before they die.
Marzipan: “Dammit, Pander went there. Stop ruining my jokes!”
I didn’t ruin them. It’s still funny even when you said it, because I said it first.
Bill M.: “When a show’s about nothing, what’s the point in watching it all the time?”
The forum chat we’re having is about nothing, yet you are an active participant in that as well.
“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Live_Jews”
I made them exist with the power of my mind, apparently.
‘Oy it’s so humid’ and ‘As Kosher as We Wanna Be’ are two of their songs, apparently.
“I added more, due to Pander & my discussing “Silence of the Lambs†several comments earlier.”
Jon Pander – making others add funny trivia since 2008.
June 3rd, 2009 at 8:06 am
“Jon Pander – making others add funny trivia since 2008.”
I’m sure it’s been longer than that…and only a few more posts until we reach 400!!
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Mandi: “I’m sure it’s been longer than that…and only a few more posts until we reach 400!!”
Before that was mostly gaining street cred. I wasn’t the phenom I am now.
June 4th, 2009 at 8:35 am
Joe Pander:
“Are You Hot?”
Hell yes I’m fricken gorgeous. I’m six feet at tall all tits, ass and legs, do you read Menage a 3? Think Didi with curly brown hair…and I’m not lying.
“Would you like to join the church of Pander”
No thanks, I don’t believe in organized religion or God, any God…not even you, pander.
Enjoy your video camera, I’ll be far away laughing and hiding, if you can find me then you get a reward.
June 4th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Bill M.: Well, I’d just heard some gal talk about how she wanted Pierce Brosnan (or some other suave actor) to casserole her, friends thought she meant caress, but she went to the dictionary and explained her meaning. I added more, due to Pander & my discussing “Silence of the Lambs†several comments earlier.
I’m pretty sure that using a type of food as a sexual innuendo doesn’t really work unless the food is involved…
June 4th, 2009 at 10:12 am
KAte: Can I be Zii to your Didi?
June 4th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Depends really, I can’t speak french and I can’t cook and I’m pretty sure I’m not bisexual lol.
June 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
kate: “I’m six feet at tall all tits, ass and legs,”
1) You qualify. Put on this T-shirt. *gets the hose*
2) Everything a woman needs. Me likey.
“do you read Menage a 3?”
Couple of times in college, but luckily it was the 2 babes one guy thi- oh wait… read?
“Think Didi with curly brown hair…and I’m not lying.”
Thank god you told me the Menage a 3 reference or I’d have been thinking of Dexter’s Laboratory, who’s all legs (not in a good way unfortunately) and lacks the other two vital aspects.
“I don’t believe in organized religion”
Don’t worry, we’re far from organized.
Put on the T-shirt.
“or God, any God…not even you, pander.”
I can promise you’d have a religious epiphany after a night with me.
“Enjoy your video camera, I’ll be far away laughing and hiding, if you can find me then you get a reward.”
I’ll send the squad out. Be right there.
kate: “Depends really, I can’t speak french and I can’t cook and I’m pretty sure I’m not bisexual”
But otherwise exactly like Didi. I need to have an actual hands-on experience to confirm though. Get in the shower.
June 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Hrm, almost at 400. 600 more and we’ll have another record.
June 4th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd 400.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:27 am
Only 400? After the comic hasn’t been updated for so long? I’m surprised Pander. You must be getting slow.
June 5th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Ellie: Only 400? After the comic hasn’t been updated for so long? I’m surprised Pander. You must be getting slow.
We’re just moving slowly because of last time we almost got to 1000 and Bobby put up a new page…It doesn’t count if there is a new page before you hit 1000.
Pander: Couple of times in college, but luckily it was the 2 babes one guy thi- oh wait… read?
Yeah I expected that when I read the Menage a 3 comment.
June 5th, 2009 at 8:03 am
Also why is there no church of pander website…I imagine that you could at least make a geocities one
June 5th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
One would think you’d want to post faster then. The quicker you approach 1000, theoretically the faster the comic gets updated.
Good to see you again Ellie.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Aw man. Don’t leave us hangin’!
Would like to see moar of this comic!
June 5th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Pander:
“[everything you said in your previous post that I'm too lazy to look at and retype]”
I’ll put on your t-shirt, fine, but I can’t promise to like it until I know what it says. And as for the hose…bring it!
Religious experience you say? I’ve had many a religious experience after a long sweaty night…what makes you think you can change my world?
My shower’s a little small for two, my bathroom as well, but I guess we could squeeze or something. Sorry I don’t have a Canadian beaver on my…Michigan beaver…you’ll have to make due, I don’t deal well with whiners.
June 5th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Ellie: “Only 400? After the comic hasn’t been updated for so long? I’m surprised Pander. You must be getting slow.”
I’ve been busy with making money and stuff. Sorry.
Plus I think the last time we almost reached 1000 and fell just short has taken the wind out of our sails a bit.
Mandi: “Yeah I expected that when I read the Menage a 3 comment.”
I’ve been looking for an excuse to brag about it, also.
“Also why is there no church of pander website…”
1) Don’t know how.
2) It would probably be adrift among the millions of websites on the internet involving shower orgies and hot babes in wet t-shirts anyway.
Judas: “One would think you’d want to post faster then. The quicker you approach 1000, theoretically the faster the comic gets updated.”
Wasn’t it around this point during the 1000 post quest that you asked when Godwin’s law would be invoked btw?
kate: “I’ll put on your t-shirt, fine, but I can’t promise to like it until I know what it says. And as for the hose…bring it!”
It says nothing. Just a white T-shirt. Perfect for …..
*sploooosh*
“Religious experience you say?”
Amen.
“I’ve had many a religious experience after a long sweaty night…what makes you think you can change my world?”
I suppose I’ll have to show you in order to convince you.
“My shower’s a little small for two, my bathroom as well,”
I have a huge one.
Oh, the shower’s big too.
“but I guess we could squeeze or something.”
I like this girl.
“Sorry I don’t have a Canadian beaver on my…Michigan beaver…you’ll have to make due, I don’t deal well with whiners.”
One sec, setting up the video cam.
June 5th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Actually I think it was around 600 odd. I have no desire to check and corroborate though. I don’t have that kind of care in me.
June 5th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Kate: “Depends really, I can’t speak french and I can’t cook and I’m pretty sure I’m not bisexual lol.”
Well, up until recently Didi didn’t know she was either…
And I can live with the not speaking French, everyone (who lives so close to Mexico) knows that Spanish is the language of love.
Can’t cook though… that might be a dealbreaker. How else will we get to the kitchen orgies??
Ellie: “Only 400? After the comic hasn’t been updated for so long? I’m surprised Pander. You must be getting slow.”
Few new people and no spider monkey to push the forum rating from PG-13 to R. 
And Pander won’t believe this, but there is just so much talking about Pander we can do before we run out of things to talk about!
Believe it or not, we ran out of stuff to talk about.
“Also why is there no church of pander website…â€
Isn’t that what this forum is?
Judas: “Actually I think it was around 600 odd. I have no desire to check and corroborate though. I don’t have that kind of care in me.”
I know, I almost went back and read from when the comments were funny… but then I didn’t want to dredge through all the pissing contests.
June 5th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Funny. Damn, that’s what’s been missing. No wonder I check back less and less often. Oh well. Beware of monkeys.
June 6th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Pander:
“I like this girl”
You’d be surprised how much people “like” me. I’m told it has something to do with my hip movements but lord only knows what THAT means.
June 6th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I’m getting the distinct impression that Bobby’s left the room, never to return, and we’re all standing here kind of awkwardly by ourselves.
June 6th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Almost 2 months now… wow, that’s a new record oO
June 6th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
it’s a little sad isn’t it? It’s been fun, y’all. I’m out!
June 7th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Infrequent updates, inane comments. What’s not to like here?
June 7th, 2009 at 1:40 am
“Almost 2 months now… wow, that’s a new record”
Not even close to the record.
June 7th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I’ve noticed that I always leave some sort of comment so that I know where I have read to.
June 7th, 2009 at 8:49 am
I always bookmark where I’ve stopped and delete the old bookmarks as I go. It makes things easier since my memory sucks!
June 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Kate – That’s a good idea. Haha!
June 7th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
trying to read through all these comments at once, head feels like exploding
June 7th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Marzipan: “Well, up until recently Didi didn’t know she was either… ”
She didn’t know she was french? what a ditz.
“And I can live with the not speaking French, everyone (who lives so close to Mexico) knows that Spanish is the language of love.”
German is the language of constipation.
“Can’t cook though… that might be a dealbreaker.”
There are other things that can be done with the food.
“How else will we get to the kitchen orgies??”
I sense my influence upon you.
“Believe it or not, we ran out of stuff to talk about. Few new people and no spider monkey to push the forum rating from PG-13 to R.”
I miss that girl.
“And Pander won’t believe this, but there is just so much talking about Pander we can do before we run out of things to talk about!”
I don’t believe it.
“Isn’t that what this forum is?”
All the info, none of the upkeep.
kate: “You’d be surprised how much people “like†me. I’m told it has something to do with my hip movements but lord only knows what THAT means.”
Hips don’t lie.
And you’re startin’ to feel me now
Come on let’s go,
real slow
Don’t you see baby asi es perfecto
Corinne: “I’m getting the distinct impression that Bobby’s left the room,”
Nah, he’s still watching and occasionally posting. This amuses him.
archont: “Almost 2 months now… wow, that’s a new record oO”
pfft. hardly.
Jon: “Infrequent updates, inane comments.”
Plagiaristic name-stealers….
Bobby: “Not even close to the record.”
Bobby, how’s the ninja training going?
DaftOne: “trying to read through all these comments at once,”
Breathe in, breathe out, young grasshopper.
“head feels like exploding”
Was it the talk about Didi that did it? Or Kate’s description of herself?
June 8th, 2009 at 4:56 am
YAY!!!!
I finally got my new laptop so I can post retarded comments from my bed room…or in this case my living room…or in like three months my dorm!!
June 8th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
annnnd we wait for the next installment with BAITED FUCKING BREATH!!
the rage comes from love.
June 8th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Good to see you again Ellie.
You too Judas. Always nice to see my king alive and kicking…It’s also nice to know that even when I disappear for several months, my comments can still arouse responses in at least three people ^__^
June 8th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Arouse… Nah, too easy.
June 9th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Mandi: “I finally got my new laptop so I can post retarded comments from my bed room…or in this case my living room…or in like three months my dorm!!”
That’s the power of modern technology!
john: “annnnd we wait for the next installment with BAITED FUCKING BREATH!!”
I agree with one of the last three words. Guess which.
Judas: “Arouse… Nah, too easy.”
Nothing wrong with a girl being easy.
June 9th, 2009 at 4:10 am
Haven’t been here for a good month and… no update… oh well, keepin’ it to the bottom of the to check list and if I get time, Ill come see again…
June 10th, 2009 at 3:39 am
We can has more updates nao?
June 10th, 2009 at 5:02 am
Lol, Sailor Moon, thats rich humor.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:52 am
“Head feels like exploding”
“Was it the talk about Didi that did it? Or Kate’s description of herself?”
It’s all to do with the timing of the strokes, hun. Don’t hurt yourself, now.
Oh, and Pander?
You’re a filthy animal.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Oh my god this is great forum I wish I knew earlier.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Bobby keep up the amazing work I wish more people like u
June 10th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Arouse… Nah, too easy.
Thanks for pointing that out. My time spent in the Pander-less world has made me forget to watch what I say.
June 10th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Crud, had no time for a while…,
Let’s see, addressing the 2 month wait for a new strip of the non-sexual kind…
Other comics way outdo that. Staccato relaunched July 14th last year with a new layout and a new strip, we’re still waiting on new strip #2. I forget others right now that I’m still waiting on a new page from that have a longer record than that.
June 10th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Pawn. ‘s been almost 2 years. Vg cats, another one that updates rarely. Chugworth Academy’s got a good sputter sputter record, with months or longer between strips. Same with the guy’s new comic Boss Noodle. Progress bar’s been stuck at 4 for over a month now. Directions of Destiny, long time no update, with a “Sorry I ‘things and stuff’ updates begin again in ‘month/day’”. You get a couple strips and he vanishes.
Man the list goes on and on.
So yeah, I’m used to it. No, I don’t care if comics don’t get updated. Hell, Neil Gaiman had a very rational take on all these people who feel so entitled to a page exactly when they think it should be there (or anything else that didn’t arrive right when expected).
http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2009/05/entitlement-issues.html
Find entertainment in the comments or somewhere else in yer life. Page’ll show when it shows.
End of talking.
June 11th, 2009 at 6:00 am
Haha, I think I actually read Directions of Destiny once XDD Then I noticed it never updated. But yeah, it IS a long list. I know I can add No Rest for the Wicked up there. It updates once in a great while, but it’s always worth the wait. Same thing with Undertow. I dunno, if you know that you like a comic, then waiting for a new one isn’t too big a deal. That’s why I’m glad I read so many ^_^
June 11th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Hey can I become a ritualist priest at the church of pander
June 11th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Are you gay? Cause Pander doesn’t like to share. I’d know, I was the first high priest.
June 11th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Bill M., Judas, and Ellie: Yeah, but can you list off all the comics that DO update regularly?
I’m not a hardcore comic reader, so all I can list are Sinfest, Least I Could Do/Looking For Group, Menage a 3, Order of the Stick, and Sister Claire (mostly– apparently recently the author/artist tried graduating from college, moving to Belgium and updating all at once, and guess which one got left behind.) And I can’t really say that comics updated rarely makes them that much more precious when they do, because I love the plotlines of all those comics in their extreme regularity. :/
I understand Gaiman’s stance on readers feeling entitled to something which is not theirs in the first place, but on the other hand Lar Desouza and Ryan Sohmer, the creators of LICD/LFG, maintain that the number one mark of professionalism in webcomics is making a schedule and sticking to it.
…Then again, if no one cares about professionalism in webcomics, then I suppose that doesn’t matter.
June 11th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Kate: Oh, and Pander?
You’re a filthy animal.
Where have you been??
Ganthos: Hey can I become a ritualist priest at the church of pander
Doubt it…but Pander does have a rather large harem…maybe
Marzipan: …Then again, if no one cares about professionalism in webcomics, then I suppose that doesn’t matter.
If it shows it shows…the comments are more fun when it doesn’t…the first like twenty all say “Great page/comic…I didn’t see that one coming”
June 11th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Wow you guys are funny as the comic. Hope I can join in on the fun
June 11th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Can I add to that list of regular updates? Sure. Misfile M-F. Only things that stopped him so far are a couple hurricanes and a death in the family. longest streak of away? 4 days that I remember, and fully justified. Questionable Content, M-F. Misses a day here and there, but rarely. Candi and Wapsi Square. Also regularly on time. Gunnerkrigg Court, Red String, [comic title removed by Bobby Crosby], Between Failures, Errant Story, and Flipside. Sometimes they take occasional breaks, but they let you know when, and for how long. Usually for normal real life reasons, vacation, marriages, moving, that kind of thing. Then there’s a whole host of comics that update once a week or every two, or longer, but have specific update dates, that I won’t bother to list. And that’s just the ones I bother to follow. There’s a lot more that I don’t follow that still update regularly, but meh.
Either way your point is valid. If you like the story, and are willing to wait for updates, great, all power to you. I like the story for Marry Me, and Last Blood, and Bobby has all my verbal support and kudos. He’s doing something I’ve often thought about but never wanted to dedicate the time to. And I don’t really care if he’s sporadic. the story is worth the wait, and I have all kinds of other things to do to occupy my time. So I check back on the comic once in a while, laugh at the new page, read the comments and go on my merry way.
As far as professionalism? That’s for professionals. Most webcomic artists are amateurs. Maybe not in their art or writing, but most aren’t doing this for an honest to god living. A lot of them have real jobs that take up their time, and friends and families that take up the rest. The comic is the thing they do to relax, blow of steam, be creative or what have you. And those that are doing this as a job and can’t keep to updates? Whole different can of worms.
So yeah, there’s lots of comics that keep to their schedule, and far more that don’t. That’s just life. Keep doin’ what you’re doin’ Bobby. Like your story, and the comic. When the next page goes up, I’ll be around to check on it. Unless I’m in BCT by then. In the meantime, I’ll just keep throwing out the random comment that I do on occasion.
EDIT BY BOBBY CROSBY: Removed piece of shit comic that no one should ever read.
June 11th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
“And those that are doing this as a job and can’t keep to updates? Whole different can of worms.”
I’m doing it as a job. What I care most about is movie deals, though, which new pages of “Marry Me” can’t help with, since the film’s story is already done and printed ages ago. Same for “Last Blood.” Which is why I’ve written 22 pages of “Dreamless” this year and far less of anything else.
June 11th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Congratulations on following you dream then (At least I assume it’s your dream). It’s more than most people do.
Though I can’t help but be curious. I keep hearing about movie deals, but never anything other than the odd rumor. What are these movie deals you speak of (assuming you can tell)? Anything I should watch for, or that may have already come out but I have not heard of yet?
June 11th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Aww, not a far of [removed title]? Can’t help but laugh and wonder why.
June 11th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Fan that is. Though to know there are other works that involve movie deals and whatever goes along with that makes not updating other works make so much more sense. And gives people even less reason to complain.
June 11th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
And comics of completely different sort (but also updating regularly): Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic (every day save a couple for A LONG TIME), The Dreamland Chronicles (also M-F), Irregular Webcomic (Another every day, possibly more reliably than YAFGC); Evil Diva (M-W-F) has been doing as well as Order of the Stick since I found it. “Key” has been remarkably consistent also
June 11th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
“Though I can’t help but be curious. I keep hearing about movie deals, but never anything other than the odd rumor.”
http://lastblood.keenspot.com/main/2008/04/01/hot-scoop/
http://lastblood.keenspot.com/main/2008/04/02/movie-news/
http://lastblood.keenspot.com/main/2008/07/28/more-movie-news/
“Aww, not a far of [removed title]? Can’t help but laugh and wonder why.”
One of their early strips (2002) made fun of one of my comics, and it’s an incredibly horrible comic obviously.
TheDeepDark: You’re talking about comics done by people who like comics and like writing. I hate writing and I hate comics. And to anyone who disgustingly asks yet again “Then why are you doing them???”: Google it, I’ve answered it 8,000 times (literally by now), and I essentially answered it in my previous comment.
June 12th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Well, I have several webcomics I follow that update at least twice a week.
(Ones not mentioned yet, to my knowledge)
Sandra and Woo, which follows a girl and her raccoon.
Shadowgirls, which is about a girl and her mom dealing with fish monsters trying to take over the world.
Jefbot, a webcomic by actor Jeff Shuetze
Girl Genius, by legendary Phil & Kaja Folio, still going despite Kaja’s illness
Count Your Sheep, nice, simple webcomic (done by the guy who’s now in charge of God Mode)
The Devil’s Panties (also has Geebas on Parade and was in the Iron Man Daily Grind competition)
[REMOVED], Legostar Galactica, Sore Thumbs, And Shine Heaven Now, and Questionable Content…
Now onto the already mentioned ones,
Dreamland Chronicles, Yet Another Fantasy Gamer Comic (dude did an awesome 10 Doctors crossover webcomic, and is now running a Forever Knight/Doctor Who crossover alternating with his alternative Roman comic House of Paulus), Candi, Waspi Square, Between Failures (done by a fellow Kansan), Menagé a 3, Least I Could Do, and Sinfest.
I also occasionally check in on weeklies like L’il Formers, Multiplex, Joe Loves Crappy Movies, Nothing Better, Flaky Pastry, and Ansem Retort, along with others that seem to have no set schedule of updating.
However, none of them move me as much as Marry Me. I got drawn in after reading a few pages, but then again, no other webcomic makes it so easy for me to cosplay as the male lead…
EDIT BY BOBBY CROSBY: Removed a couple horrible comics by total pieces of shit. Any discussion about this will result in banning.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Beware of the normal looking posts…here there are none as can be seen by this:
Bill M.: However, none of them move me as much as Marry Me. I got drawn in after reading a few pages, but then again, no other webcomic makes it so easy for me to cosplay as the male lead…
June 12th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Oh my goodness, SO MANY webcomics out there… and everyone is always ‘This one is SO GOOD you should read it!!!’ but I simply don’t have time to follow every webcomic recommended to me!!!
Life sucks.
I should set up shop as a reviewer so I can just read all day.
…Except I’m sure there are about a million web reviewers already, and some of them might actually be able to form coherent thoughts and know how to spell (as opposed to the OMG TIHS COMIC ROXXXXX(or SUXXXXX) U SHUD READ IT!!!!!!!!!!)
…and I can’t believe that that’s the most obnoxious blogger typing I can pull out. Truly pathetic.
June 12th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Everyone should go read “Dreamless,” by the way. I’m actually a little ahead on that one right now. Wrote Page 23 last night.
http://www.dreamlessmovie.com
June 13th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Gah, how did I misspell Foglio?
Mandi, all it takes for me to cosplay as Guy is to not shave for two days, match up my shirt color, and get some posterboard to make the sign. I’ve already got everything else down pat…
Bobby, not trying to discuss the removed webcomics, it is your forum, I shall try to refrain from talking about webcomics not written by you anymore. I realize my tastes are not everyone’s, and I’m not trying to force anyone to miss out on that good ol’ Mac goodness over at Last Blood, the awesomeness over at Dreamless, the outting of Osama Bin Laden as Jimmy Peterford’s mom over at Sore Thumbs, Harold’s antics as he annoys Corbin in +EV, the endless cycle at Wickedpowered…
I’m sorry, but no amount of money in the world will make me say anything good about Superosity… dang it, I had a chance there…
June 13th, 2009 at 12:55 am
“Superosity” is way better than “Sore Thumbs” and “WICKEDPOWERED.”
June 14th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Bobby: “One of their early strips (2002) made fun of one of my comics, and it’s an incredibly horrible comic obviously.”
I admire a man who can hold a grudge.
June 14th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
So…are there any people who randomly leave comments who are artists that would like to work on a comic that I am writing?? You won’t get paid but you can use it to build up your portfolio if you want to become a professional artist…otherwise I’m going to have to talk my cousin’s girlfriend into doing it for me…or have it become like my joke one that I haven’t updated in almost a year that no one even looks at.
Also Bobby how do you set up the pages that you give to Remy??
June 15th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Just out of curiosity, since I’ve suddenly become hooked on both this and Dreamless, do you have any plans of finishing “When Parker Met Guy” before you set a new record of not updating?
I know you’re extremely busy, but you’ve got a lot of talent and you should show as much as you can.
June 15th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Jenn: Ugh, answered that question multiple times on this page.
Mandi: Answered that many times as well, although not on this page.
June 15th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Follow me on Twitter for good “Marry Me” related news from today:
http://twitter.com/bobbycrosby
June 16th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Please Bobby Crosby, don’t update this comic until it reaches 1000 comments!
Only 540 comments to go! =D
June 17th, 2009 at 2:23 am
Wow the randomness is so soothing I might just have to stay forever >D
And now a poem for Bobby
Love ya Bobby kisses and stuff,
And if that don’t make it plain enough,
Love ya cause you rock and roll,
Like awesome epic dudes of old,
Which ones you might want to ask,
Well that I fear would be quite a task,
Suffice to say you rock the world,
But what do I know I’m only a girl.
Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Try the veal.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:46 am
I like it (batgirl).
June 17th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Yeah… that poem works for any guy… =\
June 18th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Magic
June 19th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
OMG!!!
I hate using those but it was needed…my mom went on here because she saw me reading it and she said that she liked the story but that Pander is going to go to hell…she didn’t say why however…it’s either the fact that he is calling himself god or the whole immorality thing.
June 19th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Oh sweet bejeebus, that’s funny. Have fun in the burny place Pander. Lord knows I’ll most likely be there myself.
June 19th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
“Pander is going to go to hell…”
Of course he is. He’s a lawyer.
June 20th, 2009 at 2:32 am
Glad you liked it Bobby =D. And now cause I’m on a role here’s one for Pander,
Here let’s take a good ol gander,
At a guy by the name of Pander,
He’s got him some chops,
So lets give him his props,
He say’s he’s a god,
Which I find a bit odd,
He talks about orgies,
But claims no abilites,
Except that old immortality,
Which if you ask me is a technicality,
How does he prove it you have to ask?
Ah who cares please raise your glass,
To a man named Jon Pander,
A man who ain’t afraid of candor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to think of a ryhme for orgies?
June 20th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Batgirl said: “Do you have any idea how hard it is to think of a ryhme for orgies?”
Cheese, peas, freeze, disease… seriously, rhyming is easy, especially when you’re not trying to be sleazy. Rhyming purple is dull, and finding a rhyme for orange led me to grunge, but rhyming orgies is fun on a trapeze.
June 20th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
It’s so nice to find a forum of intellectual people… until the topics turned to more questionable things. It definitely entertained me though. Bobby, your work is amazing. I also read Dreamless and admire your ingenuity in your scripts. Keep up the good work.
As for the amusing comments, I’ll continue reading those just for the humor. It isn’t often one can find something that actually makes them laugh. Or is that just me? Huh.
June 20th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
This chapter was absolutely hilarious. Utter genius. I actually thought he had a crush on Parker.
By the way, anyone know how I can subscribe to this topic?
June 20th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
This chapter was absolutely hilarious. Utter genius. I actually thought he had a crush on Parker.
By the way, anyone know how I can subscribe to this comic?
June 21st, 2009 at 8:10 am
Bill M: Cheese, peas, freeze, disease… seriously, rhyming is easy, especially when you’re not trying to be sleazy. Rhyming purple is dull, and finding a rhyme for orange led me to grunge, but rhyming orgies is fun on a trapeze.
What can I say I was writing on about two hours of sleep and everything just sounded sleazy =D and as I make it a rule to not creep people out unless I have a nodding aquaintence with them, it was even harder than usual.
June 21st, 2009 at 11:04 am
batgirl: orgies: more-Gees? for me?
You didn’t say it had to be a GOOD rhyme, right?
Nice vocabulary, though, to get gander and candor to rhyme with Pander.
June 22nd, 2009 at 5:16 am
“I make it a rule to not creep people out unless I have a nodding acquaintance with them”
Huh… I usually tend to creep people out just by being awake and present. I plan to dedicate a massive team of scientists to study what it is about being able to stand up straight and look someone in the eyes that most people find disconcerting.
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 am
”Huh… I usually tend to creep people out just by being awake and present. I plan to dedicate a massive team of scientists to study what it is about being able to stand up straight and look someone in the eyes that most people find disconcerting.”
It doesn’t help that your eyes are on fire.
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Marzipan: You didn’t say it had to be a GOOD rhyme, right?
Nice vocabulary, though, to get gander and candor to rhyme with Pander.
It dosen’t have to be good but it does help with the return cringe factor if I can at least look myself in the eye for having written it. More people should read dictionarys is all I’m saying.
Judas: Huh… I usually tend to creep people out just by being awake and present. I plan to dedicate a massive team of scientists to study what it is about being able to stand up straight and look someone in the eyes that most people find disconcerting.
That my friend is a rare and wonderous gift, treasure it for all your days.
Ro: It doesn’t help that your eyes are on fire.
Flamin’ eyes of DOOM! On another note you might wanna get thoese looked at ^^;
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:12 am
Mandi: “my mom went on here because she saw me reading it and she said that she liked the story but that Pander is going to go to hell…”
Oh Mandi, I can’t stop laughing now. Think she’d mind if I quoted her in any advertisements I do for the Church of Pander?
And Jon, just look at that, you earn a stronger and more emotional opinion than the comic you use as a base for your posts. My most admiring congratulations.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 am
Flamin’ eyes of Doom, huh? Could be. I’m wouldn’t be surprised if my internal rage at the general stupidity of the many people i must deal with on a daily basis is starting to leak out my eyes..
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 am
Jessica: Oh Mandi, I can’t stop laughing now. Think she’d mind if I quoted her in any advertisements I do for the Church of Pander?
I especially like that she read like all the comments as she was reading the pages
June 25th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Will it ever update? The label ‘Dead’ is going on this…
June 26th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Meg-Meg: Will it ever update? The label ‘Dead’ is going on this…
Silence you fool! Somebody might hear you and then whoomp you one for asking questions already answered previously.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:24 am
I love how great comis like these ones die with no warning because GREAT artists and writers add more and more comics to their to-do list. GREAT IDEA GUYS!!!! JUST FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!! -complete scarcasam if you were to retarted to tell-
June 26th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Allie: You spelled retarded wrong, for one, and secondly the comic itself is finished. If you paid attention, this part “Where Parker Met Guy” is a SIDE STORY, and therefore not actually part of the comic. Bobby just started it for the readers, but he’s busy with more important things like Dreamless. Instead of complaining, why don’t you just go read that one?
June 26th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Also Jessica I doubt she would…the ads could say The Church of Pander – Now with a 95% chance of going to hell!!
And I concur with Samiya…you can easily tell because 1 it says it in the descritpion of the comic and 2 no one is really pissed that there has been no update in a while.
June 26th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
description not descritpion sorry